The Project
by The Only Pancake
Summary: AH. AU. Realistic plot! --- Bella is swept into a life of friendship and heartbreak. Will she overcome the obstacles Forks faces her with, or will she fall and be left in the dust? A story about love, struggle, rocks, and The Lion King.
1. Chapter 1: Meet the Lab Rats, part one

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Preface

_When observing a family unit, you can tell a lot about them by the way they behave around one another._

_Study the child, and all secrets about the parents will be revealed. Study the parents, and you can absorb the families' dynamic._

_I was always interested in the Psychology field. Upon moving to __Forks, Washington__, I received the most hands on learning experience I ever had._

_My subjects?_

_The six most interesting people you will ever encounter.

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The morning that first day was very bleak. The clouds were a dark, depressing shade of gray. The September wind blew gloomily and made the trees moan in protest. The temperature was unusually frosty for such a time of the year.

My mood was reflective of the weather.

Today was the first day of school, and my fourth day living in Forks.

My mother and Phil insisted I stay with them, but I fought back and told them I needed to spend some quality time with my dad, finally.

Though I was bitterly regretting it as I looked out my upstairs window, I knew I would not have done things differently if I could go back a week in time.

I slipped on my shoes and coat and trudged unhappily out to the cruiser and flopped inside. Charlie joined me a moment later and started the engine.

I was not optimistic at all. I had a feeling that school was going to be hell. My own personal prison. Trapped with materials I probably learned in ninth grade, and stuck with people I was surely not going to like.

I found the office, got my schedule, then took a seat in my first class; which was Art 4.

It was in this class that I met my very first Forkian, Alice Brandon.

I could say only that I was amazed by her entrance into the room. The moment she stepped through the door frame, the whole classroom became fluffier.

Not lighter; because the conversation did not take on an airy atmosphere. Everything just seemed to become, well, fluffier!

Her pale gray eyes spotted me instantly, and she slid into the chair next to me at the two-seater table.

"Hello! I'm Alice. Are you Isabella? You fit the description." Her chirpy voice didn't startle me. She looked like the excitable type, with her wild hair and bright eyes.

I couldn't help but smile at her. She was infectious.

"Call me Bella, please."

"How long have you been in Forks, Bella?" she asked, sounding more interested then I expected anyone to be when they met me.

"A few days. I settled in on Friday." I shrugged.

It had been, in twenty seven minutes, exactly sixty-six hours from the moment the cruiser crossed the 'Welcome to Forks' sign.

Yes, I was keeping track of my suffering time. The moment the bell rang, letting me know I was free for the day, seventy-three hours would have passed.

The teacher entered the room and went over the syllabus he passed out. Shortly thereafter, we were given our first assignment. It was to draw and color a still-life shot of a piece of fruit with whoever we were sitting with.

"What fruit should we do?" Alice asked me.

"An apple," I suggested lamely. It was a classic. "Or maybe an orange," I added.

Did it actually matter?

Apparently it did because she looked affronted.

"Those are too obvious!" Her voice implied 'duh'.

I grinned. "There's a such thing as an inconspicuous fruit?"

Alice scoffed theatrically. "Of course! Take the mango, pomegranate, or the tomato for example. They hide in the depths of everyone's brain, acknowledged only by the rare individuals who care to put in the effort to seek them out."

My partner smiled brilliantly, and her eyes twinkled.

Alice was swiftly proving to be one seriously random, strange, little girl.

I was swiftly starting to like her.

I couldn't help but play along.

"I think I know the perfect fruit," I announced.

She leaned in close. "And?"

I smirked a little bit. "We will be drawing a kumquat."

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Our picture would be started later, once we had a model. It wasn't long before Art ended, and I was headed to my second class, Home Economics.

The class was mostly full by the time I entered it. I was instantly unnerved. The kids were hanging around in tight-knit groups of friends.

I was not about to take the chance of being either sucked into conversation or shunned, so I ducked to the left and sat at the only table that had room.

Two other girls were with me. One was rather tall and had glasses; the other about my height with caramel colored hair. They both offered me a smile, which I returned, but none of us made small talk.

I could get used to this.

The teacher passed out her papers, talked a little, then went into an explanation of what the class would teach us. (That being life-long skills and whatever.)

Her first assignment was to talk to the others at our table and learn three facts besides names.

We were _assigned_ to talk?

Wonderful.

Neither of them showed any inclination to start. My cheeks turned pink when I realized that I would have to initiate the conversation.

"So, I'm Bella." That was all I said.

"I'm Angela." That was the taller girl.

We both looked at the third. She was the one who kicked up a real conversation.

"I'm Esme. Something about me is… Well, my favorite color is silver." She shrugged a little bit.

"Mine is Yellow." Angela declared. "It's a very soothing color. I like it."

Did I have a favorite? Not really. "I like darker shades, but none in particular."

What could I tell them that was even mildly interesting about me?

I came up with something simple. "I'm an only child."

"Me, too." Esme agreed quickly, keeping her eyes focused on the desk.

Angela smiled fondly. "I have twin brothers. They're seven."

It was now Angela's turn to pick the question.

She cheated. "My next class is Geology."

All three of us chuckled a little bit. "Mine is Geology, too!"

"Mine is History," Esme added. Now that three things had been said, she turned her attention elsewhere.

I talked to Angela about nothing in particular for the rest of the period.

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The two of us said goodbye to Esme and found our next class. We sat by each other in the back of the room, looking at a book of rocks.

After a while, two people caught my interest.

The female was sitting on the male's desk. She had silver-blonde hair and an annoying laugh. The male was sitting ram-rod straight in his chair. He had curly blonde hair and looked uncomfortable.

"Who are those two?" I asked Angela curiously.

She looked up, then promptly rolled her eyes. "Lauren Mallory and Jasper Whitlock."

"I think she's annoying him." The observation wasn't that hard to make.

"She's been annoying him since fifth grade when his mother married his step-father." That information instantly intrigued me.

"What difference would that make?" I'm sure I looked a little too eager, but I couldn't help it. She had just supplied me with a premium fuel to my obsessive analyzing.

Angela's voice was little more then a whisper when she leaned closer and began the explanation. "He has a step-sister who's our age, Rosalie Hale. Tall, blonde, super-model pretty. Trust me, you'll know her the second you see her.

"Anyway, Lauren has been trying to make friends with Rosalie since middle school. She's a climber of the social ladder, and Rosalie is a golden ticket right to the top."

I rolled my eyes, too. How shallow some people were! What sort of a person uses some poor guy for her own stupid aspirations?

After the teacher explained a little about the class, Angela and I spent the rest of the time arguing over the difference between granite and slate in its roughest form.

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My last class before lunch was English. I had gotten myself lost, so I arrived exactly two seconds before the bell rang.

I would have just sat down, but I had to jump back and avoid some blonde kid as he stumbled through the doorway.

"New faces! I'm Mrs. Porter, you two are?"

"I'm Mike," he announced proudly.

"I'm Bella." My voice was notably quieter then his had been.

There were three tables in the classroom, Two that had six chairs and one with three. They formed a U shape around the center of the room, where the teachers desk was.

I followed Mike to the short table and took one of the two empty chairs. I settled in between him and a boy with messy bronze hair.

"Is anyone sitting by somebody they have a problem with?" The teacher asked. After a short silence she clapped once, "Grand! This class is going to have five permanent groups of three, so get used to the people near you."

Why was every teacher in this damn school forcing us to inter-depend? I hated group work!

The teacher passed out a novel to each of us, _Wuthering Heights__._

"Your first assignment is to finish the first three chapters by Friday. When you finish, discuss what you have read with the group."

She floated behind her desk, and I cracked open the book. I read it last year, but I wouldn't mind doing it again.

I was soon lost in the world of Heathcliff and Catherine.

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**Teaser for c2:** I glanced over my shoulder and felt my heart flutter. Standing there was the singularly most gorgeous boy I have ever laid eyes on.

_All reviewers who say more than "update soon" or "great chapter" will get an extended teaser!

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	2. Chapter 2: Meet the Lab Rats, part two

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I followed the crowd into the lunchroom, bought myself an apple, then found Esme sitting by herself.

I joined her at the table. "Hi, Esme."

"Hi, Bella." She smiled at me.

A half of a second later three other people joined us. One was Angela, then there were two boys. Angela introduced them as Eric Yorkie and Tyler Crowley.

Eric, Esme, and Angela started talking about their journalism class, and my attention began to wander.

I zoned in on a little pack of people when they entered the room. I first noticed the brick-wall of a boy. He had to be over six feet tall, and his broad body was loaded with serious muscle. His brown hair had gentle curls that the girl was playing with.

_She_ had a very attention-commanding appearance.

"I think I found Rosalie." I glanced at Angela, who nodded.

Behind Rosalie, looking very unhappy, was Jasper. The three of them sat down at a corner table, and I returned my attention to the group.

Eric and Tyler were half drooling as they stared at the girl sitting across the room.

"So, who's that other guy?" I asked them.

"Which one?" Esme asked me.

"The big one."

Esme didn't even glance at who I meant. She seemed to know. "That's Emmett McCarty, the school's idiot jock."

"He's not an idiot." Tyler defended him. "He almost has a 4.0! I heard him talking to Rosalie about it."

Eric finally rejoined the mentally coherent. "That's because he needs the grades for a scholarship. He's was Washington's best wrestler as a _sophomore_. He had been undefeated since seventh grade when he started."

Looking at him, I didn't find that surprising at all.

"He acts like an idiot," Esme pointed out.

I jumped when someone standing behind me spoke. "Excuse me?"

I glanced over my shoulder and felt my heart flutter. Standing there was the singularly most gorgeous boy I have ever laid eyes on.

He was Charlie's height, had thick blonde hair, and pale skin like mine. His body was slight but sturdy looking, and his eyes were a pretty shade of hazel.

Now that he had our attention he continued, rather shyly I will add, "Would it be alright if I sat with you guys?"

There was more or less a collective shrug. Looking pleased he found a chair and sat down between Tyler and myself.

Eric introduced all of us.

"Are you Carlisle?" Angela asked him.

He nodded.

"You're the foreign exchange student from London, right?" Tyler asked.

He smiled a little bit. "Not really. Foreign exchange students don't own a house and live with their parents."

"So you just moved here then?" Esme asked, looking slightly interested.

He nodded again.

_Quiet one, isn't he?_

I decided to try and strike up a conversation. "What do your parents do?"

"My father is the town's new pastor. We moved here for my mother's health. Forks has a very good hospital." He shrugged a little. I couldn't confirm or deny it, because I actually haven't hurt myself yet, so I haven't been there!

"Do you know where the gym is?" Carlisle asked me suddenly.

"Sorry," I smiled apologetically, "I just moved here from Phoenix. I'm as lost as you are."

Before he could get directions, a bell-like voice jibed at me.

"You're in the lunchroom. There, I found you!" I turned my head and smiled when I saw Alice almost to the table.

She startled me when she sat down right on my lap, due to the lack of available chairs. Grinning she triumphantly displayed a little orange fruit.

"Look what I've got! Edward found it for us. _Where_, I will never know." It was our kumquat!

"When do you want to start? Can I come over to your house after school?" She asked hopefully. The sooner the picture was done, the better, so I didn't have any problem with that.

"I'll ask my dad when he picks me up."

"Can Edward come, too?" She asked me. "He was going to come over to my house today."

"My dad shouldn't care, so why not?" I answered.

"Awesome! I'll see you after school, Bella." She actually patted my head before she skipped away, over to the same Edward I sit next to in English.

Hah, small world.

"She's very cheerful," Carlisle commented.

I laughed and turned my head to look at him. "Yeah, I think we should get used to that."

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It turned out that both Tyler and Eric were in my next class, computer programming. Eric was a little geeky, but under his oily exterior I thought he was sort of cool.

Tyler wasn't saying much, he was reading _The Great Gatsby_ while we walked. I guess he had a different English teacher then I did.

When we entered the classroom, his smile broadened. I followed his gaze to learn why.

Sitting in the front row of the room, between two other girls, was Rosalie Hale.

Eric stopped walking all of a sudden, and I turned to watch him. He bravely faced the trio of girls.

"Hi, Rosalie. You look really nice today." Eric greeted. Tyler's mouth fell open in shock.

_Or horror._

The girls instantly stopped conversation, and they all looked wide-eyed with disbelief. Rosalie glanced at Eric in shock.

"And you're talking to me, why?" Was her response to him.

Her friends started giggling, and Eric shrank away, scampering to the back of the room with Tyler.

My temper flared. Who did this little skank think she was?

I took a few steps forward, standing where Eric was just previously situated. I glared at her and tried to stop myself from hitting her with a book.

"Did you want something?" Her scathing voice asked me.

Squaring my shoulders I answered, "Yeah, I want you to apologize to Eric. He was trying to be nice to you, though I could never imagine _why_." I made sure I sounded quite as rude as I was trying to be.

Once her shock wore off, her face twisted into a furious scowl.

"Do you know what _I_ think?" She growled out her question.

I snorted. "Should I pretend to care?"

My comment was completely ignored, and she continued, "I think you should tell your freaky little friend to stay away from me."

We both glared stubbornly at each other.

The teacher stopped the sparks from flying when he entered the room and instantly demanded, "Everybody take a seat!"

I ripped my eyes away from Rosalie and stalked to the back of the room, sitting beside Eric.

His eyes shined. "Thanks, Bella. That was pretty awesome."

I shrugged and pretended to listen to the teacher explain the program tools we were going to be using. Really, though, I was brooding as I glared at the back of Rosalie's head.

I had a strong feeling this is not the last time we were going to clash.

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**Teaser for c3:** Due to his unresponsiveness, she turned her attention onto me. "And, you, Bella! You're the daughter of the Chief! How _could_ you?"

_All reviewers who say more than "update soon" or "great chapter" will get an extended teaser!_

_

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	3. Chapter 3: Abstract With Alice

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Calculus was my second to last class. It was easy to find because it was located right next to the Art room.

I wandered inside early because I didn't stop in the hallway to talk to anyone like most of the other kids. It turned out both Edward and Carlisle were in this class, too.

Edward was sitting in a desk in the middle of the room, talking to the girl who sat in front of him. Carlisle was in the first desk on the left of the room. I sat in the first desk of the second row.

"What are we way up here for?" I asked him curiously. I hated being in the front of the classroom. You'd rarely see me even in the third desk of any row if I could avoid it.

Looking relieved, Carlisle confessed, "I was sitting here because I hoped it would prevent too many of the ladies surrounding me. They won't leave me alone!"

I didn't have to guess why. With his stunning looks, friendly attitude, and extremely attractive accent, he'd have half of our grade chasing after him by the end of the week.

After a few seconds of silence, he invited more conversation with a question. "So, what is Phoenix like?"

I smiled fondly. "It's great there. Warm, sunny, and colorful. The sand by my house was a reddish-orange, a really nice shade to look at." It was ten times better then the boring yellow sand here in Forks.

"You know, I have never seen sand before. All there is in London are parks, stone, and clouds." Carlisle frowned a little bit. I couldn't tell if it was because he missed London, or he didn't like the lack of excitement.

I suppose he must have missed it because he wouldn't get much out of Forks besides houses, trees, and clouds.

We both jumped when an excited voice shouted, "Bella! I didn't know you had this class!"

I turned to see Alice as she flounced into the room. She messed up Edward's hair with a laugh as she walked past him, and then sat down behind Carlisle.

"Hi, Alice." I greeted her. "Have you been protecting our kumquat from physical harm?" I can only imagine drawing bruised fruit for class. That would be pretty entertaining to explain!

"No, I gave it to Edward and told him to guard it with his life." She grinned. "He said he'd gladly die in defense of my precious fruit."

I had to admit, that was rather funny, and we both chuckled.

"What's a kumquat?" Carlisle asked shyly. He looked nervous about entering our conversation.

"Edward!" Alice barked across the room and waited for him to turn his head. When she had his attention, she demanded, "Where's Henry?"

"In my backpack." Edward answered simply.

She named it?

"I want to see her!" Alice announced.

She named it Henry after gender-specifying it a female?

Yes, she was definitely an oddball. But she was a lovable oddball.

Rolling his eyes, Edward rummaged in his backpack, and then extracted the little orange fruit.

"She's as perfect as when I bought her, Alice." Edward promised. "I haven't failed you yet, captain." I smiled as he chuckled to himself.

"Okay, thanks!" Alice smiled brightly.

Edward turned back to the girl, and Alice glanced at Carlisle. "That was a kumquat."

The rest of the period was spent taking notes on the types of angles.

My final class of the day was Gym. I recognized Mike from English and that Emmett guy.

Fortunately, we didn't play today.

Almost as soon as the bell rang, I was out to the parking lot.

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I headed over to the cruiser, peering through the open window but not getting inside.

"How was your first day, Bells?" Charlie asked hopefully.

"It was good. I met a ton of people." I was pleased that I was honestly able to answer on such a high note. My attitude this morning had made a 180. I could maybe get used to Forks.

Before he could respond, I asked, "Do you mind that I invited two people over today? We want to get our art thing done as soon as we can."

"That's no problem." Charlie smiled at me.

I turned around and waited twenty seconds, and then Alice and Edward came into view. Alice was skipping ahead, and he carried her backpack.

The smaller girl came to a halt once she reached me, her eyes wide with fascination. "We're riding in the cruiser? That is so awesome!"

Why it was awesome, I was unable to tell.

"Do you want to ride up front?" I invited.

She nodded with enthusiasm, and I stepped aside, allowing her to get in. Edward walked around the car and hovered patiently by the door.

I knocked on the window. "Hey dad, unlock us." There was a click, and I was able to pull the back door open.

As usual, due to our vehicle, traffic was slow.

"Bella, did you finish your reading for English yet?" Edward asked casually.

"Yes, but I've read the book before." I admitted.

"I have, too. Just this summer." He smiled at me.

"We're going to talk circles around Mike tomorrow." I joked. Well, half-joked. We probably were going to talk circles around Mike.

Our conversation was cut short by Alice.

She had put on dad's hat, which almost covered her eyes, and was glaring at us from the front seat.

She shook her head, her face twisted with mock-sorrow. "I never thought I'd be seeing you two back there. Edward, you were always such a good kid. Where did your father go wrong? Did you even think about your poor mother?"

Edward just rolled his eyes but otherwise ignored her silly antics.

Due to his unresponsiveness, she turned her attention onto me. "And, you, Bella! You're the daughter of the Chief! How _could_ you?"

Once again, it was impossible for me to not play along.

"I'm a rebel, Alice. I _have_ to fight the man." I smiled at her.

That got all four of us laughing.

"Alice." Charlie gained her attention. "It's more fun to give them the cold shoulder and watch them glare at you from the mirror."

"Oh, okay!" She smiled and turned around, glancing at the mirror.

Edward glared at her, and she stuck her tongue out and waved.

Soon we were home and us kids loaded into the kitchen. Edward set the small orange fruit on the table, and then disappeared behind a French book.

"So, are you better at freehand or shading?" Alice asked seriously.

I sucked royally at shading. "Freehand."

She pushed the paper over to me and handed me a pencil. I set the tip down and got myself in my art zone.

"Wait!" Alice broke my concentration.

What could it possibly be? I gave her a questioning look.

"Let's make it interesting! Innovative. How about we do something abstract?" Her eyes twinkled with excitement.

"How do you suppose we do that?" I asked her.

"I'm just coloring, that's your problem." She shrugged.

Wonderful! That was so incredibly helpful to me.

After a while, Edward gave me some help. He turned the fruit so it was on its side, and the stem was facing me.

"If you look at it from an angle, you can make it triangular." He offered.

And so I made it triangular. Neither of them spoke while I was drawing. When I was done, I turned the paper over to Alice, and the conversation was rekindled.

"Do you play chess, Bella?" she asked me.

"I know how, but it's been a while." The last time I actually tried to play was when mom met Phil. That was almost three years ago.

"Aimeriez-vous jouer chez moi quelque jour?" Edward asked me in what I can only assume was French.

I blinked stupidly at him. "Was I supposed to understand that?"

A small smile graced his previously blank face. "I asked if you'd like to play at my house sometime. Alice has plans with Rose this weekend, and Jasper and I wouldn't mind the extra company."

"So, the army brats are finally tired of each other?" Alice asked mischievously.

"Your parents are in the army?" I asked for the sake of conversation.

"My father is." He shrugged before sinking back into his book.

I turned my attention back to Alice. "So, who is Rose?"

"Jasper's step-sister. I met her through one of the infamous chess wars a few years ago." Alice answered.

My mind instantly flickered to computer programming.

"You're friends with that pin-up doll?" I asked in shock.

I could hardly imagine someone as cheerful as Alice fraternizing with that shrew.

"So, you've met her?" Alice didn't seem to notice my surprise.

I snorted in response.

Edward grinned. "Bella, is your sixth period, by chance, computer programming?"

"Yeah." I answered warily.

Both of them erupted into laughter.

"What's so funny?" I frowned slightly. Did I miss something?

"So, you're the girl she told me about!" Alice exclaimed after catching her breath.

"Was it bad?" I asked, even though I was positive of the answer.

At the same time, both of them answered, "Very."

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**Teaser for c4:** His voice was very unemotional. I couldn't be sure if it was because he had detached himself from the memory or because he honestly didn't care.

_All reviewers who say more than "update soon" or "great chapter" will get an extended teaser!_

_A thank you goes to voldemortperfumes, for fixing Edward's french. xD

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	4. Chapter 4: Chess With The Army Brats

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The rest of the week passed painlessly and quickly. Before I knew it, Saturday had rolled around.

At noon Charlie dropped me off at the Masen house. It was just as I expected it to be. Large, a fancy exterior, and a classy interior. Dad has told me a little bit about the Masens'. They were a younger family, neither parent yet 40 years old.

The mother, Elizabeth, was a soft spoken and kind individual. The father, Edward Sr. was not very well known around town because he was frequently in other countries.

Anyway, Edward led me into the dining room, where Jasper was setting up the chessboard. We sat down, and Edward nodded towards me. "Jasper, this is Bella."

Without looking away from what he was doing, Jasper informed us, "I know her already. She's in my Geology class."

I was surprised he remembered. I hadn't once seen him take his attention away from the teacher during class.

Edward made the first move of the game, jumping his line of pawns with his knight.

"What branch of the military is your father in, Edward?" I asked conversationally.

Alice had called them army brats, but that term was universal and didn't necessarily mean just the army.

"He's an actual army man, an officer." Edward answered simply.

"That's a good thing?" I guessed.

Edward shrugged. He was more focus on what Jasper was doing than in answering my question.

"Don't let him throw you off, Bella." Jasper said suddenly. "Colonel Masen is the youngest person of his rank in the entire state."

Edward rolled his eyes. "It's not a big deal, Jasper."

I was interested. "How did he climb the ranks so quickly?"

"He went to a military school since eighth grade." Edward started to answer. "He graduated high school early, went to college for engineering, then enlisted. Because he had graduated his school as one of the top in the class, he started out as a Warrant Officer. Seventeen years later and this is where he's ended up."

I understood that. Charlie was only thirty-six, but because he joined the force when he was eighteen and worked his tail off, he became the Chief last year.

I suppose it did help to start early in life.

I watched the game for a while before Edward suggested, "Jasper, why don't you tell her about Gregory?"

Jasper's lowered eyes lingered on the board for a few seconds of silence. He slowly pushed his rook forward a few squares before mumbling, "Rosalie's dad is a general, also in the army. He retired just a few months ago." That was all he said.

I naturally made a few mental notes. It was instantly clear Jasper had a strained relationship with his stepfather. Edward had purposefully called him by his first name rather then saying 'your father'.

Jasper had called him just 'Rosalie's dad', which implied he did not look at Gregory Hale as a father figure in his life. He also seemed reluctant to talk about him.

That was interesting. Angela said the families merged when Jasper and Rosalie were fifth graders. That's nine years that had passed!

"Are you sleeping over next weekend, Jasper?" Edward suddenly asked his friend.

"I'll ask if I can later." Jasper muttered his response.

I was unashamedly getting a lot of pleasure out of watching them interact. This friendship was fascinatingly detached.

Edward was proving to be a forward person, while Jasper seemed more reserved. Their small talk was formal, much like two strangers rather then friends.

However, observing their body language made it clear the two of them were very at ease with this format. Unlike in school where they seemed rather tense, the boys were very relaxed with one another.

They were more comfortable with being aloof than involved. It probably meant that neither of them were open people.

I made note to investigate that when the time was better.

"Are you coming over tomorrow?" Jasper asked Edward.

"Not unless I finish my history repo-" Edward's answer was cut short by the scowl that was suddenly painted onto his face. Jasper has swiftly claimed Edward's queen with one of his bishops.

Jasper grinned smugly, and the change in the air was almost comical. It went from laid-back to electric in three seconds. Almost like two countries with a peace treaty, the two boys were squaring off and ready for war.

A gentle female voice from upstairs broke the sudden concentration. "Edward, could you please come up here for a second?"

"Yeah, hold on mom." He answered distractedly.

I watched as Edward glared at the board for a while before making his move. It didn't take two entire seconds for Jasper to do the same.

The instant and confident action seemed to really throw Edward off.

A deadly silence settled in around us. I was so absorbed with waiting to see what happened next; as were the boys; all three of us jumped when Edward was summoned again.

"Your mother wants you, Edward!" A sharp male voice, probably his father, called from upstairs.

Instantly, as if by the push of a button, my classmate's careful indifference snapped to full attention. I swear if he were a dog his ears would have perked.

His father was definitely in charge of this family. I don't think I have ever seen such a dramatic change in attitude happen so quickly.

"Bella, will you play for me?" He asked as he stood up. I nodded and watched his hurrying up the stairs.

Sliding into his chair, I studied the board. If I distracted him with a knight to the right, I could sneak a pawn to his end and reclaim the lost queen.

Moving the knight, I engaged the plan.

I was startled when quiet-kid Jasper asked me an unexpected question. "Why did you move to Forks?"

"Because my mom got remarried and was going to move around a lot. I didn't want to have to have them drag me along, so I came here to spend time with Charlie." I answered him.

"How often do you see Charlie?"

What kind of a question was that?

"In the morning, after school, and on Sunday." I answered him; despite the suspicion that he was evaluating me the same way I was him.

Rather then ask another question, he made a comment. "I hear that moving all the time is irritating. You probably made a wise choice."

I discreetly shifted the pawn closer to my goal. "Don't you move a lot?"

I thought military kids relocated every year or whatever. With a father of a high rank, you could assume that at least.

"We never had to." He looked up after moving his bishop dangerously close to my knight. "Rosalie was only four when he went to Desert Storm, she was with her mom. The first time I moved was when I was nine, and my mother married him. We were living in Hoquiam."

I didn't really know the Forks area well, but I did know where that was. It was located just south of here.

"When we were eleven, he was in Korea for eight months. Shortly after that, he was stationed in Japan to over see some thing going on there. He had an eighteen-month tour in Afghanistan a while ago, too. Rose's grandmother came here and stayed with us while he was gone each time." Jasper briefed me on the history, and then fell silent.

Why would one of their grandparents have to come?

"Is your mother in the service, too?" I asked in surprise. Wouldn't they just stay with her?

"My mother died when I was thirteen." He answered flatly. "She was in the navy, and the submarine she was in was faulty. None of the fifteen passengers made it."

His voice was very unemotional. I couldn't be sure if it was because he had detached himself from the memory or because he honestly didn't care.

The latter was difficult for me to accept. Why wouldn't he care?

Either way, he was giving me the fakest little smile I had ever seen.

I held his gaze as I pushed the pawn into place, and then grinned in triumph. "Queen, please."

His head snapped down to the board, and he frowned. Edward materialized beside me. "Good job, Bella! I thought you said you were rusty!"

He sat in the chair next to me, and I smiled shyly. "I guess not."

Jasper grumbled as he put the queen back on the board.

"Edward, do you want to play again?" I asked. Honestly, I wouldn't mind.

"No, you can keep going." He smiled at me.

I sulked on the inside. I was hoping he would say yes.

Jasper took my decoy knight and huffed lightly, waiting for my next move.

It took almost another half an hour before he beat me. I was surprised I had lasted that long!

"Good game, Bella." Jasper commended me.

I blushed a little at the praise.

I was saved from thinking of what to say back to him when Mrs. Masen entered the room.

"Kids, are you staying for dinner?" She asked us.

I was strongly opposed to the idea. I didn't know the family too well, and so I didn't want to feel like an intruder.

However, I didn't want to hurt her feelings either. She was smiling warmly at us, and I melted.

"I could, if you want me to." I answered. Charlie said he would be watching the game at Waylon's tonight, anyway.

Jasper looked reluctant.

"Come on, Jasper. You don't want to eat alone at your house, do you?" Edward tried to convince him into accepting the offer.

The wariness that had shown on his face instantly melted and he smiled. "Fine, I guess I'm staying, too."

Edward smiled before turning his attention onto me. "Bella, do you want to play against me?"

I smiled back. "Bring it on."

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_**A/N:** I have an outtake of this chapter that will be posted like a regular chapter. I have a _lot_ of them for this whole story, same posting schedule will apply. If you see a random message at the bottom of the chapter, it means there is an outtake for it. The teaser for chapter five will be on the bottom of the chapter four outtake. (And so on as the story progresses.)_

_Make sense? Good._

_Reviewers will still get a little something special. *shifty eyes*  
_

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	5. Four in Jasper's POV

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The Project

Chapter Four

Jasper's POV

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It was Saturday. In particular, the second Saturday of the month. That meant it was chess day with Edward.

When Edward led me into the kitchen, he announced, "I have a friend coming to join us today."

"Okay." I answered simply. He set out the box that held his chess board just as someone knocked on the door. I settled into my usual chair and asked, "Who?"

"Bella Swan."

He wandered to the front room, and I found my mind starting to wonder. Isabella Swan was that new girl in my Geology class. She was the one Rosalie hated. The daughter of the chief of police. Hmm. _Fun_.

I started to set up the board, and when I was nearly finished, the front door closed. A few seconds later, I heard Edward announce, "Jasper, this is Bella."

"I know her already. She's in my Geology class." I answered boredly. Was I honestly supposed to jump and shake the hand of my sister's nemesis? I think not.

I set the last pawn on the board, and the others joined me at the table. Edward made the first move, and I quietly countered. They began small conversation as we played.

"What branch of the military is your father in, Edward?" Bella asked him. She sounded more polite then curious. She must not be a people person, if she couldn't strike up a conversation without grasping for strings.

"He's an actual army man, an officer." Edward replied in a rather flat tone. He hated it when people fawned over his dad because of his position in the military.

"That's a good thing?" Bella asked him. I (mentally) rolled my eyes. Could anyone be that oblivious about the people that protect their nation?

I shifted my bishop closer to Edward while he shrugged in response to Bella's inquiry.

His aloofness made me mad. His father was a very kind person that cared about him a lot. He shouldn't be brushed aside like that. Edward took the Colonel's love for granted, because he had never known anything else.

_Bastard._

I stepped into the conversation, "Don't let him throw you off, Bella. Colonel Masen is the youngest person of his rank in the entire state."

"It's not a big deal, Jasper." I could almost hear the eye roll Edward surely gave me through his irritated voice.

I ignored the rest of their short conversation, and soon it fell back into the silence I was so accustomed to.

I had just broken a rule between the two of us. It was not an unspoken rule, either- we verbally agreed upon it when we were freshman. No bringing up our father figures to other people. I did not get along with mine, and Edward was tired of thinking about his dad as just some high-ranking officer. As I expected, he was going to get me back for that in the worst way possible.

Edward prodded me after a while, "Jasper, why don't you tell her about Gregory?"

_Don't punch him in the mouth._

_Don't do it, he's your only friend._

_All is fair in love and war._

_You started it_.

After my mental pep-talk, I slid my rook a few paces towards Edward. I supposed I had to answer now. I didn't just want to ignore the question and seem like a rude asshole.

"Rosalie's dad is a general, also the army. He retired just a few months ago." I muttered quietly. My cold tone seemed to alert her not to ask me any questions, because she didn't.

Huh. If she wasn't my sisters enemy, we could probably get along. I had to stick beside Rosalie no matter what, though. She was my only family. Her enemies were my enemies; her friends were my allies. It was just how things worked.

"Are you sleeping over next weekend, Jasper?" Edward suddenly asked me.

Sleeping over at Edward's house made me uncomfortable. I had known him since I was nine and moved into this rainy little town. It was hard for me to adjust to the new environment after my mom got remarried. I was angry and hateful, and even if I had wanted to, I probably wouldn't have made any friends on my own.

Lucky for me, Edward was having a hard time, too. His dad was in Japan at the time, and he was a mess. Together we were a train wreck, so we subconsciously reached out to one another. I could not recall any words besides formal ones passing between us until we were thirteen, but we _always_ just clicked.

I supposed it would have been wrong of me to avoid his family, even if the tight-knit bond between them made my heart clench. Edward was too good of a friend to me to deny him.

"I'll ask if I can later." I answered under my breath. Gregory would never tell me no, and we both knew it. He complained constantly about my anti-social life. He always got very happy whenever I made the effort to be friendly with other people.

Speaking of friendly, I might as well make that happiness useful to me. Tomorrow Rosalie was going to be at Maria's house. I was going to be bored and alone. I asked him. "Are you coming over tomorrow?"

I blinked in surprise when I realized I had a chance to take Edward's queen but had not yet done it. He started to answer- letting me know he needed to finish his history report- as I replaced his queen with my bishop.

Edward scowled, and I grinned, quite smug with myself. I almost always lost to Edward. The little bastard was just great at this game.

"Edward, could you please come up here for a second?" Mrs. Mason called from upstairs.

"Yeah, hold on mom." Edward instantly responded. Judging by the tone of his voice, she'd be holding on for a while.

Edward moved his pawn. Without thinking, I jumped my knight right beside it. Edward blinked in surprise. He detested the fact that I was underhanded during play. I knew that hasty counterattacks stomped on his confidence. Just like when we played poker, he could never tell if I knew what I was doing or if I was trying to mess with him.

"Your mother wants you, Edward!" Mr. Masen snapped from upstairs. All three of us jumped at the sudden silence breaker.

Edward snapped to his feet and asked hopefully, "Bella, will you play for me?" Bella nodded, and he darted over to the stairs. I watched her replace him in his chair and stare at the board intently for a few seconds.

This was my chance to get to know her. I wanted to feel her out and see what she was all about. It was very, very odd for a situation like this to arise- the split within my personal loop of companions. My sister hated this girl, while my only and best friend liked her enough to invite her into our private little world. So soon, too! He only knew her a week.

I wanted to know _why_ that was.

Bella moved her knight finally, and I decided to engage a conversation. What could it hurt? "Why did you move to Forks?"

I was pleased that her answer came immediately. "Because my mom got remarried and was going to move around a lot. I didn't want to have to have them drag me along, so I came here to spend time with Charlie."

Interesting. Upon her own choice, she left the parent she spent her entire life with to give her some privacy with her new husband. Was she trying to get to know the father she never had? Did she want to get away from her mom after that many years alone with her? I wished I could ask.

I didn't. I asked something entirely different. "How often do you see Charlie?"

Bella looked taken off-guard but answered me anyway. "In the morning, after school, and on Sunday."

More questions sprang to mind. So very many questions. Did she regret the decision, when she didn't really get to see her father? Was she happier with the distance and independence? Did she know he was a busy person, but came anyway because she just needed a place to live until she graduated?

_Why do you care so much?_

I had no idea.

"I hear that moving all the time is irritating. You probably made a wise choice." That was the response I gave to her. I wasn't going to become stalkerish and prey on her personal information like a starving shark. Just because I had accumulated a strange craze to know every person the way I could quote a book, didn't mean I had to ask a girl I didn't even know questions like that.

It was all about the evaluation. I learned that these past few years. Seeing how they respond to what they never expected to hear. You can learn more from a person by surprise then anything else.

"Don't you move a lot?" she asked me curiously.

"We never had to." I moved my knight close to her rook, ready to take it next turn. With that done, I met her eyes and elaborated. "Rosalie was only four when he went to Desert Storm, she was with her mom. The first time I moved was when I was nine, and my mother married him. We were living in Hoquiam.

"When we were eleven, he was in Korea for eight months. Shortly after that, he was stationed in Japan to over see some thing going on there. He had an eighteen month tour in Afghanistan a while ago, too. Rose's grandmother came here and stayed with us while he was gone each time."

"Is your mother in the service, too?" She asked me, sounding surprised.

It took all I had to stop from flinching. _Nobody_ talked about my mother. Ever. The last person that brought her up was Alec a year ago, and I busted his lip for it.

Bella didn't know, though. I had to try keep that in mind to stop myself from exploding.

My voice had absolutely not emotion when I answered, "My mother died when I was thirteen. She was in the navy, and the submarine she was in was faulty. None of the fifteen passengers made it."

It tore my heart into pieces to do so, but I smiled at her. Why did I do it? Was I trying to reassure her that I was okay with my mother's death? Was I lying to myself to make _myself_ believe I was okay with it? Both would be lies. I would never be okay with my mother dying in such a way.

I would never be okay with knowing she died disappointed in me.

A grin plastered onto Bella's face. "Queen, please."

I snapped my attention onto the board. What the hell? Why didn't I see her sneaking up on me like that?

_Because you were lost in her eyes._

"Good job, Bella!" Edward- who had just reappeared- jovially praised. "I thought you said you were rusty!"

"I guess not," she answered him with a shy smile.

I grumbled under my breath as I replaced her pawn with the fallen Queen.

"Edward, do you want to play again?" she asked him. She sounded eager to stop. Oblivious as usual, Edward declined.

About thirty minutes later, I had her in a checkmate. I praised her, "Good game, Bella." For someone who had not played in a long time, she was quite good at it.

A blush stained her cheeks and made my heart skip. Oh my God. Was it even legal for a blush to look that hot? The red in contrast to her pale, creamy cheeks sent a shiver along my spine.

"Kids, are you staying for dinner?" I turned my head to see that Edward's mother had entered the kitchen.

Bella looked instantly wary as she inspected the woman. Her eyes displayed her hesitation. After a few seconds, though, her face melted into a warm acceptance. "I could, if you want me to," she answered.

Eyes turned onto me. I was sure I looked as reluctant as I felt. I didn't want to stay for dinner. I didn't want to see the way Edward's eyes lit up when his father smiled at him. I didn't want to have to fight off the tears when he and his mother laughed at an inside joke.

I certainly did not want this over-observant girl to notice the pain in my eyes as I wondered why Rosalie and I never ate dinner with her father as a family unit.

Edward glanced at me. "Come on, Jasper. You don't want to eat alone at your house, do you?"

_Yes._

I couldn't do that to him. He did not understand my weirdness towards his family. He didn't even realize it. If I tipped him off he would figure it out, and like always, trick me into telling him what was bothering me. I couldn't have that.

I smiled a little. "Fine, I guess I'm staying, too."

He smiled back before turning to his new friend. "Bella, do you want to play against me?"

I expected her to decline. She hadn't seemed like she had wanted to play at all. However, to my interest and surprise, she accepted the offer with a look of hesitant happiness. "Bring it on."

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**Teaser for c5:** I _fully_ expected her to hit me, but she did not get the chance.

_All reviewers who say more than "update soon" or "great chapter" will get an extended teaser!_

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	6. Chapter 5: Catfights and Carlisle

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Alice was not in school on Monday, so Art was rather boring. In Home Economics, there wasn't much conversation because we had been attempting to make an edible brownie mix.

It was in Geology that the first semi-eventual thing of the day happened. The teacher announced that, in groups of three, we were going to start a project. The project was to collect three types of rocks from the same group and then write a one page paper on each. Any additional pages were extra credit.

"Bella," Angela spoke to me, and I turned me head to look at her. "Are we working together?"

"Of course, we are!" I smiled at her.

Now, we only needed a third person. Who should we ask, Connor maybe? He would probably be working with his friends Austin and Chase, though.

As long as we didn't get stuck with Lauren, I would have been happy.

I swear I nearly had a stroke when Jasper more or less liquefied in between our desks. "I'll work with you two."

"Why?" I asked in surprise. He'd never showed interest in either of us before.

"Several reasons." Jasper shrugged.

Wow, that's wasn't at all vague.

"I wouldn't mind. Bella?" Angela glanced at me for my answer.

"Well, you're in." I flashed Jasper a friendly smile, which he did not return.

He was strictly business. "Would you ladies mind doing igneous rocks? I already have one, and it would save time."

I had an igneous rock, as well. I nodded, as did Angela. With it agreed upon, the tall blonde walked back to the other side of the room and took his seat.

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I sat at the usual table during lunch. I was the first to arrive, but soon Esme and Tyler joined me.

"Hi, Bella." Tyler smiled.

"Hey, Tyler. Esme."

A moment later the rest of the bunch arrived. Esme and Carlisle sat on either side of me, while Eric and Angela flanked Tyler.

That's how it had been since the second day of school, the natural division within the clique.

Angela, Eric, and Tyler had been friends for a long time. They were bound to be more loyal to one another then the three they just met.

The rest of us were outcasts, two new kids and the mystery girl. _We_ bounded together out of necessity rather then loyalty. When you have nobody else, you naturally turn to the other outcasts. That was Esme and Carlisle, and that was the reason we all get along so well.

"Does anyone have plans for the homecoming dance this Saturday?" Tyler asked unexpectedly.

"Eric is taking me." Angela smiled. Eric beamed, and they looked at one another. It was a look of friendship rather then interest, but there was nothing wrong with that. Two friends can go to a dance together.

Carlisle immediately opted out. "I think I will be staying home. I have two projects due on Monday that I have not even started yet."

"Wouldn't the rest of this week be enough?" Eric asked him.

I watched Carlisle lower his head and shrug. He mumbled, "I just want to make sure I get it finished."

Tyler opened his mouth to make a comment. It was pretty clear Carlisle didn't want to talk about this. He was shy, but he's never looked so… small before. Something was bothering him.

I cut Tyler off in an attempt to save Carlisle, "Tyler, are you going? You brought it up for a reason, right?"

"Yeah." Tyler pinned Esme down with a hopeful look. "Do you have a date already, Esme?"

Her fingers tightened around the book she was reading, her eyes very wide. Hesitantly, she shook her head.

"Well, want to come with me?" His smile broadened.

I swear I watched her die a little on the inside at the suggestion. If there was one thing I had learned about Esme, it was that her degree of shyness almost bordered on reclusive.

All she needed was a little shove.

"That sounds like fun, Esme. You should go!" I made sure my tone was light.

The sparkle in her eyes revealed that she was now considering it. Angela noticed too. "The four of us can go together. Eric's older brother has a van. We'll all fit inside."

"That does sound like fun." Esme smiled, and that was more or less an acceptance of the dance offer.

"Bella, are _you_ going?" Carlisle asked me. His voice was too casual to be innocent. The neutrality in his tone was loaded with suggestion. His hands were clutched a little bit too tightly.

I felt my heart skip a beat when I realized he was preparing himself to be jealous.

"Jessica is under the impression that Edward is going to ask you." Angela informed me. "She was really bitter about it this morning."

Jessica Stanley was the girl who sat in front of Edward in our Geometry class. Thoroughly confused by this information, I asked, "Why wouldn't he go with Alice, though?"

Their friendship seemed stronger then just friends, and too affectionate to be best friends. Surely they were together?

"Bella, Edward and Alice are cousins." Esme told me.

_That_ explained it.

I had to decline, though. "Jessica can sink her claws into him, because that's never going to happen. We're just friends."

I was sure it did not help Edward that any time I thought of someone as perhaps more than a friend, I saw the blonde hair and hazel eyes of the English boy sitting right beside me.

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Computer programming went by rather painlessly. The boys helped me code a calculator.

It was once I stepped into the hallway that the drama started.

Rosalie, Jasper, and her two sidekicks from class, Jane and Maria, were huddled by the lockers across the hall.

Much louder then necessary, Rosalie sighed to her friends. "_I_ heard that her mom was tired of her and begged Chief Swan to take her in."

My whole body stiffened, and I whirled around, staring at the blonde in complete shock.

_What_ did she just say?

Eric and Tyler anxiously flanked me as the idiot continued. "I can't imagine what she did. I'm sure it was pretty bad. I pity her father, having to live with that hanging over his shoulder."

Jasper's eye met mine briefly before he looked away. "Rosalie…" was the only word he uttered. You could hear both his disapproval, and his warning.

He had seen the sheer rage in my eyes and was trying to shut his sister up.

Too late.

I shoved my backpack against Eric's chest, and he obediently took it. I stomped over there and shouldered Maria right out of my way. I stood face to face with Rosalie.

"If you don't have a clue what you're talking about, you should try shutting up. You're only making yourself sound stupider then usual, if that's possible." I scowled at her.

It was obvious he tried not to, but Jasper snorted once in laughter. That only fueled his step-sister's fury. She handed her own backpack off, to Jane.

"You should watch what you say to me, Swan." She glared at me. "I don't take kindly to being insulted.

"What do you take kindly to?" I grinned. "Scaring little kids with your beady eyes?"

Let me tell you, you have not experienced the meaning of 'death glare' until you've met Rosalie Hale.

I had not expected her to actually pounce at me, so naturally I flinched away when she did just that.

I _fully_ expected her to hit me, but she did not get the chance.

With the speed of a lightning strike, Jasper got in between us. He gently grabbed Rosalie's arms and lightly pinned her against the lockers.

His back was facing me, but I could still see Rosalie from over his shoulder. She was glaring murderously at him.

"Rosie, you know what dad said about the fighting." Jasper's voice was very soft when he spoke to her.

After a few tense seconds, she relaxed and tugged herself free of his grasp.

"This isn't over, Bella." She spat my name as she glowered at me.

"Good, I look forward to our next date." I smirked at her. My heart was still racing, but she didn't know that.

Sighing in exasperation, she stomped away. Maria brutally rammed into me as she followed. I was knocked right into Jasper, who caught me before I fell.

He steadied me, and I blushed. "Uh… Sorry."

He completely ignored me as he wrapped his arm around Jane, and the two of them leisurely strolled down the hallway. Even if he pretended nothing happened, I was grateful for the intervention.

"Bella, do you have a death wish?" Eric asked, shocked.

"Rosalie and her friends would have ripped you apart!" Tyler added.

I took my backpack off and answered as I headed off to Geometry. "It would have been worth it."

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After the lesson was over, we were given a little time to work on a review for our test tomorrow. For the first time since school started, Carlisle was silent. After a while, the silence started to drive me crazy. I really was too used to Alice's endless chattering.

"So Carlisle, this weekend, do you want some help catching up on your homework? It's never good to fall behind." I offered my assistance innocently, even though I wouldn't mind spending time with him without homework being the main focus.

Carlisle looked confused for a fraction of a second before he offered a small smile. "No thank you, Bella. See… I'm not _really_ doing homework. I just wanted to avoid questions. I'm going to be spending the weekend with my mother at the hospital."

Oh, right. He did mention that she was sick a while ago.

"What's wrong?" I asked hesitantly.

"She has lung cancer. She's in a remission." Carlisle was gazing sadly out the window.

I felt my heart throbbing for him. If Renee was the sick one…

"Would you like me to come with you?" I offered. I don't know what compelled me to do that. I guess that if it _was_ Renee who was sick, I would never want to have to go alone.

After a few long seconds Carlisle turned his eyes to me. "Yeah, I think I would like that."

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_Eclipse teaches little girls that it's okay to cut yourself for your boyfriend._

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	7. Five in Jasper's POV

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The Project

Chapter Five

Jasper's POV

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Monday.

Thank God for the fact that it was Monday. At least for the next five days, I was free of Edward's parents. Next time he wanted a sleepover, he was coming to my house. That worked for me so much better.

No heartache. No nightmares about my mom. No having to lie to him about my nightmares being about my irrational fear of cats. Or the time I broke my arm when I was seven. Or the time Rosalie almost drowned because she didn't learn how to swim until she was eleven when Emmett taught her.

Or, shortly after _I_ turned eleven, the one and only time to date that Gregory hit me. You may not think that would give me nightmares seven years later, but it did. I couldn't choose what my young eleven-year-old mind had picked as a scary memory, could I?

At least I had a large collection of lies to feed my friend.

Anyway, always another plus, Gregory tried to avoid me when I had company because I tended to make an unwanted scene.

_I do it on purpose, but he doesn't need to know that._

I entered my first class of the day, Sociology. Jane pranced over to me and wrapped her arms around my waist. She planted a friendly kiss onto my lips and smiled. "Hey, Jasper."

"Hello, Jane." I greeted her back. The two of us were officially together. Most people assumed that our extremely non-physical and aloof relationship meant we were together because we were bored.

Most people assumed wrong.

Jane was not special to me in any way, and never had been. She was my sister's friend ever since they were eight. She was the twin sister to a boy I was frequently at odds with. She was a popular person with our classmates, and viewed as a very stable young girl by the adults in the town.

I needed her because she helped hold me together.

Jane knew that high school freaked me out. The constant drama, the instant and ever-changing shifts among the student loyalty, the unexpected coursework: I didn't adjust to it well. It took me four years to get used to the damn town after I moved into it- and then I hit high school.

Because Rosalie had asked her to, Jane acted as my anchor in this chaotic sea. She made sure I didn't have to be in contact with people, while I could maintain a low-key life among my peers. Because of her status in the social hierarchy of Forks High, nobody looked at anti-social, jumpy, anger-prone Jasper Whitlock, like I was an outcast among the herd. By default, forgetting the fact I was 'related' to the most popular girl in school, Jane made me socially acceptable.

The least I could do to repay the girl was kiss her and let people know she was off-limits.

I gave a little nod to Esme as I took my seat in the desk beside her, then paid full attention to the teacher.

My second class was Political Science. I delivered a note of Jane's to Alec, then kept to myself in the back. I liked it in the back. Nobody could see you there.

I was surprised to feel an ember of excitement spark to life inside of me when the bell rang. It was time for Geology. It was time to see Bella again. I meandered into the room and sat down. Lauren instantly, as always, latched her vicious little claws onto me.

"Jasper," she offered me a forced smile, "how has your day been today?"

It had been pretty routine- which in turn meant it was great. I was tired of Lauren, though, after almost a decade of putting up with her. If I didn't like her nine years ago, why would I now? If I refused to introduce and highly recommend her to Rosalie nine years ago, _why_ would I _now_?

I gave her a dead-serious glare, and my voice was as hard as stone, when I answered, "Absolutely terrible."

It took my entire reserve of effort not to smirk when the color drained from her face, and her mock-friendly attitude instantly snapped into wariness. My large, unblinking, blue eyes locked onto hers. I felt almost like I was pinning her down. She was a mouse, and I was a cat. Her hesitancy was food to satiate my hunger for amusement.

Without another word passing between us, Lauren shivered and turned around to face the board.

I finally smirked. _Score to date: Jasper- 86, Lauren- 3. _

The teacher started class and made an announcement of a new group project we were required to do. Three people, three different rocks from the same category, at least one page of information per rock.

Before Lauren could invite me to work with her, I slithered away from my desk and retreated into the shadows in the back of the room. My eyes instantly zoned onto Bella and Angela. They were my targets.

I wandered silently over to them, stepping in at just the right second and offering, "I'll work with you two."

Bella looked surprised. Angela just smiled. Bella asked me, "Why?"

_Because I hate Lauren._

_Because I am afraid to ask the other boys in the class. _

_Because your blush is easily conjured and sexy as hell._

_Because I can't show a bad grade to Gregory._

_Take a pick? Any pick?_

"Several reasons." I shrugged lightly, making sure my tone was neutral.

"I wouldn't mind." Angela announced cheerfully. She glanced at her partner, "Bella?"

"Well, you're in." Bella dictated as she smiled at me. She looked warm, and welcoming, and non-threatened by my being here. So many people, after these years of being in contact with me, avoided me. I was hotheaded and unpredictable. I had triggers that nobody knew- some I didn't even know myself. The new girl didn't know that, though.

_Don't let her get close enough to find out. You'll only burn her when you finally erupt._

"Would you ladies mind doing igneous rocks?" I asked hopefully. "I already have one, and it would save time."

When they both nodded, I whisked back across the room, returning to my desk.

I didn't need another friend. Bella was wasting her time.

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I suffered through Economics, the most boring class in history, with Tanya. She left with Caius, and I wandered into the lunchroom and over to Rose. I had no money, therefore I was not buying myself a lunch today.

Lightly leaning on Rose's shoulder, I snatched an apple from Emmett and smirked. "Hey, thanks."

He scowled at me, and his eyes flashed with challenge. I never got along with Emmett. In fact, I frequently pissed him off just to see how long it would take him to hit me. I found out once that he was actually pretty short-fused. However, Rosalie kept him on a tight chain, so he never actually did hurt me. It was such a pity. I needed a fight sometimes. It made me feel better.

That was what Edward was for, though. Best friend or not, it was fun to start trouble between him and Alice, or him and Peter. Alice never got hurt, and Peter deserved to _be _hurt.

I'd never provoke his anger and direct it towards _myself_. I didn't have a death wish, you know.

Anyway, I hated Rosalie and Emmett's relationship. She leaned on him entirely, while he allowed her to keep too tight of a hold on his free spirit. It was just riddled with possible disaster. But did Rosalie listen to Jasper when she was warned to keep him as strictly a friend? No. Of course not. Rosalie did what Rosalie wanted, never once considering how badly the after effects would bite her in the ass.

_Idiot._

_Wait, don't call your sister that! You need to be supportive of everything she does, even if you disapprove. It's your job._

_Still... She's an idiot sometimes._

"Jasper," Rosalie looked up at me, "Do you need some money?"

I smiled pleasantly at her. "Nope, I'm fine. See you after class."

I wandered away from her table and sought out Jane. To my dismay, I found that she was sitting with Alec and Maria. Yay. Maria was a great friend to Rosalie, but the headstrong bitch really needed to be slapped. Too bad I was a guy. Alec was my own personal nemesis. He was fine until I started dating Jane last year. Then he became all tense and hostile.

_Prick._

I plopped down in the open chair between the twins and smiled at Jane. She smiled back, but we said nothing to each other. I was not a talker, and she knew that. She did, however, hand me a small Tupperware container.

I ignored Alec and Maria's conversation as I warily peeked inside.

It was Jell-O. Thoughtful of her, but skin-rash-like irritating. Why? Because it was strawberry.

_Strawberry._

Ignoring the fact that I only ever ate lemon Jell-O, because it was my mom's favorite; I was allergic to strawberries and this had real fruit in it. Shouldn't she have known this after this long? I shook my head and sighed a little, handing it back to her. "I'll stick with the apple."

She frowned, bitterly looking away from me. Alec glared at me, his dark brown eyes looking murderous. I glared right back and asked frostily, "Do you have a problem?"

Maria stepped in as peace-keeper. She interrupted our probable argument over my rudeness, "Alec, didn't you have a question for Jasper?"

Alec scowled at her. She shrugged, taking a sip of her lemonade to avoid talking to him. With a sigh, Alec returned his attention back onto me. All the aggression had been replaced with shyness. Well, never shyness with Alec. Hesitancy was a better word.

"Jasper, did you happen to do last night's German homework?" He avoided my gaze all together as he waited for an answer. Alec was a very studious person. He looked almost embarrassed to have to ask if he could copy my homework for a class he was better in. Something must have come up to keep him from doing it himself.

I tossed the green folder at him. "Give it back before class." The class was right after lunch, but lunch lasted for another twenty-five minutes, so it should be enough time.

"Are you leaving?" Jane asked curiously.

"Yeah. I'll see you girls and Rose after next period." I answered. Without another word to any of them, I hunted Edward and Alice down in the hallway.

-------------------------

German went just fine. Like always, our teacher let us leave three minutes early. She wasn't supposed to, but she wanted to get rid of us.

I leaned against the lockers across the hall from the computer programming room. Soon, the girls joined me. I asked cheerfully, "No Bella problems today?" She didn't _look_ like a pissed off harpy. But, one never knew with Rosalie.

"Not today," she agreed coldly.

Maria frowned. "Why the hell did she even move here?"

At that exact moment, Bella exited the room and joined her guy friends where they had been waiting for her. Rosalie- stupidly- started trouble.

She sighed with mock-sorrow, "_I_ heard that her mom was tired of her and begged Chief Swan to take her in."

_Here comes the Bella problems._

The girl in question instantly twirled around, her horrified face locking right onto Rosalie. Of course, seeing this reaction only encouraged Rosalie's spiteful behavior. "I can't imagine what she did. I'm sure it was pretty bad. I pity her father, having to live with that hanging over his shoulder."

I dared to meet Bella's eyes for a second. It was frightening to see the level of outraged she looked. Just this Saturday, she had mentioned she moved here of her own choice- to give her mother privacy with her new husband was my strongest inkling.

Rosalie was entirely out of line.

I glanced sternly at my sister and chided, "Rosalie..." The two of us- we didn't really need words. It was a formality more then anything. She would be able to see that I disagreed with what she was doing. Honestly, did she even have a real reason to hate Bella this much?

Bella shoved herself- literally- into the picture. She squared off with Rosalie, snarling through her scowl, "If you don't have a clue what you're talking about, you should try shutting up. You're only making yourself sound stupider then usual, if that's possible."

A snort of laughter escaped me. Though for the sake of sibling loyalty, I did try to hold it back. Now I knew why Rosalie hated her. She was snippy, and perfectly capable _and_ willing to be mean. Rosalie wasn't at all used to _other_ people being mean.

Rosalie shoved her backpack at Jane and glared at Bella. She hissed scathingly, "You should watch what you say to me, Swan. I don't take kindly to being insulted."

Fuck. She was pissed. _Bella was in trouble._

Bella only grinned. "What do you take kindly to? Scaring little kids with your beady eyes?"

Rosalie sprang forward, looking ready to kill. It took me only a fraction of a second to take action. I grabbed her arms just below the elbows, and pressed her back against the lockers. She stopped struggling instantly. This would not be the first time we'd established that she could never escape my superior strength. She didn't waste the effort anymore.

With a glare fierce enough to kill, my sister met my eyes. An unseen current of electricity sparked between us. Nobody, not even Emmett or Edward, would have realized the meaningful conversation our eyes had in that one second.

I had done the unthinkable. I had done something neither of us even considered a physical possibility. I chose Bella over Rosalie. I chose a girl I didn't even know over_ my sister_. The betrayed look in Rose's eyes very clearly asked me why I would do such a thing.

"Rosie," I addressed her in a soft tone, using a nickname only I was allowed to use. I was mentally scrambling for an explanation. What the hell was I supposed to tell her? How could I make her understand the odd little tug I felt whenever I saw Bella? The pinch of rage that her hateful words against the girl made me feel?

_Lie to her, damn it._

A half of a second had passed. I finished lamely, "You know what dad said about the fighting."

That was a good lie, actually. Rosalie got into her first fight three years ago. In fact, it was with Maria. She lost pitifully, but she gave a good effort before Emmett could break them up. They became friends during detention.

Her first was her last for about a year. However, she got onto a violent streak fourteen months ago. It was around the time Alice started getting really serious with Peter.

None of us liked Peter. Not Edward, not Esme, nor Alec or Jane. Emmett didn't know much about him, but he still disdained the kid. Everyone thought Marcus was the trouble: but they were all idiots. Emmett was a good judge of character. He could tell as easily as the rest of us that Peter was the real problem.

So, Rosalie always looked at Alice as her best friend. She still did, even though she spent less time with her. Anyway, Rosalie knew that Peter was bad for Alice more than anyone. She was the first one to mention the fears, and the one who felt the strongest about them being together.

She told Alice to stay away from him. Alice told her to back off, then walked away.

Rose was forced to step back and watch Alice ruin her life, because she was too afraid to break away from the boy she considered her only real friend. Could you imagine how much that hurt Rosalie?

Enough to make her want to hurt other people as an outlet. Maria became her partner in crime if- by chance- she pissed off the wrong person. A lot of the girls here in Forks are bigger than my petite sister.

Girls had brothers, and brothers got angry when their sisters cried. Said brothers liked to start trouble with Jasper to get him to stop Rosalie from being a bitch to younger sisters.

Just out of tenth grade Jasper, and high school graduate brothers were not a good mix. The threats and bullying got so bad, Edward broke a kid's wrist to make him leave me alone.

That same night Colonel Masen called Gregory and alerted him to the fact all of this was going on. Shocker of her lifetime, he told her, I quote even: 'You better stop this, Rosalie Lillian, _or else_.'

That was all he said, but it was enough to scare the hell out of her. Her father had never been anything but a push over when it came to his daddy's girl. I'd never seen her look so terrified.

Fighting career ended there.

Very clearly, she remembered that as well. She relaxed completely and pulled her arms away from me. I let my hands fall to my sides.

Rosalie shot Bella the death look and spat, "This isn't over, Bella."

_Of course it isn't..._

"Good, I look forward to our next date." Bella replied with an arrogant smirk. I saw right through it. Her eyes were wild with fear.

Rosalie huffed and started down the hallway. Maria followed, ramming into Bella like she had been rammed into a minute ago. I winced when the smaller girl collided with me. Before she could sink to the ground, I wrapped my arms around her waist and helped her regain her balance. Her cheeks ignited into that perfect shade of red.

_I wonder if my lips could feel the warmth under her skin?_

"Uh... Sorry." Bella apologized. She apologized for accidentally being shoved into me. How very strange, for girls our age.

With the potential harm to her safety half way across the hall, I blocked her out of my mind. She was just another one of the faceless shapes around me in the hallway. I ignored her as I released my hold on her. I wrapped my arm around Jane, pulling her close to me, as we headed slowly down the hall.

After a moment Jane asked, "Since when do you get that involved in Rosalie's personal business?"

Good question. I was a behind-the-scenes part of her life. We both liked it better that way. Not even Emmett, her best friend and boyfriend, knew about how intertwined and close of a relationship we had with one another. I needed my sister the same way she needed me. I hung back in the shadows, ready to catch her if she started to fall; and she walked three steps ahead of me to make sure the path was cleared.

We were a team. We worked together in everything, in every way. I just broke the biggest unspoken rule. The team _always_ comes first.

Why did I do that? What was it that drove me to turn against Rosalie? If she wanted to get into an unknown trouble, who was I to stop her? She was old enough to make the decision for herself. So why did I do it?

_You didn't want to see Bella get hurt._

Fuck, that was it, wasn't it?

I sighed, drawing in Jane's attention. Glancing at her I decided, "It's not just Rosalie's personal business anymore."

* * *

**Teaser for c6:** The warm liquid collided with my raw tissues without warning, and I reacted quite horribly.

_All reviewers who say more than "update soon" or "great chapter" will get an extended teaser!_

_

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_


	8. Chapter 6: Tennis and Jujutsu

* * *

On that Thursday, in gym class, I received my first injury since moving to Forks.

Coach Clapp announced that we were starting doubles tennis today. We could easily squeeze our 18-person class in the outside courts. After we were told to find partners, Clapp called both me and Emmett over to him.

"Bella, it seems that you struggle a little in this class. Would you say that I am right, or not?" He looked at me warily. He was probably afraid he had offended me.

"Well, yeah." I blushed.

"I think Emmett would be able to help you. Do you kids mind working together?" He glanced at us both.

We both shrugged indifferently.

"Great! No showing off, McCarty." Clapp narrowed his eyes and glared at him.

Emmett grinned, showing a set of childish dimples. "Sure. Come on, Bella."

I followed the human wall over to the rackets. He handed me one. "You need a heavier racket because your swing is probably gentle. You need the power balance."

I followed him outside, and we partnered against Austin and Mike. The ground was slippery, and I had trouble staying on my feet, let alone playing. I darted to the side to make the hit and tripped on somebody's extra ball.

I went tumbling right towards the ground. Stupidly, I put my arm out to brace the fall, and it ended up taking all the damage. Gravel tore my skin open, and I winced as pain lanced through my arm.

Emmett flailed over to me, almost falling in a puddle, then knelt beside me. He helped me into the sitting position.

"Bella, are you alright?" He asked, his voice earnestly worried.

I felt the color draining from my face when I looked at my arm. The flesh was shredded right off, and I was bleeding very hard.

Mike hit Austin's shoulder and demanded, "Go get Clapp!"

Austin darted away, and Mike knelt down beside me, too.

My arm throbbed with a terrible fire, and I started crying. I bit my bottom lip to try and stop myself, but it was not even slightly useful.

Emmett hugged me, "Hey, don't cry Bella. Calm down, it's just a scrape."

_Just a scrape! Fucking liar._

Coach Clapp darted over, nudging Mike away. He knelt down and grimaced when he looked at my wound.

"What happened?" He asked.

I was too busy trying to keep some composure, so I didn't answer.

"She tripped on a ball and fell." Emmett answered.

I could smell the salty waves of crimson and unwillingly crumpled into Emmett's chest. I felt like I was going to pass out.

"Emmett, Mike, can you two get her to the nurse?" Clapp asked.

The boys picked me up like a rag doll, and I was powerless to protest. My knees felt like jelly, and I closed my eyes, taking slow and deep breaths.

I felt us moving and forced myself to see what was happening. Mike held the door open as Emmett entered the school.

"Hey, I can walk!" I protested weakly. I hated people taking care of me; it just comes with the 'independent person' territory.

Emmett frowned, and I glared dangerously at him.

"Stubborn." He labeled me quite correctly then let my feet touch the ground. I staggered forward, gingerly wrapping my wound in the bottom of my shirt so I didn't get blood all over the place.

"Mike," Emmett suddenly said, "Go run ahead and tell the nurse what happened."

The blonde boy darted down the hallway. Emmett held onto my good arm as he helped me the rest of the way. The nurse took instant charge.

I was more or less pushed into a chair beside the sink, and she turned the water on. I was shocked, and terribly relieved, when Alice appeared in the picture.

"Bella! Are you okay? How bad is it?" Her gray eyes were wide and anxious.

I ignored her questions for one of my own. "Are you sick?"

Why else would she be here?

Alice shoved the boys away and came to stand beside me. "No. I needed an ice pack."

I hadn't really noticed the nurse's gloved hands touch my arm. The only thing I could really feel was the pain. So, knowing this, you can understand when I tell you I almost died the second I felt water on the wound.

The warm liquid collided with my raw tissues without warning, and I reacted quite horribly.

With a squeal better then any Wilbur was capable of, I jerked violently away from the nurse and the sink. So violently that I would have fallen right onto the floor if Alice didn't get in the way.

She instantly wrapped her arms around me and prevented me from spilling out of the chair. I instinctively clung onto her embrace, which was both firm and gentle like that of a mother's.

The tears came heavier now.

"Bella, I have to clean it, or it will get infected." The elder lady sounded sympathetic.

I didn't want sympathy. I wanted a painkiller.

"I don't care if it gets infected." I stubbornly managed to lie through my sobbing.

A wince painted across my face as the afflicted forearm began to throb angrily.

Alice pet my hair, and soothingly promised me, "It'll feel better once the initial burn dies down, Bella.

_Suck it up, Bella._

I took a few deep, unsteady breaths. I bravely extended my left arm as I instructed Alice, "Distract me."

It was not a question, it was an order, and she picked up on it. I desperately needed something else to keep my mind on.

"I bet you're wondering why I needed an ice pack." Alice started.

I listened attentively.

"Well, I was just in personal finance with Edward and Jasper. Did you know both Edward and I are black belts in Jujutsu? We've been taking the classes together twice a week since we were four."

I was surprised to learn that. I could barely imagine little Alice as a black belt!

My arm was submerged into the water. I started squirming against the pain. Alice's arms tightened around me, and she forced me not to flail again. I made a note to thank her later, because I more then likely would have started to thrash.

Next time you scrape your knee, pour hot water onto it, and you'd understand why.

"Anyway," Alice continued her story, and I tried extremely hard to pay attention. "That class sucks, and the teacher was in the hallway. Jasper randomly announced that Edward would lose in a fight against me, because I'm much faster than he is. Of course, after an argument, we decided to see if he was right."

Hah, this story was headed into somewhere funny, I was sure of it.

"We snuck through the door in the back of the room, which leads to an empty classroom next door, because we needed some space to move around where the expensive computers were not in danger. I was winning, which made Edward competitive, and he kicked me ridiculously hard in my calf. It's bruised."

Alice awkwardly turned her leg to expose a nasty purple bruise about the size of a small orange. It was swollen.

"I hope you got him back." I responded to her.

"Oh, I did. You should see his collarbone." Alice sounded very smug, and there was an evil glint in her eyes.

I laughed a little. The moment was only made better when the nurse announced, "All done, dear."

I actually looked at my arm in surprise. She had bandaged it when I wasn't paying attention. And, listening to Alice both stopped me from acknowledging the pain and crying. A double win.

The bell signaling the end of school rang. The nurse instructed before I left, "Go see your doctor sometime soon, and ask him or her what you should do with your arm. Keep it clean, okay dear?"

I nodded and stood up.

Mike was gone, but Emmett was here. He smiled and extended my clothes forward. "I went and got them for you."

I was currently wearing blood-soaked gym clothes.

"Thanks. If dad sees me like this, he'll have an aneurysm." I took the outfit and wandered into the bathroom across the hall. After changing, I returned to the hallway.

Alice, Esme, and Edward met me there.

"So, Bella. What are you doing on Sunday night?" Alice asked curiously.

"Nothing at night, why?" I promised Carlisle I would be at the hospital with him all weekend if he wanted. I have no intention of changing my mind. But the hospital kicked visitors out after eight, anyway.

"I'm having a big sleep over at my house. Want to come?" Her eyes were glowing with excitement.

How could I say no to that?

"I'll ask dad, but I don't see why not." I answered her. She looked ready to turn into bubbles of happiness when she grinned.

I smirked at Edward. "Can I see your collarbone?"

Alice started laughing, and Edward frowned, sulking. With a dramatic sigh, he tugged the side of his shirt down. A bruise even larger then Alice's was there, and it looked worse, too. Rather then purple it was that really bad greenish-black color.

"What happened to you, Edward?" Esme asked.

I honestly just registered the fact that Esme was here. The Forks world really _was_ small! Who knew Esme was a friend with these two?

"Revenge." He grimaced. Alice laughed harder and started walking towards the parking lot. Esme scampered over to her side, but Edward fell back and walked with me.

"So, I took your advice and asked someone else to the dance." He smiled at me.

Two days ago, Wednesday, he asked if I wanted to go. I carefully explained that I didn't want to be anything but friends with him, and I didn't do the whole 'dance' thing, so he should invite someone other then me.

He had been perfectly cheery with the conversation, which was a relief. Some boys take rejection worse then most girls.

"Really? Who?" I asked him, honestly curious.

I hoped it wasn't Jessica. She was too intent on him. It was creepy.

"Maria Santiago." He smiled.

I almost died. _Her_? She was meaner then Rosalie!

Who was I to pick his dates, though?

"That's great." I lied there. "I really hope you have fun with her." That was the truth.

Alice peered over her shoulder and demanded, "Hurry up, slow pokes. You're falling behind!"

* * *

_A horse is only a horse, if three dogs make a Cerberus._

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	9. Six in Alice's POV

* * *

_**The Project**_

_**Chapter Six**_

_**Alice's POV  
**_

* * *

The bell rang after sixth period, and I felt myself frowning because of it. Trig was over, and now I only had personal finance left to sit through before I had to return home. I sighed.

Home was such a depressing place for me to be. Even when my parents were around, they never paid attention to me. They didn't care what I was doing with my life. Mom and Dad were the only reason I even returned to the house anymore, instead of staying at Esme's place. I tried everything to make them notice me.

Disappear for days at a time. Get dropped off by some random cop who caught me out after curfew, or doing something shifty. Sit on the couch drinking the liquor of the day when I should be at school. Lying on the floor in front of the TV to try and sleep off my pill-induced highs.

Nothing. There was never any emotion or reaction from them at all.

"Alice."

I snapped my head up and looked at Marcus, finding it easy to smile when I saw him. Marcus has always been here for me. Maybe not in the way I would have asked for, and maybe not to the degree I needed, but at least he was around. It was more than I could say for two certain people in my life.

Marcus nodded over his shoulder. "Jasper's waiting for you, come on."

I collected my math stuff and trudged after him, meeting up with Jasper in the hall. He always walked me to our next class, even if I wandered the wrong direction to do something else first. Being late had never bothered him before. Upon the rare occasion, he'd just skip final period with me to go and do something else.

He had always put up with too much from me. More than he deserved to have been inflicted with.

"Jasper!" I chirped as soon as we were headed down the hall. "Are we still going to the dance tomorrow?"

Rose and I had been trying to get him to attend at least one during his high school career. It was tradition that we all went with someone who we were not official with. I had received news that Esme was going with Tyler Crowley- asked today at lunch.

Marcus refused to go. He was a killjoy.

Alec was going with Tanya. Rosalie was going with Caius. Edward was going with Maria.

Jane was going with Peter, and I pounced at Jasper the instant I learned he planned to stay home again.

"Do I have a choice?" He asked hopelessly. He already knew the answer to this question. It was no.

I smiled and threw my arms around him, setting my head against his shoulder. "Don't be like that, Jasper. You need a social life. You're too young to be a hermit."

With a vocalization I would classify as a snarl- not a growl, an actual snarl, he shook me off of him. His arms crossed defensively, and his body tensed. He said nothing.

He knew just as well as I did that he didn't need to speak. He didn't like any person touching him, and he never had. It only made him more uncomfortable if it was me.

I frowned, but I was too afraid to say anything to him. It had been fourteen months since we had our painful fall out. It had only been eight months since we started talking again. I liked Jasper in my life. I didn't want to tear the fragile web of companionship we had both struggled so hard to spin between us.

The tense silence between us was broken just before we entered the classroom. Jasper quietly informed me, "I'll pick you up at five tomorrow."

I smiled and followed him to the back of the room, where our computers were. Edward was already in his spot at the end of the row. Jasper sat beside him, and I sat beside Jasper.

Edward and I made small talk from around Jasper for the majority of the period. It was only once Mr. Hollister was in the hall that Jasper finally spoke.

"If you two got into a fight, Alice would win." He stated with the utmost confidence.

Edward snorted, sounding offended. "She would not."

I know it was silly, because we all knew that I would, but I felt myself spark with hostility at how arrogant he sounded. I glared at Edward, "And what makes you think so?"

"I'm bigger than you." He answered simply.

I narrowed my eyes, almost positive that the fire of challenge was blazing in them. "I'm a higher don than you."

Edward quit the classes when he was thirteen and achieved his black belt.

I had turned to the classes as a sort of outlet after... certain events happened. I didn't stop for good until my suicide attempt back in spring of 2002.

I didn't like to think about that. At all. Just to make it simple, I stopped doing a lot of things after that day.

Anyway, I was two dons higher than Edward was. In more commonly known English, I was a third degree black belt. That meant I knew more than Edward ever would, assuming he wouldn't take classes back up.

My cousin shrugged. "You would still lose."

Jasper smirked at me. "Sounds like a challenge, Alice."

I got up and glared at Edward. "I accept!"

Before any minds could be changed, Jasper swept us into the small storage room that the door six feet to the left of our computers led to. He perched on the windowsill and watched silently.

I barely had time to blink before Edward came at me. It was your typical shin-to-ribs kick. He was all offense; he never took the time to become practiced at defense. Another reason I was ahead of him.

I caught his leg before it cracked into my ribs and jerked it to the left. He flailed as he became unbalanced and fell onto his back. I smirked, one point for Alice.

Growling, he sprang onto his feet. He shadowed forward, his elbow flying towards me. I feigned to the left and sent my knee into his gut. He groaned, falling onto his knees.

My eyes sparkled. "Come on, Edward! You've really lost your touch."

Once upon a time he was faster than I was. Then he hit his growth spurt, and it was common logic that us short people moved faster. We had less mass to throw around. Edward was stronger, though. We found out in a wrestling match a few months ago that I was more or less helpless to escape him if he was able to get a good hold on me.

That whole "grab Alice" concept was not an easy feat, however. I was feisty. Just ask Peter. _Hah._

Infuriated by my jibing, probably a little ego-wounded as well, Edward's eyes started to blaze. He lurched forward quite messily in his haste. I easily spun out of the way, but then the pain came.

Funny how the pain always came before you even realized what had happened.

His talus, the part on the top of your foot that connects it to the ankle, struck against my calf with such a force I unwillingly crumpled to the ground. If he had hit the other side of my leg, he probably would have cracked my shinbone.

Fire, such a sharp and hot fire, started to coarse through the afflicted area. I growled, "Edward, you stupid fuck!"

"Come _on_, Alice," he taunted lightly. "Impress me with your higher-don revenge techniques."

I shook the pain off and pulled myself to my feet. With an upset growl, I jumped at him. I grabbed him, and we both went crashing down to the ground, making quite a lot of noise as a chair was knocked over and clattered into a spare desk.  
_  
Sigh. Just like old times._

Edward growled, "No real fighting during a spar!" Rather unkindly, he shoved me off of him. I rolled onto my knees and tackled him again, slamming him into the ground.

"No injury causing hits are allowed, either!" I protested, feeling a flare of violence spark through me. Not the stab-him-in-the-chest sort of violence, but the Alice-wants-to-make-Edward-suffer-too sort of violence. My leg was starting to ache in a very, very painful way.

I was rolled to the side, and I instantly sprang to my feet. Edward started to stand, too. Smirking deviously, I shot my leg towards him with incredible force. He wailed as it connected with his collarbone and sent him flying backwards into a wall.

For several stunned seconds, he just sat there. After that, he moved stiffly and groaned, "You little bitch, you probably just fractured it!"

Jasper asked calmly, "Did you hear it crack?"

His eyes stinging with tears, Edward shook his head. Jasper smiled cheerfully, "Then she didn't fracture it."

Never having been one for crying, Edward just clenched his jaw and gingerly rubbed his shoulder.

"Brandon, Masen, Whitlock!"

All three of us jumped when the teacher growled at us. He was standing in the doorway, shaking his head. "Again? Can you lot ever stay out of trouble?"

I shook the numbness out of my leg and protested, "I had honor to defend, Mr. Hollister! It was for the pride of my _entire gender_ that this happened!"

Jasper snickered, but Hollister looked very, very far from amused. Well, damn.

"_One more time_, and I am calling your parents. All three of you." He glared directly at Jasper, who was the not-so-secret root of most of the trouble Edward and I caused.

Edward grimaced, and Jasper got notably paler. I attempted to distract the teacher from the warpath by asking innocently, "Can I go to the nurse for an ice pack? I think my calf is broken."

He couldn't help but smile, and he quite condescendingly pointed out, "You can't break muscle, dear."  
_  
Fell for it, stupid ass._

I limped over to him, flaring my cuteness level. It sometimes (frequently) worked in my favor that I was so small and adorable. "Oh, really?"

He chuckled, "I'll go write you a pass, Alice."

He exited the little room, and I rolled my eyes. Edward walked over to me and snorted, " Naive idiot."

Jasper came to lurk beside us. "She's just good at it. She always has been deceiving."

It went unnoticed by Edward, but I flinched when he spoke. It didn't take a rocket scientist to hear the severe bitterness in his tone. It just took someone who knew him on a deeper emotional level than Edward did.

I was the kid's cousin, and I still couldn't figure out how these two were still friends.

I glanced sadly over my shoulder. Why couldn't he let it go? Jasper just raised his eyebrows and smiled, looking like the picture of innocence. The prick played dirty.

I sighed, deciding to worry about him later, and flounced down to the nurse's office. She was no stranger to my showing up with random injuries, so she just gave me my ice and sat me in a chair in the corner so I was not in her way.

I jumped when Mike Newton came stumbling in, tripping on a chair and almost toppling onto my lap. He blurted, "Bella Swan. She's coming. She got hurt in gym."

_Oh no! Bella!_

Emmett came into the room a second later. Bella was blubbering, and she had blood all over her shirt. Her arm was wounded pretty badly.

I poked my head around Emmett's bulk and gasped, "Bella! Are you okay? How bad is it?"

Looking curious, Bella asked me a question rather than answer. "Are you sick?"

I pushed Mike to the side, and nudged Emmett out of the way, so I could go stand with her. I answered, "No, I needed an ice pack."

The nurse set Bella's arm under the faucet in the sink, and Bella panicked. She squealed in pain and ripped herself away from the nurse, jerking violently towards the end of the chair. I shot forward and grabbed her, hugging her close to me to prevent her from spilling onto the floor.

She hugged me back and started to sob. I felt my heart breaking a little bit.

The nurse, her voice gentle and a little sad, pointed out, "Bella, I have to clean it, or it will get infected."

"I don't care if it gets infected." She protested, sounding defiant even though she winced.

I kept one arm wrapped around her shoulders, and I gently stroked her hair with my free hand. I tried to sound confident and reassuring at the same time when I spoke, "It'll feel better once the initial burn dies down, Bella."

After forcing some ragged breaths into her lungs, she demanded, "Distract me."

I decided it would be in my best interests to ramble. I held a better conversation not thinking than I did trying to recite something, anyway. "I bet you're wondering why I needed an ice pack."

"Well, I was just in personal finance with Edward and Jasper." I started, realizing that she wouldn't know what I meant if I told her we had been sparring. "Did you know both Edward and I are black belts in Jujutsu? We've been taking classes together twice a week since we were four."

The nurse used my story telling to her advantage and guided Bella's shredded arm back under the water. Bella instinctively tried to wiggle away again. I iron-gripped her and held her still. She would not thank anyone later if her arm got infected and she needed to get it treated at a hospital every day.

"Anyway," I started talking again in an attempt to keep her distracted. "That class sucks, and the teacher was in the hallway. Jasper randomly announced that Edward would lose in a fight against me, because I'm much faster than he is." Well, okay, he had not added that part. _I_ knew it was the truth, though. I had proved it. "Of course, after an argument, we decided to see if he was right."

It was a rare occasion when the boy was wrong. He knew it, too, and constantly sparked hostility between people. He'd been doing it for years. Jasper got bored when he was not playing with other people. The poor kid had to do _something_ all day.

"We snuck through the door in the back of the room, which leads to an empty classroom next door, because we needed some space to move around where the expensive computers were not in danger. I was winning, which made Edward competitive, and he kicked me ridiculously hard in my calf. It's bruised." I rambled, glad to note that her semi-hysterical crying had calmed down to simple watering eyes.

Bella actually engaged in the conversation. "I hope you got him back."

I beamed, quite happy with myself. "Oh, I did. You should see his collarbone."

Bella laughed weakly.

"All done, dear." The nurse broke into the conversation as she added the last piece of tape to Bella's bandage.

Bella glanced at her arm in shock, and then the bell rang. I let go of Bella, distracted when Emmett flounced into the office with a pile of girls clothes. It was the same outfit Bella had on in class.

Bella wandered over to us. Emmett shoved the pile at her. "I went and got them for you."

I was sure she needed him to point that out. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. _What_ did Rose see in this guy? She didn't even like beefcakes- she wanted someone she could hit back.

Bella smiled and took the articles from him. "Thanks. If dad sees me like this, he'll have an aneurysm."

She crossed the hall and entered the bathrooms. I exited the nurse's office and was pounced on by Edward and Esme.

Edward looked anxious. "You didn't come back to class. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. I was with Bella." I answered him, smiling at Esme.

Edward nodded once. "Jasper wanted me to tell you he's crashing at your house tomorrow after the dance."

I shrugged, and we mulled about in silence until Bella came out. I apparated at her side and asked, "So, Bella. What are you doing on Sunday night?"

I was surprised with myself. I was actually able to contain my excitement over the idea of her attending the sleep over. Really, it was just an over-night party. Alec said he'd try to get Marcus and Tanya to stay sober. Peter already promised me he wouldn't drink and told me not to worry about Caius.

I didn't worry too much about Marcus. It was rare that something upset him so much he'd drink himself into a fog. Not only did he have a high tolerance to liquor, he was pretty hard-hearted. He didn't let much bother him anymore.

"Nothing at night, why?" Bella answered me.

"I'm having a big sleep over at my house. Want to come?" She had better want to come! Damn it, I would hunt her down and drag her there if I had to.

"I'll ask dad, but I don't see why not."

"Can I see your collarbone?" Bella asked Edward suddenly. My grin broke into laughter, and I waited in amusement to see her reaction to him.

Sighing dramatically, he exposed the wound. I was quite pleased to see that it was far worse than my own. I _might_ have cracked the bone. He should probably get an X-Ray if it hurt longer than three days.

"What happened to you, Edward?" Esme asked, sounding pretty stunned to see him hurt. She was rather protective of him, even if people didn't really notice it.

He grimaced. "Revenge."  
_  
"Impress me with your higher-don revenge techniques."_

I tried not to bust a side with my cackling as I headed towards the parking lot. Edward was driving us home today, because Marcus was taking Aro to a doctor's appointment. Esme appeared at my side, walking with me silently as I took a few seconds to control my giggling.

When I had calmed down enough, I asked Esme, "Tyler Crowley, huh?"

I raised an eyebrow questioningly, and she blushed. She shrugged. "Well, yeah. He asked me."

"I would have never pegged him as the type to like the shy girls." I mused aloud.

Esme fretted, "You don't think he thinks this means anything for us, do you?"

"Probably, the boy's an idiot." I answered seriously.

"I hope Marcus doesn't hurt him. He's nice." Esme commented lightly. I couldn't ease _that_ fear. Nobody but Marcus ever knew what Marcus was going to do. He was a bit bi-polar when he wanted to be. Particularly when it came to Esme.

I only knew that we had reached the door, and Edward and Bella were still halfway down the hall. I glanced over my shoulder and urged, "Hurry up, slow pokes. You're falling behind!"

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**Teaser for c7:** "Carlisle, are you afraid of your dad?" I asked him gently. I was really hoping he said no, but I was suddenly scared his answer was a yes.

_All reviewers who say more than "update soon" or "great chapter" will get an extended teaser!_

_Happy Mother's Day to all moms!_

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	10. Chapter 7: Accents Are My Weakness

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Saturday morning dad dropped me off at the hospital an hour earlier then the time I was supposed to be here. It was nine, and I was waiting in the walk-in to be seen by Dr. Gerandy. He inspected my arm, gave me an ointment for it, and a package of large adhesive pads to keep it wrapped in until the wound closed.

At ten, when I was supposed to meet Carlisle, I found room 213 and wandered inside. It was just as I expected it to be. Just what I had been mentally preparing myself to see.

A woman was in the hospital bed. I assumed rightfully that it was Mrs. Cullen. She was pale like Carlisle, but her hair was a little darker then his. She was asleep.

Carlisle was nestled on the two-seater in front of the window, his nose behind a book.

Father Cullen was in the armchair, staring blankly out the window. I cleared my throat a little for attention rather then just announcing my arrival.

Both sets of hazel eyes glanced at me. Carlisle smiled and shoved the book aside.

"This is Bella Swan." Carlisle introduced me quietly.

I smiled and crossed the room, sitting beside Carlisle. His dad forced a small smile. "So, you're Bella. It's very nice to meet you."

"It's nice to meet you too, sir." I responded to his greeting.

"It was very kind of you to befriend Carlisle, Bella. He wasn't looking forward to school; I was worried about what he would say after his first day." He frowned slightly. I was unable to tell what motivated the frown.

"Carlisle is a very nice person. It's easy to be friends with him." I smiled at Carlisle. He lowered his eyes and remained silent.

That surprised me.

"I have to get going, actually. Bella, I would love for you to come over to the house sometime." Father Cullen announced.

"Sure." Was the lame answer I gave him. What was I going to do, tell him that I didn't want to? Not that I didn't want to, of course. I'd have no problem with it.

"Carlisle." The Father's voice was a little sharp all of a sudden. "Do try to be on time for dinner tonight."

"Yes, sir," he answered without making eye contact.

I watched the tall man exit the room. Carlisle's body instantly relaxed, and he sat a little taller. He looked more like the kid I knew from school. The friendly and easygoing child I had grown used to.

I didn't even recognize the kid from a second ago. He had been three inches small.

"So Bella, thanks for coming today." He finally smiled, and his bright eyes shined a little bit.

I wasn't going to let him off the hook that easily. I was much too suspicious, and interested, in what just happened between the two of them.

"Carlisle, are you afraid of your dad?" I asked him gently. I was really hoping he said no, but I was suddenly scared his answer was a yes.

He flinched at my question, which made my heart began to drum madly. Even if he denies it, that was clearly a yes.

"Why do you ask?" His voice was only slightly stronger then a whisper. I'd say it was a mumble, but the words were too clear for mumbling.

"Because of that." I frowned. "You were totally retreated when he was in the room, and now you're hesitant to talk about him."

"I am not afraid of my dad." He crossed his arms and jutted his chin.

He became defensive.

He was trying to put on a strong front to deter me.

That was _definitely_ a yes.

I scooted a little closer, completely ignoring his body language. "Carlisle, does he hurt you?"

The very idea made my eyes widen. If he said yes, I was getting him help. I didn't care how much he'd beg me not to, I was going to tell my dad. It was not okay for people to hurt their kids- ever. Maybe it was in London, but they were in America now.

He sighed when I made it obvious he could not lie to me. His head lowered again, and he avoided eye contact with me. "Can we not talk about this, please?"

I was getting a little bit afraid of this conversation. I had to keep prying though. It might be necessary.

I know it was completely terrible of me, but I did the only thing I was almost positive would make him answer me.

"Carlisle, answer me now!" I snapped at him. My voice was rather loud, and my tone was anything but happy.

I suddenly felt _very_ bad about doing that to him.

He recoiled away from me and blurted, "He hits me sometimes, but he's never mean about it. He mostly yells, anyway. I never get bruises or anything. I try not to do anything to set him off."

I frowned at his answer.

"Really, it's only sometimes. He's always stressed out from trying to juggle work and visiting mom." His eyes were innocent. "He always feels really bad after he does it. He's not a bad person."

I wanted to fight back, but he won the argument. I could hear it in his voice, he was absolutely positive he was not being abused by his dad. I trusted that I could trust his judgment. Besides, if it seemed to get worse I could just talk to dad about it.

"So, does she wake up?" I asked to divert the conversation onto a less tense subject.

Carlisle relaxed even further, which pleased me. He seemed totally at ease around me. I'd like to think I was earning his trust.

In a completely unconventional and awkward way, but at least we were getting there.

"She's in a drug induced sleep right now. She hurts, so they don't like it when she's awake all the time." Carlisle turned his attention to the woman on the bed.

"Why do they do that?" I asked him. Surely she needed to be awake and talking to the doctors? She needed to be kept updated on her health!

"Because it's all they can do now." He whispered.

I instantly understood. She was dying this time. She wasn't going to bounce back from this. That's why Carlisle was so ready to agree to let me come here with him. I doubt he wanted to be alone if she happened to go this weekend.

Without thinking I wrapped my arms around him, hugging him in a tight and supportive embrace.

Without thinking he leaned into it and set his head on my shoulder.

-----------------------

I spent the entire next day at the hospital again. We made small talk most of the time. I told him about how I hurt my arm, he told some stories about London. In return, I told some about Phoenix.

I began to notice something about his stories. Something _missing_ in his stories.

I brought it to attention in a very evasive and non-offensive manner. "You're not a very outgoing person, are you?"

I had not heard a single name come out of him that wasn't a teacher or his parents. I didn't care about family, I was hinting about friends.

Hadn't he had any?

"Catholic boys are mean." Was the answer he gave me. He had mentioned he went to a catholic school all his life.

"So, you didn't like any of them?" I asked.

After a somber silence, he admitted, "They didn't like me. I'm not good at anything. Why would they?"

"People can't be good at nothing." I pointed out.

"I can." He shrugged.

He was seriously depressing me. The kid had no friends and a low opinion of himself.

That boy needed a self-esteem boost.

"You're good at charming the girls." I smiled shyly at him.

He blinked in surprise and sat up from where he was lying on the two-seater.

"I'm what?" He asked, sounding startled.

I rolled my eyes. "Honestly! You _are_ blind, I'll give you that one."

We both chuckled a little. I decided to make it clear to him. "You were hiding from the girls in the school on the first day of school, remember? It's not because the female population of Forks is friendly."

Carlisle grinned a little, and looked to be considering the idea.

"What's charming about me, Bella?" He asked suddenly.

I felt my face heat up. It was probably a very dark pink right now.

I tried to keep it a little teasing, just for fun. "Oh, I don't know. Maybe it's that. The way you act so innocently out of the loop."

Carlisle smirked and walked across the room, sitting on the arm of the chair I was in. Leaning in eagerly close, he demanded, "Be serious!"

I met his eye and made a list. "Maybe it's your hair, which looks like it's glowing when the sun hits it. Maybe it's the way your pretty eyes practically smolder when you concentrate on something."

I seriously wanted to shut up. I was sounding like some crazy stalker! It's not my fault I'm too observant for anyone's good.

Carlisle smiled. "Anything else, Bella?"

I tried to ease the sudden tension I was feeling with a lighthearted comment. "It could be how nice you are, not every girl likes the bad boys. However, I'm willing to bet money that it's that sexy accent."

**…..**

_Did I just say that out loud!?!_

I felt my face ignite with mortification.

His smile just broadened. "Do you know why Eric and Tyler are always staring at you?"

Were they always staring at me?

I shrugged, still too embarrassed with my loose tongue to speak again.

"Well, it _could_ be your adorable shyness or your obliviousness to boys." He timidly reached out and stroked my hot cheek.

"But I would be willing to bet it's just you, because everything about you is wonderful."

I couldn't help but smile at him. Every girl loves to hear that sort of thing.

Before I knew what was happening, his soft lips brushed against my own. I reacted naturally and leaned into it rather than pull away.

In a rare burst of confidence, Carlisle's hands gently touched my shoulders, and he deepened the kiss so it wasn't so feather-light anymore. My lips parted slightly, and his mouth sucked against mine for a few seconds before we drifted apart.

He was blushing almost as darkly as I was, and he ducked his head a little. He offered no words of apology, however.

I was glad, because that was an amazing first kiss.

Well, I could _assume_ it was. Being my first, I wasn't much of a judge.

However, going off of the way my heart fluttered and my skin tingled with fuzzy warmth, I was going to go ahead and stand behind the word 'amazing'.

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_The grass is only green is the sky is not purple._

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	11. Seven in Carlisle's POV

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The Project

Chapter Seven

Carlisle's POV

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The instant we arrived, I had nestled myself into my usual spot. Under the window on the scratchy love seat so I could have enough light to read whatever book I happened to be reading at the time. I found that I was quite interested in this one. So much so that I didn't even notice Bella had walked in until she drew attention to herself.

I felt myself brighten when I saw her, and I set my book on the end table by the arm of the chair. I flickered my eyes to my dad and announced, "This is Bella Swan."

Bella smiled, too, and came to sit beside me. Just having someone here made me feel a little more relaxed. Mom was getting worse, the doctors told us last week. Dad has been extra testy ever since. I just didn't like being alone with him anymore.

Dad smiled, trying to be friendly despite the pain I knew he was feeling. "So, you're Bella. It's very nice to meet you."

"It's nice to meet you, too, sir." she answered him instantly. She communicated with him better than I did. Though, that didn't really surprise me.

"It was very kind of you to befriend Carlisle, Bella. He wasn't looking forward to school; I was worried about what he would say after his first day." Dad answered, and then he frowned. I felt my heart clench when I saw him frown.

The two of us had gotten into many heated, occasionally violent, arguments over my lack of a social life. When I was little, mom just said I was shy. Then she got sick, and I got mean, which scared off all of the other kids. The friendly ones, at least.

When we moved to Forks over the summer, I met Emmett. It proved my father's point that I was able to make friends if I tried to. He was simply ecstatic to learn that I had found a second friend once the year started.

"Carlisle is a very nice person. It's easy to be friends with him." Bella answered, turning her head to smile at me. I just looked down nervously. It was basic instinct after this long.

"I have to get going, actually." Dad announced, and I mentally cheered. "Bella, I would love for you to come over to the house sometime."

"Sure." She answered simply.

If anyone thought I was actually inviting her over so she could watch me cautiously slink around my house all day, they were sadly confused.

"Carlisle." I jumped slightly when my dad's sharp voice addressed me. "Do try to be on time for dinner tonight."

"Yes, sir," I answered mechanically, avoiding his eyes. It was probably an empty agreement. When was I last on time for anything that involved the two of us doing something together? A month ago, at least. It was easy to lose track of the hour in this place.

As soon as we were alone, I smiled at my friend, happy she was here. Being alone sucked. "So Bella, thanks for coming today."

Her big, brown eyes shined with concern, and she asked me in a soft voice, "Carlisle, are you afraid of your dad?"

_Flinch._

Well, not at all the conversation I was expecting to have! I hated this question. A lot.

"Why do you ask?" I managed to ask her through my reluctance, knowing that ignoring her would probably give off the wrong impression.

She frowned at me. "Because of that. You were totally retreated when he was in the room, and now you're hesitant to talk about him."

"I am not afraid of my dad." I answered instantly, crossing my arms in a small spurt of aggression. It was sort of true, too.

Could I sit in the same room with him and have a relaxed conversation, able to think about him as just another person? Yes. Did I grow wary when he raised his voice or lingered too close to me for too long? Yes. I suppose you'd have to answer that question based on which half of the spectrum you were looking at.

Bella scooted closer to me and pressured. "Carlisle, does he hurt you?"

Damn my hard-wired upbringing and the phrase, _Thou shalt not lie_. It made my life so difficult sometimes that I genuinely cared about trying to be a good person.

I sighed, looking away from her and her too-worried eyes. "Can we not talk about this, please?"

"Carlisle," she demanded, and I felt my body jolt with fear at her impatient, firm tone. "Answer me now!"

I shied away from her, my brain censors forcing me to bend to her will. It wasn't even possible for me not to do what I was told anymore. "He hits me sometimes, but he's never mean about it. He mostly yells, anyway. I never get bruises or anything. I try not to do anything to set him off."

She frowned, and I almost panicked. She didn't believe me. That was not good. The last thing I needed was her dad poking himself into my life and making things more stressful then usual.

I felt a little defiant, too. I felt some deeply buried instinct churn inside of my heart, willing me to protect my father. He was a good person. I'd known kids who constantly came to school with bruises and black eyes. Those "I ran into a door" types that were afraid of their own shadow. I was not one of those kids!

I widened my eyes, trying to look as confident as I felt. "Really, it's only sometimes. He's always stressed out from trying to juggle work and visiting mom. He always feels really bad after he does it. He's not a bad person."

Did bad people hug you and say they were sorry? Did bad people devote their lives to helping other people? Did they cry at night because sometime soon they would be widowed?

Not any of the ones I had encountered.

After a few tense seconds, she looked away and asked, "So, does she wake up?"

I felt my body melt into the chair. I was glad she trusted my confidence. That was what made her such a great friend; she was willing to look beyond her own eyes. I needed a person like that.

My own eyes trailed onto my mom. "She's in a drug induced sleep right now. She hurts, so they don't like it when she's awake all the time."

"Why do they do that?" she asked innocently.

My heart started to ache with pains I had long tried to ease. "Because it's all they can do now."

So many doctors had tried so very many things. Pills. Patches. Treatments. Simple bed rest. This and that, and everything in between.

Pointless. All of it. She still hurt, and she was still clinging to life.

That was why I stayed here all the time. I wanted to be around... when it happened. I didn't want my dad to have to find me and tell me. I just wanted to know when she was going, and hoped it would be peaceful.

It shouldn't be too long now. She had thirty days at most, was what they told us.

At least she would be asleep.

Bella wrapped me in her arms, squeezing tightly. It was her silent way of letting me know she was here for me, if I needed her. I closed my eyes and let myself relax against her, setting my head against her shoulder.

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I was glad for the distraction when Bella decided to spend the next day with me.

I had asked her why her arm was bandaged, and we got to story swapping. I talked about London, and she talked about Phoenix. Simple things like what we liked to do.

I maintained a garden with my mother or read my father's books. She would listen to music in her room or try to convince her own mother not to do something too silly. We both had teachers that we hated and for quite drastically different reasons.

That was just because American teachers could not hit you. British nuns could. I didn't care how nice of a person I considered myself, that meant instant-dislike for any normal person.

I was tempted to ask why she left her mom for Forks, but I didn't think it would have been very appropriate of me to pry like that.

"You're not a very outgoing person, are you?" Bella asked casually.

I smiled sadly to myself. I should have figured she'd have been reading between the lines. It was apparently something she was good at.

I answered wryly, amused at my dry humor, "Catholic boys are mean." She could probably never guess that I, myself, had been categorized as the mean sort of person once upon a time. I tried quite hard to avoid that life style again. Hurting other people only made me feel worse in the long run.

"So, you didn't like any of them?" She asked.

Oh, I had liked some. The ones that were smart enough to leave me alone.

The ones that didn't tease me for preferring to read rather than play sports, because I was terrible at sports.

The ones that didn't provoke me into hitting them- in turn getting me into trouble with both the school _and_ my dad- just because they thought it would be funny to mess with the quiet kid.

The ones who understood that I spent a good two hours a day "playing with daisies" because I wanted to spend time with my ailing mother, not because I was a sissy.

I loved _those_ kids.

"They didn't like me." I answered finally. I felt a surge of bitterness and added, "I'm not good at anything. Why would they?"

Bella argued. "People can't be good at nothing."

I shrugged, not really caring about what the simple truth happened to be. "I can."

I glanced at her, to see that she was smiling. She looked a little timid. "You're good at charming the girls."

Charming... girls? I blinked in surprise. Really?

"I'm what?" I asked, startled by this declaration.

She rolled her eyes good-naturedly. "Honestly! You are blind, I'll give you that one."

I couldn't help myself from chuckling with her. She elaborated, "You were hiding from the girls in the school on the first day of school, remember? It's not because the female population of Forks is friendly."

Could have fooled me. Then again, she did make a point. Back in London, rumor had it American girls were almost as vicious as German ones. (As if that was possible.) I had yet to meet one I did not like.

I sat up and grinned. "What's charming about me, Bella?"

If she had noticed it, that means she had thought about it. Things just worked that way. It was impossible to make an observation without deducing why you did it.

My suspicion was confirmed when she blushed. "Oh, I don't know. Maybe it's that. The way you act so innocently out of the loop."

I smirked, crossing the room and perching on the arm of her chair. I leaned closer to her, giving us about a half of a foot distance. "Be serious!"

Perhaps I should have made a female friend a long time ago. Who better a source to all things girls?

"Maybe it's your hair, which looks like it's glowing when the sun hits it." She started her list. I found myself subconsciously trying to think of that mental image. It was not hard; it happened to dad as well.

"Maybe it's the way your pretty eyes practically smolder when you concentrate on something." She added a second later.

So she paid close enough attention to me to know if my eyes smolder when I was concentrated? I smiled and asked, more teasing now than serious, "Anything else, Bella?"

She tossed out, "It could be how nice you are, not every girl likes the bad boys."

Lie. They all did. That was one thing I did learn while I lived in London. Even if they didn't realize it, and even if they preferred the good-kid types, some deep part of every woman lusted after danger. It was like a natural instinct or something.

I could be blind sometimes, but I wasn't always.

"However," she continued, "I'm willing to bet money that it's that sexy accent."

And then there was silence.

That sexy accent, huh? That was what it was? The ladies of Forks were attracted to the foreign way I spoke? I suppose that was good on my part, then, because it would be rather difficult to speak any other way.

Her face stained a dark scarlet, but I just smiled wider. "Do you know why Eric and Tyler are always staring at you?"

Oh, they stared all right. Some days, at lunch, I felt myself scorch with unwarranted jealousy because of it. Bella was not mine to feel territorial over, but I did anyway. Could I help it?

Bella shrugged. I teased, "Well, it could be your adorable shyness or your obliviousness to boys."

I tried to be bold as I reached towards her, the back of my hand gently brushing her hot right cheek. If she weren't adorably shy, she wouldn't have been embarrassed by that comment.

I smiled gently. "But I would be willing to bet it's just you, because everything about you is wonderful."

She smiled back. She was, really and truly, a wonderful person. She was observant and friendly. She was nice, and gentle, and supportive. She worried about her friends, and she cared about them.

Before I had time to think, I leaned forward and timidly brushed my mouth against hers. I felt myself do something it rarely did when her lips applied more pressure to the connection; blaze with confidence.

I didn't want her to feel overwhelmed or trapped, so I set my hands very lightly on her shoulders and opened my mouth a little, shoving it against hers.

In turn, her own lips parted and after a long few seconds, the little lip-dance had ended.

I felt my own face flush, and I looked at my lap, feeling more than just slightly embarrassed by my forward behavior.

Embarrassed, but not at all sorry. My body was jolting with little tingles of life, and judging by the smile so was Bella's. It was interesting to learn that such a simple gesture could make a person feel so alive, and so happy.

It was my first kiss, and one I would never forget.

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**Teaser for c8:** "What if I want to cause trouble, how are you going to stop me?" I challenged him. The glare-off we were having almost made the air crackle.

_All reviewers who say more than "update soon" or "great chapter" will get an extended teaser!

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	12. Chapter 8: Dangerous New Friends

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I ate dinner at the hospital with Carlisle, and then dad picked me up.

Alice had called him, apparently, and told him to make sure I didn't worry about bringing anything. She claimed all of my needs were covered.

So, he dropped me off at her address, and then said he'd pick me up here tomorrow whenever I called him. School was closed for a teacher's in-service, so it's not like I had any place to be.

The door opened just before I reached it, and Alice grinned at me. I felt my eyes widen in surprise.

She was wearing white cargo pants and a dark purple shirt.

In the 16 days I have known her, I never once saw her in a shirt that was not at least 93% black. Shortly after I met her I asked why, and said it's because wearing the same dark color as her hair made her eyes stand out more, if that was even possible.

"You look nice, Alice." I honestly commented.

"Thanks!" She swept me inside, and then closed the door.

I had to take a long moment to look around in my effort to see who was all here.

In one corner of the room were the bitch squad, Rosalie and her two minions. However, they were not alone today. Rosalie was sitting in Emmett's lap, and he was playing with her hair, while she talked to Jane.

Jasper and Edward were there, too. Jasper was sitting quietly by Jane, listening to whatever his sister was saying.

Edward and Maria were practically sucking each other's faces off. I blinked in surprise and commented to Alice, "I guess the dance went well for everyone?"

"I didn't go to it, don't ask me." She shrugged.

"_You_ didn't go?" I asked in surprise.

I jumped a half a foot when Esme unexpectedly appeared and announced, "She was setting everything up for tonight. The boys are all sleeping in the den downstairs."

It took a long few seconds for those words to sink in. Boys, downstairs, _sleeping_?

"Your parents don't care that there's guys spending the night with a bunch of girls?" I asked, dumb with horror.

Renee wouldn't even be okay with that, and Charlie would have a record breaking coronary.

I watched in fascination as Alice's eyes grew very distant. She was looking right at me, but she definitely didn't see _me_.

"They wouldn't care even if they did know," was the very sullen answer she gave me.

She snatched my hand suddenly and shook her head the slightest bit. "Come on, I'll show you upstairs."

I was dragged along, and like usual, Esme followed behind us. Now that I realized she did it, I was getting a little irritated with Esme. Did she ever make her own decisions?

How was someone like her possibly friends with such a strong girl like Alice, I would never understand.

Alice's house was about the same size as my own, which was rather large. Upstairs consisted entirely of sleeping space. There was one bathroom, but then four separate bedrooms. She gestured to each as we stood in the center of the hallway.

"That's my parents' room, this is my room, and these are the guest bedrooms." She explained.

She led us into the small guest room. "I figured, and hope, you two won't mind sharing the bed?" It was queen sized, certainly big enough for two smaller-then-average girls.

Alice continued after a slight pause, "Rosalie, Kate, and Tanya are going to be in the other one. They'll be here soon. Jane and Maria are going to be in my room."

"Where are you sleeping?" I asked in surprise.

"Oh, I don't expect to do any sleeping." Alice grinned then flounced out of the room. Shocked by just how many levels of suggestive that sounded coming out of her mouth, I glanced at Esme to see her reaction.

She just shrugged and headed back downstairs. I followed her closely, and into the kitchen where Alice awaited us.

"I ordered like forty pizzas, so I hope everyone is hungry." Alice said.

There were actually thirteen pizza boxes piled onto her table.

"Emmett could eat two of these himself." A male's voice from behind teased.

Two seconds later, Jasper slithered over to Alice. "Your… _friends_ are at the door. I didn't let them in yet, we weren't sure if they were really invited or not."

"Which friends?" Alice asked cheerfully.

Jasper's face hardened. "The ones that live downtown."

I watched Alice's smile twist into a scowl, and she snarled, "You idiot!" She stomped off muttering something about 'impatient' and 'waiting'.

"Was Marcus out there, Jasper?" Esme asked hopefully. He nodded, and she danced out of the room.

Jasper glared at me all of the sudden. I could almost feel his hostility.

"What?" I asked shakily.

"I'm not in the mood to be saving your ass from Rosalie tonight, Bella, so try not to piss her off for once." He snapped. "You're idiot aggression towards her is only going to add extra stress, so do try to control yourself."

My initial reaction was shock. His outburst was both completely unprovoked and startlingly fierce.

My aftermath reaction was not at all willing to play along.

"What if I want to cause trouble, how are you going to stop me?" I challenged him. The glare-off we were having almost made the air crackle.

After a silent deliberation, Jasper progressed on me. I instinctively took a few steps away from him until I was backed into the wall.

"Bella." His voice was very different this time. Not unhappy, but worried. "Look, Alec already had enough trouble making sure Alice's _idiot_ boyfriend and his _idiot_ friends showed up sober. They tend to get a little wild at these things. Just leave Rosalie alone, I can't be in two places at once, and she's not my priority."

I didn't have a single clue about what he just told me. Who was Alec? What idiot friend's of Alice's haven't I met yet?

I nodded deftly, however. Jasper relaxed and turned away from me. He carried a stack of pizza boxes into the living room. I followed him back into the living room. Seven newcomers were spread around the place, and music had been turned on fairly loud.

The whole little pack of eight that was on the right side of the room seemed to revolve around one guy in particular.

He was sitting on the love-seat with Esme snuggled against him. His arm was around her, but he didn't seem to notice her presence. His hair was thick and black. His eyes were also gray. I realized he had to have been some relative of Alice's.

Alice was with two other boys. One looked startling similar to Jane. The other had hair even lighter than Carlisle's.

The rest of the party was people I had never seen before. There was a shorter and slightly bulkier version of Esme's squeeze toy. With him were a longer haired, silver haired, male and two blonde females.

Alice gestured me over, and I stiffly crossed the room. She smiled then as she introduced me to everyone. She began with the one she was hanging onto, and then the one I could assume was Jane's brother.

"This is Peter and Alec." She nodded towards Esme, "That's Marcus."

Marcus ignored me completely and continued to just sit there. I got seriously creepy vibes off of that guy. Maybe it was his leather jacket, or his bloodshot eyes, but he _freaked me the hell out_.

Alice regained my attention when she continued to speak. "That's Marcus' little brother Aro. They're my cousins on my dad's side. Caius is the other boy. The girls are Tanya and Kate. Tanya is the taller one."

After the introductions, the groups shifted a little bit. I found myself in the farthest corner of the big room with Kate, Jane, and Edward. The four of us talked for most of the night. It became pretty obvious I wasn't the only one who didn't want to be around Alice's hard-core looking friends.

Alice was glued to Peter's side all night. Her cousins and Esme were in the general area.

Tanya had instantly joined Rosalie, Emmett, and Maria.

Alec and Jasper kept floating in between groups. They seemed to be trying to keep the peace. I sympathized with them, because during the night several heated arguments broke out among the 'idiot friends' and either Edward or Emmett.

For most of the night, I actually had fun talking to Kate, she was a pretty cool girl. Some of it I spent watching the Brandon boys and their friends.

They seemed dangerous to me, more then anything else.

I was glad for an escape around 1am. Esme was sleeping curled up in Marcus's lap.

I slipped away from the trio I had glued myself to and hesitantly approached Alice's inner circle.

"Hey!" She smiled invitingly. We hadn't seen much of each other tonight.

"Hi. I'm here to drag her upstairs with me." I nodded to Esme.

Marcus tilted his head lower and gently shook Esme awake. She muttered some complaints before blinking into the waking world.

"Hey baby, go up to bed with Bella." Marcus smiled at her.

I was surprised he remembered my name.

Esme leaned over, and the two of them kissed each other. It was more passionate then I expected. When they were finished, Esme stumbled off the love-seat. I bid everyone a goodnight, and then helped her up to the room. She wasn't fully awake.

I helped her under the covers. She slurred a thank you as she instantly began to drift to sleep again.

I heard the front door slam and peeked out the window. Alice dragged Peter into a car, and they drove off.

I felt sick thinking about where they might be going, and why.

I flopped onto the bed, but I was suddenly not very tired.

I listened as in little trickles the other girls began to make their way upstairs.

I turned the light out as soon as the house was mostly quiet.

My mind began to wander in the silent darkness. I wondered if everyone else was asleep. I wondered if Alice was being smarter then she came across tonight. I wondered what dad would think if he knew I was awake at almost two in the morning.

Most of all, I couldn't help but wonder if Carlisle had been thinking about me before he went to bed like I was about him.

* * *

**Teaser for c9:** "Bella, what rock are you bringing in for the project tomorrow?" Jasper asked out of nowhere.

_All reviewers who say more than "update soon" or "great chapter" will get an extended teaser!

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_


	13. Chapter 9: Jasper is the Diorite

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**_AN_**_: This is a repost of the chapter I posted 5 min ago. Not sure why it was being such a whore._

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I was not used to staying up as late as I had. On the weekends, I was always in bed by eleven, because it's when I liked to go to bed.

I woke up a little after noon. Esme was gone, but there was a pile of stuff in her place. Clothes, a hair brush, and a toothbrush and toothpaste. I picked up a note that was on top.

_Bella,_

_Alice had this ready for you and asked me to make sure you get it._

_I'm going with Marcus and Aro back to their house._

_I'll see you at school __on Tuesday__._

_-Esme_

I wandered into the bathroom and got myself looking presentable.

Alice had picked out a very appealing outfit, actually. The shirt was a pretty shade of dark blue, and the pants were black. Both were form fitting and showed off my body. I felt self conscious about that, but I had nothing else to wear, so I just had to suck it up.

I entered the kitchen, surprised to see Jasper was in it. He was sitting Indian-style on top of the counter-top, staring blankly out the window.

My footsteps had roused his interest, though, and he turned his head to look at me. I felt my face heating up as his eyes widened then roved my body quite slowly.

I'm sure I should have been flattered, but I wasn't. I felt sort of awkward. This kind of clothing was not what I was used to wearing. It sort of made me feel like he could see right through it.

Of course, that thought only made me blush even harder.

Two long seconds had passed, and Jasper made eye contact. "You look damn hot in that," he very bluntly announced.

I couldn't help but feel slightly abashed.

Perhaps my earlier observation of him not being an open person was mistaken.

"What do you want for breakfast?" He asked. I had a feeling he knew he had flustered me, and he was trying to remove the awkwardness he had created.

"I can cook for myself." I answered him.

I headed over to the fridge, and he darted in front of me. He grabbed my shoulders and forcibly turned me around.

"What sort of a person would I be if I let you do that?" He purred. I was startled by his actions. He was being very nice, which he had not been once since I met him.

I was marched over to the table and forced down into a chair.

I scowled at him, which made him laugh.

"Do you like fried eggs, Bella? Rose loves them." He puffed a little and boasted, "I can cook a mean pancake, too, if you want some."

"Do what you want." I shrugged. I watched him as he started collecting the ingredients for pancakes.

"Where is everyone?" I asked suddenly. For all the people that had been here, it was eerily quiet in the house.

"We are everyone, except for Edward. He's still asleep." Jasper reported.

I suppose that explains the quiet.

Wait a second!

"Alice isn't back yet?" I asked in shock. It had been ten hours since she left. Why would she be out for so long?

I saw Jasper frown. "No, not yet. Don't remind Edward if he gets up before she is. She hasn't even called yet, and he'll freak out if he knows that."

"Are you worried?" I asked him.

He glanced at me before deciding, "Not for the same reasons as you are."

We were both silent for the rest of the time it took him to stack a zillion of the fried batter circles onto a plate. He set it on the table, then put a plate and a fork in front of me.

I would have had that done already, but I didn't know where anything in this house was. Besides, he'd probably only make me sit down again.

He reminded me of myself, actually. I never let Charlie do anything in the kitchen. He just got in my way.

Once he had set out two glasses of milk and a bottle of syrup, he sat in the chair across from me.

I figured he would make small talk, but he didn't. In fact, he didn't even look at me. His eyes were down and concentrated on his plate. I was too afraid to break the silence. It seemed so natural between us that I couldn't even think of something to say.

He did make a mean pancake. They were fluffy and delicious.

Before he had the chance, I snatched his dishes once he was done and slipped over to the sink. I smirked at him from over my shoulder. "You cook, I clean."

He rolled his eyes, but didn't protest the trade.

"Bella, what rock are you bringing in for the project tomorrow?" Jasper asked out of nowhere.

I was getting used to that.

"It's a chunk of snowflake obsidian. It's very uncommon, even in Arizona." I answered. Smiling to myself I told him, "I was playing in the yard with my mom when I was younger. Eight, I think. We found it buried back there."

I actually wasn't too fond of the rock itself. It was too dark, too depressing, to look at all the time. The random splotches of white made me feel OCD every now and then, too.

I kept it because it was symbolic of my relationship with my mother.

It was unique, and not very easy to find. I had a bond with my mom that few kids can say they had growing up. She was my best friend.

I was the black part of the rock, the base. The core. Mom was the white flecks. She was the random splotches of fun.

"Obsidian isn't really a rock." Jasper pointed out.

I dried my hands and returned to the kitchen table. "I know it's not. It's a natural glass. It's still considered an igneous rock, though."

He nodded, but gave no further comment.

"What are _you _bringing?" I asked him curiously.

"Diorite." He answered.

I was secretly excited to see that tomorrow. The rock in particular was a rather rare one. I could almost assure you he didn't get it in the US.

"How did you come across it?" I asked him. Probably in Europe. Turkey had the largest deposits of diorite. Germany was not far behind. The only place in America that it could be found naturally was in one area in Minnesota.

He frowned. His intense blue eyes seemed to bore into me. I fought the urge to shrink away from him.

"Gregory gave it to me for my eleventh birthday. He got it in Egypt when he was honeymooning there with my mother." He answered quietly.

That surprised me even more. Why would he keep it if he didn't like this guy?

I had to find out. I was like that.

"Do you keep it because it's rare?" I asked him, reaching out for any explanation I could.

"No." He shot that idea down.

After a few moments of silence, I urged, "Well are you going to tell me _why_ you kept it, then?"

My eyebrows raised a little bit as I attentively waited for his decision. I would not have been surprised if he said no.

"Fine." He decided. "I like it because it, too, is not really a rock. It's a compound of three different minerals."

I found myself just staring at him for a while after he finished speaking. I was trying very hard to figure out why that would be the reason for keeping it.

My best plan of action was to try to pretend I was Jasper, and tell myself why I would give the answer he gave me.

Jasper looked perfectly comfortable waiting for me to just sit here and contemplate.

What did I know about the mysterious Jasper Whitlock? He played chess. That makes him a deep thinker. That meant that his answer was more then likely going to be more significant then it seemed on the surface.

He disliked his step-father, but seemed to have a soft spot for his step-sister. That could either mean he did not easily accept authority, or that Rosalie had him wrapped around her vicious little finger.

The last thing I knew about him was that he was constantly trying to confuse the hell out of me. One moment I think I had a good grasp on who he was, and then he does something or says something to throw me off. That could only mean one thing, he was trying to tire me out. He wanted me to get frustrated and give up, because he didn't want to let me get close to him.

I used to do that when I was in middle school. I was absolutely positive it's what he was doing.

So, to make things short and simple, I really didn't know _anything_ about him.

That knowledge was what helped me figure out the rock mystery.

I smiled in sudden confidence. "I know why you like it."

He arched a brow and asked skeptically, "Oh really?"

"You keep it because the rock resembles who you are." I announced. I was quite sure of this fact.

"So, you think that I think I'm boring and fake?" He asked with a playful smile.

"No." Hah, it was my turn to use that word for once. "I think you see yourself like diorite. Complicated and mislabeled. Rough on the outside, but very smooth and appealing when you crack through the outer shell."

Jasper's smile faded quickly, and his shoulders tensed. I watched his gentle eyes grow colder again.

"That's idiotic. It's just a rock." He snapped at me.

I wanted to be upset with him for having another mood-swing moment on me. I couldn't bring myself to be upset, though. He just proved my theory. This was the rough outer shell protecting the soft center.

With that idea firmly on my mind, I knew it would be safest not to push him too far with entertaining the idea.

"Sorry. I give too much thought to everything." I forced a small smile.

He did not relax. He knew I was doing it for his sake, which only seemed to bother him even more.

We both jumped when the basement door slammed shut. Edward had entered the kitchen.

"Hi." He greeted simply.

Jasper nodded once, then whisked out of the room.

"Hi, Edward. How did you sleep?" I asked him.

He shrugged, running a hand through his wild hair to try and flatten it a little. It worked, sort of. Rather then a crazy jungle of bronze, it was now just casual disarray.

"What did you do to Jasper?" he asked suddenly.

I blinked in surprise. "Did I do something?"

Edward nodded. "He looked like he does after he gets in a fight with Rosalie. Anxious. I keep telling him he has anxiety problems, but he refuses to listen to me."

"We were just talking about our Geology project." That was not a lie, either.

Edward shrugged and shuffled over to the fridge, grabbing an apple, then leaning on the wall as he took a bite.

I normally didn't feel uncomfortable being alone with Edward and Jasper. It had happened a few times. I just felt strange about it today. Knowing we were in Alice's house, and knowing I was prodding the wrong nerves of Jasper's, made me feel like some sort of intruder.

Edward knew him well enough to instantly recognize what he was feeling. I hadn't even noticed.

"I think I'm going to call my dad now." I announced.

"Okay. See you in English tomorrow." Edward smiled, then joined Jasper in the living room.

I found a phone and dialed the station's number.

* * *

**Teaser for c10:** I felt like I didn't even know her. Like I only knew the painted façade of happiness she was willing to let me see.

_All reviewers who say more than "update soon" or "great chapter" will get an extended teaser!

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_


	14. Chapter 10: Sad Past and Painful Present

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Alice was not in art the next day.

I waited patiently for her to show up late. A doctor's appointment. She over slept. Her parents' car broke down. Something, anything, would be better then her not being here.

Was she still with that guy? Where could they possibly be? What could they possibly be doing that would take such a long time? It had been more than 24 hours. How long until a missing persons report could be filed? Did her parents know where she was?

My constant worrying was exhausting me. I felt ready to curl up and die from the stress of it by the time art was over and I went to home economics.

I pounced on Esme the instant my butt was in my chair. "Where's Alice?"

My voice was a lot fiercer then I had intended it to be. I felt bad for it, because Esme didn't deserve to be the outlet for my emotions.

She shook it off, though. "She's at her house."

My mind rejoiced for a second. She was home. She was safe. She wasn't who knows where doing who knows what. I sighed in relief. Esme just set her notebook out on the table.

"How did you meet Marcus?" I asked her suddenly. Seeing them the previous day was like seeing a wolf with a baby kitten. It had shocked me because of how totally opposite the both of them seemed.

"He was my brother's friend." She answered quietly.

"You have a brother?" I had not known that. Wasn't she an only child?

Esme frowned a little, and her eyes flooded with sorrow. "I _had_ a brother," she whispered.

_Oh._

"Esme, I'm sorry. I didn't know." I apologized instantly. Had I known he was dead, which I rightfully assumed was what she meant, I would not have brought it up at all.

My friend forced a smile. "It's okay, Bella. I'm fine talking about him. It's been almost four years."

After a slight pause she decided to elaborate on her answer to my earlier question. "Marcus was friends with my brother Royce ever since they were little. They were not always in good company, you could say."

"What do you mean?" I asked, urging her to go on.

She sighed lightly. "Royce had some bad friends, Bella. He was in a gang. So were Marcus, Caius, Tanya, Alice, and Peter. The other people in the gang were James, Victoria, Laurent, and Laurent's younger half-brother Benjamin."

I didn't recognize any of those new names. What really shocked me was hearing her say Alice's name in that list. I had an unfathomably difficult time wrapping that idea around my mind. Alice was such a kind and friendly person. How could she have ever gotten herself roped into something as dangerous as gang life?

Esme continued the upsetting tale. "James, Alice, Royce, Marcus, and Victoria were in Seattle one day. Royce was buzzed and started a fight with the wrong person outside of a bar. James tried to break up the fight, and the guy stabbed him. Royce shot the guy."

My eyes widened, but I didn't ask her to stop talking.

"Marcus said they freaked out. James had been stabbed right in the artery on his neck. He bled to death in Victoria's and Alice's arms while they tried to drag him out of the street. The cops were almost there, somebody called when they heard the gun. Royce panicked and killed himself, too."

Esme's voice shook a little as she finished. "Victoria blamed Royce, and Marcus argued that it was all just a big accident. The gang fell apart. The ones at Alice's house yesterday left that kind of life, and are trying to get back on track. Marcus has never been the same since. We helped each other through that."

I understood Esme a little better now. I finally knew why she was so withdrawn from everyone around her.

"Alice never mentioned that before." I quietly told her.

I could barely understand Alice now. I felt like I didn't even know her. Like I only knew the painted façade of happiness she was willing to let me see. It was upsetting, but understandable.

Esme shrugged. "That isn't too surprising. Things got really bad with Alice after it happened. She acted so lost for the first few days. I didn't even recognize her. When she reached out to her parents for help, they told her she didn't need it. They _insisted_ that she just needed to give herself some time."

I frowned. "What happened then?"

Esme frowned too. She looked sad as she revisited these memories. "She clung onto Peter. She needed someone, and he was the only one who could be there for her whenever she needed him. If she didn't think she could go to school, he'd skip it with her. If she had a nightmare, even at three in the morning, he'd come to her house and sit with her."

After taking a breath she informed me. "Peter is the last person she should have relied on. At the time, he was selling cocaine. He eventually gave her some, and she started using it. When we found out a year ago, Edward _freaked_. Your dad arrested him the next day because he beat Peter so bad he was almost hospitalized."

Esme chuckled a little. "It worked though. Peter fully broke away from Victoria's half of the old gang and has been a good kid ever since. Alice has been mostly normal. It's been a little over a year now."

We both fell silent when Angela joined the table. I was quiet for the rest of the period, thinking about everything I just learned.

---------------------------

Jasper was frosty towards me in Geology. Mike wouldn't shut up in English. I didn't eat anything for lunch today, because I had no appetite.

Speaking of lunchtime, Rosalie made the next move in our war. She tripped me when I walked by her, and I almost fell on top of a freshman.

I was pissed.

I sat in my usual seat between Eric and Tyler. I plotted my retaliation. "Eric, how good are you with computers?"

"Very good." He answered. "I could be in advanced programming, but they were full. Why?"

"Do you know how to make a pop-up?" I asked with an evil grin on my face.

He got where I was going and also grinned. "Yeah. Is it for Rosalie?"

I nodded. "Can you do one with a custom message on it?"

He coded the thing, and I stood behind him and watched. We decided to make a continuous string. The order they went made a one sided conversation.

The first said, _Hi Barbie, it's Bella._

He sent it and we both turned our eyes onto Rosalie. She looked stunned, then glanced at me from over her shoulder. I waved at her. She rolled her eyes and closed the little window.

The next message said, _What's the matter, Rosie? Don't you like this game?_

I heard Rosalie growl from across the room.

_This is getting sort of irritating, isn't it?_

"Bella," Tyler warned, "She looks like she's getting pissed off."

I shrugged and typed the next message over Eric's shoulder.

_Tripping people isn't nice you know. I could have hurt myself. Then how would you feel?_

Rosalie sighed in exasperation. I knew I shouldn't be pushing her too far, but it was so much fun.

Eric altered the HTML to make one of the pop-ups that you click a million times, but the message never leaves. The kind where you need to restart your computer to get rid of. That one read, _Is this annoying yet?_

I jumped a little when I heard Rosalie's scathing voice from behind me. "Bella!"

I turned around to hear what she was going to say to me. I was not expecting to be met by a fist.

That's exactly what happened though. Her knuckles cracked right into my mouth, and I fell onto my ass. I felt my lips began to throb, and a trickle of blood rolled down my chin.

With a furious growl, I got to my feet and sprang at her. We both landed on the ground again, and I jammed my knee into her stomach.

I felt two pairs of arms restrain me as Maria and Jane ripped me off of their friend. I thrashed against them furiously and kicked at Rosalie, hoping to get a second shot in before this battle ended.

My foot connected with her jaw as she attempted to stand up. The force of the blow only made her fall back again. Tears started to fall from her eyes, and I swelled with pride.

_Fucking whore deserves to cry_.

Jane abandon me to tend to her friend. Maria, who was quite notably bigger then I was, rammed me into the wall.

"You're going to regret that, Bella." Her acid-like voice hissed.

It was not anger nor pride that rippled through my body now. It was fear. I tried to struggle against her iron grip on my arms.

"Let go of me you bitch!" I demanded.

She drew her fist back, and I flinched. Thankfully, the punch was never delivered. In a joint effort, Eric and Tyler had managed to pull Maria off of me before she could strike.

Mr. Hollister was crouched down with Rosalie and Jane now. He sounded shocked when he asked, "What in the world is going on?"

Maria tried to come at me again when my boys were not paying attention. Tyler had fast reflexises, however, and grabbed her again.

Jane, with surprising neutrality, explained to our teacher. "Bella was spamming Rosalie's computer, and she got mad. When Rose hit Bella, the fight broke out."

I had to wonder about Jane. What sort of a friend would be that honest? Huh. Maybe she was only close to Rosalie through Jasper?

I winced when I wiped the blood off of my face. My bottom lip was swelling badly, and it _hurt_. If there's one thing I could say about Rosalie Hale, besides how evil she is, it's that she can throw a mean right hook.

"She hit me first!" I defended myself.

"She wouldn't have had to if you left her alone." Maria loyally defended her friend.

"Stay out of this you stupid wench, nobody asked you." I growled angrily.

Third time's the charm.

She darted right between the boys and flung herself at me. I jumped to the side, causing her to crash into the wall. I tried to decide if physically hiding behind Tyler would make me look like a coward.

Unfortunately, for me, I didn't have time to come to a decision before Maria's fist connected with my left eye. I felt the capillaries burst as a terrible stab of pain struck the wounded area. It was going to bruise.

My eyes started to water, and it messed up my vision.

I was both embarrassed and happy when some of the other kids in the class intervened. They seemed to realize that this particular war would not have ended on its own.

Two of our biggest classmates, girls on the wrestling team, backed Maria into a corner of the room. One of them whispered something to her, and she shrank back fearfully.

Eric and Jane were escorting a now blubbering Rosalie out of the room. She was holding onto the side of her face. I really hoped I didn't crack her jawbone. That would be horrible; even I will say it and I hate the girl.

"Tyler, will you escort Bella to the nurse?" Mr. Hollister asked.

Tyler supportively wrapped an arm around my shoulders and started leading me away. As soon as we were in the hall, he spoke. "Bella, why did you hit her back? Now you're going to get into trouble, too."

Why did I hit her back?

Because I had to stand up for myself. Because I wanted that stupid little priss to know that I wasn't going to be her punching bag. Because accepting a suspension was _so_ totally worth the trade of getting to semi-win a fight with Rosalie Hale.

"Because I just did." Was the answer that I gave him.

* * *

**Teaser for c11:** If you were looking at _just_ Jasper, you could get away with saying something had taken a snap at him.

_All reviewers who say more than "update soon" or "great chapter" will get an extended teaser!

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_


	15. Chapter 11: Hostility and Tragedy

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All three of us were suspended for the remaining three days of the school week. Dad informed me that I was grounded for the next two. I felt it was an injustice. I didn't start the fight!

Well, okay, I did. Not the physical part, but the fight in general was my fault.

Anyway, he had to sign the suspension paper, so I was waiting in the hallway. I was going to attempt to mind my own business right now, but Jasper popped himself into it. He appeared like a shadow, so in his usual fashion.

"Bella, what the hell is wrong with you?" He glared at me. He stood not three entire inches away from me. I felt cornered, so I naturally became defensive.

"Stay out of this, Jasper. It's not your battle to fight." I moved to slip away from him. He put his arms up on either side of me and pinned me in place.

Our eyes met. He looked terrifyingly angry. I actually whimpered. I did not feel comfortable in this position at all.

"If it involves my sister, it _is_ my battle." He coldly announced.

I didn't know what to say to that. If I had a sibling, I would probably make it my business to stick up for them, too.

I wished dad would come out of the office already. His presence would scare Jasper away from me. The last thing you wanted was an angry person his size cornering you.

I was, apparently, not the only one who objected to the position I was in.

Carlisle appeared out of nowhere and rammed his shoulder into Jasper's side violently. Jasper stumbled and nearly fell. Carlisle stepped in between us, his hand reaching behind him to gently grab mine.

"Stay away from her." Carlisle warned dangerously.

He was a slight person, but he did not look defenseless like, for example, Eric did. He did have some muscle on him. He could probably rival Tyler. Jasper was bigger and had more muscle, so he would probably win in a fight between the two of them, but Carlisle would be able to put up a good resistance.

"You stay out of this. It's between me and Bella." Jasper progressed towards us again.

"Carlisle, please let it go." I quietly begged.

He glanced at me with dark eyes. I frowned, and he relaxed. I was positive that meant he would have let it go. _If_ Jasper hadn't started it up again.

Already in an aggressive mood, he didn't take to kindly to being knocked across the hall. Jasper grabbed the collar of Carlisle shirt and pulled him away from me before slamming his back against the wall.

Carlisle's face twisted into a fierce scowl. He was ready to fight back.

"Jasper!" A deep male's voice sharply dragged Jasper's attention away from Carlisle.

A man a little bigger then Charlie was standing a few feet down the hallway. He had one arm wrapped around Rosalie, who was leaning into his chest. One look at him made it very clear this was General Hale. He had the same violet eyes as Rosalie, and blonde hair only slightly darker.

Jasper's reaction surprised me. He released Carlisle and took a broad step back in less then one second; removing himself from the conflict he started. If you were looking at _just_ Jasper, you could get away with saying something had taken a snap at him.

General Hale looked displeased. "Jasper, you have a class to be in, don't you?"

Jasper lowered his eyes. "Yes, sir. I'm sorry." His apology sounded everything but sincere.

He glared at Carlisle before scurrying off down the hallway. Rosalie's father ignored us kids and turned his attention onto Rosalie as he headed towards the parking lot.

Carlisle straightened his shirt and managed to laugh. "Well that was lucky. That kid would have messed me up."

Directing his attention off of himself, Carlisle wrapped his arms around me and hugged me against his chest. "Speaking of that, what happened to you, Bella?"

His voice was thick with worry. I couldn't help but smile, even though my lip protested the action.

"Just some problems in my last class. You're going to be late for Calculus if you stay here." I reminded him.

He glanced at the clock on the wall, and then shrugged. "A minute or two won't kill anyone. What happened?"

"I'll tell you when I have the time." I promised.

"Bella." My dad called to me lightly.

I glanced at him. He was critically looking Carlisle over. I might have laughed at how protective his face was if I wasn't in a horrible mood.

"I have to go. Do you know who Edward Masen and Angela Weber are?" I asked hopefully.

Carlisle nodded. "They're both in my first period history class."

Edward was in our Geometry class, too.

"Could you hunt them down for me and bring my homework to my house?" I requested. Between the three of them, most of my classes would be covered. I'd like to avoid falling behind if it was at all possible.

"Sure. Bye." He smiled heartlessly at me.

I was not about to kiss him for two reasons. First, it would hurt. Second and more important, my dad was right there and watching us.

I settled for affectionately brushing his cheek. He blushed a little bit, and I laughed, pulled away from him and joining Charlie. We walked out to the cruiser in silence.

On the way home, he broke the silence with a question. "So, what happened today? I never thought I would be picking you up from school for_ fighting_."

"A building tension finally exploded between me and Rosalie Hale. Her friend got involved. That's when it actually got bad. It just got out of hand, I guess." I explained sourly.

"Are you alright?" He asked in concern.

"Yeah. I just need some ice, and I will be fine." I checked out my eye in the mirror. I grimaced. It was already a violent shade of purple around the entire circumference of my eye. Wonderful!

"Hey, how long 'till this goes away?" I asked as I gingerly poked at the tender bruise.

He gave it a good look. "It's pretty bad. I'd say at least three weeks, because of how swollen it is already."

Uug! That was just perfect! I sat back in the seat of the cat and started to sulk.

"So," he began awkwardly, "Who was that in the hall?"

Double uug. This was not a conversation I want to have right now.

"That was Carlisle Cullen." I answered. I hoped giving a last name would help my case before I broke the news. Any son of a pastor should get instantly good-kid credit in Charlie Swan's book.

It did.

"Cullen's boy, huh?" He looked thoughtful.

"Yeah. He's my boyfriend." I waited nervously for the worst reaction possible. Nobody wanted to see their little girl growing up enough for boyfriends, especially _this_ somebody.

"Oh." Was all that he said. He looked more tense then usual.

"Dad, he's really nice." I offered hopefully.

"I want to meet him." He announced.

I rolled my eyes. Typical response.

"You can soon." I smiled. Dad glanced at me in surprise. I decided to elaborate. "He said he would bring my homework over for me."

"Good. He can stay for dinner." Dad smiled suddenly. I didn't like that.

"You're going to be nice to him." I firmly ordered. "He's very sweet, and I don't want you scaring him off."

"Where's the fun in that?" He asked me playfully.

I growled. With a small laugh he promised, "I'll be good, Bells, really."

"You better be, or I won't invite him over when you're home anymore." I smirked.

That shut him up for the rest of the drive.

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Carlisle ate dinner with us for the rest of that week. At first, he had been the 'shell Carlisle.' He was very hesitant until he had figured out my dad. Once he felt comfortable, my Carlisle was there. I was happy to say that I think Charlie really liked him. Well… _Sort of_ liked him.

It was already the following Friday, and Carlisle had not been in school yet. He did not answer his phone. I was worried. Very worried. I had a very bad feeling about the disappearance.

Maybe he was ill, though. A bad stomach flu had been going around. I honestly couldn't give him as much thought, as I would have liked, though. It was midterms the end of this week, and I had to focus on that. I also had to put in a lot of effort to avoid Rosalie completely. Since the fight, her pack had strengthened.

Jasper and Maria were always with her now. Jane was rarely gone, and sometimes Tanya was there as well. Emmett was still my gym partner, and he was always friendly, but during lunch he would hover by her like a bodyguard.

My own pack had formed, though. Surprisingly, Alice chose me over Rosalie. She and Edward now sat with us at lunchtime. Esme and Angela were around more often. Eric, Tyler, and even Mike were constantly on the lookout.

I was secretly pleased to learn that I had more back up then she did. I guess being nice to people earned you more loyal friends.

Because Alice had chosen me, it actually only made the tension worse. I had actually been afraid to go to computer programming yesterday. I got there with seconds to spare so I couldn't possible have a confrontation with her. I was getting seriously evil looks from her; it was starting to freak me out.

Anyway, today was Friday.

I entered the lunchroom with Edward and Esme. Alice would have been here, but she was out again. I had gotten over wondering where she kept going. She always came back safe, so I guess it wasn't a problem.

Edward nudged me, and I glanced at him. He nodded his head towards the table.

I followed his eyes and saw Carlisle sitting there, all alone. My heart gripped with terror the moment I soaked in his appearance. His shoulders were slumped, his hair was messy, and his clothes were thrown on so carelessly they did not match.

His _face_ made my heart break. His mouth was pulled down into a small frown, and his watering eyes were very, very distant.

I glanced at Edward and Esme. "Can you guys sit somewhere else today?" I asked. It didn't look like he wanted too much company.

"Of course. I'll find the others." Esme answered before she hurried back into the hallway.

I went over to the table and sat down beside Carlisle. He bit his bottom lip when I gently clasped his right hand in between mine.

"Carlisle, what's wrong?" I asked him in a soft voice.

He turned his head towards me a little, but he did not look up. "Bella." His voice cracked.

I scooted my chair right beside his and wrapped an arm around him. I felt my throat tighten. "What is it?"

Tears slipped out of his eyes, silently and steadily streaming down his face. "Bella, my mom died two days ago."

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_Nothing can love you like a swan.  
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	16. Eleven in Jasper's POV

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The Project

Chapter Eleven

Jasper's POV

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Do you know what gets really old after a while? Watching Cheerios fall from your spoon into your uneaten bowl of cereal. Over and over again. Not at all able to alleviate a weary mind…

"Hey," Rosalie gently addressed me. I flicked my eyes up to meet hers. She sighed a little bit. "Don't get so worked up. I'm sure he won't be _that_ mad."

"We'll see." I mumbled heartlessly.

The words barely left my mouth when Gregory bellowed from outside, _"Jasper!!"_

I flinched, and instinctively my entire body tensed. He was mad. Rosalie frowned and offered, "Do you want me to come with you?"

I forced myself to smile at her. "No."

Gregory was never violent towards me. It was not like I needed her there to protect me or anything. She was just my moral support. Moral support that I didn't want around, because making her pick between her father and me would just hurt her in the long run.

I shuffled outside, stepping hesitantly into my stepfather's shadow. It disgusted me, but I sort of wanted to shake. Gregory was an intimidating person- especially when he was glaring a kid down with those harsh blue eyes of his.

"Jasper, would you care to explain this?" Gregory asked angrily, gesturing towards his car, which had a shattered front window.

"Not really." I whispered unhelpfully.

With his arms crossed and his voice dripping with warning, he growled, "Damn it, Jasper, I'm not in the mood for this."

And that meant no more being evasive. Being brash would only result in my being grounded, and him being pissed off. I broke under his glare and blurted out the story. "I was playing baseball with Edward yesterday, and we started messing around too close to the house. I accidentally hit the window with the bat. I didn't mean to, though! I was trying to hit Edward with it!"

_Why did you tell him THAT?_

Gregory shook his head a little bit, sighing under his breath. "Should I even ask, Jasper?"

"Probably not." I lowered my eyes and looked at the ground.

"Go and get ready for school." He ordered me. I could very clearly hear the disappointment in his voice. I could only imagine the things he was thinking about me right now.

"Yes, sir." I took a few steps away from him, not daring to meet his eyes.

Gregory turned away and started towards the house, muttering to himself.

"Wait!" I called out to him desperately. He glanced over his shoulder, looking more curious then usual.

My heart started to gallop and my mind scolded me. _Don't just stand there!_ I ended up stuttering out, "I-I'm s-sorry about the car... d-dad."

That word coming out of my mouth seemed to startle us both. I had never called him _dad_ before, except for the rare occasion where it was publicly necessary to maintain the family's perfect little image. Why did I suddenly decide to reach out to him? I couldn't even answer that.

It wounded me deeply when Gregory just turned away from me and walked into the house. I stood there, frozen to the ground. Rosalie poked her head out the back door a few seconds later.

I turned the other way so she wasn't able to see the tears prickling at my eyes.

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I acted more bitterly frigid towards _everyone_ at school that day than I could remember doing before. Jane kept her distance in Sociology, I shunned Bella in Geology, and I sat alone during lunchtime.

After German, I trudged along to the hallway to wait for Rose, Jane, and Maria, as I always did. I was surprised when just Jane came out of the class.

She hurried over to my side and frowned. "Rose got into a fight, Jasper."

Jane filled me in on what happened during the class as we walked towards the office. I muttered a goodbye and darted into the office. Rosalie was leaning against the walls, wiping her eyes.

"Rosie!" I popped up beside her, and we hugged one another. I whimpered, "Are you okay, Rose? How much are you hurt?"

She let her forehead rest in the crook of my neck, and she sniffed. "I'm f-fine."

I pushed her away a little bit and looked her over. There was a nasty bruise on her jawbone, and her arm wrapped around her stomach. Other then that she seemed pretty fine.

I must have looked pretty vicious, because her eyes were wide and a little scared as she looked at me. Maria wandered over and timidly set her hand on my shoulder. "Hey, calm down. She said she's fine."

My very spirit seemed to bristle, and I stalked out of the office in a rage. I stepped right in front of Bella- who leaned against the wall- and glared her down. "Bella, what the hell is wrong with you?"

Bella's body tensed and she glared right back at me. "Stay out of this, Jasper. It's not your battle to fight."

She inched to the left. Did she honestly think the conversation was over? That her dictating what was and wasn't my business meant end of discussion? She was dead wrong.

I slapped my hands against the wall beside her shoulders to keep her in place. Her big, soft, brown eyes locked with mine. I was shocked to the bone to hear a whimper come out of her throat.

_Jasper, be careful. Didn't we already agree to save her from an explosion? You're awfully close._

I didn't even care. Let her join the ranks of so many others who have been burned by my fury.

_But she's-_

No. She was nothing to me.

"If it involves my sister, it _is_ my battle." I informed her, my voice icier then usual.

A third party quite suddenly attacked me. I staggered dramatically, barely agile enough to stop myself from falling. I could swear a red haze flashed into my field of vision as I pinned the idiot with a death wish in my sights.

Carlisle Cullen. I had no classes with him, but in a town this small, we all knew one another.

My red simmered green the instant his hand met hers. I didn't allow jealousy over what was not mine to distract me, though.

His fierce hazel eyes met mine, and he warned, "Stay away from her."

I wanted to laugh. Who did that shrimp think he was? He probably couldn't last more then a minute with me. Sure, his toned arms made it obvious he did have some muscle to back up his threatening posture, but so what?

I was bigger than him and meaner than a kid like he could ever be. What did he have on his side to motivate him during a fight? He had friends. He had a family. He was frequently smiling. He could laugh. He had Bella.

I had a heart darkened with bitterness and experience warding off bullies since I was a little kid. I fought my sister's battles. I started my own battles. I had no parents. I had no reason to hold back. _I had_ _nothing_.

I would never hurt Bella, but I would cheerfully stomp Carlisle into the dirt and chuckle as I strolled in the other direction. I stalked closer to them and accepted his challenge. "You stay out of this. It's between me and Bella.

She whispered something to him, and his tense body instantly relaxed. She was trying to avoid a physical confrontation. Too bad. I clenched my fists around Carlisle's shirt collar and yanked him out of Bella's gentle grasp. It pleased me to see him wince when I cracked his body against the brick wall.

His wince formed a scowl a half of a second later. I would never say it aloud, but I was honestly impressed by the force of the hate that sparked in his eyes. Little Cullen didn't know the first thing about hate- so said spark was brief- but it was more then I had gotten in a long time.

I wanted the hate. I needed the passion in the enemy. Emotions made them hit harder and move faster than sheer adrenaline. I craved the challenge. Maybe _his_ emotion could inspire something inside of myself. Maybe I wouldn't feel so fucking cold anymore if he could force my blood to boil.

"Jasper!" My body thrilled with shock when Gre- _General Hale_'s voice cut into the air.

_Don't make him ashamed of you twice in the same day, Jasper. Make him happy. It's what mom would have wanted._

I immediately relaxed my hands and took a step back, putting a two or three foot distance between us.

My stepfather frowned unhappily. "Jasper, you have a class to be in, don't you?"

I lowered my eyes. _Do you even care, you old prick?_ "Yes, sir." I made sure every ounce of my resentment and loathing was heard when I added, "I'm sorry."

_Not like he cares if you're sorry. He let you know that this morning. He couldn't possibly care less about you. You're not even dirt to him._

I glowered at Carlisle one last time. He was above Peter on my hit list now.

Why?

Because I suddenly just realized he had everything I ever wanted, and he didn't even seem to notice. Just like Edward, he let himself skim over how much every laugh should be cherished. How much every smile should mean to him. How important a girl was who cared about him for _him._

I angrily turned away from them and hurried off to trig. I sat down beside Marcus and glanced curiously at the empty seat in front of him.

"She's at home." He reported, referring to Alice.

"Is she okay?" I asked half-heartedly. Alice was always okay, why did I even bother asking anymore?

He spared me a glance. "Keep it from Edward?"

_Oh, God._

"Yeah." I agreed honestly. If it was not my secret to tell, I wouldn't.

Marcus looked away guiltily. "He gave her some drugs again, Jasper. She ended up on my doorstep, rambling some insanity about 'this one being the permatrip'. I got her to fall asleep around five this morning."

I narrowed my eyes. "You're not going to do anything about it?"

Marcus' gray eyes met mine, and he frowned. It was the first time in a long time I could really see emotion in his eyes. He whispered, "She still needs him. Is it right for me to take her away again? Last time-"

I held up my hand. I didn't need him to _say_ what happened last time- the first and only time- Alice tried to leave Peter. It was two years ago, shortly after he started making her take the cocaine. She threatened him, warning him to keep away from her or she'd call the cops and turn him in. Peter did just as she asked, he kept away from her.

Peter himself was sort of a drug. Alice spiraled into such a depression she tried to kill herself. If Alec hadn't gotten Peter to break in through her window and stop her...

Nobody knows what happened between the two of them that day, locked away behind her door. However, when they came out, they were closer then ever before. Alice totally and completely relied on him now, and he was only fostering her needy side.

I sighed and looked away, too. "I suppose this is what's best for her."

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**Teaser for c12:** He took a shuttering breath and agreed, "That's good. She was tired of hurting."

_All reviewers who say more than "update soon" or "great chapter" will get an extended teaser!

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	17. Chapter 12: History Lesson

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_I got bored and decided to update again. Be happy and leave me a good review._

_xD_

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I felt my heart literally skip a beat when those words came out of his mouth.

I frowned and pulled him even closer to me. He crumpled into my arms and just stared blankly at the wall.

"Carlisle, I'm so sorry. That's terrible." I struggled to think of what I could do to soothe him. What would I want to hear if Renee had died of cancer?

"At least she's not hurting anymore, Carlisle." That's what I came up with.

He wiped his eyes fruitlessly. The tears kept coming. He took a shuttering breath and agreed, "That's good. She was tired of hurting."

I was surprised when Emmett appeared and sat on the other chair beside Carlisle. They boys made eye contact. Emmett asked, "Your mom?"

Carlisle nodded miserably.

I had no idea how they knew each other, but I didn't dare to ask right now. Emmett's appearance had proceeded to further calm Carlisle down. That was a good thing.

_Rosalie_ sat on Emmett's other side. I swear to all that is holy, if she even looked like she was going to start something, I was going to break her face.

However, to my surprise, she looked rather gentle. Her eyes were sad, and she was frowning.

Allowing my protective flare to die down, I pushed her out of my mind and nuzzled Carlisle's hair. He was my only priority right now.

None of us talked for the whole period. Emmett had silently convinced Rosalie to leave. When Jasper and Jane came into the lunchroom, she joined them and disappeared.

Emmett was gently rubbing Carlisle's knee. For whatever reason, it was working. Eventually the tears stopped. The lunch bell rang, but we didn't get up. Nothing was more important than the boy in my arms right now.

Carlisle took a deep breath. "I want to go somewhere else."

I didn't even think before I offered, "Let's go back to my house."

"I can drive us." Emmett offered.

Carlisle nodded.

We slipped into the parking lot without notice and loaded into the front of Emmett's truck. All three of us easily fit in the beastly vehicle's front portion.

"You look terrible." I pointed out to Carlisle. He was chalk-white and gaunt looking. His eyes were constantly downcast and sad.

He didn't look terrible. He looked completely and utterly defeated.

"Have you been taking care of yourself?" I scolded him in a gentle tone. I already knew what the answer was.

He shrugged weakly.

I had to extract information out of him. "When was the last time you slept."

"Three days ago." He answered mechanically.

"Ate?" I asked sadly. He had so little energy, I wouldn't be surprised if he was lacking in protein.

"Yesterday morning."

My motherly instincts kicked in. I had developed them throughout my unconventional childhood. I made a bounce-back plan for him. "You can sleep in my room when we get back to my house. You need to rest."

He nodded. I knew he had heard me, but I wasn't sure if the words registered. He didn't look like he was _able_ to pay attention right now.

He was responding to my voice, though, so I kept going. "When you wake up, I will feed you as much as you want."

"My dad?" He asked with little concern.

"I'll call him and tell him you are at my house." I promised.

I directed Emmett towards my house. Holding Carlisle's hand, I helped him stumble his way inside and up the stairs. I took him into my room, and he kicked his shoes off before crumpling into my bed.

"Your dad won't care?" He asked warily.

Who cared if he cared? Carlisle needed somebody for him right now, and it wouldn't be surprising that _his_ dad was too busy for him. With funeral arrangements and what not to take care of.

"No, he won't mind." I said just to soothe him.

I sat with him, gently running my fingers through his hair, until he was in a deep sleep. Confident I could leave him alone now, I returned downstairs. Emmett was just sitting on the couch waiting for me.

"Sorry." I apologized for forgetting about him.

"It's fine." He smiled a tiny bit. It wasn't the cheesy grin I was used to from gym class. "How is he?"

I sat down beside Emmett and sighed. "Not great."

Emmett shook his head. "I was worried this was going to happen. He tried to be okay with the idea, but he never really seemed ready to let her go."

"How do you know him?" I asked curiously.

Emmett turned to look at me. "I was raised by my grandparents. Never knew my dad, and my mom died when I was two. My grandpa is sick. When you're both at the hospital a lot, you tend to find each other and become friends."

I nodded, understanding that. You are bound to run into someone you know when you spend two and a half days in the same place every week.

I was surprised when he just started rambling. "I can relate to the poor kid, though. My grandpa is old, and old people can't live forever. I never really had a relationship with him; nana was really the only one putting any effort into raising me. But if she was sick, too…"

He trailed off, and his eyes widened. I suspect that was the first time he considered the idea of both the people he loved passing away.

I attempted to distract him. "How do you know Rosalie?"

I slapped myself the moment the question was out. The very last thing I wanted to be talking about was that witch.

"I've known her forever." He answered. "She used to be my best friend. We got a lot closer when Jasper's mom came into the picture."

He frowned suddenly. I wasn't even able to try and guess what had crossed his mind. He skidded over those years. "She was just about to turn thirteen when the accident happened. Submarine thing."

I nodded. I remembered the story.

"She did like Mrs. Hale, even if it wasn't like a mother-daughter thing at first. She and Jasper were both devastated. Mr. Hale wasn't there to help them through it; he barely got through it himself. Jasper decided to struggle through it himself. He wouldn't let anyone in after it happened. Rose started to lean on me again." He shrugged.

"Last year we got to talking one day and decided to try out dating. Now we're here." He smiled at me. I guessed that was the end of the story.

I decided I could brave a question. "Why does Jasper dislike General Hale?"

Emmett shrugged yet again. "Who knows? Jasper has always been weird like that. After meeting him when he first moved up here, we were all surprised he even liked Rose. An even bigger shocker: Jane. I think they're just together for fun. Outside of social events, the two of them never get together."

"What do you know about Carlisle's life before he moved here?" I asked Emmett. It had clearly been a sensitive topic for him. When we were story swapping his were always safe, happy stories. No person had a life that's all sunshine and rainbows.

"I've been talking to Carlisle since the summer started." He sighed lightly. "From what he's told me, his life sucked in London. He was too shy to make friends as a kid. His mom got sick when he was a sixth grader. He said that for the first two years he was so scared and confused he was really short fused. He got kicked out of three schools for fighting."

That was startling news. I tried to imagine my gentle, sweet Carlisle being expelled _three times_. Thinking back to last Tuesday, I found it rather easy. The furious look in his eyes when Jasper had him up against the wall... It did not help that Catholic schools have a pretty low-tolerance for things like violence.

Emmett's voice yanked me out of my thought as he continued. "His mom eventually got him to the point where he could accept the idea of losing her. He said once he had come to terms with the fact it was going to happen eventually, he calmed down to who he is now."

I made a mental note to keep a close tab on him. I would be very upset to see him head back down that track. There are a lot of people like Jasper in the school; Carlisle would have a lot of opportunities if he were looking for a fight.

I was getting depressed thinking about this.

"Tell me about your grandma?" I invited. He was obviously an open person. I didn't think he would have a problem with it.

Emmett laughed once. "My nana is great. She's a tough little cookie, and she always has been. When she was in her thirties, she went to Vietnam as a nurse. That's how she met my grandpa. He had enlisted off on a whim. War life was not for him. He was shot just three weeks into his term, but they couldn't get him back over the ocean until a supply helicopter came. By then, four months later, he was fine and decided to stay."

Emmett grinned. "He told me he didn't go back home, because he was afraid he would never find nana again. She had nowhere to go, so she accepted his marriage offer the day they learned the war was over."

I smiled. "That's a nice story." Well, minus all the war and being shot. It sounded like something that came out of a movie.

He nodded. "She really is a great person." His eyes shined with affection. "She was always strict, but she loves me a lot. She thinks my mother would have been proud of me if she were here."

I was surprised that he was willing to share so many personal moments with me. We barely knew each other. I kind of liked it, though. I was getting a little tired of most of my friends being secretive. It just settled wrong with me. Friends had to be honest with each other.

I suddenly felt a little deprived. It was stupid, but I couldn't control my emotions. Charlie couldn't be there for me when I was little, and 90% of the time I had to be there for mom.

I brushed those feelings aside easily. I loved my childhood, and I wouldn't have changed a single thing even if it were possible. I was happy here with Charlie, and mom was happy gallivanting with Phil.

Everyone but Carlisle was happy. And damn it, it pissed me off. Why did life have to suck so much?

"So, Bella. Who did that?" He glanced at my bruised eye.

I frowned. "Maria."

Emmett shrugged. "I should have guessed. Rosalie can pack a punch, but I don't think she'll ever give that nice of a shiner."

"Oh, thanks for the compliment, Emmett. I just love knowing my wounded eye can be classified as _nice._" My voice was heavy with sarcasm.

We both laughed a little bit. He pointed out, "You're pretty busted up right now. Does that happen often?"

My damage total was now at three. My arm was still healing from the accident two weeks ago. It was mostly scarred over, but the parts that had been deepest were not healed yet. Now, I had a serious black eye, and a busted lip.

"It's not usually this bad, though I am accident prone." He smirked. I invited, "You can go raid the fridge if you want." We had not eaten lunch, and a big guy like him has got to be hungry.

He disappeared as I picked up the phone. I had to call Father Cullen and let him know what was going on. It was probably a good idea to let Charlie know too, so he wouldn't be surprised when he finds Carlisle sleeping in my bed and Emmett in the house before school is supposed to be out.

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**Teaser for c13:** She glanced at me. I was frightened by the intensity on her face.

_All reviewers who say more than "update soon" or "great chapter" will get an extended teaser!

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_


	18. Chapter 13: Specific Observations

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Carlisle slept into the next day, which was today. It was Saturday. His dad said he could stay here until Monday, and dropped some stuff off for him.

I was doing the laundry while he was eating. I made him enough food for three and told him he had to eat most of it.

Just as I closed the lid to the dryer, Carlisle appeared around the corner. "Hi."

"Hey! Are you feeling any better now?" I asked him. I was hoping he was. He looked better. He just didn't look as lost today.

"I guess so. I'm not hungry anymore." He offered a small smile.

I took his hand, and we wandered into the living room. We snuggled together on the couch, and he gave me a gentle kiss.

"Thanks, Bella. For helping me right now." His eyes were full of emotion.

"It's no problem." I honestly answered. I'd never just abandon him if he needed me. I were sure he would return the favor if I needed him to. That understanding between us only made me feel closer to him.

"What are we doing today?" Carlisle asked.

I smiled at him suddenly. He tilted his head slightly, clearly wondering what was with my surge of eagerness.

"Carlisle, do you want to see some sand?" I asked him. He mentioned before that he never had before.

"Sure!" A grin spread across his face. "Where are we going?"

"We're going to First Beach." I answered. Charlie was headed down there for weekend fishing with Billy Black, anyway. He could drop us off along the way.

It was sunny out today, so the sand would actually be dry. When Charlie was ready, we loaded into the cruiser and soon after we were at First Beach. We made no plans for him to pick us up. Apparently, we were having dinner with the Black's tonight. I told my dad not to worry. We could just walk.

Once we found a sunny spot, the two of us lay in the sand together. He pressed his cheek against it and marveled, "It's so warm."

I laughed. "Don't get used to it."

It was usually more of a muddy clay then sand. That was what happened when it rained every day.

I watched him grab a fistful and lift his arm. Slowly he allowed the tiny grains to slide through his fingers and back onto the beach. It was like a child first experiencing the snow. His face was bright with wonder.

I've always had the sand, but I acted the same way when I first came to Forks. I was five at the time. I had never seen things like ferns and bracken before. Never felt moss or walked through fog.

Carlisle rolled onto his stomach, setting his cheek on his crossed arms. He smiled at me. We spent most of the day just talking to each other. Talking to Carlisle was so easy. It was natural, like breathing.

---------------------------

The weekend flew by faster then either of us seemed to realize. The cruiser stalled half way to school, so we were late. Charlie said he would call the office and get us excused, and that we should just go to class. He knew more about the system then we did, so we just headed down the hallway.

We stopped in front of my art room. Carlisle hovered in front of me and bid, "I hope you have a good day, Bella."

I kissed him. It was a little more emotional of a kiss then usual. I really worried for him today. He was taking life better than on Friday, but I couldn't imagine he was doing very well inside.

"I'll see you at lunch." I promised. He nodded and started down the hall. I opened the door to the art room and poked my head inside.

"Car stalled." I announced to the teacher when he shot me an inquiring look.

He nodded and motioned for me to take my seat. Midterms were not a big deal for this class, the final grade was. Today we were starting the project for that final grade. It was a 2 by 3 foot portrait of anything or anyone we wanted to put on it.

We had freedom of creativity, more or less.

I took my seat beside Alice and smiled at her. She smiled back. It was the most pathetic attempt at a smile I had ever seen. Her eyes were lack-luster, and her face was paler then usual.

"Alice, are you alright?" I asked with deep concern. She didn't seem fine to me. She hadn't for almost a week.

"Of course I am." She instantly replied.

"Are you sure?" I asked hesitantly.

Alice snapped her head to the side, and she glared at me. Her eyes were like two furious storm clouds, ready to unleash their fury.

"I'm fine, Bella. Stop asking me things, it's pissing me off." Alice growled.

I scooted my chair away from her. "Fine." My voice was sharper than I had wanted it to be.

We ignored each other in a stubborn silence for most of the period. I started my portrait. I knew exactly what I wanted to do. Alice was frustrated. She had started and threw away two different sketches. I wanted to comfort her, but it was impossible if she didn't let me. I kept to myself.

"So, what are you making?" Alice asked quietly, peeking at my sketch. Right now it was a bunch of dis-joined circles and lines.

"You." I answered.

Alice looked surprised. "Really?"

I nodded. She was going to be even more surprised when I finished painting it.

"I can't decide on what I want to do." She frowned at her blank canvas.

"Draw something from your heart. That's what art is for." I suggested.

She glared at the paper for a long time before she started sketching again. I ignored her and concentrated on my work. Apparently, space is all Alice needed to let her barriers down.

"So," she started softly, "I was with Marcus and Aro all weekend."

I glanced at her, giving her my attention since she wanted it now.

"I stopped by the house this morning. First time they saw me in three days, and all they asked was 'are you going to school today.'" That look was back in her eyes. That far away look that made her gaze look like fog.

I decided to just tell her what I thought she wanted to hear. "That must suck, Alice. I'm sorry."

A very small smile curled onto her face. "Don't be. It's not your fault, Bella."

"Why don't you talk to them?" I suggested.

She glanced at me. I was frightened by the intensity on her face.

"Talk to them about what?" Her voice was desperate. I didn't know what to tell her. How should I know what would get her idiot parents to care about her more?

I guessed. "Maybe you should tell them you want them to be more active in your life."

The second I said it, I realized that Alice was a rose. She was soft and gentle. She had thorns, but they were only there to protect her fragile interior. As soon as I finished my suggestion, she began to wilt.

She shrank away from me and dropped her gaze back onto the sheet in front of her. She looked so small. When did she get so small?

A single tear drop landed on the desk, and she whispered to me, "Bella, I've tried that before. I don't think they even want me."

I swear I felt my heart breaking. I scooted my chair closer to her and patted her back. I didn't want to make a huge scene in the middle of the class. She wouldn't want that.

"Alice, they're your parents. I'm sure they want you." I tried to reassure her.

She shook her head. "They don't care. Sometimes I wonder if they even know I live in the same house. I'm just like a shadow to them. Something that is always around, but you never pay any attention to because it's just there. I've tried everything…"

She trailed off and picked up her pencil. "Never mind. Let's just get back to work."

I realized that was Alice's way of telling me she couldn't talk about it anymore. I retreated back to my side of the table and picked my pencil back up. I definitely knew exactly how I wanted to portray Alice in this portrait.

-------------------------

Lunchtime rolled around quickly. I was walking with Edward as we made our way into the cafeteria. Angela and Emmett were sitting with Carlisle. Edward and I joined them.

"Hey Carlisle." I greeted.

He offered me a little smile. "Hi."

"How has your day been?" I asked him. I hoped it was better then how they had been recently.

He shrugged. That wasn't good, but it wasn't bad, so I didn't let myself get too down over it. Alice and Esme joined us soon. I figured that was going to be it. Then _they_ came.

Rosalie sat in between me and Alice. Jasper sat between Carlisle and Angela. Carlisle and Jasper glared daggers at each other, but neither spoke.

"Alice," Rosalie asked, "What's wrong?"

That question roused Edward and Esme's attention.

Alice shrugged and turned to ask Emmett something. I was surprised Rosalie noticed. Even with my slightly in-depth knowledge of Alice, I could not look at her and guess something was bothering her.

That roused _my_ interest. I melted into the background and started watching the others at the cramped table. Everyone was in interaction with Rosalie. It wasn't a demanded attention, though. She just got it. It made me think that, perhaps, they respected her.

Don't ask me _why_, but it certainly did seem like it.

Jasper was very prickly towards Carlisle. Almost like a ripple effect, most of the others at the table were ignoring him. Only Angela and myself seemed to notice that happening. Carlisle was so out of it he didn't even realize it.

This led me to the conclusion that Rosalie and Jasper were the core of this group. Somehow we were all tied together through one of them. Either on a friendly basis, or a hostile one.

"Jasper?" Emmett asked. The blonde boy turned his head.

Emmett nodded towards Jane, who was with Caius on the total opposite side of the room. "Did you two break up or something? She looks pretty friendly with him."

"We were never really official." Jasper answered simply.

Emmett had been right, they were just doing it for fun. That helped me make one more guess about Jasper. He feared commitment. It was very rare for teenagers to just 'fun date' with a girl. The lunch bell rang, and the herd of us broke into small packs.

Rosalie, Jasper, and Emmett exited through the door to the far east. Edward, Esme, and Alice exited to the door south of the table. Angela, Carlisle, and I left the door right behind where we had been sitting.

I thought that the natural binds between us, keeping us together yet separate were pretty set-in-stone.

_I thought wrong._

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**Teaser for c14:** He answered without taking a second to realize what he was doing. "That's exactly why."

_All reviewers who say more than "update soon" or "great chapter" will get an extended teaser!

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_


	19. Chapter 14: Igneousness

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Both Alice and I worked diligently on our portraits the next morning. Alice, I would say, had an unusual fervor to her. She was almost finished inking her lines so she could paint. I had just finished sketching mine! There was a backpack in between us on the table. I didn't want her to see my picture of her yet, and she said hers was a surprise.

"Bella, have you ever wondered what makes stuff glow in the dark?" Alice asked me out of nowhere.

I glanced at her in confusion. "Not really. Why?"

She held up a clear paintbrush. "This one is glow in the dark. It's clear. I can see right through it. What could possibly make it glow, then?"

Leave it to Alice to think about that. I tried to recall what else glowed. Obviously, glow sticks. They did it through a chemical reaction. What else glowed?

_Stuffed animals._

"What if the government is trying to kill us while we're little?" I asked with wide eyes.

"What?" Alice asked back, also wide-eyed.

I nodded seriously. "It's chemicals or something that makes stuff glow. Have you ever had a glowing stuffed animal, Alice?"

"I have a Care Bear under the dresser in the closet." She answered. "Rose got it for me two years ago. I woke up one night and it's evil green eyes were staring right at me. It totally creeped me out."

I began to muse out loud. "They do it so little kids can find it in the middle of the night. The only reason a kid would be awake is if they had a bad dream. They want the eerie glow to become connected to comfort, like a night light."

Ben, who sat alone at the table right in front of us, was very interestedly listening to this conversation.

I ignored him and continued. "The kid will grab the animal and hug it close to them, because it makes them feel safe. Then every night following, they do it again, because the animal just became a security blanket. Their mouths are right by those evil green eyes!"

Alice looked horrified, and she finished my thought. "So those particles are being inhaled and slowly ruining the lungs of our nation's youth! Oh, God! What do you think it does to the esophagus?"

I shrugged. Alice glanced at the brush in her hand. She dropped it like it was a piece of hot coal, and it clattered to the ground.

"I got them all over my hand!" Alice wailed, drawing a lot of attention onto herself.

Ben pushed his chair closer and pulled a small bottle of hand sanitizer out of his pocket. "Here." He squirted some on for her. She looked grateful as she began to rub her hands together. I laughed at her silliness.

"Thanks a lot, Bella." Alice's scathing voice addressed me. "Now I'm going to be paranoid about every single stuffed animal I come across for the rest of my life."

"You asked the question." I grinned at her.

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I was alone in Home Economics. Angela and Esme had some Yearbook thing to be at in the auditorium.

It was on my way to Geology, in a normally deserted hallway, that I ran into Rosalie. She was sitting on the ground with her knees pulled against her chest, and her face buried in them. I firmly told myself to keep walking. Whatever her problem was, it was just that, _her_ problem.

I made it about a meter past her before I turned around and sat down beside her. I asked, "Rosalie, are you okay?"

For a long handful of seconds, it was silent between us. After those few seconds passed, she gave me a response. "Leave me alone, Bella."

It was startling to hear her voice. It wasn't bitter or aggressive like it usually was. It was just… really small. Sad. This girl in the hallway was not my nemesis. She was just a completely miserable class mate.

"Did you get into a fight with your friends or something?" I asked her awkwardly. Talking to her was totally surreal. I was out of my Rosalie Comfort Zone, which was hostility. She was unresponsive.

I realized I needed to recruit a higher power. I needed to bring someone who actually mattered to her into this picture.

"Do you want me to bring Jasper back here?" I asked her. He was in the class I was almost late for. I know where to find him.

"Yeah." Rosalie whispered in answer to my question.

I left my backpack beside her and slipped around the corner, then half-way down the hall. Jasper was just entering the classroom with Lauren glued to his side. I grabbed the back of his shirt and tugged him into the hall before the teacher saw him.

He glared at me from over his shoulder. "What?"

I ignored his sharpness and grabbed his hand. "It's Rosalie."

Without another word between us, he followed me as we sprinted down the corridor leading back to his sister. I hung back as he darted over to her, kneeling at her side.

After a while of talking to her, he stood up and helped her to her feet. She hugged him and pressed her face into his chest. I realized she had started to cry. Her shoulders were quivering slightly, and Jasper looked beyond furious.

He looked deadly.

I cautiously inched my way closer until I was standing beside them. I asked him, "Is she okay?"

"Boyfriend problems. _Ex-_boyfriend." Jasper informed me.

Well, that explained it.

"Bella, can you carry this?" He nudged her backpack with his toe. I picked it up and slowly followed him down the hallway. He was whispering something to Rosalie, but it didn't seem to be helping any.

Soon we entered the Nurse's Office. She frowned when she saw us. "Did you girls get into another spat?" Her tone of voice was sternly disapproving.

"Not today." I answered dryly.

"Can she stay here until lunchtime?" Jasper asked. "We can call our dad then and ask him to pick her up."

The nurse didn't ask questions, she just nodded.

"I'll come and pick you up then, okay Rose?" Jasper gently wiped her tears away from her face. She nodded weakly and pulled out of his hold.

I set her backpack down. The nurse wrote us each a pass to our class, and we started down the hall.

"Thanks for getting me, Bella." Jasper glanced at me. "I know you don't like each other, but it was nice of you. Rose doesn't know how to handle things like this herself. Emmett was always her crutch."

I decided to carry the conversation. "And you have learned how to?"

He frowned a little. "Yeah."

I sensed his dreariness and changed the topic. "She seems pretty lost without Emmett."

Jasper lifted his chin, suddenly ten feet tall. I felt smaller in his presence. "She has me now. I warned her not to get too involved with him."

"Why?" I asked curiously.

"Because I knew this would happen." He growled. "That if he ever left her, she'd fall apart."

An idea sprang to mind. I made sure my voice was innocently neutral, "Is that why you don't let people get close to you? Because you don't want to fall apart when they leave?"

He answered without taking a second to realize what he was doing. "That's exactly why."

The moment he said it he stopped walking. I stopped, too. I watched his face go from dazed, to shocked, to upset within two seconds.

He glared at me. "That's not what I meant!" Bristly Jasper was back. I didn't back off like I did last time. I wanted to try to make friends with him.

"Jasper, you don't have to do that you know." I watched him carefully. His body was stiff, and he looked very uncomfortable.

"Do what?" He demanded.

"_That_. You don't need to be defensive all the time." I frowned a little bit.

He crossed his arms and started walking again. After a few seconds of silence, he decided to speak. "And _you_ don't need to keep trying to figure me out. It's getting annoying."

I smirked. "Why, because I'm right?"

"Yes." He admitted. I was shocked. It would have made more sense for him to try and throw me off again.

That was when I realized that I had officially broken down his wall. I had figured him out, and he knew it, so he wasn't going to waste his effort trying to mask himself anymore. It would be completely pointless.

"I want to be your friend, Jasper." I announced.

"Why?" He glanced curiously at me.

That was a good question. I didn't know why. I just knew that when we were talking, when he _wasn't_ being bipolar, it felt right. I certainly wouldn't tell him _that_, however.

"Why not?" I challenged him.

He sighed in frustration. "Bella, you're wasting your time. You don't want to be friends with someone like me."

I stepped in front of him, forcing him to stop walking. He glared daggers at me. I glared back at him and asked again, "Why not?"

He growled at me as an answer. I grinned. "Well, you apparently lack literary social skills, but besides that I don't see a problem."

Rolling his eyes, he nudged me aside and tried to escape me.

I bounced over to his side. "You know, I think we could be great friends, the two of us."

He obviously didn't want to, but against his better judgment he asked, "And why is that?"

I gripped the knob to our classroom and grinned. "We're both igneous."

He smiled, and I opened the door, leading the way into the classroom.

* * *

**Teaser for c15:** "Alice let go!" Jasper wailed. "You're hurting me!"

_All reviewers who say more than "update soon" or "great chapter" will get an extended teaser!

* * *

_


	20. Chapter 15: When Meteors Collide

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I was walking with Edward, as usual, on the way to lunch. Out of nowhere, Jasper and Rosalie appeared. The poor girl still looked devastated. She had that lost look in her eyes. The haunted one Alice got when she talked about her estranged parents.

"Hi." Edward greeted simply. His eyes were all for Rosalie. He frowned a little bit but didn't ask her what was wrong.

"Edward, will you walk her to lunch? I want to talk to Bella." Jasper glanced at his friend

Edward wrapped an arm around her waist and started talking to her as they made their way down the hall. Jasper slowly strolled beside me.

"So, Bella." He started. "I was thinking about what you said earlier."

I glanced at him curiously.

"If you want to be friends, I guess we can try it out." He offered me a tiny smile.

I smirked. "Chess this weekend?"

It was the only thing I knew about him, so it was the only thing I would offer.

His face lit up. "Sure."

We entered the lunchroom. "Who's house?" I asked him.

He seemed to seriously consider it before sighing a little. "Mine?"

"Okay." I smiled at him. His eyes sparkled a little.

Carlisle slipped into the picture. "Hi, Bella." He wedged himself in between me and Jasper. His arm wrapped around my shoulders, and he glared at Jasper. "Is this guy bothering you again?"

Jasper snorted very arrogantly. "Like you could do anything about it if I was."

Carlisle glowered at Jasper. "Do you want to test that theory?"

Jasper scowled, and my heart skipped a beat. I twisted myself, spinning in between the boys.

"We were just talking." I promised Carlisle.

Jasper glared at Carlisle from over my head. I hated being so much shorter than them. I could almost feel a hostile current connecting the two of them above me.

The attention of all three of us snapped over to the table a second later.

I don't know what happened, but it was suddenly standoffish. Emmett and Edward were on opposite ends of the table, both standing up tensely and glaring murder at one another.

Alice and Esme hovered around Rosalie. She was crying. It wasn't just a gentle stream of tears this time. It was pretty heavy.

Jasper completely shifted his priorities. He stomped over to the table and stood right in front of Emmett. They glared at one another furiously.

"Edward, why is she crying again?" He demanded to know in a rather upset tone.

"He called her a slut." Edward reported.

Emmett glowered at Rosalie. "She said I was sleeping with the lady from the office."

"She did not!" Edward protested hotly. "You heard her wrong!"

"What _did_ she say, then?" Emmett demanded.

Jasper's mind was very one track.

"You called her a slut?" He snarled in disbelief.

"She acts like one." Emmett replied coldly.

That was a mistake.

Jasper's fist collided with Emmett's nose so hard the bigger boy was knocked right onto his back.

It was the bullet that started the war.

As Jasper lurched forward to continue his assault, Alice got in the way. She was small, but as we all know, she was also expertly trained and surprisingly powerful.

She grabbed one of Jasper's arms and twisted it, forcing him onto his knees. Her left foot pinned his right forearm to the floor. He winced when he tried to struggle free.

"Jasper, leave him alone!" Alice growled testily.

Angela had been coming onto the scene, and she knelt beside Emmett. His nose was bleeding. Esme joined her, and they helped Emmett back to his feet.

I gently pulled away from Carlisle. Picking a napkin up off the table, I handed it to Rosalie. She wiped her face and forced a smile for me.

"Alice let go!" Jasper wailed. "You're hurting me!"

Alice was not given the chance to make the decision for herself before Edward literally knocked her away from Jasper. The cousins locked eyes, and a flicker of rage seemed to spark to life between them. Edward's actions drove a stake in the center of the group. Without even realizing it, we had divided ourselves.

Carlisle helped Jasper off of the floor. Jasper gingerly massaged his shoulder, and he clenched his jaw to hold back a few tears that had welled up. I guess that really hurt.

"Stay away from us." Edward growled. He was glaring directly at Alice, but it was obvious he meant it for all of them. Esme, Emmett, and Angela. He wanted them all to keep their distance.

The girls all turned away from us and ushered Emmett to the other side of the room.

Jasper glanced behind him at the four of us who remained. Edward was fretting over Rosalie, and Carlisle had returned to my side.

Jasper collected Rosalie and headed away. Like the soldiers we just became, Edward, Carlisle, and I followed.

Some deep part of me told me this was not the last battle our army would fight.

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Rosalie went home before the lunch period was over. She was distressed, and her dad didn't think it was good to keep her here right now after Jasper explained what was going on.

I was on my way to Computer Programming. I had a note to deliver to evil herself.

"Do you want me to do it?" Tyler offered.

"No, I'll do it." I denied. Maria wasn't going to jump on me for coming too close to her. I hoped.

Speaking of Maria, she was arguing with Jane over something. Eric and Tyler wandered over to the other side of the room where we sat. I slipped over to Maria and Jane. They stopped talking and glanced at me in shock.

I pulled the folded paper out of my pocket and extended it towards Maria. "It's from Edward."

I hoped she believed in 'don't shoot the messenger'.

Maria blinked and took it from me. "Oh. Thanks."

I retreated to my usual seat the second I was free to escape. I didn't want to be anywhere even close to Maria.

"What was all that about?" Eric asked once I had taken my seat.

I shrugged. "I didn't read it."

As usual, the period was spent with idle chatter between me and the boys. Tyler was complaining about his low C midterm grade, and Eric promised to help him so he would pass the class with at least a B.

When the class ended, Tyler and Eric both left. My computer froze logging off, but Mr. Hollister said that he would take care of it and that I could go.

I entered the hallway and ran right into Jasper, who was directly around the corner.

He smirked at me and pulled me closer to him. I would have greeted him, but the people he was with were talking.

"Emmett's such a jerk." Tanya spat.

Marcus, Jane, and Maria were also standing with us. Marcus frowned at Tanya. "You're not being very fair to him, Tanya. From what Esme's told me, Emmett feels really bad. He thinks this is Rosalie's fault."

So, they both blamed the other. That was always fun.

"It was clearly Emmett's fault." Tanya insisted.

"What makes you think so?" Marcus asked indifferently.

Jasper frowned, glaring at Marcus. "You've known Rosalie for like five years. She'd never do anything to hurt Emmett! You should know that."

"Jane!" A male's voice echoed across the hallway.

I glanced to see who it was.

Alec and Aro were standing there. Marcus immediately went over to his little brother's side. It was only natural that Marcus would be against us. Alice and Esme were on the other side.

Jane looked torn for a moment. Did she choose her friends, or her brother?

The choice was obvious. After a few seconds she wandered over to Alec and left the rest of us in the dust. The four of them started down the hall, while the four of us glowered at them.

Maria turned to Tanya. "Weren't you supposed to meet Kate before seventh period?"

Tanya glanced at the clock. "Right. I'll see you guys later." The pretty blonde hurried down the hall in pursuit of her sister. Maria waved to us then went her own way. Jasper started walking with me. He looked unhappy.

"What's wrong?" I asked him.

"Everything." He muttered. "Things shouldn't be like this. We shouldn't all be ready to rip each other apart over something this small."

I didn't know what to say. He didn't seem to mind the silence. Once we were near the office, he stopped. "I have to go this way. I'll see you tomorrow."

I nodded, and he turned left. I kept going straight until I was in the Geometry room. I could taste the unusual tension.

Edward was as stiff as a statue, his arms crossed and his fierce eyes glaring straight ahead. Carlisle was trying to keep to himself, checking over last night's homework. Sitting right behind him, Alice looked only slightly less then deadly. She was radiating with anger.

I walked past her and sat in my desk. Carlisle smiled at me. I smiled back but didn't attempt conversation. I did what I thought the best thing to do was to ignore everyone and concentrated on my work the entire period.

In Gym, I latched onto Mike before Coach Clapp could poke me into working with Emmett again. This entire mess was his fault, and I didn't want to be associated with him.

I was officially a member of the dark side.

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_You know you like it when she makes you bleed, Ducky.  
_

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	21. Fifteen in Jasper's POV

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**_The Project_**

**_Chapter Fifteen_**

**_Jasper's POV_**

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Every part of me felt messed up about today. My sister was devastated over the loss of Emmett. Gregory had been sort of nice this morning, randomly inviting me to come fishing with him after school on Friday. I hated fishing, but the less intelligent half of me hoped spending time with him would help. I said yes. I also let Bella break down my outer barrier.

I let Bella Swan, my sister's biggest enemy- a girl too observant for _my_ good- inside of my head.

As soon as it was lunch time, I dashed to the Nurse's office to see how Rosalie was doing. She was moping in a chair in the corner. I wandered over to her side and asked, "Did you call him yet?"

She nodded. I held out my hand, pulling her to her feet and leading her into the hallway. We ran into Edward and Bella.

Edward's eyes trained on Rosalie. I could tell that he could see how different she was because of this. The pride in her step had withered, and her eyes were hollow and lost. Edward neutrally greeted us, "Hi." I knew he was evasively offering his help. Don't ask how I knew- I just knew him like that.

"Edward, will you walk her to lunch? I want to talk to Bella." I glanced meaningfully at him.

Edward collected her in an affectionate hold. She leaned trustingly on him. Rose could know that _my_ friend, at least, would support her. If he didn't, I'd have to find a way to kick his ass. No friend of mine would ever get away with fucking with my sister. Simple and easy- they would have to be punished for playing with her heartstrings. Black belts included.

Bella began to shuffle after them, and I wandered on beside her. I struck up a conversation. "So, Bella. I was thinking about what you said earlier."

'_I want to be your friend, Jasper.'_

She glanced at me sideways. I offered her a tiny, true, smile. "If you want to be friends, I guess we can try it out."

She smirked at me. "Chess this weekend?"

I felt my entire mood just lift a few levels. Chess? She just invited me to play chess? A woman after my own heart! "Sure."

I dodged some passing-by kids as we entered the lunchroom. She asked me, "Whose house?

Her coming to my house was not necessarily a great idea. I didn't want her to happen across one of mine and Gregory's bad days. Occasionally our arguments got so heated I hit him. He didn't hit me back, he just grabbed my wrists to stop me. The last two times that happened I ended up bursting into tears and locking myself in my room for a few days. Sometimes I just couldn't take so much stress and emotion stirring in me at the same time.

There was _no_ way I wanted Bella to witness something like that. I'd probably die of shame. But I didn't want to make a bad impression on her dad before I even had a chance to make an impression onto _her_.

I sighed just so slightly. "Mine?"

"Okay." She instantly accepted the offer with a smile. She was such an open and good person. Maybe I wouldn't regret allowing her to get closer to me. Maybe she was right, and we could be friends.

"Hi, Bella." A male's voice greeted from behind us. I scowled when I recognized it as Cullen's voice. I was nudged aside a few inches as the smaller boy forced himself in between the two of us. His arm wrapped around Bella's shoulders**, **and his eyes locked with mine. The look he gave me said more then he'd ever speak out loud.

In boy-language, he was saying 'She's mine, step off, or we're going to fight for her.'

I resisted a smirk. _Bring it on, shrimp._

"Is this guy bothering you again?" He asked somewhat scathingly.

I glanced the once-over and snorted, both confident in myself, and roaring to disprove his misplaced confidence in himself. "Like you could do anything about it if I was."

His face hardened with determination. "Do you want to test that theory?"

I scowled yet again, about to accept the challenge. However, Bella intervened. She twirled right on top of our line of hostility, forcibly making us shift farther apart. Bella tried to soothe her man- _oh_ how that thought boiled my blood- but he totally ignored her.

We were in a full-blown glare battle. It would be death by eye-fight. He knew just as well as I did that I had settled my sights onto Bella. There was something about her that forced me to her. She was the first person to see through my mask. She was the first to try to pull my walls down and look at the _real_ me.

How could I _not_ be interested in a woman like her?

As soon as we reached the edge of the lunchroom**, **my eyes were drawn away from Cullen. Edward and Emmett were the first things I saw. Emmett looked more pissed then usual, while Edward looked just about ready to spit acid.

And then my eyes found my sister. Alice and Esme were unsuccessfully comforting her while she stood there sobbing.

My entire focus of life shifted. Carlisle was not a threat. Bella was not on my mind. I could only process two things. _My_ sister was crying, and _I_ didn't know why.

_I have a guess, though._

I marched right up to Emmett, practically shoving my chest against his as I glared at him. He shifted back a few inches. Not looking away from his furious face, I snapped, "Edward, why is she crying again?"

He was supposed to be looking out for her! _God!_ Must I do everything myself?

"He called her a slut." Edward promptly answered me.

Whatever conversation might have followed in the next fifteen seconds totally went over my head. That sick, ugly word set off a really bad- forgotten until now- memory of mine.

_Fourth grade__ was an __unusually hard year for me. A few of mom's guy friends from the army had come back from the service, so I was left with the neighbor lady a lot so mom could bar hop with them. She wasn't an alcoholic or anything, but she liked to have her fun like most women in their early thirties did._

_The school year was nearly over, but I dreaded the summer. In the summer, we were moving to Forks. Mom was getting married to this new guy. I forget his name, actually._

"_I heard my dad talking about Jasper's mom, too." A girl from my class whispered to her friend. I had very good hearing, I had come to learn. I instantly stiffened. What about my mom?_

_The boy she was talking to snorted rudely. "I heard she's got like fifty guys she keeps going out with."_

_What!?_

_I swung around to glare at the pair of them. The girl glanced at me with wide eyes. The boy, though, continued to ramble. "Yeah, my brother says she probably sleeps with all of them. She's such a big slut!"_

_I was nine at the time of this conversation. I knew what a 'slut' was, though. I learned it from TV! It was a dirty lady who had non-romantic sexual relations with a guy she didn't even know. Sometimes for money!_

"_Hey!" I snapped in outrage. "What did you just call my mom?"_

_He glared at me and snorted. He was bigger then me- I think he was a fifth grader. Crossing his arms_**, **_he slowly repeated, "A big slut."_

_I punched him so hard I split my fist open, and he lost a loose tooth._

My mind refocused on the present. When I was mentally coherent again, I asked, both furious and slightly disbelieving that Emmett could ever say a thing like this about Rosalie, "You called her a slut?"

"She acts like one." He answered with a detached coolness.

I wasn't even thinking when I lashed out at him. I felt my hard fist meet the bridge of his nose a second later. He was lucky I didn't break it. With a mighty grunt, Emmett was literally sent flying onto his back a half a foot away.

Instinct to fight and protect the other member of my little pride made me leap for Emmett. I was going to kill him. Beat his face in, stab him in the chest, choke the life out of him. I'd let Rosalie choose how he would die.

Before I could make contact, a small but very strong hand bit into the flesh on my arm. I hissed under my breath as my arm was bent behind my shoulders,and Alice more or less knocked me into a submissive kneel.

The little harpy shoved me forward and forcefully stomped her foot onto my unheld arm- the right one. I winced at the blistering pressure and started to struggle. I felt the tendons in my left shoulder screech in protest, so I fell motionless.

Alice sounded loyally irritated when she ordered, like I had any other choice, "Jasper, leave him alone!"

Her foot was busting the sensitive tissue in my forearm. I could already feel the blood starting to swell into a bruise as my nerves began to weep from the pain. I ignored pride and dignity when I nearly cried, "Alice let go! You're hurting me!"

Alerted by my declaration of distress, Edward violently shoved Alice off of me. I leaned back so I was sitting on my heels and bit my bottom lip as I rubbed my arm.

_Fucking hell- ouch much?_

I was surprised to see Carlisle kneel down beside me and offer me a hand. I took it without thinking and let him help me struggle to my feet. I then rubbed my strained shoulder. This time I had to grind my teeth to stop the tears, which wanted so badly to fall. I was going to need a heating pad for this or something.

Edward took natural charge of the newly created group as he glared his cousin down. His hard words rang into the ears of all opposing when he warned, "Stay away from us."

Alice glowered hatefully at him before turning away, helping Esme and Angela fret over Emmett's bleeding nose as they led him across the room.

I looked behind me to see who had aligned with us. Edward was fawning over Rose, trying to calm her down. Carlisle and Bella just stood there staring at me- looking confused.

I was confused too. However the hell it happened, the universe just fissured.

I gestured for Rosalie to come over to me, and she stumbled into my outstretched arms. Hugging her tightly against my chest, I led her towards the parking lot. Gregory would be here soon.

I was happy to hear three sets of footsteps behind us.

-----------------------

Out of instinct and routine, I waited outside of the Computer Programming class as usual. Tanya and Marcus wandered over to me. Tanya asked, wide-eyed, "What happened at lunch?"

I heard Jane and Maria join me an instant later. I hated all the attention on me. Rosalie was the leader; I was the shadow. This sudden light was frightening.

"Emmett called her a slut, so I hit him. Alice practically jumped me for it." I answered her query angrily.

I felt something lightly bump into me. Glancing over my shoulder, I saw Bella. Smiling a bit, I pulled her closer to me to listen. She was officially on Team Hale-Whitlock now; she could be in on even classified conversations.

Tanya was fuming at my report. "Emmett's such a jerk."

Marcus suddenly frowned at Tanya. It was odd seeing that. Tanya was exclusively part of his crew. Because it involved Alice- this was affecting more then just the regular group. "You're not being very fair to him, Tanya. From what Esme's told me, Emmett feels really bad. He thinks this is Rosalie's fault."

"It was clearly Emmett's fault." Tanya insisted.

"What makes you think so?" Marcus asked indifferently.

Was he fucking blaming Rosalie for this? I frowned, glaring him down. Traitor! "You've known Rosalie for like five years. She'd never do anything to hurt Emmett! You should know that."

"Jane!" I naturally bristled when I heard Alec's voice calling to his twin from across the hallway. Aro was with him. Without thought or hesitation, Marcus left us to join the duo.

Jane glanced sideways at me, then cast a longing look at her brother. With a resigned sigh, she silently tore herself away from my side and started to leave. Us remaining four all glared after them.

The division was most _clearly_ reaching more than Rosalie's immediate pack.

Maria glanced at Tanya suddenly. "Weren't you supposed to meet Kate before seventh period?"

Tanya looked at the wall clock. "Right. I'll see you guys later." The pretty blonde hurried down the hall in pursuit of her sister. Maria waved and scampered off. I started walking down the hall with Bella.

This was insane.

"What's wrong?" Bella asked me quietly.

I muttered darkly to mostly myself. "Everything. Things shouldn't be like this. We shouldn't all be ready to rip each other apart over something this small."

Every one of us had overcome some obstacles in life with some of the others. Maybe they came from Marcus' group. Maybe we came from Rosalie's. Maybe some even came from James' disbanded group. Whatever the case, we were all somehow connected through other people. How could a break up, no matter how vicious it did become, create such an instant and vast rift?

I halted outside of the office and turned to Bella. "I have to go this way. I'll see you tomorrow."

She nodded, and I hurried off to German class. I dutifully ignored Peter and Alec, as usual.

Trig was where I really felt the hostility. I took my usual seat, receiving the cold shoulder from Alice, and an unhappy glare from Marcus.

I wasn't usually afraid of people, but Marcus was a person to fear. He was seriously hardcore, and not technically good news. I shifted away from him uncomfortably, more or less on the edge of my seat.

In Personal Finance, I actually served a purpose. I happened to sit in between Alice and Edward. That stopped them from getting into a fight with one another.

The very air on my right side seemed to char with Alice's painfully obvious ire. Both Edward and I attempted to ignore it as we discussed the different interest rates on apartments. It was for our final project.

Even keeping busy, ignoring Alice was difficult.

_Life was seriously going to suck now._

* * *

**Teaser for c16:** "Do you miss your mom?" I dared to ask him.

_All reviewers who say more than "update soon" or "great chapter" will get an extended teaser!

* * *

_


	22. Chapter 16: Conversations

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Alice was not in school the next three days.

Soon, it was Saturday. Charlie dropped me off in front of the Hale residence at noon. I was scheduled to stay until after dinner, but he said I could call him at any time and he'd pick me up.

We were both trying to be aware of the Rosalie factor. I still wasn't sure about her. The only reason she had been less evil than usual was because she was upset. That did not mean we were going to have any reason to get along.

Rosalie opened the door a few seconds after I knocked on it. She barely spared me a glance before she tried to get rid of me. "Jasper is in his room. The only room down that hallway."

She gestured to said hallway. I happily left our greeting at that and wandered down the hall. Jasper was lying on a large bed right under a window, buried under a swathe of papers.

I took a second to take in the room. He had one of those short dressers that only have two drawers on it. Set on top of that was an expensive-looking chess set. Two chairs were waiting to be filled.

He had a redwood desk inside of his closet. The doors had been taken off of it. On top of the desk were a computer, and a large plastic container. The floors were wooden, which was surprising. Most bedrooms were carpeted.

"Jasper?" I called attention to myself finally.

He peered over his book then smiled. "Hi, Bella."

Sitting up, he shoved his papers aside. A few of them fell to the floor. With a growl, he snatched them up. "So much homework for English!" He explained. "It's really irritating."

I wandered into the room and sat on one of the chairs by the chess set. Jasper flounced over and settled into the other one.

"Do you want the marble or the ivory?" He asked, gesturing to the board.

"How much did this cost?" I asked in shock. I couldn't imagine anything fancier than wooden pieces like Edward's. Phil only had plastic!

Jasper shrugged. "My mom bought it for me when we visited India. I was six. She said it was really cheap there compared to what it would cost in America."

I suppose that made sense. Elephants were in India, so the ivory couldn't be that hard to come across. Who knows if they have marble quarries?

Anyway, the black marble was right in front of me, so I decided I would use that one. White goes first, so Jasper made his move. We played in silence for a while before it started to get annoying.

"How's Rosalie?" I asked. I really would rather talk about _anything_ as long as we were talking. It was unusual. I liked the quiet, and I never minded it before. However, when I was with Jasper, I just wanted to carry a conversation.

He seemed very comfortable with talking about her. "She's better. Carlisle and Edward were here with her yesterday. They are coming over for dinner."

"No fights broke out?" I joked, smirking at him.

Jasper chuckled a little. "No, but there's always today if you want to watch one."

I rolled my eyes.

After a short silence Jasper spoke again. "Actually, I think I could get along with your immigrant."

I snapped my head up and glared at Jasper. "Don't call him that! He's a legal citizen, he was born in Hawaii when his parents were vacationing there, and he came early."

Jasper grinned at me suddenly.

"What?" I asked, slightly defensive. I didn't trust the sudden attention.

"Check."

I glanced at the board in surprise. I guess I was easily distracted. I was never put in check this early on in the game.

For a while, we were silent. I evaded his checkmate, and now we were about even again.

"Jasper?" I glanced up and saw General Hale standing in the doorway.

"Yeah?" Jasper asked without even turning to look.

After a second General Hale sighed. "Jasper, please come and talk to me in the hallway."

Jasper rolled his eyes before getting up and wandering into the hallway. I listened to them through the half opened door.

"Jasper, is your friend staying for dinner?" General Hale asked.

"How should I know?" Jasper answered.

The general sighed impatiently. "Well go in and ask her."

"Bella!" Jasper shouted to me. "Are you staying for dinner?"

I smiled a little. "If you want me."

"Jasper, _must_ you do that?" General Hale asked with hushed anger. There was a three second silence.

"No, sir. I'm sorry." Jasper eventually answered. His voice was suddenly very small. I imagined he was probably being glared at. His stepfather just struck me as the glaring type.

There was a mumbled exchange that I didn't catch before the door swung open and Jasper came stalking back into the room. His footsteps were more staccato then before, and he huffed when he sat down. He was irritated.

I was staring imploringly at him. I didn't expect him to tell me what suddenly shifted his mood, so naturally I was surprised when he did.

"I can't wait until I turn eighteen." He started in a bitter tone. "I hate this house. It's so wrong."

"What's wrong about it?" I asked curiously.

"Everything. The man who owns it. It's too big. The walls are white." He frowned. "My mom hated white walls. She liked them yellow. She liked our small house, because 'it has a quaint feeling'."

Jasper gazed out the window and sighed.

"Do you miss your mom?" I dared to ask him.

He nodded.

"Where will you move to?" I asked him, for a subject change.

A small smile graced his features. "Back to Hoquiam. My mom never sold the house when we moved up here, and she willed it to me the day my dad died. It's technically mine now. Gregory pays the property taxes once a year because it's what mom wanted."

That was interesting.

"Is Rosalie going with you?" I asked. The two of them had a bond that was rare with siblings, let alone step-siblings.

Jasper shook his head. "She'll be here forever, probably. I don't think she has the heart to move away from her dad. She wouldn't take the only thing he has left away from him."

The more I was taught about her, the better a person Rosalie seemed to be. I couldn't honestly say I believed it, because I had never seen it for myself. I suppose she had never seen the gentle side of me, either.

I made a mental note to give some effort to be less hostile towards her in the future. That was about the best I was willing to do, though.

"Why don't you tell me something about you for once, Bella?" Jasper gazed seriously at me.

"What do you want to know?" I asked him.

After a second, he smirked. "Let's make a deal." I eyed him suspiciously. He ignored my instant reaction and continued, "We each get to ask each other one question. It's a question you have to answer, no matter what."

I was wary of this deal. Was there any single thing I wanted to know about him, so desperately, that I would spill my heart out for it?

_Yes._

"Okay, you ask me first." I accepted reluctantly.

He just looked down and moved his knight. He looked thoughtful, which couldn't mean anything good for me.

"Okay, I got it." He announced suddenly. "Have you seen The Lion King?"

"Who hasn't?" I asked with all seriousness.

"Imagine this. Both Edward and Alice are hanging precariously on the edge of a cliff like Mufasa, before he falls into the herd of wildebeest."

I did not like where this was headed.

"You are where Scar should be. You can chose to let them both fall, but if you want to pull one to safety, you can only pick one. Tell me who and why. Or, why you wouldn't choose either." He smirked at me.

I frowned. "If I answer this, will you answer it too? And it can't count as my question."

He shrugged. "Whatever."

I sighed. After considering it, I had my answer. "I would choose Edward."

Jasper was not able to mask his astonishment. I nodded. I felt so absolutely hideous about even having thought this over.

"I have reasons." I watched him force his shock away as he settled back to hear this.

"Edward is a very motivated, well-rounded person. He seems pretty hard working, which leads me to believe he could succeed in almost anything he does." I began the explanation.

Jasper nodded once for me to continue.

"Alice." I felt my heart throbbing with sorrow. "She seems to have some serious emotional issues. I'm sure she can get some professional help, but then there will always be the possibility she'll spiral downward again. It just doesn't seem fair to her to not let _her _fall."

I felt sixty sorts of disgusting. What the hell did I just say? Did I really just imply Alice should die because she would not be as useful to society as her cousin?

I glared furiously at Jasper. "Your turn."

"I would abandon both of them and find Rosalie. Once I had hunted her down, I would make sure she stayed far away from the gorge." He answered.

I shook my head determinedly. "You have to give me a real answer."

He gave it little thought. "I would save Alice. She's mostly independent, and needs _very _little from other people to survive. People like her make it far in the real world. Edward requires a lot more effort then you could realize, not knowing him."

"What do you mean?" I asked curiously.

"When Edward was a kid, six or something, his dad was on an extended military thing. He was being raised solely by his mother for almost three years." Jasper began the history lesson.

"From what Alice remembers, he was a seriously wild little boy. His mother didn't know what to do with him. She's entirely too nice to be anything but gentle with her kid, even now."

I nodded. Edward's mother and Alice's mother were twins. Judging from the way Alice's mom assumed her daughter could take care of herself, it would be safe to guess Edward's mom was the same way.

Jasper continued. "Edward's dad came home and very swiftly put a stop to Edward's rebellious nature. Edward needs constant monitoring. If he doesn't have a very obvious boundary, he'll fall apart. It happens every time his dad has to leave. Unless he joins the military, he's going to have a hard time excelling in any job. He's naturally too dependent for that."

I suppose that would explain how responsive Edward was to the teachers in school.

It was interesting to think about. I sort of felt bad for Edward, though. He would need someone to help him become more self-reliant later in life, or he was going to run into serious problems.

"You know a lot about everyone, don't you Jasper?" I asked.

He nodded. "When you're doing nothing but watching since you're eleven, you tend to pick up on things."

"That ties into my question for you." I announced suddenly.

He looked surprised. "Really?"

I nodded. "So here's what I already know. You have no close friends. You only let yourself trust Rosalie. You resent your step-father, and you refuse to enter a committed relationship."

He scowled at me. He probably guessed where this was headed. I could imagine he would be quite unhappy. Oh well, he set up this idiot game. Now he would suffer the repercussions.

I leaned forward and asked, "Why are you afraid of letting people in?"

* * *

**Teaser for c17:** The look of absolute heart-break that was painted on his face was so convincing I wouldn't be surprised if he was actually re-feeling these old emotions.

_All reviewers who say more than "update soon" or "great chapter" will get an extended teaser!_

* * *


	23. Chapter 17: Shifted Attentions

**

* * *

**

Jasper glared at me. It was not a playful glare, either. It reflected the- and I quote myself- "deadly" glare he had last Thursday in school when Rosalie was crying on his shoulder.

It took all I had not to shrink away from him. I didn't know what it was about how quickly he could shift his moods, but it really intimidated me.

It was not actually how fast he did it. It was how passionately he did it. If he was happy, he seemed genuinely blissful. If he was angry, he seemed ridiculously furious. I had never met a person like him before, one that could feel so strongly about everything.

It was probably the newness of the situation that scared me the most.

"You're irrefutably malevolent, Bella." Jasper bitterly informed me.

I smirked. "Now, now. Let's not be so vicious with the name calling. Malevolent is a bit harsh, isn't it? I'll give you occasionally underhanded, but that's about as evil as I get."

Jasper growled at me and looked down at the long abandoned chess game.

I forced myself to be considerate and offered gently, "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. You can tell me your favorite flavor of Jell-O. I'd settle for that."

A long and rather sullen silence stretched between us before he quietly announced, "My favorite is lemon."

I smiled. "Mine, too."

He snapped his head up, his bright blue eyes smoldering. "It's because we're both igneous."

It was that exact moment that I felt the little flicker that always seemed to spring to life when we were together ignite. That tiny little spark blazed with a fiery passion, and I felt myself being totally drawn into it. I was the moth to Jasper's light.

Jasper had just completely accepted my extended hand of friendship. Now that I had his trust, I wasn't letting it go for anything.

Jasper ran his fingers through his thick honey curls as he let out a long sigh. "Fine, I'll tell you. A deal is a deal." He offered me a tiny smile. I got the nagging suspicion he was telling me because he wanted to, because he wanted _someone_ to know, not because of some stupid bet.

"Dad died when I was six. I don't really remember him anymore, but I did at first. I remember that I had a pretty hard time for a while after he was gone." Jasper frowned slightly.

"It was just me and mom for the next three years. I liked it that way- just me and mom." His eyes seemed to be getting darker the longer he talked. "She used to tell me I was the only man she ever wanted in her life. I always knew she only did it to make herself feel better. I knew she needed that reassurance so that being alone didn't hurt her as much."

I was creating a vivid mental image of this. I don't know what she looked like, but I could suddenly see his mother and him when he was a decade younger, sitting in a little yellow room.

"I let myself get used to that idea, Bella. Just the two of us. That's how I liked it. Then she met Gregory at some local thing for military personnel. It was just four months, that's how long it took before he proposed to her. A total of six months after they met, they were getting married, and we moved here to Forks." He paused for a second, looking rather loathingly out his window. I couldn't even begin to imagine what was on his mind right now.

He started talking suddenly. "I _hated_ them at first. I hated Gregory for taking my mom from me. I hated Rosalie for getting along with _my_ mom. I hated mom, too, for messing everything up."

Jasper's eyes grew distant and his voice softer. "I can hold one hell of a grudge. For years I cut myself off from all of them, even my mother. She tried to get me to warm up to Gregory and Rose. She tried to help me fit into the new family. She tried _so_ hard. She never realized that the more she pushed the more I detested all three of them."

It was in that second I figured out what had frightened me earlier. Jasper was a very expressive person. The look of absolute heart-break that was painted on his face was so convincing I wouldn't be surprised if he was actually re-feeling these old emotions. _I _could almost feel those emotions.

And, I could guess what came next. Turns out I was right.

"She was just helping with an experiment that day. She was supposed to be home for dinner. She was never late. _Not. Ever._ Every single night for thirteen years she expected whoever her family might have been to be eating dinner at six." Jasper's eyes never left the window. I was positive he was not looking outside. He was reliving the memory.

"Quarter after six I started getting nervous. Half after, I was going out of my mind with worry. Seven rolled around and I actually started begging Gregory to call the base and just see what was holding her up. I had to know, I would have just had a stress induced heart attack if I didn't find out what could possibly make her an hour late."

Jasper finally turned his attention onto me. His eyes were shiny with the tears he clearly wanted to shed. "He did call, and that's how we found out about the accident. There was a leak in one of the fuel lines, and the sub she was in just exploded. They said they had located all of the bodies."

I felt myself sharing in his pain. It was all too easy to imagine myself in his shoes. Imagine Renee in that accident.

He shook his head. "It was the one time Rosalie or myself actually needed Gregory around. He couldn't be here for us, though. He just broke down completely after the funeral. He became a robot. We actually didn't even see him for the first three weeks. Rosalie had an alarm clock, and that's how we got to school. I learned how to cook some of the stuff in mom's cookbooks, and that's how we were fed.

"Gregory went to a support group for a while. Rosalie had Emmett here for her, and because I rejected her, she needed to lean on him." He sighed.

After a few seconds of silence I asked, "What about you?"

"I shut everything out. Teachers, doctors, even Rosalie's friends offered their help, but I mentally flinched away from them all. I didn't even want to let myself get closer to Rosalie, that was just an accident. I'm glad for that, though, because I do love her. Only because she will never hurt me, though."

I realized that was both the end of his story, and the answer to my question.

Jasper forced himself to be distant because he was afraid of the pain. He was afraid of losing another person that he allowed himself to love. That was very, very sad. Nobody should have to fear loving someone.

"I'm not going anywhere, Jasper." I earnestly promised him. He had trusted me enough to confide in me, and that's really all I wanted. Now it was my turn to give him something he wanted, too.

I couldn't make any promises except for one: as long as he needs a friend I was just a phone call away. He seemed to realize that because he smiled at me. One of those soft, happy smiles that looked so right on his gentle face.

"Bella, do you want to watch a movie or something?" He offered lightly.

I smiled at him. "Sure."

----------------------

We watched _Hostage_ with Rosalie, because we let her pick and that was the one she wanted to see. Jasper sat in between us to eliminate any possibility of a catfight.

At five, Carlisle and Edward arrived.

Carlisle seemed pleasantly surprised to see me. However, his attention was soon required in the kitchen. Rosalie informed him and Edward that if they wanted dinner they were going to help make it.

Jasper and I returned to his room to finish our chess game. With the both of us concentrated, he crushed me in less then ten moves.

Dinner went fine. General Hale didn't join us. I didn't even think he was home. After dinner, I was surprised. Carlisle said he wanted to talk to me and retreated into the kitchen again. I leaned on the counter and gave him my attention.

"Bella, you don't like me as much as you like Jasper." Carlisle suddenly stated. It was very obvious he wasn't asking me that, he was _telling_ me that.

I was taken by surprise. "What?"

He nodded insistently. "You can't see yourself with him, but I can. You look at him with such earnestness. I think you have an affinity to him."

I frowned in confusion. Was he right?

After a few seconds, his light laugh broke the silence. "And you say _I_ act innocently out of the loop."

I shook my head. "Don't distract me. Are you accusing me of cheating on you?" I narrowed my eyes in suspicion. I never took him for the overly jealous type, but you never know. I didn't know him well enough to make that decision.

Thinking that made me realize he was right. What kind of a girlfriend didn't even know if her boyfriend was the jealous type?

"No, not at all." Carlisle assured me. "Tell me, what do you feel like when we're together?"

I scrambled for a few words that would be suitable. I couldn't think of a few, I could only think of one.

"Natural." I offered with a slight shrug. It may sound crazy, but that's exactly what I felt like. Totally at ease, particularly trusting, and slightly more then just fond of him.

Carlisle leaned against the wall and sighed. "Yeah, me too."

"That's a bad thing?" I asked skeptically.

"I don't know." He frowned.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized where he was coming from. When I look at, for example, Marcus and Esme; I never saw natural.

I saw two complete opposites who, for whatever unknown reason, were drawn to one another like magnets. A wolf and a kitten.

When I looked at Peter and Alice, I saw the two halves of a strip of Velcro stuck together. Peter was like her dragon, and Alice was just a lost puppy.

If I looked at Carlisle and myself, I saw the stars and the moon. Two things that were not opposites, but things that were supposed to be together.

I frowned with him now. "I think I understand."

He brightened. "Really? That's good, because I am at a loss for how to explain it."

"We can still be friends, right?" I asked, suddenly afraid of losing him completely. It really _was_ a great feeling, being with him. It was so simple to just talk to him. Tell him everything and anything nobody else would ever hear you admit.

Carlisle Cullen was serious best friend material, and I had absolutely no problem just being that for him. If he wanted and needed a best friend, he could find one in me. We were already at that point if you think about it. Just friends with benefits!

He smiled. "I wouldn't have it any other way." After a moment, he warned me, "You do realize this gives me even more rights to want to protect you, though. A boyfriend has to listen to you and keep you happy. A best friend does whatever he wants if he thinks it's in your best interest."

I chuckled with him as we joined the others in the living room. There wasn't a single doubt in my mind that he was going to remind me of that in our future together.

* * *

**Teaser for c18:** What scared me the most was that I believed it was the latter.

_All reviewers who say more than "update soon" or "great chapter" will get an extended teaser!_

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	24. Chapter 18: Layers of Alice

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It was the last day of school before Thanksgiving break. Most of the art class had finished our paintings. In particular, both Alice and myself had finished.

The second Alice sat beside me, she asked, "Okay, are we showing each other today?"

I nodded. After a hesitation, she frowned, "You show me yours first."

_So, I am sure we've all seen the official President's portrait of __John F. Kennedy__, right? The really drab one with his arms crossed and his head lowered? It's very depressing, and very emotional. He came into office during a hard time for our country. The picture was representative of that__._

I flipped it over and held it up so it was facing her. It was a reflection of Kennedy's picture, because it was obvious she was having a hard time in her life.

The picture was of Alice with her arms dangling at her sides, and her head lowered. The color pallet was a strange one. The background was very bright, yellows and reds and blues. It was supposed to express the happy outer shell Alice showed people.

_She_ was painted in various shades of gray. There was no color on the defeated little girl I drew.

The picture really seemed to hit Alice hard. Her eyes were rather wide, and she was silent. Alice was never silent.

In my portrait, the girl had long, curly hair and her eyes were closed. I did that so nobody in the school would start asking questions about Alice, so none of the teachers could recognize her. _Alice_ knew who it was, though. I could see it in her eyes.

"You put a lot of work into that." Alice quietly commented.

I set it back down on the desk and agreed, "I did. Do you like it?"

"Not really," she whispered.

"I figured you wouldn't." I answered her.

Alice gave herself a little shake and picked her own picture up. She sighed and then explained, "You said I should draw something from the heart. This is something. It's _everything_, actually."

I nodded, preparing myself for nothing happy.

Alice turned it around and, even though I was 'prepared', I was still startled by its intensity.

There were five people in the picture. On the left stood a man in a suit. He stood with his back facing the center and hands in his pocket. His face looked disinterested.

On the right stood a woman, her back also facing the center. Her face was aloof as well, but her arms were crossed.

In the center of the picture sat a small girl, maybe the age of fourteen. I knew immediately that it was Alice. I'm not sure how I knew, because the girl had no face drawn on her.

She was holding her arms out in front of her, looking at them. Her hands, arms, and shirt were stained red. It was blood. A single teardrop shimmered in front of the shoulder, as if it had rolled off of her right cheek.

There was a hand on each of her shoulders. The one on her right, the one where the fingers were just brushing her, belonged to a tall boy that had thick bronze hair and gentle green eyes. He was smiling gently at whoever was looking at the picture.

The other boy was about the same size as the girl. His hand was clenched, gripping the collar of her shirt fiercely. He had white-blonde hair. His face was twisted into a scowl, and his eyes were black voids. They were supposed to be amber. It was _supposed_ to be Peter.

I realized the two adults that were shunning all three kids were Alice's parents.

I felt my heart start to cry for her. I figured the picture out without needing her to explain it. The younger age and the blood meant it was a few years ago. It was after James bled to death on her, as Esme said happened.

The reason her face was gone was because she felt lost. Her parents were not willing to reach out to her; she didn't know who she was.

I understood Edward in this picture. He was barely touching her because Edward was not a forward person. He would have offered his silent, gentle support.

It was Peter that shocked me. He looked wicked, and he was clutching onto Alice very violently. I thought Alice was grateful to Peter. Did this mean she felt like he was in control of her? It was what it looked like.

I scrambled to become coherent. "Alice that's… wow."

I couldn't think of a better word to cover it. It was expressive, and powerful, and heart wrenching.

It was _wow_.

Alice sighed and set it back on the table. "Yeah, I know."

That was all either of us said for the rest of the period.

-----------------------

During lunch, I didn't sit with the new group. Edward, Tanya, Maria, Carlisle, and Rosalie all sat with each other.

I was yanked away by Jasper, and we sat alone at a corner table. Rosalie's table was still in our line of sight, as was Emmett's.

Angela and Emmett were sitting quite close, laughing with each other. Jane was there, but Esme and Alice were not.

The girls were at Marcus' table. Esme was in an animated conversation with Aro and Kate. Alec and Marcus both looked unhappy over something. Peter had his arm around Alice, and she was snuggling close, smiling at him. It was shocking. She looked genuinely happy. Either she was a mind-blowing actress, or she was in too deep with him to get out on her own.

What scared me the most was that I believed it was the latter.

"What are you thinking so hard about?" Jasper asked out of nowhere, making me jump a little.

"Nothing." I lied immediately.

He frowned unhappily at me. I should have figured he would see right through me. Not only was I a bad liar, but we also had a connection. He just knew things about me.

"Really, it's nothing that important." I insisted.

"Whatever you say, Snowflake." He grinned at me. I blushed a pale shade of red.

"Snowflake?" I asked rhetorically. I didn't actually need an elaboration. He was messing around with our rock joke again.

I sighed. "Well that's unfair. What am I supposed to call you? Feldspar?" Diorite was made up primarily of minerals in the feldspar family.

"If you want to." Jasper shrugged. I laughed a little. That was _so_ his nickname now!

"You know," he started. "Rosalie is a feldspar, too. Orthoclase to be exact."

I glanced skeptically at him. "What makes you think so?"

He smirked. "Because, it's a durable rock used in things like glasses frames and porcelain. Rose is a person of many uses. She's not one dimensional."

I nodded for him to continue. He chuckled. "And, when you polish your way down to the true heart of the rock, you get a stunning gem that many people would give a lot for."

I smiled. Just through that, it was obvious he had a high opinion of his stepsister. I had to disagree, though. "I think that she's peridotite."

Jasper scowled at me. "Why?"

I could understand his sudden defensiveness. Peridotite was a rather ugly rock. It was grainy and an unattractive blend of green, yellow, and black.

"Because it makes up most of Earth's mantle. Without the mantle, our planet wouldn't exist." I started. The mantle was the deep, strong layer of the earth. It was the layer we all needed for structure. I think the group division made it very clear that Rosalie was the mantle of these people.

Jasper looked interested now. I finished on a note that was sure to make him happy. "Almost every diamond ore contains some peridotite in it."

He watched Rosalie for a few seconds before emitting one laugh. "Yeah, Rosalie is peridotite."

Jasper stuffed half of his hot dog into his mouth, setting his feet up on the table. I forked a quarter of a tomato into my mouth.

I watched as a darker skinned boy, a freshman by his scrawny size, walked a few feet away from Marcus's table. He said something, and Peter pulled away from Alice to walk over to him. Jasper followed my gaze this time, and I watched him frown.

Peter turned and motioned for Alice. She stiffened and shook her head slightly. Peter took what I would call a threatening step forward and violently pointed to the spot in front of him.

Alice flinched and left the table, hurrying over to his side.

Jasper looked very alert all of a sudden. Marcus shouted at Peter, which drew in the attention of everyone in ear-radius of him.

Esme gently tried to get Marcus to back off by setting a hand on his chest and whispering to him. Caius muttered something to Marcus, and then went over to Peter, Alice, and the kid. After a short consultation, all four of them left.

Jasper growled, but just sat there. He didn't go and see what was happening, or find Edward, or _anything_.

"Do you think she's going to be okay?" I fretted quietly. A completely non-verbal motion made her jump like a startled cat! I suddenly understood the reason for Peter's tight grip in her portrait.

Jasper glanced at me, smiling tensely. "No, she'll be fine. She always is."

"Are you sure?" I asked fearfully.

Jasper rolled his right sleeve up and exposed the under-side of his forearm. It had a fading bruise on it. "This was from Thursday. All she did was step on me, and five days later it's still damaged. Really, Bella, it's fine. Peter wouldn't stand a chance against her."

I sighed. I would have felt better if we sent Edward after them. However, I trusted that Jasper knew what he was talking about. He seemed to realize my doubt, and attempted to quell it with a story.

"Alice was alone with Victoria in Seattle one night about a year ago. Some guy tried to attack Victoria, and Alice fought him off." Jasper smiled again; this time it looked believable. "She can take care of herself."

I sighed but relented. "Fine."

"Besides," he added after a second, "Edward loses against her every time. She has more fire, training, and anger to put into her fighting then he does."

Jasper stuffed the other half of his hot dog into his mouth and let his gaze deift back over to Rosalie's table. Aro had appeared over there. He handed Rosalie a letter, then wandered off. Rosalie stuffed it into her pocket without even reading it. The lunch bell rang a second later.

"I'll see you after school, Snowflake." Jasper grinned at me.

I chuckled. "After school, Feldspar."

* * *

**Teaser for c19:** Her eyes shined with a few unshed tears. "It would just be _awful_ to be alone on Christmas, don't you think?"

_All reviewers who say more than "update soon" or "great chapter" will get an extended teaser!_

* * *


	25. Interlude for Chapter Eighteen

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_**Interlude**_

_**Chapter 18.5**_

_**Alec's Pain**_

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It was Wednesday. It was the last day before the four-day Thanksgiving break. I was headed towards the lunch room with Marcus and Esme- as we had just gotten out of our Drama class.

I hated that stupid class. Did I care about Shakespeare? When, in _modern_ life, was I ever going to need to translate this sort of stuff? There was only one thing I could believe in these texts. Love was too complicated and only ended in tragedy.

Disheartened by these sudden thoughts, I sighed loudly and shoved my copy of _King Lear_ into my backpack. Esme glanced at me and asked, "What's wrong?"

"That's a stupid question." I spat out in frustration. What was always wrong?

Jane being upset over Jasper's disinterest in her. Watching Alice and _Peter _together all the time. Trying to stop Tanya from running away from home because she hated it there so much. Take a pick. No matter the direction, the outcome sucked.

"I was just trying to help." Esme muttered under her breath.

"I didn't ask for it." I sharply pointed out.

Half of a second later Marcus slammed me into the lockers. I instinctively winced away from him. His eyes burned and he warned, "Don't treat her like that, Alec."

He said no more. He didn't have to say anything more. The threat in his voice was more than enough warning for me to check my hostility- towards Esme at least. Her shield and sword might cut me down if I didn't.

"Alright, I'm sorry." I promised quietly, pushing his hand away from me. He growled under his breath and returned to Esme's side. She glared at him but he ignored it and continued walking. I trailed after them silently.

My eyes wandered down the hallway a few seconds later. The Art teacher was putting pictures up in the hallway. Most of them were ridiculously well done. It must be the advanced art class.

Alice was in that class. I slowed my pace a little bit and gazed at each frame as I walked, trying to locate hers. She always used oil crayons to color her paintings, rather than actual paint. It shouldn't be too difficult.

I almost tripped over myself when I saw the portrait that the teacher had just finished hanging. I didn't even look for the signature on the picture, I instantly knew Alice had made this one.

I ignored the fine details of the picture at first. I stood for several long seconds trying to adsorb the impact it had on me. Soon after, my eyes were only locked onto the very center of it. Onto the little girl.

It was Alice. She had drawn herself.

I had seen Alice that day, four years ago. I had been at the police station waiting for Tanya to pay some public disturbance ticket she was issued for a party that got too loud and wild in the middle of the night. I saw her, and Marcus and Victoria, coming into the station.

Victoria and Marcus just looked stunned, as if whatever had gotten them covered in blood had startled and confused them. Victoria's eyes were red and swollen from previously shed tears. Marcus was a little green and looked sick.

The two of them were hardened people. Teens, barely more than kids actually, that had struggled through harsh childhoods for very different reasons. Victoria was a shattered lover. Marcus was a fallen leader. How dazed they seemed was to be expected.

Then I saw Alice, and the very world seemed to darken for me. She did not looked stunned or confused. She was not crying or nauseous.

She was broken, and I had known it instantly. Her eyes were wide and blank, and she was paler than freshly fallen snow. No, she was not stunned or confused. She had been shocked. She had been rattled down to her very core.

Never in our lives had she looked so lost to me. Looked so out of place in the world. Instead of carrying herself as if the earth turned for her with each step she took, she looked like a splash of red on a white canvas. A bit literally, too, because she was just soaked in blood. More-so than the other two.

And looking at this picture made one thing very clear to anyone who knew her. She knew she was fucked up. She knew that she could not escape the things that haunted her so when she was forced to live in such an unbalanced world.

One parent ignored her existence, the other didn't give a damn what she was doing or feeling.

Half of her life was for Edward, who was barely strong enough to grip her- let alone support her. He was gentle with her, and he wanted to be a friend for her in her time of need.

The other half belonged to Peter, who had to cling on with every ounce of strength he had to stop her from walking away. He needed to abuse her to make sure she was powerless under his grip.

That's what the outside people meant. I was sure of it.

But Alice knew she didn't need either of them. _Any_ of them, to be technical- because the blue shirt she was wearing in the picture was Jasper's. She kept it on the third hanger, left side of her closet.

Yes, Alice knew that she didn't need them. It was why she was totally ignoring them. It was why she was crying over the blood on her body. She, the very flesh and bone that created her essence, was stained. She was faceless because she was lost. Because she didn't even know what do to anymore to try and clean herself off. Because she couldn't rely on either person hanging onto her to help her escape the lingering reminder of her past.

No, Alice knew she didn't need a friend. She knew she didn't need an owner. She just didn't know _what_ she needed anymore.

Picture-Alice was faceless. She had no expression. She had no eyes. And yet, as I gazed upon the two-by-three foot portrait, I knew her pain. I felt my mouth tug down into the small, hopeless frown that the picture-Alice should be wearing. I felt the missing eyes, as sullen and heavy as rainclouds, boring so deeply into me that my heart and soul was pierced by their intensity.

And I felt myself begin to bleed. I felt my shirt, my harms and hands, begin to soak red with blood. Alice's blood. I felt the hot, sticky wash of regret and guilt begin to drown me.

I had always been there. I had always stalked her shadow and watched her every move. I knew what her walk was supposed to be like. Proud, regal almost, and dignified. She was as graceful as a willow dancing in the breeze. She was not supposed to stumble, and trip, and fall. She was supposed to be able to dance across the rocky path of life effortlessly, because she was Alice Mary Brandon and that was just what was supposed to happen.

But she did stumble. And she did trip. And she did fall. Now she was not willing to let other people pick her up anymore. It was not what she wanted. She wanted to learn how to stand again. She wanted to re-learn how to walk so she could once again float like she was supposed to.

And I knew I had to help her, because I realized that the reason my every fiber began to throb with agony was because I loved her- and her pain was my pain to share.

I didn't have to be her friend. I would never look at her like property. She didn't need to hide inside of who I was, like she was wearing me.

I was not Edward. I was not Peter. I was not Jasper.

I was Alec, and even if it killed me, I was going to dedicate my every ounce of life into giving Alice the strength to stand up and take the first step towards finding the girl she had lost so long ago.


	26. Chapter 19: A Plot Accomplished

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**Three weeks passed. It was Saturday, December 15th. Monday was the first technical day of Christmas break.

I was sitting in Jasper's room with him. We were looking at his rock collection. It was vast, and most of them were hard to come by.

"What are you doing for the break, Bella?" Jasper asked suddenly.

I scowled. "Dad has to go to Utah for some cop thing. I can either go all the way to Ohio, where mom and Phil are; or I can stay at dad's friend's house in La Push."

I really didn't want to do either. If I went to Ohio, I'd have to watch baseball practices or be bored at the hotel for two weeks.

I didn't really know Billy Black that well, and his son Jacob recently turned sixteen. The _last_ thing I wanted was for a hormonal kid and his friends to be spending fourteen days with me.

"You don't look very happy about either option." Jasper observed.

"I'm not." I agreed. My attention was shifted when he handed me a rose quartz to look at. It wasn't a rough ore; it was a polished specimen. It was large and round like a bouncy ball. It looked like pale pink marble.

"I bought that last year." He sighed. "It cost almost sixty dollars, but it was worth it. Mom always said rose quartz was her second favorite stone. It reminds me of her."

I handed it back to him with a smile. Since that day he opened up to me, he'd often told me little facts about his mother. I think he liked sharing his memories of her. It made me feel a little special, that he trusted me enough to do that.

Jasper shifted on the bed, setting his head in my lap. I glanced down at him, and he grinned. Uh oh! A grin was never the product of anything innocent with him.

"What did your devious mind just think of?" I asked him playfully.

"Stay here for the break." Jasper offered. I felt myself die a little on the inside. He wanted me to stay at his house?

Dad knew I butted heads with Rosalie, and he'd never be okay with me being in constant contact with Jasper for that long. Besides, General Hale was not even going to be here.

"He'll never agree to that." I confidently informed him.

Jasper shrugged. "Maybe not. But he wouldn't have a problem if you stayed with Alice, would he?"

I could foil his plan. "I can't even tell you who her parents are. Besides, Alice said she's going to be at Marcus's the whole time."

Jasper sat up and frowned at me. "Stop being so near-sighted. That's why it's perfect! He thinks you're staying with her, and you can just come over here. I can handle the Rosalie factor no problem. And, so you know, Alice's mom and dad own the library."

After a second, he mused, "I suppose you wouldn't have guessed that, though. Her dad is the only one of the whole Brandon clan that didn't get the gray eyes. And her mother has the same color hair as Edward."

Who would have thought hyperactive Alice was the child of two librarians?

I pushed that thought aside to contemplate the offer. I could spend three whole weeks with Jasper. I'd have to suffer Rosalie, use a friend, and lie to my dad.

I think all these shifty people I was in cahoots with were rubbing off on me, because I had no problem with that.

"Alright, let's go find Alice." I smiled.

---------------------

An hour later we had hunted Alice down, explained the plan, and returned to my house. Jasper stayed in the living room, watching TV. Alice and I cornered dad. He was reading the newspaper in the kitchen.

I sat on the chair beside him, staring at him. Alice plopped right onto the table and sighed loudly. Dad peeked over his paper, giving us both a cautious look before lowering the paper.

"Did you girls need something?" He asked.

Alice was the one who started to talk. She recited a very emotional sob story. "Chief Swan, you of all people in this town know how hard this time of year is for me."

Dad frowned a little, looking worried. Apparently, when Alice was still in league with the gang, she got into a lot of trouble during the holidays. It would appear dad had not forgotten.

Alice sighed sadly. "Daddy and mom are doing a lot of renovations to the library right now. I don't think they will be able to spend a lot of time with me this year."

I let myself briefly wonder when they ever _did_ spend time with poor Alice. On a lighter note, I could see dad was melting the more Alice spoke.

Her eyes shined with a few unshed tears. "It would just be _awful_ to be alone on Christmas, don't you think?"

Dad looked startled. He was not expecting a question to arise. I rescued him from having to try to answer.

"Dad." He turned his head to me. "I don't really think it's necessary to spend all that money on me to send me halfway across the country. We can all be happy if you let me stay with Alice at her house. And, that way, I won't be bothersome to Billy."

He was silent for a few seconds as he deliberated. He returned his attention to Alice, "You're sure your mother and father won't mind?"

She plastered on a very convincing smile. I even believed her. "Of course not! They already said they would _love_ to have Bella around." Leaning in a little, she added. "It would be like the sister neither of us have!"

Dad smiled gently. "Well, I hope you girls have fun together."

Alice grinned in triumph and danced into the other room to bother Jasper.

"Thanks, dad!" I gave him a brief hug before I followed Alice. Jasper turned the volume on the TV up a little to mask our conversation as the three of us huddled together.

"Alice, that was pure gold." Jasper praised in admiration. "You could have won an Oscar." The two of them snickered.

I yanked them back into reality. "We have two problems left to solve, guys. We need a system in case dad calls your house to talk to me. And even more important, Rosalie."

"I have that all worked out." Alice informed me. "Tomorrow when I come to whisk you away, I'll tell Charlie to only call between five and eight. I'll think of a reason tonight. You two will just have to be at my house then."

"How will I explain that to your parents?" I asked skeptically.

Alice's face grew very cold. "Trust me, they won't care if they even notice. You'll be fine."

We both glanced at Jasper to see his plan.

One of those infamous grins spread across his face. "Alice, I'm going to give your performance a run for its money."

Alice snorted playfully. "Oh, I highly doubt that!"

-------------------

Still at odds with each other, Alice opted not to come and watch Jasper's 'heart-wrenching' act. We bid our goodbyes and entered his house.

"You can listen from the hallway. Come on." He motioned for me to follow him.

We went upstairs. I've never been up here before. All of the doors were closed, so I couldn't tell what room was what. There were four rooms, though.

Jasper halted me, and then wandered to the second door on the right. He opened it and poked his head in. "Rosie? Are you busy?"

I assume she shook her head because he entered. He left the door ajar so I could hear them talking.

"What is it, Jasper?" Rosalie asked him.

A bed creaked, and Jasper announced seriously, "I need to talk to you about something. It's very important to me."

"What is it?" Rosalie's voice was instantly attentive.

"You know I don't like Maria, Jane can get really annoying sometimes, Carlisle is seriously begging me to hit him, and I _hate_ it that you are now officially with Caius." Jasper began.

I was shocked to hear the last third. Rosalie and _Caius?_

Rosalie's tone snapped from attentive to defensive. "What do _my_ friends have to do with anything?"

"They have everything to do with everything." He answered. "Your friends are your friends, and I accept that I don't have to get along with them. I never once complained those weekends you had them over, even though we both know dad doesn't allow sleepovers when he's not home."

I just figured out where he was going with this.

"And?" Rosalie asked suspiciously.

"Rosie," Jasper's voice was soft now, like a little kid. "I know you don't get along with Bella, but it would make me really happy if she could stay here for the break."

"_What?_" Rosalie growled, outraged.

It was Oscar time.

Jasper whimpered. "Please? You'll never even see her! You're going to be busy, Edward is going to be busy, and Bella really wants to spend time with me."

After a long second Rosalie asked, calmer, "Do _you_ want to spend time with _her_?"

"Yes." He answered instantly.

"Why?" She asked him. I was slightly offended that she sounded honestly confused.

Jasper sighed quietly. "I'm tired of being lonely, Rose. She's my friend, and I sort of feel special when we're together. I can talk to her like I can talk to you."

I was touched to hear him say that. I could tell he was being honest; I could hear it in his voice.

Rosalie released a sigh under her breath. "Fine. If anyone asks, she was never here."

"Thanks, sis." Jasper said in a less depressing tone.

"Anytime. When are you feeding me, Mr. Mom? I'm hungry." Rosalie changed the subject.

Jasper laughed. It was a rich laugh that made my ears tingle. "I'll go do it now. You're eating spaghetti."

She mumbled something, and he left the room, closing her door again. Wrapping his arm around my waist, he walked me downstairs and into the kitchen. I was conscious of the blush that crept onto my face the moment his arm was around me. Luckily, he didn't seem to notice. If he did, he ignored it.

Once we were in the kitchen, I broke the silence. "Alice still wins. She's _way_ more dramatic then you were."

I squeaked in surprise when Jasper spun me against his chest, wrapping his arms around my back. My face flushed a little darker.

"More dramatic, yes. But I think I should still win." He announced.

"Is that so?" I challenged. "Why?"

He leaned in closer to me. "Because, Alice was scripted. Unlike her, I put _real_ emotion into my lines."

I was totally suspecting it, but he still surprised me when he suddenly pressed his mouth against mine. Some deep part of me had been hoping he would do that. He had set us up in the perfect position. A deeper part, though, never actually thought he would.

I wrapped my own arms around his neck, and my lips parted a little bit. A small explosion of sparks rippled across my entire body. Jasper's teeth grazed my bottom lip, and I shivered.

We broke apart, and I smiled. I resisted the urge I had to say _whoa_.

Saying nothing, he released me and sauntered over to the pantry, pulling out a bag of noodles.

"So, Snowflake." He started. "Tell me, was that not the _best_ kiss you've ever had?" He smirked at me over his shoulder. Smug bastard.

It was, in all honesty, ten times better then Carlisle. Jasper did have experience from Jane, though. Carlisle and I were learning together.

Just because he was expecting me to say yes, I decided to knock him down a peg. Or two.

"I'd still say the rumors about English boys are true." I shrugged innocently.

His face flashed with an intense surprise. I suppose it wasn't fair to do that, knowing how strongly opposed he already was to Carlisle.

However, the look of raw jealousy on his face was priceless. I couldn't stop myself from laughing at him.

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	27. Nineteen in Jasper's POV

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The Project

Chapter Nineteen

Jasper's POV

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It was the Saturday before the start of Christmas break, and Bella was at my house again. This time, I had entrusted her with the privilege of seeing my rock collection. They were all very important to me in their own way, and each one had a story. I didn't let just anyone hold them and toss them around. Actually, besides her, I had not let _anyone_ touch them. I was territorial over them like a bear was over her cubs.

My mind began to drift towards the upcoming break as Bella started inspecting some black jade I acquired online just a month ago. Gregory wasn't coming home until the third day after school started. Rosalie had an active social life when she wanted one. I knew that Edward and her have been starting to get a little closer recently. Ever since the fall out with Alice, a best friend and cousin to them, they have both been a little more distant then usual.

I really did hope Edward didn't try to fix Rose. He was messed up himself, and he'd probably ruin her even more. I had officially wrapped her under my protective wing. Nobody was getting to her without my approval. Not fully, anyway. A part of Rosalie would always be mine to defend, and I was going to ward off attackers any way I had to.

_What got me on this string of thought? Oh, right._

"What are you doing for the break, Bella?" I asked my friend as the question came to mind.

She scowled as she set the jade down. I can't remember ever seeing her looking quite that reluctant before. "Dad has to go to Utah for some cop thing. I can either go all the way to Ohio, where mom and Phil are, or I can stay at dad's friend's house in La Push."

"You don't look very happy about either option."

"I'm not." She instantly agreed with me. I let my gaze drop, figuring she didn't want to talk about it anymore if it made her unhappy. That's when my eyes settled onto my rose quartz.

I smiled a little bit and handed her the large sphere. Her eyes got a little wider and brighter as she explored it, turning it around in her hands to calculate the weight and get a feeling of the smoothly polished surface.

I sighed and filled her in on this one's story. "I bought that last year. It cost almost sixty dollars, but it was worth it. Mom always said rose quartz was her second favorite stone. It reminds me of her."

She smiled as she gave it back. I smiled too when I looked at my reflection on the shiny rock. I bet if she were alive, mom would have been very happy to see me buy this. She liked the rocks, too. Only one fourth of my whole collection could be considered _rare_ articles, and all but three of them were hers before she died. I cherished those so much more then the others. Every one of them could make her happy just by looking at them.

I suppose I really _was_ like diorite, because I liked to try and make people happy**, **too. If I knew how to make Bella stop frowning, I would give it a try. But what was I supposed to do? I couldn't choose where she ended up while her dad was away.

And suddenly, I decided just maybe I _could_.

I set the quartz down and flopped onto my back, gently laying my head onto her warm thigh. She looked down at me, and I grinned mischievously at her.

"What did your devious mind just think of?" She asked me, her tone light yet curious.

"Stay here for the break." I offered her an alternative that might keep a smile on her face. Was she not smiling more when she was around _me_ than anyone else?

Oh yes, I was keeping track of that.

After a moment, Bella disagreed with me, "He'll never agree to that."

_Like parents have stopped me before?_

I shrugged carelessly. We could work around Chief Swan without much trouble. He trusted Bella a lot. Was it wrong to use that trust? Maybe, but I couldn't bring myself to think she honestly cared.

I knew someone who would help us. Someone who cared even less about rules than I did. "Maybe not. But he wouldn't have a problem if you stayed with Alice, would he?"

Bella fretted, "I can't even tell you who her parents are. Besides, Alice said she's going to be at Marcus's the whole time."

I sat up and turned to face her, frowning. "Stop being so near-sighted. That's why it's perfect! He thinks you're staying with her, and you can just come over here. I can handle the Rosalie factor no problem. And, so you know, Alice's mom and dad own the library."

I paused to consider the odds she was aware of that. Alice didn't publicly acknowledge she _had_ parents eighty percent of the time. None of us would ever hurt her by bringing them up. If she had seen them at the library, she would never recognize them.

I added thoughtfully, "I suppose you wouldn't have guessed that, though. Her dad is the only one of the whole Brandon clan that didn't get the gray eyes. And her mother has the same color hair as Edward."

After a second of silent deliberation, Bella smiled. "Alright, let's go find Alice."

--------------------

About an hour later, we had Alice**, **and we were at Bella's house. I was stationed in the living room and turned on the football channel. I ignored the noise to listen to the girls in the kitchen.

"Did you girls need something?" Chief Swan asked Alice and Bella.

"Chief Swan," Alice started sadly, "you of all people in this town know how hard this time of year is for me." She gave a little sigh that made me snicker under my breath. "Daddy and mom are doing a lot of renovations to the library right now. I don't think they will be able to spend a lot of time with me this year."

_Daddy and mom!_ For any one of _us,_that would have been obvious over-kill. When Alice didn't scornfully refer to her parents as 'those people', she was in tears with her confusion and asking why her mother and father couldn't love her. Asking what she ever did to David and Mary for them to hate her so much.

How would Chief Swan know that, though? That was what made it genius.

"It would just be _awful_ to be alone on Christmas, don't you think?" Alice's voice had taken on a slightly hurt tone. It was clearly fake, because she spent Christmas with Marcus and Aro every year since she was seven, but she really _could_ fake it well.

"Dad." Bella rescued Chief Swan from having to answer that. "I don't really think it's necessary to spend all that money on me to send me halfway across the country. We can all be happy if you let me stay with Alice at her house. And, that way, I won't be bothersome to Billy."

The moment of truth stretched on before he suddenly asked, "You're sure your mother and father won't mind?"

I felt myself smiling. Alice had won.

"Of course not! They already said they would _love_ to have Bella around. It would be like the sister neither of us have!" Alice answered cheerfully, and confidently.

Her parents wouldn't mind, because they never even cared when she was passed out on the floor. What the hell attention would they pay to her friends? We were at her house all the time. I used to sleep in her bed with her after her parties until… we distanced ourselves from one another sixteen months ago.

When Alice appeared around the corner with a smirk, I knew I had tuned out Charlie's formal acceptance of the plan. I smiled and turned the TV up to mask our whispering as the girls joined me.

I grinned at my cohort. "Alice, that was pure gold. You could have won an Oscar!"

The two of us snickered together. The action was oddly unsettling to me. Edward choosing his friend over his cousin had wounded all three of us during the epic shattering of the group. Alice and I had already been straining to fix our friendship, but ever since then we had both sort of given up on trying. Getting along so naturally again was just… sad, because I knew it wouldn't last.

"We have two problems left to solve, guys. We need a system in case dad calls your house to talk to me. And even more important, Rosalie." Bella pointed out the milestones left to leap.

Alice flaunted her skills of deception. "I have that all worked out. Tomorrow when I come to whisk you away, I'll tell Charlie to only call between five and eight. I'll think of a reason tonight. You two will just have to be at my house then."

"How will I explain that to your parents?" Bella skeptically asked her.

It saddened me to see Alice's face drain of all emotion except for bitter. "Trust me, they won't care if they even notice. You'll be fine."

Both sets of eyes locked onto me, waiting for my help in the plan I came up with. I grinned and teased, "Alice, I'm going to give your performance a run for its money."

There was _nothing_ that I couldn't convince Rosalie to do for me. Just like she could pull my strings like a puppet master, I knew every twist and turn of her mind. Besides, guilt was a forte of mine.

Alice snorted playfully at the very suggestion of being out done. "Oh, I highly doubt that!"

-----------------

I invited Alice back to my house, but after sharing a strangely regretful look with her, she decided to go her own way. I was displeased to see her headed in the direction of Peter's house. Like always, she was fleeing to him so he could sort her out.

I pushed the thought of her aside and entered the house with Bella. I smiled, waving her along with my hand. "You can listen from the hallway. Come on."

I wanted her to hear what I had to say about her. I stopped at the second door on the right and gently nudged Bella a few inches back. Opening my sister's door, I peeked inside, "Rosie? Are you busy?"

Rosalie looked up from a book she was reading and set it aside. That was her way of inviting me in. I didn't click the door closed as I stepped into the room.

"What is it, Jasper?" Rose asked me, looking worried. I very rarely had something so important to tell her that I sought her out. We used dinnertime as a time to talk. It _was_ the time for family bonding, wasn't it?

I sat down on the end of her bed and looked her in the eye. I left no room for joking in my voice when I informed her, "I need to talk to you about something. It's very important to me."

The two of us were not at all like regular siblings. Maybe it was because we didn't meet until she was eight, and I was just nine. Whatever the reason, seeing us joke around with one another would be a very rare moment. We had created such a bond, such a system, that it didn't leave room for fooling around.

"What is it?" She asked me again, suddenly giving me her full attention.

I tried to lead into it by pointing out what I put up with for her. She was not going to be happy about this; I might as well try to soften the blow. "You know I don't like Maria, Jane can get really annoying sometimes, Carlisle is seriously begging me to hit him, and I _hate_ it that you are now officially with Caius."

Maria was too hostile and pushy. Jane clung to me a little too much sometimes- ignoring the fact it made me anxious. Carlisle was Carlisle, and he'd been getting friendlier with her ever since he aligned with us. _Caius_ needed to be monitored at all times. Every brotherly sensor of mine throbbed angrily when he was at the house. But, because she had asked me to, I left her alone to make her own choices of friends.

Clearly, I was starting to break that promise, and it made her bristle. I wasn't the only one who liked our intricate little system. We were always involved with one another's lives. We were a part of everything the other did- and yet we made sure we kept a broad distance from each other. I was skirting dangerously close to prying.

Her tone, unhappy and sharp with defense, warned me of that. "What do _my_ friends have to do with anything?"

"They have everything to do with everything." I insisted, and she frowned- but waited for me to go on. "Your friends are your friends, and I accept that I don't have to get along with them. I never once complained those weekends you had them over, even though we both know dad doesn't allow sleepovers when he's not home."

_Here it comes!_

"And?" Rosalie prodded me to get to the point. Her voice was full of suspicion, but curiosity was there as well.

"Rosie," I addressed her in a quiet, gentle tone, feeling much like I was a young boy whimpering to my mother. "I know you don't get along with Bella, but it would make me really happy if she could stay here for the break."

Shock and horror alike flittered through her eyes. She gasped, "_What?_"

Her instant and forceful reaction set off the bad parts of my brain. I winced and started mentally floundering. It was a struggle to find my voice, because I was so used to shying away from the whole idea of upsetting her. "Please? You'll never even see her! You're going to be busy, Edward is going to be busy, and Bella really wants to spend time with me."

She silently searched my face for one long moment before trying to confirm, "Do _you_ want to spend time with _her_?"

"Yes." I answered without really thinking. I knew she was just looking out for me. If I was brave enough, or in this case weak enough, to let someone in- I could rarely stop myself from hiding things from him or her. Rosalie knew well that I had secrets and thoughts I didn't want the world to know. If I hadn't wanted Bella here, she would find a way to ward her off.

But I did want Bella here. More than I have ever wanted anything in a long time.

"Why?" Rosalie asked me, looking and sounding equally confused. We were back to our original conundrum. Why was it I was so drawn to someone she was so strongly opposed to? It was just weird. It messed up our balance.

I sighed quietly;a little warmed by the fact Bella could hear this as well. "I'm tired of being lonely, Rose. She's my friend, and I sort of feel special when we're together. I can talk to her like I can talk to you."

I didn't realize it until I said it, but I _was_ tired of being lonely. After so many years of being bitter, hateful, and resentful: I wanted a change. I didn't want to be sad anymore.

People tried to alleviate my constant depression. They only made it worse, though, because they forced me to be something I wasn't. Rosalie's protector. Edward's solid ground. Alice's babysitter. Gregory's son.

I was weak myself, how could I properly protect my sister? Edward didn't need a place to stand; he needed someone to hold onto him. Alice had to learn to take care of herself. I could never, ever be the person Gregory wanted me to be.

Bella made me happier then any other person could. When we were together, I didn't feel like I was obligated to be anything except Jasper. All I ever really wanted to be was Jasper.

Clearly, my sister could see that. She sighed under her breath and accepted, "Fine. If anyone asks, she was never here."

I tried to seem less grave than usual when I smiled at her. "Thanks, sis."

She smiled and picked her book back up, officially ending the serious conversation in an effort to erase the sudden tension stirring within me. "Anytime. When are you feeding me, Mr. Mom? I'm hungry."

That made me laugh. She was so silly sometimes. "I'll go do it now. You're eating spaghetti."

I ignored her distracted answer as I exited her room. Clicking the door closed, I wrapped my arm around Bella's waist and smiled a little as we headed towards the kitchen.

The pale, scarlet blush that stained her cheeks made me want her so bad I thought it best to pretend it wasn't there. Red was certainty Bella's color. It complimented her creamy skin in all the right ways.

"Alice still wins." Bella announced once we reached the kitchen. "She's _way_ more dramatic then you were."

I smirked and spun her around, pulling her into my chest. My arms wrapped around her back and held her there as I looked down at her. Her face flushed into a darker, richer shade of scarlet.

_Do not lick her cheek; you'll only freak her out._

"More dramatic, yes." I agreed. "But I think I should still win."

"Is that so? Why?" Her eyes were challenging. I loved a challenge.

I leaned in close to her, able to smell the green tea shampoo she used. "Because, Alice was scripted. Unlike her, I put _real_ emotion into my lines."

Without warning her, I pressed my mouth against her soft, beautiful lips. They were so warm, and perfect, and a million times better then Jane's or Alice's.

Almost instantly, her arms settled in around my neck, and her mouth opened just so slightly as she kissed me back. I pulled her bottom lip into my mouth and not-too-gently grazed my teeth across it. I felt her body shiver in my arms.

We drifted apart and she smiled at me. I just freed her from my grasp and strutted to the pantry. I bet _Carlisle_ never made her shiver.

Pulling out the spaghetti noodles I asked, "So, Snowflake, tell me, was that not the _best_ kiss you've ever had?"

I smirked at her over my shoulder, trying to look confident, but hoping deeply the secret answer was a yes. What if my kissing skills didn't satisfy her like Cullen's did?

_Then you fail at life._

With an innocent shrug, Bella answered, "I'd still say the rumors about English boys are true."

I would agree that the word 'aghast' would be a good one to describe my immediate reaction to that news. Both amusement and relief washed over me as she started to laugh.

I was going to make sure every kiss from now on blew her socks off, though, just in case.

* * *

**Teaser for c20:** "I got carried away." He admitted quietly. He looked nervous. Did he think I was mad at him?

_All reviewers who say more than "update soon" or "great chapter" will get an extended teaser!_

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	28. Chapter 20: Sort of Bonding

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Two days later, everything was in order. Dad had dropped me off at Alice's house, and an hour after that, my stuff had been moved into Jasper's room. I was stubbornly sleeping on the couch, even though he had offered to do so instead.

As of current, we were sitting in the living room watching the news together. It was snowing quite lightly outside, but by tomorrow afternoon, we were supposed to be hit with a fierce blizzard.

"We need to go shopping." Jasper announced suddenly. "We're going to need food if we get snowed in."

"Stop worrying so much, Jasper." Rosalie scoffed from the other side of the room. I jumped at the sudden voice. She had appeared down the stairs just in time to hear her brother's comment.

"You'll wish I worried when we get snowed in, Rosalie." He answered in a very matter-of-fact voice.

"I agree with Rosalie." I announced. They both looked surprised. I shrugged, "If we were getting _that_ much snow, the weather guy would be warning us. Half the time they warn us for no reason. It'll probably just be a few inches."

Rosalie nodded, glanced out the front window, and then floated into the kitchen.

Jasper glanced at me, his eyes stubborn. "We're still going to the store."

"If you insist." I smiled at him.

A moment later, I found my attention recaptured by the TV. The polar bear commercial for Coke was playing, and it was just too adorable to not watch. It was one of the three commercials that always aired around this time. The others were the various hot chocolate ones, and the one with the little redhead boy who had to eat soup to melt from a snowman.

"I love commercials in December." I decided to tell Jasper.

"This one is great." He agreed. "It's the best commercial for the best soda around."

I glanced at him, a frown on my face. I asked in playful horror, "You drink _Coke_?"

"You _don't_?" He asked back, his eyes wide.

I grimaced. "Hell no. It has a generic, metallic taste that makes me want to gag."

Jasper lifted his eyebrow, challenging me. "Metallic? Have you ever had it right out of the bottle? That's the only way to drink it, after all."

I felt my cheeks flush a little. "Well… no."

"Pepsi girl?" He asked critically. I nodded.

"Uh!" Jasper exclaimed. "Why? It has that horrible, flat, aftertaste that doesn't leave!"

"It does not!" I argued for the sake of arguing.

"And Coke doesn't taste generic." He defended his drink of choice.

I smirked. "But you admit it tastes metallic?"

He rolled his eyes, a slight smile playing onto his face. "Yeah, when it comes out of a _metal_ can. Pepsi does too, though."

"What exactly is a metallic taste?" Rosalie asked suddenly as she entered from the kitchen.

"Go lick a spoon." He smirked at her. She rolled her eyes, peeking out the window.

"I disagree with you completely." I informed Jasper, ignoring Rosalie's interruption. "Pepsi tastes just fine out of the can."

After a second, he mused aloud, "I can get you to start drinking it."

Hah! He was crazy. I've hated Coke since I was little. I dared him, "You can try."

Jasper leaned in very close to me, and I shrank into the couch. I still was trying to get used to those intense eyes. Eyes that bored into me so deeply it was frightening. "By the time you leave," Jasper started, "I will make you love Coke. I fail as your boyfriend if I can't."

If he could do that, he was Superman.

Suddenly, I smiled at him, spontaneously pecking him on the lips. He was so close to me that I couldn't resist. I blushed out of instinct when I moved away to watch his reaction. He looked stunned at first, but then he grinned.

_We've already established that a grin equals deviousness._

Jasper leaned forward and closed in the gap between us. He shoved his mouth against my own, but it wasn't rough. For how quickly and demandingly he swooped in, the contact of our lips was actually rather gentle and hesitant.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, while his hands snaked around my waist and rested on my backside. I probably would have blushed, but he pulled me closer to him and deepened the kiss. My mind was totally not on blushing right now.

I found it a struggle to remember to breathe during the fleeting moments the two of us actually drifted apart. I was so concentrated on him.

How soft his lips were. How sweet his mouth tasted. How warm his hands were as they slid under my shirt and trailed ever so slowly up my back…

A voice in the back of my mind screamed, _Bella! What the hell?_

My mind registered what was happening, and I pulled my head away, setting my hands on his chest and gently pushing him back. I lowered my eyes, afraid of what I might see on his face.

I wasn't entirely sure if he was trying to make a move on me or not- and I would hope not, seeing as we were in the living room with his _sister_- but guys didn't tend to take well to rejection.

His hand gently lifted my chin, and our eyes met. His were pleading and repentant. He understood that I had felt overwhelmed a second ago, and he was sorry for it. I didn't even need to hear him say it- I could just tell.

"I got carried away." He admitted quietly. He looked nervous. Did he think I was mad at him?

"It's okay, Jasper." I reassured him honestly.

He smiled at me. It was a small, but genuinely happy smile. It made his eyes light up, which was how I could tell the difference I smiled back and snuggled against his strong chest. He wrapped his arms around me, and our attention turned back to the TV. Well, it did for the first few seconds.

For the third time, Rosalie whisked into the room and glared out the window. With a loud, dramatic huff, she whirled around, accenting the movement with a stomped foot.

"Damn, Rosalie." Jasper drew in her attention. "Why the hell are you so irritated all of a sudden?"

She pouted at him. "Caius was supposed to be here by now."

"Well he's not." He needlessly pointed out. "Sit down, and stop pacing. It's not going to get him here any faster."

"Don't tell me what to do, Jasper." She snapped sharply, before cold-shouldering him and glaring out the window. Jasper looked like a bee had stung him.

His face fell, and he sighed a little bit. I gently clasped his hand in mine, trying to be supportive. I knew how close he was to Rosalie. He was bound to be hurt by her short temper.

Looking broody, Jasper muttered after a few seconds, "Is your reflection fun to glare at?"

"Immensely." She answered, her voice rather unamused.

Jasper rolled his eyes. "Come and watch the weather with us."

She glanced critically at me before snorting. "I'd rather stare at the wall then watch you two."

"Rosalie, _just sit down_." Jasper growled to her. His eyes were dark, and his voice displeased. There was a tinge of upset behind his unhappy tone, though. He clearly wanted his stepsister to be accepting.

She noticed, too. Tearing her eyes away from us, she pranced across the room again, sitting on the armchair by the coffee table. Her eyes instantly trained onto the TV.

"Bella, chess after dinner?" Jasper invited. I was starting to learn that chess was his escape from life. It was the one time that nothing else mattered, except for that game. And because it was just a game, it didn't make a difference if you won or lost.

I was getting better at it, with all this practice. "Sure, if you want."

Jasper locked his eyes with mine and pointed out, "We don't have to if you don't want to. There are other things we can do together."

Just for kicks I asked, "Like what?"

"We could watch a movie. Maybe The Lion King." He smirked at me, his eyes twinkling with mischief.

I wrapped my arms around his waist. "The second one is better then the first."

"How so?" Jasper asked skeptically.

"Everyone is happy in the end." I answered him, quite sure of it. I did actually like the first one more, but today a love story seemed fun. It seemed _right_.

"Nuka got short-sticked in that movie." Rosalie announced.

I turned my attention onto her. She wasn't even looking our direction. She was making an effort to get involved in the conversation, though.

I reminded myself of my promise to try and be less aggressive towards her, for Jasper's sake.

"He still died happy." I argued mildly. "In his last seconds of life, Zera finally tried to be a good mother. That's all he wanted the whole time."

Rosalie shrugged, actually meeting my eyes. "Is that really enough? He tried his entire life just to get the bitch to notice his existence. He shouldn't have had to _die_ for it to finally happen. Does three seconds actually make up for a lifetime of neglect?"

I had never looked at it that way. I mused aloud with her, "I guess not. Not really. But it was enough for him, which is the best he could have asked for."

Rosalie smiled the slightest bit and returned her attention to the TV.

"Wow." Jasper finally interjected. "You two are getting along."

"Don't count on it being a habit." Rosalie instantly responded.

I scoffed lightly. "Yeah, the Ice Queen might melt if she's civil for too long."

For whatever reason, that made Jasper start to laugh. It wasn't one of those light chuckles, either. It was a deep, hearty laugh. The vibration in his chest shook my body- as I was resting against him.

I was surprised when Rosalie chose to completely ignore me.

The phone rang, and Rosalie snatched it off of the coffee table. She answered, her voice hopeful, "Caius?"

After a moment she scowled. Her tone got colder when she amended, "Oh, Peter. What is it?"

I watched in curious silence as her eyes widened for a second, misting over sadly. She sighed quietly, "Fucking hell. – Yeah, I'll send him over. Just calm her down, and make sure he doesn't fly off the handle."

She hung up the phone and frowned at Jasper. "Get over to Alice's house, now."

"What happened?" Jasper asked in alarm. I felt his hand tighten around mine.

"I don't know for sure." Rosalie fretted. "Peter just said that Edward found out his dad is leaving, and now he's at Alice's house having a break down. It's freaking her out."

"Fuck." Jasper spat angrily. He pulled me to my feet. "Come on Bella. We're going over there to help her."

I was tossed a jacket, which I pulled on as we made our way to the garage. Jasper hit the box on the wall, and the door began to open. He ushered me over to a fancy blue car, and we got into it. I was silent as he pulled out of the driveway and started zipping down the road.

"Is this your da- General Hale's car?" I asked curiously. How could he leave it behind when he was out of town? Well, he could always have two. Many people did.

"No, it's mine." Jasper announced flatly. I knew that he liked cars, and I was surprised to hear him sound so unenthused.

"You don't like it?" I asked, grasping for strings.

My grasp was empty.

He sighed, shrugging a little bit. "I like it. It's a good car and everything. He bought it for me as a Christmas present."

"That's a bad thing?" I asked hesitantly. He was getting tense from talking about this. His fists were tight on the wheel, and his body too scrunched up to be relaxed. I knew he had issues with the General. I didn't want to push him.

"It's not…" He trailed off with whatever he was going to say. He looked conflicted. I sat by silently and waited for him to either go on, or change the subject. After a few seconds he admitted, "It's not a bad thing. I just wish he would make up his mind."

"About what?" I asked him.

"About me." He whispered. "I can never tell with him. Does he like me or not? When he's yelling at me all the time, or giving me one of those looks he has, I think he hates me. He knows that I know. He knows I have him figured out."

Jasper sighed, shaking his head. "But then he does something to throw me off guard and make me wonder. Something like, buy me a car for Christmas for absolutely no reason."

"Does it really matter?" I asked him out of curiosity. "I mean, _you_ don't like _him_, right? So why would it matter what he thinks of you?"

I was confused. I had never gotten any impression but distaste from Jasper- for the General. I loved Charlie as much as I could- still barely knowing him in all reality- and I wasn't bothered by his opinion of me. I was who I was, and I could only hope my father would accept that. He did, of course, which was great.

Jasper had never seemed like the self-conscious type.

I watched Jasper's entire mood take a sharp turn. His eyes became darker, but softer with emotion. His face hardened, however, and I could almost see a brick wall starting to fall into place around him. My question had triggered the defensive side that I hated seeing.

"What he thinks of me doesn't matter." Jasper agreed in a cold tone.

I was rescued from trying to fix the problem I unknowingly caused within him as he turned into Alice's driveway. Unbuckling himself, he sighed heartlessly. "Now you get to see why I would let Edward fall off that cliff."

* * *

_Still no blue shirt._

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	29. Twenty in Rosalie's POV

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**_The Project  
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**_Chapter Twenty_**

**_Rosalie's POV_**

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Bella was staying over for the break. Great. Why did my brother have to fall for the one girl that I simply could _not_ get along with?

I was going to try to make good on my promise though and stay away from her. If Isabella Swan was, for whatever unknown reason, the person who could finally make Jasper happy I was not going to try to sabotage it. It really had been too long since Jasper smiled.

I had taken my morning shower and then returned to my room with breakfast. I had an email from Caius. He said he was going to call me and let me know when he was coming over today. I couldn't help but smile at that information.

Emmett had left me hurt. I knew his name before I knew my dad's actual name. We had been through more together than I had experienced with any other person.

I would even be crazy enough to say I loved the bastard, and he had the nerve to call me a slut. To tell me we couldn't even be _friends_ anymore, because I was sneaking around behind his back.

_That stupid prick!_ I never even looked at another guy, because I had not wanted one.

Did I like Caius? Not in the way he wanted me to. But I was grateful to him. I owed him more than I would have liked.

Emmett broke me. Jasper, the only guy I trusted after that, was too tangled in his own life to help fix me. I wanted to be able to put myself back together, but I couldn't. I was not Jasper. I did not know how to glue the fragments back where they belonged like he did.

It _disgusted_ me, feeling so weak. Feeling shattered and helpless.

Alice knew that. She sort of introduced me to Peter's neighbor Caius. I _hated_ Peter, because I knew that he was bad for Alice. I hated him even more after he made her hurt Jasper the way Emmett hurt me.

But I liked Caius. He cared about me. He held me, and kissed me, and told me that he loved me.

I liked feeling loved. Didn't we all? It was even more meaningful because of how empty my heart seemed right now.

Grabbing my plate from breakfast, I wandered down the stairs. I heard Jasper musing about the weather. "We need to go shopping. We're going to need food if we get snowed in."

Just like old times. The years we were left to fend for ourselves made him anxious over nothing. If they mentioned the word _snow_ on the TV, he'd scamper off and stock the house enough for three weeks! I scoffed, "Stop worrying so much, Jasper."

Jasper confidently, a little arrogantly, answered me, "You'll wish I worried when we get snowed in, Rosalie."

"I agree with Rosalie." Bella piped in. I couldn't help but double take in shock. For real? She seemed to notice my and Jasper's surprised reactions, but she just shrugged it off. "If we were getting _that_ much snow, the weather guy would be warning us. Half the time they warn us for no reason. It'll probably just be a few inches."

I nodded a little bit. Hah, see? Maybe she was good for something!

I glanced out the window. Caius was not here yet. Sighing to myself, I went into the kitchen and started to wash my plate.

I returned to the living room in time to hear Jasper ask, sounding dead serious, "Pepsi girl?" Bella nodded, and he became dramatic. "Uh! Why? It has that horrible, flat, aftertaste that doesn't leave!"

I had to agree with him on that. I hated both, though. Dr. Pepper all the way.

"It does not!" Bella firmly disagreed. I leaned against the doorway to watch them fight. It was fun.

"And Coke doesn't taste generic." He asserted.

"But you admit it tastes metallic?"

Jasper rolled his eyes and smiled. What _was_ it about her that made him so happy?

"Yeah, when it comes out of a _metal_ can. Pepsi does too, though." He answered.

I finally walked into the room, asking aloud, "What exactly is a metallic taste?"

Even better question: why were they arguing over it?

Even better than that: how could liquid taste like metal in the first place?

"Go lick a spoon." My idiot brother retorted, wearing a playful smirk. I rolled my eyes at him, before glancing out the window. Still no car. _Sigh_.

What time was it anyway? Eleven? Gah, what was taking him so long? His email said before ten! _Procrastinating, easily distracted, late-_

My mental rant was interrupted when I glanced at the reflection in the window. Jasper was _all_ up on Bella on the couch. I grimaced and shook my head. Living room, other people in here! Come on, now.

I left the room, returning to the safety of the kitchen. Jane and Alice had been my closest friends for a long time. Because of them I knew, not sure _why_ they thought I should know, that Jasper didn't exactly have a squeaky clean track record with the girls.

_Shudder._

I certainly didn't want to be in the same room if they got friskier than what could be considered acceptable in public.

Boredom settled in quite quickly. I paced around the room, before deciding to go make sure he wasn't waiting outside for me. It would be rude to make him wait. That would be my excuse, at least. I just wanted to see him again.

I returned to the large front window and glared out of it. Empty driveway. I huffed, getting annoyed, and turned my back on the window. I snapped my foot sharply against the wooden floor and leaned on the window.

Jasper looked surprised. "Damn, Rosalie. Why the hell are you so irritated all of a sudden?"

"Caius was supposed to be here by now." I pouted unhappily.

"Well, he's not." Were the first three words he said. Oh, really? I had not realized that on my own. Thanks, Jasper! "Sit down, and stop pacing. It's not going to get him here any faster."

He would be doing a lot worse than pacing if he was waiting for _her_. He'd be all over the place, muttering to himself about how long it was taking her to get here. Jasper was the antsiest person I've ever met. Who did he think he was, ordering me around? Like he was any better!

"Don't tell me what to do, Jasper." I snapped, turning on my heel and letting my forehead fall against the window.

A few tense seconds passed before Jasper asked darkly, "Is your reflection fun to glare at?"

_Ass_. "Immensely."

"Come and watch the weather with us." Jasper invited, sounded like he was losing his patience. That was no big shocker. He was very easily set off.

I glanced over my shoulder, eyeing his squeeze toy. _Bella_. Keh, even thinking her name made me unhappy. I snorted indignantly. "I'd rather stare at the wall than watch you two."

"Rosalie, _just sit down_." Jasper demanded. I was shocked to hear sadness hidden behind his annoyance. Did he honestly care that I didn't like his girl? It was not like that meant anything. I didn't have to like her, just like he didn't have to like Caius.

I grumbled to myself, crossing the room and folding myself into the armchair. I forced myself to concentrate on the TV.

"Bella, chess after dinner?" Jasper asked her suddenly. Him and his chess. I could barely stand listening to him talk about it. How could she stand _playing_ it?

"Sure, if you want." She accepted indifferently.

"We don't have to if you don't want to." Jasper reminded. "There are other things we can do together."

"Like what?"

"We could watch a movie. Maybe The Lion King."

That was Jasper's favorite movie. We'd talked about its themes and broken it apart, so many times since we were little. It was great. All Hamlet-esque and whatever.

"The second one is better than the first." Bella decided, wrapping herself around my brother like a blanket.

I knew there was a reason I hated her.

"How so?" Jasper asked, sounding disbelieving.

I knew there was a reason I _liked_ him.

"Everyone is happy in the end." She answered confidently.

Everyone happy? Really? What delusional world did she live in? Zera watching her entire pride turn on her for her mortal enemy, then falling to a watery death, could be counted as happy? Poor Nuka- my favorite character- had a happy ending?

"Nuka got short-sticked in that movie." I announced, still staring blankly at the TV. I would engage in their conversation but not more than I had to.

And yes, before you ask yourself, I _had_ to give my input.

Bella decided to return the slight level of sociability. "He still died happy. In his last seconds of life, Zera finally tried to be a good mother. That's all he wanted the whole time."

I shrugged looking her right in the eye. She was entitled to her opinion, of course. I was entitled to disagree, though. "Is that really enough? He tried his entire life just to get the bitch to notice his existence. He shouldn't have had to _die_ for it to finally happen. Does three seconds actually make up for a lifetime of neglect?"

When I thought of Nuka, I saw Jasper.

I saw the son that a parent never wanted. I saw the son that tried too hard, knowing he was never going to find what he yearned so deeply for, but never giving up just in case. I saw the same resentment and pain in Jasper's eyes when he looked at his friends that Nuka displayed when he glared at Kovu.

No, it was _not_ fair that the cat had to die for his own mother to finally give a fuck about him. It would never be fair that Jasper had to change what he was to try and make dad like him, either, because that was never going to happen.

"I guess not. Not really. But it was enough for him, which is the best he could have asked for." Bella answered.

I felt my lips twitch sadly, and I turned my head away from her. Getting a shred of what you truly ached for was not okay. It could _never_ be good enough.

"Wow. You two are getting along." Jasper pointed out.

"Don't count on it being a habit." I immediately shot down his hope. I still didn't like her.

Bella scoffed a little. "Yeah, the Ice Queen might melt if she's civil for too long."

I was more than willing to defend myself, as I had no problem being nice to people who had picked fights with me at school, but Jasper started to laugh.

I wanted to be hostile, but I found it entirely impossible.

My brother was actually laughing. If I deemed smiling as rare, had I last heard him laugh?

The phone rang, and suddenly nothing else mattered. I hastily answered it, hoping. "Caius?"

A voice I so loathed asked, rather rudely, "Do I sound like Caius?"

I scowled, trying my best to sound unfriendly. "Oh, Peter. What is it?"

"Edward is over here at Alice's house, going three sorts of psycho." Peter spat into his phone, sounding irritated. "Alice is panicking. I think she's going to cry."

"Fucking hell." I sighed. Edward was never very… stable when his dad had to leave. The poor kid didn't know _how_ to look after himself.

Peter asked nervously, "Can you get Jasper over here or something? He's the only one Edward ever listens to, anyway."

I agreed instantly, "Yeah, I'll send him over. Just calm her down, and make sure he doesn't fly off the handle."

I hung up the phone and frowned, looking at Jasper. "Get over to Alice's house, now."

Jasper suddenly looked very alarmed. "What happened?"

That was always a good question. Too bad I couldn't answer for sure. Peter never was one for detail. "I don't know for sure. Peter just said that Edward found out his dad is leaving, and now he's at Alice's house having a break down. It's freaking her out."

"Fuck." Jasper cursed, yanking Bella onto her feet. "Come on Bella. We're going over there to help her."

The two of them scampered off. Shortly after the car pulled away, Caius's turned into the driveway. I opened the front door and smiled, not letting myself worry about Edward. Jasper always knew how to help him.

Caius bounded into the house, and I closed the door behind him.

He smiled, setting his wet shoes and jacket aside before hugging me close to him. "Hey, Rose. Where's Jasper today?"

Usually, he was sitting in the same room as we were, glaring at us like an unhappy Rottweiler. I smiled. "He's gone. I don't think he'll be home anytime too soon."

Caius's eyes shined, and he leaned forward to kiss me. After a few seconds, I pulled away and asked curiously, "What makes you wonder?

His hand thread gently through my hair. His bright green eyes were round with worry, and he asked, "You love me, right Rose?"

I hesitated. Didn't he think it was a bit _soon_ to ask me something like this? I stammered, "C-caius, it's only been t-three weeks…"

Caius frowned at me, looking hurt. "You told me you were ready for a serious relationship, Rose. I think it's time we took '_us_' to the next level. You told me you didn't want another Emmett."

I flinched noticeably at his casual use of such a painful conversation we had three weeks ago. I shook my head, unsure about this.

We just stood there for a few seconds. Caius let go of me, taking a few steps towards the door. He mused, "I can go, if you want me to. I mean… if you'd rather be alone or something."

I braved a glance at him. His eyes held a light of challenge in them. I didn't need him to say what he really meant.

He wanted to know if I was actually ready for the sort of relationship he wanted. We were not freshman anymore. We were almost adults, and he wanted to start being more involved like adults were supposed to be.

I couldn't let him leave me, too. I depended on other people. My entire life, I had leaned on a social network to support me. I had friends, and I had Jasper, who would always be around when I needed them to be.

Emmett took my friends with him. Jasper needed Bella.

I had nobody. Nobody, except for Caius.

I took a step forward and took his hand, tugging his towards the stairs. I tried to stop my voice from quivering when I said, "My room would be better than the living room, Caius."

He smiled gently, sweeping me against his chest as he walked backwards towards the stairs. He kissed me, and his hands expertly starting to undo the buttons on my shirt.

He mumbled, "I love you, Rosalie."

I was not entirely sure, but I tried to convince both of us when I answered, "I love you to, Caius."

* * *

**Teaser for c21:** I went closer to have a look at the items. You could learn a lot from someone by his or her things.

_All reviewers who say more than "update soon" or "great chapter" will get an extended teaser!_

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	30. Chapter 21: Seroquel and Sandstone

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I followed Jasper into the house and closed the door behind us. The sight we were greeted with was a rather miserable one. Edward sat in the center of the couch, hugging his knees. He had his head against Alice's shoulder as she pet his hair. His usually bright eyes were dull, and he was paler than usual.

He looked defeated.

Jane and Tanya were in the room, too. Tanya was on the computer in the corner, and her explorer had many tabs on it. I'd guess she was researching something. Jane was in the armchair by the window.

"_Finally,_" she scoffed the instantly Jasper was through the door. "He won't talk to anyone. See if you can get him to."

I sat on the arm of the couch as Jasper plopped into the spot beside his best friend. He asked gently, "Edward, are you okay?"

Edward's brow knitted, and he blinked once or twice. He looked terribly confused. Alice patted his shoulder supportively.

"Edward, do you understand what I'm saying?" Jasper asked, sounding very concerned.

He glanced at Alice, clearly waiting for her to tell him what to do.

"Tell Jasper what you told me." she urged him quietly.

He turned his head and looked directly at Jasper. He sounded very small when he did as Alice had instructed. "My dad is leaving tonight. He'll be gone for six months. He's going to Indiana, to a training camp for the new recruits."

Jasper offered him no physical support. He merely pointed out, "You still have all of us."

Edward stared at Jasper for a few seconds, before turning his head away. With a deep sigh, he melted against Alice, looking blankly at the wall.

Alec entered the room from around the corner, leaning on the back of Jane's chair. He started to speak, "It's not like I'm complaining or anything, but he seems more out of it than usual. And he's not flipping out like last time. What's up with that?"

Four sets of curious eyes landed on Alice. She lowered her head, almost in a shameful manner.

"You're not going to like the answer." Tanya announced, though she didn't tear herself away from the computer.

"Why not?" Jasper demanded, already sounding angry.

Peter strolled into the room from the kitchen, passing the window. "I gave him some Seroquel."

_He drugged Edward?!_

"He's not bi-polar, Peter!" Alec protested loudly from where he stood, two feet away from Peter.

"You can't just give him medicine!" Jasper added, sounding equally shocked and furious.

"Well, I did." Peter responded.

Apparently, that was not the correct answer. Alec's fist connected with Peter's nose a half of a second later. I flinched at the sound of the bone cracking. Peter fell onto the ground with a loud grunt.

Jasper darted forward and grabbed Alec, stopping him from springing on top of the fallen boy. Alec flailed violently against Jasper, spewing a vicious string of profanities at Peter.

"You ass, you broke my nose," Peter wailed as he clutched at the wounded area. It was gushing blood onto his hand like a fountain.

Alice gently shoved Edward at me, and she hurried across the room to help Peter back onto his feet. Edward limply curled up against me, and I had no choice but to wrap my arms around him and stop him from sliding across my lap.

Tanya helped Jasper shove Alec into the kitchen. She slammed the door shut and held onto the knob to keep him locked inside. Alec kicked the door, but then it was silent.

Alice was fretting over Peter. Quite suddenly, he shoved her off of him. Her body tensed, and she fell absolutely still, looking too wary to approach him again.

That set Jasper off. The larger boy grabbed Peter's shirt collar and growled, "Don't man handle her, you prick."

"Jasper, _stop!_" Jane's startlingly angry voice echoed through the entire house. Jasper instantly let go of Peter and shifted a few inches away. He did it without complaining or hesitating, almost like it was a reflex.

Sighing irritably, Jane sprang off the chair and grabbed Peter's non-bloody hand. Without another word, she more or less dragged him out of the house. Tanya swung the kitchen door open. She smiled at Alec as he death glared her.

Alice had started to cry. She was leaning back against the wall, wiping her eyes every couple of seconds as she tried to stop the flow of tears. Jasper and Alec both got a little paler. They both had sisters they were incredibly close to; tears were difficult for them to watch.

Tanya glanced hopelessly at Alec. After a second, he sighed gently and collected Alice, leading her up the stairs to the second level of the house.

Now that the atmosphere had calmed down, Tanya became very business-like. She glanced at Jasper. "I was looking up Seroquel. He should be fine. It was only a 50mg tablet."

Jasper shook his head, and then returned to the couch. "When did you three get here?"

"I came like twenty seconds after he called you." She reported. "Alec and Jane got here about a minute before you did."

"What are we doing with Edward?" I asked curiously. He was just… limp. He wasn't even trying to follow our conversation. He looked like he was in his own little world right now- he was so detached from us. He probably shouldn't be alone for the first few days.

"He can't stay here." Jasper mused aloud. "Alice won't stay home with him all day during the break."

"My dad would freak if they find him at my house," Alec's voice suddenly cut into the conversation. He was back down the stairs.

"My house is out," I added unhelpfully. I didn't think Edward would appreciate wandering around it alone for the next twelve days.

We all glanced at Jasper, who shook his head. "Rosalie doesn't like seeing him depressed. She'd just make me get rid of him."

Tanya snorted. "Who does she think she is, your mom?"

Jasper winced, and the sleeping tiger within me flexed her claws. I pinned Tanya down with a vicious glare and snapped, "And just who the hell do you think _you_ are?"

She glanced at me in surprise. I didn't even know this girl, but I wanted to kill her. I just recently moved here, and I knew about Jasper's history with his mother- how could she _not_? Tactless bitch.

"Help us with a plan or leave," I spat venomously. She glared at me, and I felt a flash of fear run through my heart.

_Damn, and I think Maria looks mean..._

After a moment, she tore her eyes away and sighed. "My parents aren't home until next week. Kate won't tell them anything. He can stay at my house."

"Alec," Jasper addressed the other boy, "Are you going with them, or staying here with Alice?"

Alec perked suddenly. "Oh, fuck." He darted into the kitchen, then- totally ignoring the rest of us- raced up the stairs with a box of tissues. I supposed that answered the question.

Jasper grabbed Edward by the elbow and hoisted him to his feet. "Alright, we're going to his house."

The blonde girl whisked herself through the front door. Edward allowed himself to be tugged along as Jasper followed. He called over his shoulder, "Come on, Bella."

I jumped to my feet and hurried after the boys. Jasper made Edward sit in the back of the car with Tanya. I sat up front with him. With an irritable sigh, he pulled out of the driveway and headed across the town.

It didn't take long before the lot of us were at Edward's house. Tanya announced, "I'll go find his mom."

She slipped out of the car and stalked over to the front door. Edward- who was now leaning against the window pathetically- did not even twitch a muscle to follow.

"Bella," Jasper turned his attention onto me, "You want to come help me?"

I glanced over my shoulder indecisively. "Is he going to be alright alone?"

"Yeah," Jasper answered instantly. His voice took on a bitter tinge, and he added, "Well, now that an anti-bipolarism drug is suppressing his emotions."

I followed him into the house, surprised that we just strolled by without being noticed. Was the Colonel gone already? Where was Mrs. Masen?

Jasper led me into a room upstairs. To be exact, it was Edward's room. Jasper gestured for me to sit on the bed, and then he started rummaging through the closet.

I was almost afraid to sit on the bed. I didn't want to mess it up. It looked like one of those beds you see in a furniture catalogue. The pillows were perfectly centered, and the blankets were surprisingly… perfect. Even when distressed, Edward was OCD.

I leaned against the wall and watched Jasper yank a duffle bag out of the closet. He closed it and glided across the room, opening the dresser.

I let my eyes wander around, absorbing the new environment. The main focus of the room, if you liked it or not, was the massive corner desk opposite of where I stood. It was made out of glass and had a ton of stuff on it.

I went closer to have a look at the items. You could learn a lot from someone by his or her things.

He had a collection of books in the corner of the desk. It was almost like a tiny library. There were four different stacks. One was made of reference books, one non-fiction, one fiction, and the last poetry.

He had a wide variety, which meant he was a person of many interests.

There were several framed photographs placed methodically around the books. His parents, him and Alice when they were little, I assume some grandparents, more Alice, and a family photo. Clearly, he was a family-oriented person.

On the other end of the desk, there were many carefully stacked music scores for the piano.

It was the center of the desk, everything in between the two organized edges, which intrigued me the most. A few random items were carelessly scattered about. A little white piggy bank, a large chunk of sandstone, a statue of a bee, and an old car license plate. _Of all the strange things!_

"Why are these things on his desk?" I asked Jasper curiously. Why keep such things on display for everyone in the room to look at?

Jasper glanced over his shoulder, and then walked over to my side. He explained, "The pig holds his rare coin collection. His dad brings him at least one new one every time he comes home from going away."

"Isn't it rather small for that?" The thing couldn't be any larger then three inches in all directions. Four, at the very most! I picked it up experimentally. It was quite heavy. Was it full?

Jasper smiled. "Yeah, he's running out of room. Edward will never replace him, though."

"_Him_?" I arched an eyebrow.

Taking the porcelain object from me and gently setting it back on the glass desk he explained. "Yes, him. His name is Bubba Fred. Apparently, when they were six, Alice bought it for him for Christmas. She saw it at a dollar store and forced Marcus to get it so Edward could have it.

"I've been told that it was a promise gift. Alice had recently learned about weddings, and she made Edward agree that if neither of them were married by the time Bubba Fred broke, they would marry one another. Of course, when they were nine, they revoked that promise once they learned a little _more_ about married couples."

Jasper chuckled, and I couldn't help but smile.

"I have to know- story for the car license?" I asked with severe interest. That was just _too_ random, especially for Edward.

Jasper grinned, looking a little evil. His eyes glinted with mischief. "That was your dad's. About a year after I moved here, Edward wrangled me as his partner in crime. Two ten year old boys thought it would be just _totally_ awesome to steal the plates off the chief's cruiser."

"And you didn't get caught?" I asked, incredulous. Could two fifth graders actually pull that off?

The question made him frown a little. "Well, no. His dad busted us just as we got it off the car. He marched us into the building and made us tell Chief Swan what we were doing. Your dad let us keep it, though. Edward got into loads more trouble then I did, so I thought it was only fair to let him have it."

Jasper set a finger on the bee stature. "This one is simple, if you actually read the little inscription. He was Washington's state champion at the spelling bee he entered two years ago."

The rock was last. I had to ask, "And the sandstone?"

"I gave it to him." Jasper answered with a slight shrug. "I thought it reflected who he was. He agreed, and kept it."

"How does it reflect him?" I asked.

"Because it's sedimentary," he answered confidently. "It was formed by taking many little pieces and forcing them together. The rock never had a choice; a more powerful element made it was it was. I picked sandstone in particular because it's one of the most common materials on the Earth's crust."

It was a little disheartening to hear it said that way. Edward was the sandstone, in Jasper's mind. He was a person who was molded into what he is by a stronger person- his father. Like many other people in the world, he was needlessly suffering because of something he never had a choice in.

"That's a little depressing," I pointed out mildly. Jasper shrugged, then returned to the packing he had been doing.

I took a moment to evaluate the desk as a whole. I found it reflective of Edward's life. The edges were perfect, orderly, and they looked neat to the eyesight. Edward was easily mistaken for being that straight-edged when one first met him. It wasn't until you learned more about him that you would really see him.

That was where the random items came into play. These items were symbolic to his relationships. His father, his cousin, and his best friend. They were probably the people closest to him in life. They were so scattered because he couldn't decide which was more important. He had not given them an order in his life, because they were all just there.

The pictures that framed the stacks of books, or the pile of sheet music, were all family members. He considered his family the people that tied him together.

The desk, even, could be interpreted. It was glass. It was strong enough to hold everything up, but it was still fragile. It was easily broken if hit in the right spots, or with enough force.

Sighing a little, I drifted over to the window, peering down at the driveway. Edward had sprung back to life, because his father was exiting the house. I watched my friend bounce over to his dad's side like a lost puppy.

They said a few brief words and shared a tight hug before the Colonel got into his car and drove off. Edward hugged himself and sank onto the ground, staring at the empty spot in the driveway.

That worried me. If he was reacting this badly already, I was afraid to see him once the absence actually took effect.

I wasn't just going to stand here as he hung out in the middle of a cold, snowy driveway hugging himself, though. With a small sigh, I announced, "I'm going to get him back in the car. Don't take too long."

Jasper glanced out the window, then agreed, "I won't. Tanya is impatient as hell. She'll come and drag me out there if I dawdle."

"Besides," he smiled at me and added, "We're still going to the store today."

* * *

_Nothing is too late,  
Until a tired heart shall cease to palpitate.  
---Henry W. Longfellow_

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	31. Twenty One in Edward's POV

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_

_**The Project**_

_**Chapter Twenty-One**_

_**Edward's POV**__**  
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Leaving._

My dad was leaving again. He wasn't gone yet and I already felt broken over it.

The day had started out a little funny—I really _should_ have known that something was awry.

I had done what I did everyday. I woke up, took a shower, got dressed, and went into the kitchen where mom and dad would be just finishing up making breakfast. Cheerfully bouncing over to their sides I offered to help set the table. That's when I noticed that things were not quite right.

Instead of accepting the offer and telling me what he wanted me to do, dad just told me to sit down. He said that he would do it all today. Mom said nothing; she wouldn't even look my direction.

Unsettled, I slipped into my chair and nervously started to wonder if I had done something to upset them. I couldn't think of anything, but it wouldn't have been the first time I accidentally messed up. It would be _far_ from the first if it were something I had done on purpose.

Five minutes later we were all eating breakfast. The idle conversation between my parents seemed forced, tense, and anxious. I wanted to escape it. When the dishes had been cleaned I asked if I could go over to Alice's house.

Dad said not yet. He told me to sit down. He said he needed to talk to me about something.

He was leaving. Today. This afternoon, even. He was going to Gary, Indiana to train some new recruits.

He was going 2,200 miles and seven states away from mom and me for six entire months.

With horror in my veins and shock on my face, I felt it starting to happen again. I felt myself threatening to fall apart. The box that held my voice of reason started to stress and rip open. Logic and routine were already fading away and my father was sitting in the same room as me.

Why did this always happen? I had no idea. Dad didn't have to be home for life to continue, and I knew that. He didn't need to be here for me to wake up, take a shower, get dressed, and come down for breakfast.

He was never with me when I left for school, attended classes, came home, did my homework, and called Alice before dinner.

Some days he was too busy to eat dinner when mom and me did. Too busy to hear me playing on the piano or watch a movie with me and mom before I received my daily phone call from Esme at 10:00 to wish me goodnight before I went to bed.

Jasper had pointed out to me one or eight times that I didn't need him here for me to do what I unfailingly did each and every day since I was ten; excluding the weekends when I spent my time with one of my friends.

No, I didn't need him here for any of that, but I _needed_ him _here_.

And he was leaving.

Literally the next thing I could recall was being at Alice's house, breaking things in her basement in an impossible fit of rage. Desperation and hurt was making me lose my sanity, and I couldn't do the first thing to help it.

Alice disappeared to the kitchen for a second, and then she cornered me once she had loyally returned to my side. Her voice broke a little when she asked me to calm down. I wasn't about to make her cry, so I tensed up and waited to hear her words of comfort. She always had some for me.

Except for today. Instead she handed me a pill and a glass of water. She said it would help me and that I needed to trust her. So I did, and I swallowed it. Tanya came and made me go upstairs, getting me to sit on the couch with Alice.

It was then, perhaps ninety seconds ago, that it happened. I started to get lost again. I couldn't hear Alice's voice whispering to me. I didn't notice what was going on around me. I was only able to focus on the way I felt as fragile as glass. On how much I wanted to cling to Alice and never let go. Secretly, I was seriously wishing Esme were here.

Esme always had a place for me, ever since we were little kids. She always knew what to do to help me when I needed her. The two of us used to be closer than anyone. Before Jasper moved here, she and Alice were my only friends.

Here in Forks, in more specifics within the group as a whole, the year of 2000 is a year we pretend never happened. Yes, an entire year that almost twenty different people were still in denial of nearly half a decade later. It was a year made of evil.

In January my dad was sent to Germany. He wasn't set to come home until just before Christmas of that year. That was one of the hardest periods I'd ever had. Things only continued to get worse, for everyone.

Dad didn't return until December, which meant that I was a mess that was only getting bigger and harder to clean for the entire year. We'd later learn from Carlisle that in December of 2000 he was expelled from his third school and nearly arrested for all the trouble he was getting into. Like most of us, things got better for him in 2001.

But that's not important, because the year was still evil. It started, really, in March.

Three months and some odd weeks after dad left, the afternoon of March 18 to be really exact, Jasper's mom died. Rosalie and Jasper were just stunned, and shattered, and falling apart. Emmett swooped in, and Alice and Jane both tried to help them too. Rosalie accepted it; Jasper didn't trust them enough at the time.

There had been two moments, I still knew, where my friend gave me an opening to do something. Talk to him about it. Help him somehow. Offer to _find_ him some help from a professional. Jasper did trust me and I knew it.

_I_ didn't trust me, though. I felt confused and upset with my own life. Was I in any condition to try and fix Jasper when all I was doing to _myself_ was stomping my broken bits smaller?

I did what we all did, what we _all_ always did. I took a back seat and just watched as my happy and playful friend wrapped himself deeper and deeper into the dark and unwarranted shadows of agony and guilt.

Five months later to the day the Royce and James thing happened. Everything was shattered. The systems we all had built for ourselves, the very structure a lot of people seemed to stand on. Broken. Unstable. _Gone_.

A week after it happened was the day Alice started retreating into herself. It was the day Uncle David and Aunt Mary told her she would be fine once the shock wore off, and told her that it was un-necessary to get some therapy.

They were idiots. They were the idiots that took a girl who felt like she was barely clinging onto life and tossed her into the vast unknown. Doomed her to float about in unknown territory until she found something to grab onto and never let go of.

It was September 12 of that year that Alice took hold onto Peter.

Unlike the rest of us, he wasn't just shying away from all the tragedy. He wasn't watching Alice trip into the mud and try to free herself from the thick, sticky substance. He was grabbing her, yanking her out, setting her back on her feet, and hitting her for not watching where she was going.

I knew that we all knew it was a bad idea. Everyone did. But she ignored us. And she clung onto him. And we did nothing.

We were all useless.

Alice's half-relieved, half-sorrowful, voice instantly snapped me out of my thoughts the moment she broke the thick silence that had settled in around us. I listened to what she said with half an ear. "He won't talk to anyone. See if you can get him to."

Had someone entered the house? I didn't hear them. I let my head fall to the side so I could see who it was. My brain registered no surprise when it turned out to be Jasper- with Bella close behind.

Jasper's voice was gentle and he asked me, "Edward, are you okay?"

_No. Not even close. Don't you know that?_ What sort of a question was that? I probably didn't _look_ okay. I knew I was very OCD about myself. My room, my life, my appearance. If any one of those tilted, they all tumbled downhill eventually.

Life had been shoved off its shelf. I was wearing ruffled clothes, I could _feel_ that my hair was messier than usual, and I was starting to feel a little weird. It wouldn't be long before my bedroom was in shambles.

Just wait, you'll see.

Wait a second; what got my thoughts onto this string? Had he asked me a question?

Alice sensed my cloud of disorientation. I felt her hand pat my shoulder, letting me know she was here for me. Jasper's eyes were starting to spark with an emotion I'd consider was close to fear. He pressured, "Edward, do you understand what I'm saying?"

_Yes. Of course I do, stupid. I can speak English, can't I?_ I looked to Alice, just to make sure I should answer. She'd take care of me. She'd make sure I was doing what I was supposed to be doing.

"Tell Jasper what you told me." She quietly ordered. I felt a spark of hesitation. Had I told her something? I didn't remember. There was only one thing I would have.

I looked back towards my friend, meeting him in the eye this time. That's what he would want, some sort of sign that I was still mentally coherent. I tried to claw at my spirit, struggling to find the will to speak. "My dad is leaving tonight. He'll be gone for six months. He's going to Indiana, to a training camp for the new recruits."

"You still have all of us." Jasper reminded me immediately. That was the most affectionate and supportive we got with one another. Neither of us could really get too close, even though we could probe the other's mind with frightening accuracy.

But this time he had missed the mark, because he was wrong. He wasn't here for me. Only Alice was, and what did that mean? She couldn't even be here for herself. I was alone the instant that dad's car disappeared down the road.

Sighing deeply, I leaned against my cousin. I just let myself go limp as I gazed at the wall, staring at the blank white canvas while idle chattering was tossed about the room.

"It's not like I'm complaining or anything, but he seems more out of it than usual. And he's not flipping out like last time. What's up with that?" That was Alec's voice. When did Alec get here?

"You're not going to like the answer." Tanya informed the room, sounding extremely displeased.

"Why not?" Jasper snapped, his voice flaming with pre-needed hostility. He _did_ care about me; it was too bad that got us nowhere.

Nothing ever got us anywhere.

I pinched my eyes closed and blocked out all the voices, not even caring what the others were doing with me. They could stick me in a bag and toss me into the ocean. I _really_ wouldn't care. Maybe that would be even better.

A while later my attention was demanded. Jasper's strong hands gripped my elbow and he heaved me onto my feet. I wasn't a vegetable, you know. I didn't just fall into him like a jellyfish. I actually used the bones and muscles God had granted me to stand up and walk beside him as he tugged me outside.

I was put into the back of his car. Tanya sat beside me, her hand gently squeezing me. I was surprised by this gesture of silent support, but I didn't jerk away from her.

A while later the car stopped. She let go of me and went into my house. I fell against the window, cheek against the class and shoulder to the door. I didn't bother righting myself. I didn't see a point.

"Bella, you want to come help me?" Jasper asked our classmate.

I saw her worried eyes flicker onto me. "Is he going to be alright alone?"

No. I wasn't going to be all right. It wouldn't matter if she were with me or not. Or anyone else for that matter. They were with me, but they were never _with_ me. They never understood me, and they never helped me. Like I said, useless. All of us.

I hadn't realized that I had been left alone while I was lost in thought. I hadn't realized that the door was open, either, until I saw the familiar silhouette that made my heart jolt from slow-paced into hyper activity.

I fumbled out of my seat belt and kicked the door open, scrambling over to my father. I stood directly in front of him and asked, "Are you going now?"

"Yes, I'm going now." He answered quietly, gazing down at me with gentle eyes.

_Leaving, leaving, leaving_.

"Are you going to email home?" I asked, feeling my heart start to throb frantically in my chest.

"Of course." He confirmed simply. He always emailed us, but it wasn't ever really enough. He gazed sternly at me and warned, "You be good for your mother, Edward."

"Okay." I whispered sadly. It was sad because we both knew it was a lie. Well, an empty promise. It wasn't a lie, because I didn't try to be a bad kid, I just was.

His arms wrapped around me. I buried my face into his shoulder and clung to him. After a few seconds he patted my back and pulled away from me. I watched as he got into his car and pulled out of the driveway.

Pain lanced through my heart. He was gone. I felt my walls rumble and collapse. I could practically hear them shattering at my feet. My mental state withered and I sank to the ground, wrapping my arms around my knees and letting tears spill from my eyes.

Someone set their hands on my shoulders. The voice spoke to me. It was Bella. "Come on, Edward, let's go back to the car."

I did not move. I didn't look at her, or blink, I scarcely breathed. It was all going to get worse now. Life was going to spiral into the darkness, and I didn't have a flashlight. I didn't know how to get out.

"Edward?"

I turned my head away. What did she care, anyway? We had a few playful moments with Alice. We talked about books. We helped each other beat sense into Mike during class. She helped me with my horrible sense of grammar, I gave her answers for her Calculus homework. That didn't mean we were great friends. That didn't mean she knew me. So why did she care?

"What's going on?" A second female voice, Tanya's voice, asked suddenly.

"I couldn't get him to get up." Bella reported quietly.

Jasper yanked me to my feet and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. I leaned on him as he walked across the driveway and to the car. He was muttering something in my ear, but I couldn't make out the words. I just ducked into the back seat like he wanted me to and wrapped my arms around the bag he put in my lap.

Tanya returned to my side, and she gently pulled me into a hug. I desperately tried to find some comfort in her supportive touch as I broke down and sobbed into her shirt. She tightened her arms around me and asked sadly, "Why are you crying, Edward?"

I didn't answer her. I was afraid to answer her. I didn't even really know what to say. I just didn't know what else to do right now.

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**Teaser for c22:** I didn't understand where it had come from all of the sudden, but it made me shiver.

_All reviewers who say more than "update soon" or "great chapter" will get an extended teaser!_

_(Sorry I only wrote back to like three of you. Been busy. :O)  
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	32. Chapter 22: Dreary Winter

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_It did snow that night. Hell, it didn't just snow. Even if we weren't_ _snowed in, Forks was hit with the worst blizzard it had seen in years._

Jasper was as smug as a lottery winner when he opened the front curtain. "See that, Bella? What did I tell you? I knew it- I had that feeling."

I rolled my eyes good-naturedly. "Oh yes, you just knew it. I don't know _what_ I was thinking when I doubted your sixth sense for weather reading."

Jasper glared at me from over his shoulder. I chuckled and made my way towards the kitchen. He bounced after me and asked, "What do you want for breakfast?"

"What are you having?" I asked, not caring too much.

He shrugged. "I always let Rose pick. Lazy thing isn't out of bed yet."

"I am so," Rosalie protested as she stumbled into the room. She winced when she sat down at the kitchen table. "And I am not eating here today."

"Why not?" Jasper asked curiously.

She smiled. "I'm going out with Caius."

Jasper scowled. Rosalie glared at him, and he took a deep breath to center himself. Looking slightly less unhappy, he asked, "And when is he picking you up?"

Rosalie bit her bottom lip and looked the other way. She began to twiddle her thumbs. It was surprising for me to see that. She looked hesitant, and I couldn't recall her ever looking like that before.

"Well," Rosalie started off timidly. "He doesn't have to pick me up. He spent the night here."

We both jumped when the egg in Jasper's hand shattered, splattering the counter. His back was facing us, but you didn't need to see his face to tell he was furious with this bit of information. His entire body was as rigid as stone, and an almost growl-like sound came out of his throat.

Rosalie whisked over to him and hugged him from behind. "Jasper, don't be mad."

"_Mad_," he started to answer, and I winced when I heard how sharp and cold his tone was, "Doesn't do it justice, Rosalie."

She turned on the sink faucet for him, gently shoving his egg covered hand under it. She whimpered, "He said he was going to leave. I _wanted_ him to stay with me."

"Why?" He ripped his arm out of her grasp and shook his hand off.

Rosalie shrugged. "Why not? You have Bella here. She slept with you in your bed yesterday."

Jasper crossed his arms. "We didn't do anything."

Four simple words seemed to slam exactly the wrong button of Rosalie's. Her previously gentle attitude took a 360 turn. Her face hardened, and she shouted, "And what the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Jasper opened his mouth, but she wasn't finished yet. She snapped viciously, "I'm not six, Jasper. I can take care of myself. You just stay the hell out of my life and try worrying about yourself for once. _I_ have a dad, so you can stop trying to act like one."

Whirling around with both the grace and fury of a tiger, Rosalie stormed into the living room. She bellowed for Caius to hurry up- and ten seconds later both of them were out of the house.

I glanced warily at Jasper and felt my heart break when I saw him. Tears were collecting in his eyes and he looked lost. His sister's sudden, fierce rejection of his love had sent him into a confusion. It didn't look like he knew which way to head to escape it.

I went over to him and gently set my hand on his shoulder. "Jasper, are you okay?"

He blinked, which caused the wall of tears to slide down his cheek. He shook his head sadly. I hugged him gently, setting my cheek on his chest. His arms tightened around me, and his nose pressed into my hair.

I attempted to soothe him. "She didn't mean it, Jasper."

"I know," he whispered, "but it still hurts to hear her say it."

I looked up at him, and he frowned. Smiling a little I stretched up to kiss his tears away. He smiled back at me, just a little bit.

Our lips met ever so gently, and I was surprised by how much the connection between us seemed to blaze. Just one tender- dare I say loving?- touch between us meant more to me then anything else ever had before.

I was frightened by that intensity. I didn't understand where it had come from all of the sudden, but it made me shiver.

Like most others of the human race, I instinctively backed away from this unknown territory.

"Breakfast," I reminded him quietly. "You're making it today. I've never had one of your famous fried egg sandwiches."

Jasper studied me for a second before smiling again. It was a soft, sad smile. He agreed, "I'll make some. You're drinking a coke with it- like it or not."

I laughed once to mostly myself. He was serious about that. Oh well, he was still going to lose.

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Alice called a few hours later and demanded we meet her at the library. It was closed today, but as her parents owned the place, that didn't really matter. It wasn't long after the call that we were there. Alice was pacing in the front. As soon as Jasper and I were out of the car, she darted over to us.

"You came!" Her face lit up with the force of her smile.

"And why is that, exactly?" Jasper asked curiously.

"You two are coming with me. You have no choice. Follow." She turned and bounced into the building. I shared a glance with Jasper, but he just shrugged. We followed her into the small library.

It looked like a tornado had blown through it. The shelves were totally empty, and stacks- mountains- of books lay sporadically placed around.

Alice turned to us and explained quietly, "My mom called me and told me to come here today. I didn't want to come alone."

Esme was here, too. I could see her flittering about in the back.

"Alice!" Her head snapped to the side when a man's voice summoned her. She bounced over to him and smiled, "Yeah, dad?"

_Dad_. It was David Brandon. Jasper was right; it was difficult to tell the similarities. His eyes were brown, and his face was not as round and soft as hers. Besides, _he_ was rather tall.

"Alice," her father started, "Would you like to help me and mom re-catalogue the library?"

"Sure!" She answered immediately. Her dad patted her shoulder before disappearing around the corner.

Alice looked _thrilled_. It was just agonizing, knowing that such a terribly simple and half-hearted gesture could make her so damn giddy.

Jasper shook his head sadly, and I heard Esme sigh gently behind me. Alice grinned and danced over to us. She was glowing when she announced, "You three are helping me. Come on, Esme."

She flittered away, and like always, Esme followed her without complaining.

"You know," Jasper whispered to me, "I bet if a bookshelf fell on her and crushed her right now, Alice would be able to die with a smile."

My mind instantly flickered to yesterday's conversation with Rosalie. The conversation about Nuka from The Lion King 2.

'_Does three seconds actually make up for a lifetime of neglect?'_

Jasper met my eyes, and I frowned. I startled us both with how sad my voice sounded as I whispered back, "It's the best she could have asked for."

We were set to work in the poetry section of the shelves. I was organizing Robert Frost, and Jasper was doing Edgar Allen Poe.

"Alice is basalt," I randomly announced to him. I took him by such surprise he actually let the book slip from his fingers as he stared at me with wide, wondering eyes.

"Basalt?" He queried in disbelief. I nodded firmly, which led him to ask, "_Why_?"

"Because, first off, it's the rock that covers most of the Earth's surface." Basalt was everywhere in the oceans because it came from the growing volcanoes. Besides that, it was common above the crust as well.

I elaborated a bit, "Alice is affiliated with everyone. If we make up the Earth, her being everywhere makes sense. Besides, sandstone is also a common crust rock, and she drags Edward almost everywhere she goes."

Jasper looked deeply interested now. He nodded once, a silent signal for me to continue.

"It's igneous, of course, which automatically means she's misunderstood." I smiled at him a little, and he returned the smile. We had established long ago that other people, by default, read anyone igneous wrong. Except us other igneous people of course.

I finished on a bitter note. "Basalt is used primarily for blacktops and pathways. That implies that it's only good for being walked all over by everyone."

"Damn," Jasper whispered. After a few seconds, he looked away and agreed, "Alice _is_ Basalt."

We avoided all conversation about rocks the rest of the time we stocked.

Two or three hours had passed by the time Alice appeared around the corner. She announced, "I've grown bored with this."

What a surprise. Someone as energetic as her was _not_ meant to spend a day in a library. Jasper and I were having a good time. Before we put a book on the shelf, we opened it to a random page, and using only a sentence on that page, tried to make a coherent conversation.

"Bella," Alice addressed me, "Will you spend the rest of the day with me? I'll be _so_ bored alone."

Jasper jumped onto the invitation for me. "I think you should go, Bella. You can't spend all your time with me- you need some females around."

He was right. And, I had my choice of Alice or Rosalie...

"Where are we going?" I asked as I stood up.

"Walking back to my house. We can wait for your dad to call." She smiled and flounced to the end of the isle, exchanging words with Esme.

Jasper hugged me close to him and smiled. "Have fun with your girl time."

"Try not to miss me too much." I smiled back at him.

"That is entirely impossible." He answered seriously. I smiled and tugged him down a little so I could kiss him. His arms tightened around my back, and he deepened the kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck and playfully nipped his bottom lip.

"Hey!" Alice's loud protest interrupted us. "This is a public library. Save the action for the bedroom."

Esme smirked at Alice and muttered, "Or the back of a car?"

A glare more deadly then any Rosalie have ever given washed across Alice's face. Esme took a step away from her, smiling innocently.

Jasper shook his head and sighed, "Thanks so much for the mental image, Esme, not what I needed."

Esme shrugged.

Alice nudged Jasper away from me and twined her right arm with my left one. "Bella is mine until after five, sorry Jasper." She started dragging me towards the front of the library. I waved to Jasper and Esme just before we stepped outside into the cold December air.

As we strolled towards her house, Alice announced, "I wish I had a dog."

I glanced at her in surprise. "Really?"

She was all over the place! I knew Jasper said she was _capable_ of taking full care of herself- but at the current moment in time she didn't seem to be living up to that standard. These past few days she had been super clingy to Peter. Could she even keep a dog alive right now?

"If I was going into the truffle business, I would have one." Alice shrugged.

"Are you going into the truffle business?" I asked seriously.

"Maybe not." she answered with a smile. "But if I get a dog, I could."

"Okay," I succumbed to my curiosity. "I wasn't going to ask, but I had to. What does a dog have to do with your possible future truffle business?"

Alice looked at me like I was oblivious. I was, but that was beside the point. Her tone was entirely confident when she elaborated on her scheme. "A bloodhound- or any other hound for that matter- could sniff the truffles out for me faster then some fat old pig. The pig probably downs six bites before anyone can get to it, anyway. A dog doesn't eat truffles! It would find them totally unharmed and wait for a treat."

Hound dogs for truffle gathering… She did make a good point, in her own strange way.

"What about a poodle?" I asked her. "They can smell cancer. I'm sure they could find a truffle."

My friend smiled brightly. "Yeah! Bloodhounds and poodles! We can invest in them, and buy like thirty, and make a fortune before we're twenty five."

"Not really." I was forced to deny her dream. "We'd spend more money on their health care, and the trainers, then we'd get back in the actual truffle sale. It would just be a waste of effort and funds."

Her playful frown made it clear she agreed with me. We both giggled a little at the conversation that took place. First glow in the dark stuffed animals, and now truffle dogs. What next?

Oh, wait, I knew what was next! Nothing nearly as light as the aforementioned conversations, but still important.

"Did you happen to call Tanya and see how Edward's doing?" I asked quietly. We were not quite sure how being wrongly medicated would effect him, even considering its low dosage. It was still not going to mesh well with his body.

Alice looked away guiltily, like she had yesterday. "He's just pretty upset. He gets so lost when Uncle Eddie leaves."

I looked her in the eye and pressured, "The pill didn't do anything bad to him?"

"Well, sort of." She admitted. "He _may_ have gotten light headed and passed out last night, after throwing up once."

Alice bit her bottom lip and warily glanced at me. She looked so terrified you'd think I was going to hit her for sharing that information with me. I would never hit her. However, I had a few choice, strongly opinionated, words that I would have loved for her to hear. However, the tears that were collecting in her eyes swayed me to be kind to her. She didn't deserve me being mean when she already felt bad.

I hugged her sort of sideways as we walked and sighed lightly. "Why did you give it to him, Alice, if you knew he wasn't supposed to have it? Self-medicating is dangerous."

"It was just a Seroquel that Peter took from his sister Charlotte. It isn't the end of the world, Bella." Alice frowned at me. She looked disappointed, but I was almost positive it was directed towards herself.

"What if he had an allergy?" I asked seriously. "He _could_ have died."

Alice fell silent. Her building tears slipped down her cheeks, and she bitterly wiped them away. It didn't help. It didn't take long before she had burst into heavy tears. I stopped walking, just holding her in a supportive hug.

She leaned against my shoulder and sobbed, "P-Peter said that h-he'd be fine! I didn't want to g-give it to him, but… what was I s-supposed to do?"

"You don't have to listen to Peter." I pointed out firmly. It was scary- how readily and instantly she did whatever he told her to. What sort of an influence did he have on her if he could get her to drug her own cousin? A cousin who was like a brother to her?

"I do," she whispered intensely. It was a harsh whisper. Almost accusing. Almost like I was wronging her by not agreeing with her statement. Alice shook her head and sadly assured me, "_I do_. You don't get it, Bella. Peter means everything to me. He helped me through some really horrible stuff a few years ago, and he's stood beside me ever since."

I didn't dare interrupt her and tell her I already knew this story, via collected information from other people. I had understood her portrait, so she probably gathered I knew already.

I was just happy that she was opening up to me.

Wiping her face again she continued, "I need him. He always knows what to do for me, just like he said. He told me he knew how to help Edward. I thought he meant…"

Alice trailed off, and her face blanched. Whatever thought ran across her mind was making her close to sick. It was frightening. I didn't even _consider_ asking her what was on her mind. I was positive I was better off not knowing.

Alice drew away from me suddenly and shivered. She sluggishly started walking again and decided, "Let's just go home and do something."

Her eyes were very troubled. I assumed it would be best to do what she wanted and try to keep her happy. Distracted, maybe.

For the first time since I met her, I was suddenly glad I was not inside of Alice Brandon's head. It didn't seem like such a wonderful land to go and visit.

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_Dr. Carlisle has tourettes._

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	33. Twenty Two in Alice's POV

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AN: The letters on this chapter went all spazzy and jumbled. Sorry to flood the emails of all who've seen it already! But I had to fix it. :D

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_**The Project**_

_**Chapter Twenty-Two**_

_**Alice's POV**_

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"Love can touch us one time, and last for a lifetime, and never let go till we're gone..." I recited theatrically, watching Marcus with a critical eye.

"Titanic theme song." He answered without hesitation.

I huffed. "What the hell? You hate Celine Dion!"

"Esme doesn't." He shrugged. Esme giggled from elsewhere in the house.

I scowled and chose an even "girlier" song. "I can't forget the day you left, time is so unkind, and life is so cruel without you here beside me..."

Marcus smirked. Well, damn it all. "Toni Braxton, Unbreak My Heart."

I folded my arms and shook my head. "Esme, you've _ruined_ my cousin."

My friend entered the room, carrying a small tray of sandwiches. She pawned one off on myself and Marcus, before taking the third for herself and sitting down. "I didn't ruin him. I broadened his musical horizons. I made him better!"

Marcus's eyes widened, and he glanced at Esme. "You don't like me the way I am? I'm _hurt_, Esme."

Esme glanced at him, smiling gently. She kissed him before assuring, "I love you just the way you are, sweetheart."

He smiled, his gray eyes _glowing_, and nuzzled her cheek with some sort of… purr?

I just about gagged on my sandwich. Swallowing, I plead, "Really, can you two save that cuddly stuff for her house? You're making me positively ill."

Marcus shot me an agitated glower from over his shoulder. "Like you and Peter never touch one another with us around."

I crossed my legs and sniffed. "That's entirely different."

He rolled his eyes, then glanced at his watch. "I have to go to work."

"What do you have a job for?" I asked, for probably the zillionth time. His parents together made more than Esme's dad, and he was a doctor. Marcus would probably never have to work if he didn't want to.

"Because, unlike _some_ people," he glared at us playfully, "I want experience before I toss myself into the real world as an adult. Do you think I like the idea of floundering around because I have no idea how to get along with other people?"

I laughed once, surprised with myself by how bitter it was. "Marcus, you've been living in the real world since you were little."

He started taking care of himself when he was five. On the streets with me at seven, and watching over Aro at nine. Acting like a father and a brother for a bunch of outcasts his entire life. He watched two of his best friends die. He knew what it was like to be at rock bottom and on cloud nine.

Not many people have that much life experience when they're nineteen.

Marcus forced a pained smile onto his face. "Just try to have a good day, Alice."

I shrugged, taking another bite of my sandwich. I realized it was turkey, which perked me up a little. It was my favorite.

"See ya, baby." He called to Esme as he exited the house. "Call you tonight."

"Have fun at work!" She yelled after him as he closed the door.

"So what are we doing today, anyway?" I asked her casually, setting my feet on the coffee table. Peter was with Victoria and Laurent today. I couldn't go to his house or anything. Well, I _could_, because I had a key. But what would I do that for?

Esme shrugged, giving me the same annoying answer she always gave me. "You pick."

I remember a time, when we were young and used to play with Edward in his backyard, when Esme actually used to think for herself. A time when my quiet and timid best friend would actually voice her opinions. She was once a strong person, unafraid of being outgoing and social.

But that was a long time ago. The day Esme attended her big brother's funeral, the person she had been closest to in life, was the day her spirit broke.

The phone rang, and I yanked it off the base. Clicking it on I answered, not caring who it was or why they were calling, "What?"

"Alice?" a female voice asked. I was a little sickened with myself, because it took me almost three whole seconds to realize it my was mom.

"Yeah, it's me." I was sure I sounded more cheerful than I would have liked to.

"Are you busy, Alice?" she asked me. I barely even noticed that she sounded distracted.

"Not really, why?" I answered her, disgusted with how hopeful I was letting myself feel. Did she want me to do something for her? I could _totally_ do something for her. Errands were no problem.

"Why don't you come down to the library today? We're-"

"I'll be there soon." I interrupted her, not actually caring what she was doing down there. I hung up the phone, jittering around.

"Where are we going?" Esme asked, suddenly more alert than she had been before.

"Mom wants us to go down to the library today." I answered instantly.

"Really? What for?" She inquired curiously.

And then the dread started to build. That was a great question, actually. I had no idea. It could be anything. Even worse, it could be _nothing_.

Without thinking, I picked up the phone and dialed a number. It rang a few times before a familiar voice answered it. "Hello?"

I felt my throat tighten, and I gripped the cordless nervously. "Jasper?"

"Alice?" He asked, sounding startled. "What is it?"

"Um… You and Bella should come over to the library, if you're not busy or anything." I started to ramble. I always rambled when I didn't know what else to do. "It's closed for the winter renovations, but you know, we can still get in and everything. If you want?"

I made a mental note to hit myself later for sounding so stupid.

"Okay..." He responded slowly. "I'll go find Bella. Meet you there."

"Thanks." I answered, hanging the phone up again. I smiled at Esme, "Do you want to come?"

She shrugged, "I have nothing better to do."

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I parked the car, and Esme went inside ahead of me. I told her I would wait for Jasper and Bella. Unable to keep still, I started pacing.

Were they actually coming? It was not like Jasper to say he'd do something then not do it, but you could never be too sure.

I smiled when Jasper's car pulled into the driveway and flounced over there once the two of them slipped out. I grinned, "You came!"

"And why is that, exactly?" Jasper asked me.

I didn't want to stand out in the cold for any longer than what was necessary. "You two are coming with me. You have no choice. Follow."

Once we were inside of the totally unorganized library, I gave them my attention. I tried not to sound as worried as I was. "My mom called me and told me to come here today. I didn't want to come alone."

"Alice!" My dad's voice made me jump. He was a few feet away.

I eagerly scampered over to him, looking up and smiling happily. "Yeah, dad?"

"Alice, would you like to help me and mom re-catalogue the library?" He asked casually.

He and mom wanted me to help them with the library? They loved this little library. I had long ago accepted the fact that _it_ was their pride and joy. Where they spent most of their time, and where all of their attention went.

And they were inviting me to share in that with them.

"Sure!" I accepted quickly.

I was stunned, down to my very bone, when he reached forward and patted my shoulder. The hand of my father gently, perhaps approvingly, made physical contact with me.

My heart jolted with excitement, and I felt like my entire body started to thrum with glee. _Finally!_

I beamed and returned to my friends. The more of us occupying ourselves the more we could get done. "You three are helping me. Come on, Esme."

She followed me over to the non-fiction section of the library, and we set to work on the towering shelf.

We had finished two complete shelves, of the five total, within the section by the time three hours had passed.

The Dewey decimal system was _not_ my friend.

_Boredom._

_Boredom._

_Boredom._

Lynda Barry, I _couldn't care_ _less_ about your life in Seattle and the troubles you had. We had them here in Forks. You were nothing special, lady.

Was it possible for a brain to melt?

"Alice, you don't have to stay here all day." Esme pointed out after glancing at me. I was sure I looked like my brain was melting.

"But you're doing that thing with your dad in an hour." I reminded. He had some important doctor lunch, and she had to go. "I have nothing else to do all day today."

"Bella can do stuff with you." She pointed out.

Hmm, good point!

I scrambled off the floor and wandered to the other side of the library. I could hear Bella and Jasper talking to one another.

Bella's voice recited, "The sunrise, sire, compelleth me- because he's sunrise, and I see- there, then, I love thee."

Emily Dickinson. Poetry section.

I ducked around a stack of books. Jasper replied, "All that we see or seem, is but a dream within a dream."

Bella giggled. "Didn't we already shelf Poe?"

"I found him under Fontaine." Jasper reported.

"Who reads Fontaine anymore?" Bella scoffed lightly.

"A swelling bosom on her cheeks, roses' and lilies' mingled streaks," Jasper recited with a flare of drama, making me roll my eyes. "A sparkling eyes- all these, you know, speak well for what is found below."

"You would." Bella muttered, and I saw her shake her head lightly as I rounded the corner and came into view.

"I've grown bored with this." I updated them. "Bella, will you spend the rest of the day with me? I'll be _so_ bored alone."

"I think you should go, Bella." Jasper urged. "You can't spend all your time with me- you need some females around."

Bella stood up and asked, "Where are we going?"

Her dad was scheduled to call my house in an hour or two. I decided, "Walking back to my house. We can wait for your dad to call."

I smiled and went over to Esme. "You can use the car. You'll be late if you don't leave like… soon."

I handed her the keys. She pocketed them. "Thanks. I'll bring it back over tomorrow."

"I'm going to be with Peter next week." I reminded her. "Just keep the car until I need it."

I glanced at Bella and Jasper, surprised to see the two of them quite passionately displaying themselves. There was something in Jasper's eyes- a look I knew quite well- that made me alert.

"Hey!" I protested, maybe _too_ loud for the building we were in. "This is a public library. Save the action for the bedroom."

Jasper shot me a glower. Esme smirked at me and playfully nudged, "Or the back of a car?"

I glared at Esme, ready to kill her. In _confidence_, while babbling to one another over nothing in particular (and just a little more than slightly drunk), I had told her that my preferred spot to get intimate with Peter was his car.

He had a van, and he was not much bigger than I was. We had a lot of room and privacy.

That traitor.

Esme smiled and moved away from me. Jasper sighed, "Thanks so much for the mental image, Esme, not what I needed."

Shunning them both, I forced Jasper away from Bella and hooked my arm with hers. "Bella is mine until after five, sorry Jasper."

I pulled Bella outside, and we started for my house. A random thought came to mind, as they often do, and I mused aloud, "I wish I had a dog."

She looked at me, and she seemed surprised. "Really?"

"If I was going into the truffle business, I would have one." I shrugged, thinking nothing more of it.

"Are you going into the truffle business?" She asked me, sounding totally serious.

I smiled. She was the only person, besides Jasper that is, who would have these sorts of talks with me. Everyone else just thought I was crazy. Peter would tell me to stop being weird.

"Maybe not. But if I get a dog, I could." I answered.

"Okay, I wasn't going to ask, but I had to. What does a dog have to do with your possible future truffle business?"

I glanced at her, wondering how she possibly didn't know this. She needed to start thinking like me! "A bloodhound- or any other hound for that matter- could sniff the truffles out for me faster than some fat old pig.

The pig probably downs six bites before anyone can get to it, anyway. A dog doesn't eat truffles! It would find them totally unharmed and wait for a treat."

As always, she played along with me. "What about a poodle? They can smell cancer. I'm sure they could find a truffle."

Brilliant! I smiled and agreed. "Yeah! Bloodhounds and poodles! We can invest in them, and buy like thirty, and make a fortune before we're twenty five."

"Not really." Bella shot my idea down. Killjoy. "We'd spend more money on their health care, and the trainers, than we'd get back in the actual truffle sale. It would just be a waste of effort and funds."

I frowned a little, and then we started to giggle at our own silliness.

After a second, she asked me, "Did you happen to call Tanya and see how Edward's doing?"

I avoided her gaze, feeling guilt gnaw at me. Peter may have supplied the pill we gave to Edward, but he didn't _give_ it to him. Did anyone think he actually could have? Edward would have broken him in half for suggesting something like that.

Peter knew that, of course.

"_Think about it. The kid would take cyanide from you if you told him he should. He's always listened you, he trusts you."_

"_I don't know, Peter. It's not safe..."_

"_Sure it is, Alice! I've taken them before. It's just a mood stabilizer. Go on and give it to him. He'll be fine, I promise."_

"He's just pretty upset." I answered evasively. "He gets so lost when Uncle Eddie leaves."

"The pill didn't do anything bad to him?" Bella asked, looking at me directly with her sharp brown eyes.

"Well, sort of." I answered reluctantly. Was it her mission to make me feel worse? "He _may_ have gotten light headed and passed out last night, after throwing up once."

I bit my bottom lip, looking fearfully at Bella's outraged face. I tried to stop myself from crying. It seemed like that was all I did recently- cry. Or drink. I was so damn tired of both.

Bella wrapped her arms around me as we continued down the sidewalk, and she sighed. "Why did you give it to him, Alice, if you knew he wasn't supposed to have it? Self-medicating is dangerous."

Hah, dangerous. What did she know? She'd probably never done it. It was perfectly safe if you didn't overdose.

I felt myself flood with severe disappointment. "It was just a Seroquel that Peter took from his sister Charlotte." _Because _she_ never uses them, God forbid that. _"It isn't the end of the world, Bella."

"What if he had an allergy? He _could_ have died." Bella pointed out gravely.

Edward… dying. Dying because _I_ gave him something I knew he shouldn't have. Something that I should have shoved down Peter's throat just for being suggested, but I was too weak to say no to him so I did what he wanted.

The very idea of Edward dying at all, let alone because of me, made my eyes start to spill. I tried to stop them, but it didn't matter.

Memories I tried so very hard to repress, pictures of James and Royce's cold bodies sitting in caskets, suddenly were replaced.

Instead I saw Edward; someone I cared about so much, he was like my brother; as the pale, motionless corpse.

I stopped walking as I began to blubber. Why did I try to deny anything anymore? Edward hurt, and I couldn't help him. I hated myself because my parents hated me. I let Peter give me things that made me feel sick and useless.

I didn't care, either, because I needed him. He loved me and was trying to help me, and I was just clinging onto him because I was _terrified_ of the very idea of being alone again.

I knew he would stay with me, because we made a promise to one another when we were little. We had lived by that promise ever since. It was simple, it was concrete, and both parties always won.

Loyalty always.

I had not been very loyal to Edward, though, had I? I told him the very first time his dad left, when we were nine- before I even really knew Peter- that I would always be here for him. That I would help him no matter what, because he was family, and that was what family was probably supposed to do.

I leaned against Bella, finding it very draining to stand. I tried to make my entire sentence coherent when I pled with her, somehow begging her to understand. "P-Peter said that h-he'd be fine! I didn't want to g-give it to him, but… what was I s-supposed to do?"

"You don't have to listen to Peter." She asserted confidently.

"I do." I instantly and resentfully disagreed. Why didn't she get it? Why couldn't she just fucking understand? I shook my head and whispered, heartbroken by the memories, "_I do_. You don't get it, Bella. Peter means everything to me. He helped me through some really horrible stuff a few years ago, and he's stood beside me ever since."

I let go of her and tried to dry my eyes. She had understood my portrait- I had seen it in her eyes. She had taken one look at it and knew everything my heart told me.

That I needed to let Edward help me like he did back in May. It had been a little over a year since I stopped taking Peter's drugs for the first time, but it had only been five months since I stopped all together. Addiction is a bitch. I felt kind of depressed without it, so I found Victoria and asked her for something. She asked if I was afraid of needles, and I told her no. Edward convinced me to stop.

That I needed to forget my parents like they forgot me, and just find who I was. I needed to get my face back. I needed to stop trying to be David and Mary's dream daughter, and just be Alice.

That I needed to try and fight my way away from Peter, because he had too much control over me. If he told me to jump off a bridge, telling me that the water would be safe no matter what it _seemed_ like, I would stupidly believe him. If he told me not to do something for no reason, I would stop. If he told me he loved me, I would give him the one and only key to my heart with a smile.

Bella saw that. Why couldn't she see anything else? Why couldn't she see that he was all I had left?

I wiped my cheeks off. "I need him. He always knows what to do for me, just like he said. He told me he knew how to help Edward. I thought he meant…"

I felt the blood drain from my face. What _had_ I thought? That Peter would do for Edward what he does for me? Load him with illegal substances so he couldn't possibly feel anything except for happy or numb?

Would I have really been stupid enough to let Peter force Edward into the life I had entered, blindly stumbling after him?

_Yes._

My body quivered, and I felt disgusted with myself. I pulled away from Bella and tried to drag my feet back towards my house. I just wanted to get home. "Let's just go home and do something."

Anything, anything at all, would be better than sulking like this. I knew I was broken. I knew that I belonged to Peter. I knew that I hated life, and some deep part of me wished Alec had let me die two years ago.

I knew it, just like I knew I was not going to try and do anything about it.

Why should I? What was the point?

It's not like any of it mattered to anyone.

It's not like _I_ mattered to anyone, anymore.

* * *

_**A look into an interlude:**_

_Her voice was steely, but not unkind, when she answered. "I __barely touched you and it almost gave you a heart attack."_

* * *


	34. Interlude for Chapter Twenty Three

* * *

**_Interlude_**

**_Chapter 23.5_**

**_Carlisle's Everything  
_**

* * *

I wondered if the pain in a kid's heart was able to throb angrier than the raw wounds on his face. At that moment, it surely seemed like it was possible. Not just that, it _felt_ like it was possible as I gazed at my reflection in the window of Rosalie's kitchen.

My eyes were trained on the seeping wound on my face- well, one of them. Did you ever wonder if the top of the cheekbone had the thinnest amount of flesh compared to other parts of the face? Excluding the eyelids, of course.

I never had, until today. Until the blunt force of my own dad's hand broke the skin right open. Why would it have been _that_ easy unless the skin was thin? Had he really hit me _that_ hard?

All I needed to do was get over my denial if I really wanted an answer.

I chocked back a sob and sank onto the ground, leaning back against the cupboards. I winced as I wiped my face off with my shirt. Closing my eyes I buried my face in my arms and, with just half an ear, listened to the heated argument Rosalie and Jasper were now screaming at each other.

"Are you just trying to make his life harder?" Rose demanded fiercely, probably glaring Jasper down with a pair of sharp violet eyes.

"Don't be like that, Rose." He ordered with a hard voice. "He called you-"

"It doesn't matter what he said!" She interrupted him angrily. "It _doesn't_ matter. You have to stop trying to protect me, I can do it myself _without_ someone getting hurt."

"You can protect yourself?" He spat acidic. "Really? Because it damn sure doesn't seem like you can! First the Emmett thing, and now you let Caius prey on you. I told you he was just going to use you. I was right, and like usual you didn't listen to me! Are you happy-"

Again, she didn't allow him the change to rant for too long. She out-shouted him, "Do you know what would make me happy, Jasper? If you got the hell out of my life and stopped causing me trouble!"

"_Fine!_" He snarled, stomping away. I heard the door to his room slam- very loudly- a few seconds later.

Great. Now look what I did! I forced a rift between the two of them, when the tension at school required them to be closer than ever. All I did was cause problems. It should just run away and then everything would be better. Bella wouldn't have to look after me. Rose and Jasper would be happy again. My dad could stop being mad all the time.

Something brushed my shoulder. I felt my soul almost leap right out of my body. Heart racing, I shied the opposite direction and snapped my head to the side. Rosalie was kneeling there, and she had recoiled in shock after seeing my reaction to one simple touch.

I released the tense breath I was apparently holding, trying to let my burning nerves settle down. She whispered uncertainly, "I was going to ask if you wanted something cold for your head. It has a really bad bump on it."

"Oh." I answered, unconsciously reaching back to feel the ache on the back of my head. I winced as soon as my fingers made contact. _Great idea, Carlisle._ "Something cold would be nice, thank you."

She looked like she wanted to say something more. After a slight hesitation, she nodded a little and went over to her freezer. Extracting something from the door, she returned with a frozen bag of mixed vegetables and handed it to me. I pressed it against the wound, glad for it's soothing cold.

"Don't you want to wrap it in something?" She asked as she hopped onto the kitchen table, curling her legs and staring at me.

"Not really." I answered truthfully. My hand could go numb for all I cared. The ache in my chest would distract me from it.

"Hey, Carlisle?" She ventured after a few seconds. My eyes flickered onto her questioningly. She seemed to shove away all the uncharacteristic timidness and she asked boldly, "How often does this sort of thing happen? How much does he hit you?"

"Why?" I asked immediately, it was a reflex to be defensive over this topic after so many years.

Her eyes flashed, but she controlled the temper that I was clearly provoking with my evasiveness. Her voice was steely, but not unkind, when she answered. "I _barely_ touched you and it almost gave you a heart attack."

"It doesn't matter." I answered dejectedly, looking down at the floor tile.

"It does to me." She muttered gently.

Our eyes met for the most fleeting of seconds. The look of sheer rage, the thick undertone of sympathy and hurt that filled her eyes, sent a totally different sort of pain to my heart. It was a pang of regret.

I didn't know why, but I wanted to tell her. Everything- even what Bella didn't know. If she wanted to know, why shouldn't I tell her? I... I trusted her in a way I didn't know I could trust someone. I could feel, somewhere deep inside of me, that any and every of my secrets would be safe under her protection.

_I_ was safe under her protection. Her natural wall of fire, so scorching and dangerous to everyone else, was like a haven for me. I could handle the burns I would get crossing it, and once I was it was going to be just us. Nothing but us would matter, and nobody would be able to get to us even if they tried.

I could be vulnerable with her, I thought. And looking into her eyes made me realize I was ready to take that risk right now.

"Um... He started drinking after the funeral. Quite heavily." I was muttering so quietly I was surprised she could still hear me. Clearly she could because her frown deepened. I rubbed my face and blurted before I changed my mind. "It's gotten a lot worse since then sometimes. _A lot_ worse."

I trailed off, unwilling to get into details. She wouldn't want to hear about how he hit me in the back so hard I fell halfway down the stairs just because I got in his way a week ago.

She wouldn't want to know that I had dark red welts on my calves from being stricken there with a cane twice this weekend- the reason for why still unknown to me.

She wouldn't want to pull my shirt one inch lower and see the purple bruises his hand left when he was holding me against the hall closet by the neck last night.

No, she wouldn't want to hear any of that. The look on her face from just my general answer was horrified and outraged enough.

"He _is_ abusing you, Carlisle." She pointed out firmly a minute or two later.

"Yes." I answered sadly, unable to deny the plain truth any longer. Maybe he didn't used to, but he definitely was now. This final admission made that heartbreak worsen and I sucked in an unsteady breath because of it.

"Why don't you stop him?" She inquired neutrally. Well, _neutral_ was the wrong word. Maybe she didn't sound accusing, but the fury was certainly unhidden in her words. I realized by looking at her that she wasn't mad at me so much as at the situation. Her eyes were practically begging me to help her understand. To let her inside of my head: my heart.

"It wouldn't be right." I fired back, my tone sharper than I had expected it to be. "It isn't his fault. He isn't well."

She seemed surprised by my sudden hostility. I couldn't bring myself to care much. Couldn't she, of all people, understand this?

He never used to be so tense and willing to hurt me. He never used to shout, or threaten, or attack me. Yes, he would administer the proper discipline when he and mom thought I had needed it. What good parent didn't, though?

So, maybe he _had_ changed. Maybe he _did_ take an unexpected and violent turn the day he learned mom was sick. Maybe he _was_ turning himself into a fearful and mindless beast when he was drunk.

And so _what_? Nobody else knew him like I did; not now that mom was gone. They would only look at the bruises and the cuts. They would only hear the word "abuse" and jump three conclusions too many ahead. Only I knew what was really going on.

He didn't mean it. _He hurt me._

He didn't know what he was doing. _He made me scared and jumpy._

He loved me. _He terrorized me._

He felt lost. _He was dragging me into that confusion._

He was empty. _He made death seem better each passing day._

He... _You don't have a clue about _what's _really going on anymore, do you?_

I felt Rosalie's eyes boring into me. They were questioning me. Challenging me. They were making me paranoid and upset. They saw too much, they knew too much. Those sharp and seeking blue eyes were peering into my brain and reading it like a book.

And yet, she said nothing. No words of comfort. No words of advice. Not even words of scorn. Nothing at all. I didn't need that. I needed something. I needed _anything_.

"You should understand better than anyone else!" I was accusing her now as my frustration levels rose. "How was your father when your stepmother died?"

"He never hit me, or Jasper." She answered so instantly it caught me off-guard.

"My dad was raised differently." I whispered, trying to convince us both now. "_I_ was raised differently from you, Rosalie. I don't see what you and Bella make such a huge problem over this for."

Bella. She offered to get me help. Should I have taken it? Why didn't I take it? Was it wrong of me to want to protect my father? Is that really what I had been doing? Maybe I was just trying to protect myself from him. Maybe I wanted to pretend that I was not terrified of him, and angry with him. Maybe I had no idea at all. Maybe there were no answers for the questions that ate away at me more each passing day.

"Are you happy at home?" She asked suddenly, throwing me for a serious loop.

_Was_ I happy? I suppose it depended on the definition of "happiness."

I wanted things to change but knew they wouldn't. I wanted to escape but knew I didn't have a chance. I wanted life to be perfect but had come to accept that nothing was perfect, and maybe my story was destined to get even worse before it could be written a happier direction.

I was okay with everything bad in my life, but I wasn't okay with any of it.

"No." I answered her finally. "No, I am not happy."

"That's why it's a problem." She stated, her voice so calm it made me believe that this was a commonly known fact that only I had, apparently, just come to learn.

"I won't do anything about it." I promised, my tone making it very clear I would rather she not _try_ to do anything about it either.

"I never asked you to." She reminded me.

"Then why do you keep asking questions?" I asked her, confused again. "What do you _want_ from me, Rosalie?"

"I just want to know why want to be loyal to him." She admitted simply.

I shook my head, ashamed with myself as I looked away from her. "Because he's my dad. Because he's all I have left."

"You have me." She argued.

That made me look up again. She offered me a smile. A real, warm, loving smile. It let me know that she was always going to be here for me. She was not going to try and change my mind; she wanted to support my decisions as long as I explained them to her. As long as it was what I wanted. She would do anything for me.

And I felt myself smiling back just a little, knowing that my eyes promised her the same thing. I would do anything for her. As long as she wanted me to, I would support her decisions. I would never ask her any questions except for why. I would always be here. I would always be real with her. I would always be warm.

I would always love her, because she would always love me. And that was something to me.

That was suddenly everything to me.

* * *

**Teaser for c23:** "I'm going to burn in the Devil's fires for eternity, Bella."

_All reviewers who say more than "update soon" or "great chapter" will get an extended teaser!_

* * *


	35. Chapter 23: Ice and Fire

* * *

Marcus and Aro had dropped by during my visit. Marcus walked me back to Jasper's house, as it was now dark outside,and the house was more than just a fingerful of blocks away.

I didn't care that I knew Marcus was a good guy, or assumedly gentle because he was with Esme, or that he was related to Alice and she really seemed to like him. I felt scared and jumpy, walking the streets alone with him.

The second we reached the sidewalk outside of the Hale residence, I thanked Marcus for the escort and hastened into the house. I found it silent, and seemingly empty.

I wandered into the nearest room in search of someone- the kitchen. I was quite surprised to find whom I found.

Carlisle was sitting on the floor of the Hale kitchen, holding a bag of frozen vegetables against the back of his head. There was dried blood on his shirt. His bottom lip, left cheekbone, and right eyebrow were red with swollen cuts.

I frowned and glanced at Rosalie, who sat at the kitchen table with a deep frown. She sighed and reported, "Problems with Jasper. He's in his room. I'll go talk to him."

She removed an ice pack out of the freezer and swiftly disappeared. I sat beside Carlisle and glared at him. He bowed his head in shame. I didn't even know what had happened, but it was clearly nothing good.

After a few seconds of somber silence, I asked the question that was, for whatever reason, bothering me the most. "So, how many times did he hit you?"

Carlisle heartlessly answered, "Just two. He missed twice. He also cracked my head against a wall."

That caught me off guard. _Two_? But he had _three_ visible wounds! Carlisle glanced at me and noticed my surprise. His eyes started to water, and he whispered, "The third one was my dad."

I wrapped my arms around his shoulders**,** and he cuddled against me. I asked gently, "What happened?"

"With who, Jasper or my dad?" He asked bitterly.

"Both." I decided. "Tell me the whole story."

He started with the Jasper half of the story. "After I left my house, I went to yours, but you weren't home. So I came here to see if you were here and found out you were at Alice's."

He winced as he readjusted the makeshift ice pack. "Rose, Caius, and Jasper were here. I loitered in the living room with Rose and Caius until he left. They…" He paused, glancing at me. His eyes were apologetic, "Well, I can't actually tell you what happened next. My life is sworn to secrecy."

"Then skip over it." I smiled at him. I could try and fill in the blanks later.

"Well," Carlisle continued, "Something I heard upset me, and I got into an argument with Rosalie over it. She called me a ninny, and before I had time to think, I called her a tramp. Jasper was willing to kill me for it!"

Yeah, that sounded like Jasper. None of the odds would have been in Carlisle's favor in that situation. Jasper already disliked him, was bigger then him, and was over-protective of Rosalie.

I gave his shoulder a supportive squeeze and urged, "And your dad?"

For a few seconds, he just sat there with wide, watery eyes. A few moments passed, and he groaned, "I'm going to burn in the Devil's fires for eternity, Bella."

He sounded so miserably serious that it caught me off guard. I was sure I sounded rather shocked when I asked, "What for?"

He wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his free arm and began the second half of his day's events. "I broke the fifth commandment." He paused his story so he could give a deep, disheartened sigh.

What was the fifth one again? Honor thy father and mother, I thought. Oh. This probably wasn't headed anywhere too great.

"I was thinking about my mom today, and I was wandering around the house in a daze." He started the story again. "My dad told me I needed to get out of the house and stop wallowing. I told him to go to hell. He slapped me, and I punched him in the mouth."

My eyes had grown as wide as Carlisle's. He looked stunned as he spoke, as if he was just realizing what had happened as he spoke about it. "I don't think he was thinking when he hit me back. It's one of those reflexive things, you know? He got _really_ freaked out when I started bleeding."

"And then what?" I asked softly.

He shrugged a little. "I was scared. He's never hit me hard enough for blood before. I started crying, and that just made things worse. He tried to say he was sorry, a million times, but I told him to leave me alone; then I just went over to your place."

And that was the point where the two stories came together. After a silent second, Carlisle tried to blame himself, "I never should have hit him back. Then none of this would have happened."

"You _should_ have hit him back." I firmly had to voice my disapproval of his opinion. He snapped his head sideways to look at me.

"_What?_"

I frowned, looking at his damaged face. Which one had been his dad? Which one came from the hand of his very own father- the only family he really had left?

"He has to stop striking you whenever he feels it's justified." I elaborated on my previous comment.

"Spare the rod." Was his immediate and unsatisfactory answer.

I didn't have to try to think of an argument I could use to try and make a religious boy believe his bible quote was wrong.

_If that was even possible._

A third party entered our conversation. "A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult."

Jasper, apparently better versed then I could hope to be, had strolled into his kitchen. He had the ice pack from earlier wrapped in a dishcloth and pressed against his eye.

"Did you just call my dad an idiot?" Carlisle asked through a rather fierce snarl.

"Yes." Jasper answered bluntly as he leaned against the fridge, watching us critically with his good eye.

"Don't call him that!" Carlisle demanded hotly.

Jasper shrugged. "Maybe if he didn't act like one, I wouldn't have to." Carlisle opened his mouth to argue, but Jasper cut him off. His eyes were dark and his voice fierce. "Bella's right. Forget your Bible idiocy, he can't just smack you around."

Carlisle huffed and struggled to his feet. He ranted as he stalked out of the room, "Idiocy! Call it _that_. Call my dad a fool. I'll see you in hell once we get there, Jasper."

"Save me a seat." Jasper shouted after him. I heard Rosalie giggle in the other room.

I sighed and rubbed my face tensely. Boys!

"Aw, Bella." Jasper yanked my attention onto him. "Don't get so worked up."

I stood and crossed the room, frowning at him as I came to his side. "Don't get so worked up? My best friend thinks he's going to hell for retaliating against his dad, you kicked his ass for accidentally calling your sister something after she did it first, your eye is probably going to bruise, and you _don't_ want me to get worked up?"

He smiled and nodded. I couldn't stop myself from laughing. He took everything in stride; it was one of the things I loved about him.

Tossing the ice pack into the fridge, he grabbed my hand. "Come on, Bella, we're going back to my room."

I followed him down the hallway, into the room that was becoming so familiar to me.

The thought of school starting again saddened me a little bit. Time with Jasper felt so easy and so right. I never wanted it to end.

Jasper handed me a cookie from a tray on his bed as he joined me, and then suddenly started speaking. "So, Bella. You come home from work one day to find Charlie dead on the kitchen floor."

Oh dear, another scenario game. I couldn't ask him to shut up, though. I loved these stupid little things far too much. I was already interested in hearing where this was going.

Realizing that, Jasper continued with the scene. "Carlisle's footprint is in the blood, but my fingerprints are on the murder weapon. You need to decide which of us you think did it. Who do you choose?"

"Motives?" I asked hopefully. Jasper just shook his head- it was a spontaneous killing.

I barely had to think about it. "I'd say Carlisle."

"Why him?" Jasper asked me.

I munched thoughtfully on my cookie, formulating how to word my reasoning. When I had decided I explained, "Son of the pastor. Honor roll student. Volunteers at the hospital during the summer. Any good lawyer could get Carlisle off with their only evidence linking him to the scene a shoe print that happens to match his. Any kid could have his sort of shoe. It's too suggestive for conviction."

"You would say Carlisle, which means I would be off." Jasper pointed out. "Does that mean you think I did it, but you are protecting me from jail?"

I smirked at him. "No. It means I know you did it, Mr. Fingerprint, and I need to keep you out of jail so I can kill you myself."

We both smiled.

"Edward is the dead one. My fingerprints, Rosalie's footprint." I shot back at him.

"I'd say it was you, because the fingerprints on the knife would be difficult to disprove." Jasper answered with a smile.

I tried to guess the reason behind his answer, as he had done for me. "You would want to protect Rosalie from the possibility of jail? Or you actually think it was me because of the evidence?"

Jasper ran his fingers though my hair, making me blush. His sweet voice was both honest and intense when he gave me his reasoning. "I would want to protect Rosalie, but I would never throw you to the dogs, Bella. Your dad is the chief of police. He'd find some way to get you off."

We trailed off into one of those comfortable silences. Something had sprung to my mind- as a result of this moment.

The fight these two had practically been pleading one another for actually happened. It made me think about the first time it had almost happened. The day I had my own fight with Rosalie.

And, in succession, that led me to think about just yesterday when he was about to hit Peter.

For both occurrences, the very instant somebody demanded he stop his display of violence- he did. Neither time had been a personal decision. Like a hardwired robot, he just instantly and totally clicked from hostile to submissive.

Why was that? What motivated him to make himself switch gears so terribly fast? I decided to inquire.

"Jasper." I called his attention. He stopped looking out the window and patiently waited for me to continue. "Why do you avoid fighting when other people don't want you to?"

He smiled softly. "It's not other people. It's just certain people."

"Who?" I asked curiously. We could always get back to why later.

"Gregory, and Jane exclusively. Edward would back me up in a fight rather than try to stop me, and Rosalie rarely interrupts my personal business." Jasper answered calmly. I was surprised he was so relaxed.

He realized he was starting to lead into a ramble and quickly pulled us back onto course. "Having been with Jane for a little over a year, and having relied on her as a rock of sorts for me that entire time, her voice telling me what to do just sort of makes me do it."

He hesitated, looking at me warily. I suspected he thought I was judging him by what he told me. Boys didn't like to hear about past relationships anymore than girls did. I just smiled at him and waited for him to continue with his speaking.

"Gregory." He started, but then stopped suddenly. I could see him starting to let that same brick wall from the car ride yesterday build around him. I decided I would not let him close himself off to me. He had made it clear before that he needed someone to talk to- talk about anything and everything.

I would let him know I was ready and willing to be that someone.

I crawled into his lap and wrapped my arms around his neck. He rested his cheek on my collarbone. I reminded him, "You can tell me, Jasper, if you want to."

He sighed deeply. A few moments of silence ticked by between us. It wasn't a tense silence, nor was it awkward. I wouldn't say it was totally relaxed, though, as this was clearly a very sensitive subject for Jasper.

"Bella, my mom was…" He trailed off in thought. After his mental struggle**,** he decided on, "Kind of like a nicer version of Rosalie. She was stubborn, and wily, and headstrong like Rose is. She was just as fearless and loving, too."

_Loving_ was a word I had a hard time accepting in connection to Rosalie. What did I know, though?

Jasper snapped his head up to look directly at me. "She cared about him more than me. I eventually figured out why. Gregory was everything she ever wanted in a guy- husband, brother, son- the relation didn't matter. He's a strong person just like she was."

He frowned. "I couldn't be that for her, Bella. That's why she looked somewhere else after a while. I could see it in her eyes every time she glanced my way. I was a disappointment to her. What woman like her could be proud of me- a sensitive and introverted son?"

He shook his head and pinched his eyes closed, bringing his arms around me to create a tight embrace. No tears fell, but the look of agony on his face was worse then tears.

"She let herself become entirely his, Bella." Jasper continued to pour his heart out to me. "She wanted him to be the dad I never really had. She wanted us to get along. I never let her have that. It's just another thing I messed up. Sometimes I feel like making him happy would make her happy, too."

He laughed once, a very bitter laugh. "I don't know why I am wasting your time with all of this. I can't see why you should care."

"Jasper, I _want_ to care." I promised him earnestly. "I want you to let me care about you and what you're feeling."

His eyes locked with mine. I felt like those blazing blue flames were scorching me. He asked me intensely, "Why?"

I didn't even have to think when I blurted _my_ heart out to _him_. "Because... it feels right. This. _Us._ When we're together I feel so... different. Even when we're just playing chess, not even talking, it's like our bodies are having a conversation. I feel so attuned to you… I d-don't know why."

He picked up on my sudden nervous insecurity. I didn't like new experiences, and the way I felt when we were together was certainly very new to me.

Some huge part of me cared deeply for this boy. I wanted his pain to be my pain so he didn't have to suffer it alone. I wanted to know his every thought so we could be mentally connected. I just wanted to be with him all the time, no matter what.

Jasper smiled shyly at me and admitted, "When you're not here, all I think about is you. I can smell your shampoo on my pillow when I fall asleep. I can almost feel your arms around me when I am sitting in the living room alone."

I'm not sure who made the first move, but a half of a second later, we were kissing each other. Unlike last time, he wasn't moving too fast for me. The slow, tender way his lips moved against mine didn't seem good enough today. He was being too hesitant and careful _because_ of what happened last time.

_This_ time I was the adventurous one. My body leaned forward over his, and he had to press his back against the wall. My hands tangled in his hair as his hands gripped my hips. My sudden burst of confidence seeped into him, and he naturally took charge of the situation.

He broke away from me, and we started panting for breath. I felt myself being guided onto my back as he gently pinned me down against his bed, his hands resting on my shoulders as he urgently started to suck on the hollow of my throat.

_It was driving me crazy- by the way._

I was the shirt bandit this time as I slipped my hands under the cloth and experimentally began to trace his gently toned stomach with my soft hands. He wasn't body builder ripped like Emmett probably was, but he had a taut strength to him that made me shiver.

My voice of reason gasped, but I knocked her out as I attempted to tug Jasper's shirt above his shoulders. I was acting totally on instinct right now, and the heat pulsing through my body was telling me to carry on until _he_ told me to stop.

As he assisted me in yanking the article of clothing off, and tossed it onto the floor- it was pretty obvious he was not going to make any move to stop us.

* * *

**Teaser for c24:** "Tomorrow we can be igneous together."

_All reviewers who say more than "update soon" or "great chapter" will get an extended teaser!_

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	36. Chapter 24: Nexus

* * *

Our lips connected again, and this time I wasn't swept up by the heat of the moment. The heat was certainly between us, as his hands carefully began to unbutton my shirt, but not in the same way. The delicate and meticulous way his lips danced against my own made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

His hands, so impossibly soft for a boy, brushed along my shoulders and pushed the shirt down my arms. I shook my hands and let it pool onto the bed before I brushed it onto the floor. Out of instinct, my face stained a dark, dark shade of red.

Jasper groaned. "Damn it, do you have to do that?"

I blinked at him in surprise. "W-what?" Was I doing something wrong? If so it was his fault, because he totally leading us right now.

"Blush." He answered me simply as his arms tightened around my back. "It's so fucking sexy it's a crime."

Before I could say anything, he reengaged us into action. His mouth shoved roughly against mine, and I nearly gasped at the sudden attack. His hands unhooked my bra as he did so, and I bit his bottom lip and sucked on it as he totally removed another piece of my clothing.

Jasper moaned huskily and gently pulled away from me, scrambling to get out of his pants. I took the hint and struggled out of mine as well. I took a deep breath of mental preparation and then pushed my underwear off, adding it to the mingled pile on the floor. I watched his fall on top of them.

"Bella," he whispered intensely. "Look at me, Bella. Don't be shy about it- not now."

I had seen pictures of a naked male before. Not those cartoon ones in books either. Lets just say, old computer had bad pop-up blockers. I braved what I had figured would be a quick glance at him.

Once I took in his full, uncovered body, I found it hard to look away. Just like his eyes were practically devouring me, I was hungrily gazing at him. After a while, Jasper's smoldering blue eyes locked into mine. He whispered sincerely, "You're beautiful, Bella. So much better then anyone else."

"Anyone else?" I echoed- distracted by his hands as they pushed me onto my back and began to roam my stomach and chest.

"Yeah." He answered simply, starting to kiss a line of burning butterfly kisses on my neck.

"There were others?" I asked him. I didn't sound angry, or surprised- just jealous. Very jealous. The painful sort of jealous.

Jasper mumbled half-hearted, "Jane and Alice."

Was I surprised? Not at all.

Did I want to get more information about that? Hell yes.

But later. Right _now_, there was only one thing that I wanted. Only one thing that my teenage body would allow me to want. I wanted him- the boy who owned the pieces of my heart- to give me the sweet friction my body was singing for.

"Jasper, come on already." I whimpered impatiently.

He stopped sucking on my neck and nestled himself in between my legs. He warned me, "Don't scream, Carlisle will come in here." Jasper looked sad and regretful with the thought that he was about to hurt me.

I kissed his shoulder and muttered, "Just do it."

I _had_ prepared myself for the pain. Really, I did try. But as he made the first thrust inside of me and ripped the barrier of skin that had been there, I honestly wasn't ready at all

I couldn't help but gasp. Said gasp was dangerously close to becoming the very scream we needed to avoid. To stop myself, I did the first thing I could do. I bit Jasper's shoulder, which was right by my mouth. It certainty distracted me, but only because I tasted blood.

Startled, I let go of him. Wide-eyed with shock, I opened my mouth to apologize. He just kissed me, forcing me to remain silent. He whispered reassuringly, "It's fine. It's not the first time I've been bitten."

Hearing that made my cheeks flush. He checked, "Are you okay now?"

Defining 'okay' would have been wonderful. My body felt stretched and uncomfortable, but my heart was quite happy. I felt very peaceful, though. I was perfectly okay with this, and us being together on such a trusting and intimate level was enough to make anything okay.

So with that in mine, I answered, "I'm okay now."

I brought our lips together and tangled my fingers in his soft, curly hair as he began to build his rhythm.

--------------------

A while later, I would guess by the bright streetlights shining outside that it was eight or nine, the two of us were under his covers together.

You know how people online, and on TV, and in books make you think that you're going to feel complete, and wonderful, and blissful after you have sex for the very first time with the boy you love?

Yeah, they lied.

I hurt in so many places it was ridiculous. Some muscles I didn't even know I _had_ felt like they had been yanked and twisted in all the wrong positions. It was foreign, and painful, and weird- and I hated it.

I felt a little dirty, too. I didn't regret this decision. I wouldn't have let myself make it if I was going to eventually wish I hadn't done it. But I _did_ have two parents who harped at me my entire life about avoiding getting too serious too soon. Just thinking about what they would think if they found out about this felt like wet sand being smeared across my body.

It took me a while to realize the last thing that I was not mentally head-desking about. Jasper had not been wearing a condom. We had used zero protection.

_Oh. My. Sweet. Jesus._

My eyes started to sting with tears, and I sighed shakily, chocking back a sob.

Jasper had been quiet for a long time now. I wasn't sure as to why, but then again it _was_ Jasper. However, the sound of my sudden distress alerted to the fact that he wasn't in a dream world. I had known he wasn't asleep, because his hand never stopped massaging my body in some place this last hour or so.

The instant my almost-tears noise escaped me, Jasper snapped into the world of the mentally alert. He propped himself up on his elbow and peeked at me from over my shoulder. His voice was taut with fear when he asked, "Are you crying?"

I tried so very hard to hold it in when I whispered, "No." My voice held a tremor for those two simple letters. Fuck it, I didn't _want_ to hold it in. A half of a second later, I started to blubber and amended, "Y-yes."

He paled considerably and whispered, "Why? Why are you crying, Bella? You said you wanted this."

"Just because." I whimpered. "Because of e-everything."

Jasper rolled me onto my back and wrapped his strong arm around my waist, holding me close to him. He tried to soothe me, his voice gentle and reassuring. "Hey, calm down, okay? Don't talk yet- just calm down."

I wrapped my arms around him and buried my face into his neck. He set his chin on my head and held me for a while until I had pulled my emotional roller coaster to a halt.

When I had settled down a little bit, he kissed my wet cheeks until they were dry. I smiled just so very slightly at him. His eyes shined with the anxiety he was known for, and _his_ voice shook this time. "Are you okay?"

I swallowed hard and decided, "Yes."

"What was all that about?" He asked tensely.

Our eyes met, and I shivered. "I think too much, that's all."

I wasn't going to push all _my_ worries onto him. They were insignificant. Aspirin would help the pain. Charlie and Renee were never going to find out and cast judgmental looks my way. And… well, it was only once! Surely we were fine?

I had thoroughly deluded myself into a mock peace. I smiled broadly and insisted, trying to cheer us both, "I just think too much."

"Well don't fucking do that to me." He snapped, suddenly sounded extremely harsh. I felt my mouth fall open in shock. He realized what he had done and sighed, bringing his anger down a little so he could explain properly. "When Alice and I… God, it was horrible. She cried for like three hours."

He closed his eyes and shook his head, looking half sick. I flinched as I sat up, but I did sit up. I asked gently, "So what had happened?"

He cringed. "We were together for a while, Bella. Quite a while, considering how I get with people. It was at a party of hers. Marcus convinced me to try one beer. I'm such a fucking loser- I couldn't stop once I got started."

His eyes widened a little bit. "It's a little hazy after that. Alice somehow had my shirt and belt off in the living room. Tanya got all pissy and told us to take it upstairs. Then next thing I remember clearly was her waking me up all freaked out. There was some blood on her sheets, and she couldn't find half of our clothes."

His head shook a little bit. "Just try not to cry if… if we do this again. You're going to give me a heart attack."

I hugged him and apologized, "I'm sorry. I had no idea."

He laughed a little. "Don't be sorry. There's no way you could have known." After a few seconds of just holding one another, he announced, "I'm hungry."

"Me, too." I agreed. We had not eaten since this morning!

That was all he had to hear. Jasper rolled off the bed and pulled his dresser open. I looked at him with a new set of eyes- after what we had just done. I didn't see Jasper Hale anymore. I saw simply _my_ Jasper.

I also saw a small flash of red, knowing that he had been someone else's before me. Never Alice's, from what I just heard- but Jane's. How long had he said his relationship with Jane lasted? From the first year of high school?

How many times had he been with _her_? I'd have to ask him later. He would tell me truthfully, that was one of the great things about him. He was always honest with me.

It was sure going to make me a little hot and bothered at school when I saw him after today. I'd probably never be able to look at him without thinking of his strong, pale chest. And his rippling back muscles. And that tight butt…

"Enjoying the view, Bella?" He asked casually, not even having to look at me to know I was staring at him. I rolled my eyes, blushing furiously, and chucked a pillow at him. He laughed and grabbed a pile of clothes, returning to the bed. He handed me a shirt and grinned.

I took the blue button-up and glanced quizzically at him. "And I have this why?"

He smiled at me. "Because you're wearing it." His eyes darkened, and he whispered, "I want you to have me on you all night."

My cheeks flamed so badly it _hurt_. How had I gone all this time not knowing he was such a deeply sensual person? Hot damn, I sure was one blind bitch.

I rather liked the idea of having him on me all night. Grinning to myself, I slipped my arms into the shirt's quarter sleeves, and began to button them. The shirt was already too big on me, but I left the top two undone just to taunt him. His eyes were both disapproving and full of desire as I wobbled towards the door of his room.

He hastily stepped into some pajama pants and darted after me. "Wait!"

I halted and leaned against the wall. He smiled and ran his fingers through my hair. "I don't own a brush, sorry." That didn't surprise me at all. When he was satisfied I looked slightly more presentable, he opened the door for me.

We started down the hallway, and both Carlisle and Rosalie turned their heads at our approaching footsteps. I had forgotten Carlisle was here. Seeing the look of horror on his face when he saw me- wearing nothing but Jasper's shirt- could have sent me crawling under a rock.

"Bella! You too?" He wailed unhappily. Rosalie punched him seriously hard in the arm for that comment.

He looked at her in shock for a second before declaring in an affronted tone, "That hurt."

Rose glared at him for a second before looking at the both of us. I was surprised that she looked a little sad. "I put leftovers in the fridge for you guys."

I was quite more interested in Carlisle's comment. Me _too_? I glanced at Jasper for some clarification. He was sharing a hopeful look with Rosalie. She sighed, shrugging once, before turning her attention back to the movie she was watching. Carlisle frowned bitterly before he did the same.

Jasper took my hand and led me into the kitchen. The second the door was closed, I asked, "What's all that about?"

He pulled two large plates of lasagna out of the fridge and crossed over to the microwave. He inserted one of them before answering, "Rosalie slept with Caius yesterday. That's what my and Carlisle's fight earlier was about."

"Oh." I answered quietly. I wasn't in any position to make accusations or assumptions about her after what I just did myself.

He shrugged tensely, then started rummaging the pantry for something. I set two glasses on the table and, smiling to myself, poured some Coke into each. He shot me a side glance and smirked but didn't address the fact that I had willingly chosen his drink of choice.

He really _was_ Superman.

I watched with a smile as he poured a packet of yellow powder into a large bowl, added hot water, and started to stir. He announced, "Tomorrow we can be igneous together."

We both chuckled as he set the bowl of to-be lemon Jell-O in the fridge. I replaced the lasagna in the microwave with the cold one and asked sheepishly, "How is your shoulder?"

"In pain." He answered simply. "It's still sort of bleeding."

I glanced at him in horror. "Oh my God, really?"

"Yep. I bet it's going to scar." He cheerfully asserted as he pulled a First Aid kit out of the cupboard under the sink. I was almost too embarrassed to think straight, but I suddenly had to know something.

"And you're okay with that for what reason, exactly?"

He slapped a large bandage on before grabbing my hand and twirling me against his chest. His eyes burned with an intensity I've rarely seen. "Because, you've marked me, m'lady. Now I will belong to you forever."

I hugged him close to me and asked happily, "No matter what?"

He gently lifted my head, brushing his lips against mine softly. His warm breath made my face tingle, and he promised sincerely, "No matter what."

* * *

_BLUE SHIRT!_

* * *


	37. Twenty Four in Jasper's POV

* * *

**_The Project_**

**_Chapter Twenty Four_**

**_Jasper's POV  
_**

* * *

I was shocked that Bella wanted to do this. My mind kept telling me that it was just the emotion of our previous conversation mixed with her female hormones that was driving her to be so confident all of the sudden. I was hoping- though only a tiny bit- that she would stop us again before we made a mistake.

I knew something about mistakes.

_I_ was a teenager, too, you know. When she was just sitting there so expectantly, gratefully matching the tender, loving way I was kissing her, I just couldn't help it anymore. I was confident that she really wanted us to do this, so I stopped worrying. I trusted her judgment more than my own.

I had to feel for each button of hers as I steadily undid each one. When I had reached the bottom, I slid my fingers along her shoulders and arms. She was so warm, and so terribly soft. It was driving me crazy!

We had to break away for air, and she shook her shirt onto the ground. I admired her full upper body for a second before a sudden flush of red distracted me. A brilliant crimson color colored her face and made my body throb with desire.

I groaned. "Damn it, do you have to do that?"

She looked surprised. "W-what?"

_Idiot, don't confuse her._

"Blush." I answered her casually. My arms snaked around her lower back and rested on the soft, bare flesh. "It's so fucking sexy it's a crime."

I wanted to taste some part of her, so I attacked her mouth with my own. My hands made quick work of her bra, and she started sucking on my bottom lip. I could have died happily at that very moment. I couldn't help but imagine those lips sucking another part of my body.

With a groan packed full of lust, I forced myself to pull away from her. Staying in these pants- wind pants, not even jeans today- was starting to hurt. My hands shook as I yanked on the drawstring and managed to get them off _without_ falling onto the floor in haste. I was pleasantly surprised to see Bella's sweats mingle with mine a half of a second later.

_That's not all of hers that would be mingling with something of mine tonight._

I smiled to myself and threw my underwear on top of hers. It almost made me laugh to see that they were black, and lacy around the edges. Who would have guessed it?

We were totally free of the confines of our clothes. I turned my head eagerly and soaked in Bella's raw, true appearance.

She was so hot my stomach clenched. Her body had soft curves I had never seen up close before. Jane was rather toned, and Alice was too damn small. Bella was just the perfect amount of woman.

"Bella," I whispered darkly, trying to get her attention. "Look at me, Bella. Don't be shy about it- not now." We've already come too far for her timid side to stop us. She just totally skipped second and third base. She had wanted to hit a home run, and I had no problem with it. She was a rookie, but that was okay. I've played this game enough times before to teach her how.

The instant her eyes locked onto me, I allowed myself a little longer to appreciate her body. So fucking perfect. I whispered whole-heartedly, "You're beautiful, Bella. So much better than anyone else."

"Anyone else?" She asked with half attention- as my pushing her onto her back and sliding my hands over her breasts was quite a distracting action.

I would never lie to Bella. She deserved to know there had been others. Some part of me wanted her to know before we did this- just so she knew and could decide if it was what she wanted. I started kissing a string of teasingly gentle kisses along her neck and muttered, "Yeah."

"There were others?" She asked with a slightly possessive edge to her voice.

_She wants you the same way you want her. She wants you all to herself._

I really wished our friends' names weren't on my short list when I mumbled, "Jane and Alice."

After a second of private thought, Bella became needy. She whimpered, "Jasper, come on already."

I let go of her neck and scooted in between her legs. I warned her seriously, "Don't scream, Carlisle will come in here."

That would not go over well. I'd have to stab his eyes out or kill him. Nobody but _me_ was going to see Bella in such a beautiful way and get away with it.

Besides, I didn't like the screaming. When I had lost my innocence with Jane- she screamed so damn loud you'd think I had stabbed her fucking neck. Never once in my entire life had I been so scared. If Alec had been home, he probably would have shot my ass.

Bella's soft lips pressed against my shoulder, and she muttered, "Just do it."

I got myself into position and jerked inside of her. I wasn't sure if doing it fast like that was best, but I didn't really know how else to do it!

Bella gasped sharply, and I braced myself for the scream. However, it didn't come. Instead a sharp and unexpected pain landed through _me_ as her mouth clamped down onto my shoulder. I felt the skin rip deeply and my warm blood trickle out.

The pain made me even more eager to get started. It turned me on- being bitten. I learned that one with Jane. That bitch got mean when she was sexually frustrated. She never broke the damn skin, though.

Bella looked at me with wide, horrified eyes. I hastily kissed her to make her be quiet. When I let go, I whispered reassuringly, "It's fine. It's not the first time I've been bitten."

The severe blush she had earlier had faded to an almost undetectable pink. Hearing me say that made her go back to red.

I tried to ignore her sexy ass redness. "Are you okay now?"

_Say yes, I can't wait forever!_

_Damn it, calm yourself down Jasper. Don't rush her. It's _her_ first time you know._

After a second, she confirmed, "I'm okay now."

I smiled at her and carefully, somewhat slowly, began to make love to her. She didn't seem to mind the first-timers pain as her hands roughly grabbed my hair, and she engaged our lips in a dance of their own.

--------------------

For the next hour or so once we were finished, I lay with Bella against my chest in my bed. I was not ever going to be able to sleep in this bed again without imagining that I could feel her warm body with me.

Anyway, I figured she was hurting, so I gently rubbed her lower half for a while after. Occasionally I lost my focus and let my hand trail elsewhere. Up her stomach to her chest. Along the soft muscles of her back. Over that firm ass of hers and down her thigh to the back of her knee. I did try to behave myself, it just wasn't working too well.

The idle hand was rubbing little circles on her hip when she startled me into processing a real thought. It sounded like she had forced air into her lungs. It was that noise Rosalie made when she had got herself so worked up she started crying too hard to breathe properly.

I propped myself up on my left elbow and glanced at her over her shoulder. I asked fearfully, hoping to God she said no. "Are you crying?"

Bad memories flashed across my mind.

"_Alice, what the hell, why are you crying?"_

"_Jasper, w-what d-did we do!?"_

"No." she whispered unconvincingly. Not an entire second passed before her body shook and the tears started to flow. She changed her mind, "Y-yes."

I felt my whole body run cold. Was she hurt? Was she upset because we had sex in the first place? "Why? Why are you crying, Bella? You said you wanted this."

She sounded frustrated and lost when she answered. "Just because. Because of e-everything."

I gently rolled her so I could see her, and I pulled her into a protective grip.

"_J-jasper, we shouldn't have d-done this!"_

"_Why not, Alice? We're together now, so what's the problem?"_

I did a damn good job at masking my terror when I attempted to comfort her. "Hey, calm down, okay? Don't talk yet- just calm down."

After a while, her hysterical outburst had settled into light sadness. I kissed the salty wetness away from her cheeks. She smiled at me just so very slightly.

I felt my entire body coil with anxiety, fearing the worse. "Are you okay?"

I tried my hardest to force a bitter, heart breaking conversation, out of my mind. You know, I had kind of sort of loved Alice Brandon. I had tried to be what she asked me to be. I wanted to be her crutch. I wanted to teach her how to walk on her own as I helped her with the healing process. She told me no. She said that if we were going to be together, then it _had_ to be strictly non-romantic.

She said that she loved Peter, and I should love Jane. That we were just a fling to gain life experience.

I had always known that she had just been too scared to break away from Peter again. That she wasn't able to let herself trust me the way she trusted him. That she, at the time, wasn't ready to let someone else keep her standing up because she was so used to Peter holding onto her so very tightly.

She told me we were over that day. In her exact words: 'I don't want this anymore, Jasper. You're just not Peter- I don't want _you_.'

I learned what heart break was the day my mom died, but that day was the first time I actually felt my heart being torn out and spit on. Do you know how many times I cried over Alice? How many times Rosalie almost got her ass super-kicked by a black belt because she refused to stop harping at Alice over what she did to me?

It took us weeks before we even started looking at one another. It wasn't until just before school started that we had struggled our way back to being friendly. Then the whole group broke in half, and it became very clear that I couldn't be _anything_ to Alice. Not even a friend.

So I had let myself become everything to Bella. Why not? I had nobody who I would want to be shared with. I wanted only her. If she wasn't okay, if she was going to pull an Alice on me, I would die. I would honestly and truly just fucking _die_.

"Yes." Bella answered my question. I felt the relief of a thousand wash through me. She was fine. She was calming down. She wasn't going to leave me.

"What was all that about?" I asked her, tense because I wasn't sure I really did want to know.

Her eyes locked onto mine, and she shivered once. "I think too much, that's all." After a second of deliberation, she offered me a real smile, sounding optimistic. "I just think too much."

I couldn't hold back my temper when I snapped at her. "Well don't fucking do that to me."

Her mouth fell open at my fierceness. I mentally scolded myself for being so short with the woman I loved. I sighed and decided I should explain my fear to her.

"When Alice and I… God, it was horrible. She cried for like three hours." I felt sick as I pinched my eyes closed. I had to shake my head to ward off the memory. The bed creaked when Bella moved on it.

"So what had happened?" She asked me gently.

I cringed, not wanting to think about it, but knowing she deserved an answer. "We were together for a while, Bella. Quite a while, considering how I get with people. It was at a party of hers. Marcus convinced me to try one beer. I'm such a fucking loser- I couldn't stop once I got started."

Do you know how times you need to throw up to empty your stomach? Three. I found out the afternoon following that night.

I felt my eyes widen with the memories. "It's a little hazy after that. Alice somehow had my shirt and belt off in the living room. Tanya got all pissy and told us to take it upstairs. The next thing I remember clearly was her waking me up all freaked out. There was some blood on her sheets, and she couldn't find half of our clothes."

She had finally calmed down around ten in the morning, we woke up at six thirty. Never again would I be okay with girls and tears.

I shook my head mournfully. "Just try not to cry if… if we do this again. You're going to give me a heart attack."

Her arms wrapped around me. "I'm sorry. I had no idea."

_Always sorry for what's not her fault. Sigh...  
_

I laughed a little bit. "Don't be sorry, there's no way you could have known." I noticed that there was a clawing pain in my stomach. How many hours had passed since breakfast? I pointed out, "I'm hungry."

"Me, too." she informed me.

I rolled away from her and strolled over to the dresser. I pulled open my tip (top) drawer and rummaged for a few scraps of suitable clothes. Where the hell was my big blue shirt? That would be great on her. I loved that damn shirt.

I swear I could feel her eyes burning a hole into my back. She was right earlier, we didn't even need to talk to have a conversation. My instincts were telling me all I needed to know about what she was doing. I was inside of her head or something.

Confident in my sixth sense, I asked her casually, "Enjoying the view, Bella?" A moment later a pillow hit me in the back of the head and bounced onto the floor. _That's a yes_.

I laughed at her action and found the shirt, pulling it and some pajama pants out. I sat with her on the bed and grinned as I gave her my shirt.

She looked at me questioningly. "And I have this why?"

I smiled at her. "Because you're wearing it." I'd seduce her and slip it onto her while she was weak minded if I had to. I wanted to see her in it. Leaning forward a little, I whispered huskily, "I want you to have me on you all night."

Just as I had hoped, her cheeks practically blazed with that perfect shade of red. Could we patent it and sell makeup in that color? The shade 'Bella'? Girls around the world would buy it and use it to tempt their men.

She slipped into the shirt, leaving it down low enough for me to stare at the tops of her breasts. I couldn't decide if I was upset by that- because she was messing with me on purpose, or if I just loved her more because she knew how to play the game.

She got up and unsteadily walked towards the door. "Wait!" I called after her, running to her side. Her hair was crazy. They were already going to guess what we did, might as well let her hold firmly onto her dignity by making her look presentable!

I messed with her hair for a few seconds, smiling. "I don't own a brush, sorry." When she looked all spiffy again, I opened the door to my room. We walked beside one another as we entered the living room.

Carlisle looked just plainly and simply horrified to see Bella in nothing but my shirt. He sounded like _he_ was the pastor, and he wailed, "Bella! You too?"

I smirked when my sister hit him in the arm. She had one mean ass punch when she really wanted to hurt you. Carlisle looked like a little kid who was just slapped by his best friend. "That hurt." Rosalie just glared at him, her eyes full of unhappiness.

After a moment, she returned her attention to us. "I put leftovers in the fridge for you guys."

She looked a little sad. I could imagine why. Yesterday, when I learned through her and Carlisle's fight that she had romped with Caius, I also came to learn that she wished she had not. She admitted that she only did it because he pressured her into it.

Caius was going to die for that when I saw him next. Somebody better hold me the hell back, or I was going to jail.

Bella glanced at me curiously. She had picked up on Carlisle's slip- to no surprise. I glanced hopefully at Rosalie. I hated secrets, all they did was hurt a person. I wanted Bella to know everything. Rose seemed to understand that. With a defeated sigh, she offered me a sluggish shrug before looking at the TV screen. Carlisle frowned and did the same.

I took Bella's hand in my own and led her into the kitchen. After entering the privacy of the kitchen, she asked, "What's all that about?"

I tried to think of what and how to say it to her. I pulled the lasagna plates from the fridge and started to heat one up before I decided on bluntness. "Rosalie slept with Caius yesterday. That's what my and Carlisle's fight earlier was about."

"Oh." she responded softly.

I shrugged, tense again. I was not happy with the idea of Caius right now. I opened the pantry and started looking for my box of almost-instant Jell-O. Bella set two glasses on the table and poured Coke into them. I smirked, but said nothing as I extracted the aforementioned box.

_I win!_

I got a large pitcher of hot faucet water and started mixing my quarry. It had to cool overnight. "Tomorrow we can be igneous together." We both started chuckling as I set the bowl on the top shelf of the fridge.

I heard her messing with the microwave as she asked me, "How is your shoulder.?"

_Throbbing internally. Stinging because of the air. Going to bruise like my eye._

"In pain. It's still sort of bleeding." I answered her quite simply.

Her eyes met mine, and she looked horrified. "Oh my God, really?"

"Yep." I smiled as I crouched down by the sink and peered inside, looking for the First Aid kit. "I bet it's going to scar." I extracted the clear container and pried it open. I was totally hot on the idea of it scarring and being there for me to see anytime I wanted.

"And you're okay with that for what reason, exactly?" She asked with equal amounts of surprise and wonder.

I ripped open one of the plus sized bandages and carefully slapped it over the wound. With a smile I grabbed Bella's hand and playfully twirled her into me. I answered from the very deepest parts of my heart. "Because, you've marked me, m'lady. Now I will belong to you forever." I had tried to lighten up a potentially awkward comment with a bit of playfulness.

She hugged me tight and beamed. "No matter what?"

I tilted her head upward and gently brushed my lips against hers in a delicate little display of affection. I promised her, "No matter what."

* * *

**Teaser for c25:** Isabella Swan, daughter of the police chief, was now officially in possession of alcohol underage.

_All reviewers who say more than "update soon" or "great chapter" will get an extended teaser!_

_((Sorry for the late update. I haven't been feeling very well.))  
_

* * *


	38. Chapter 25: The New Year Party

* * *

The next eight days passed with nothing really important having happened. Two days after he bunkered himself here, Carlisle's dad found him and made him come back home. I gave him a spare key to my house we had made for him- in case he needed to go somewhere again.

Caius came over to the house two days ago to tell Rosalie that their relationship was over, because he didn't want to be with her anymore. It took her and me both to stop Jasper from springing on the bigger boy and getting hurt. I can't recall having seen Rosalie once for the past fifty hours.

That event led to Jasper plotting a "cheer-up Rosalie New Year's eve party". Everyone invited- that being Maria, Edward, Tanya, and Carlisle- had agreed to come. Jasper had brought me to this shifty little store just outside of town. Tanya and Edward met us there.

Jasper seemed more enthusiastic then usual when he bounced over to Tanya. "So, what are we picking up?"

She handed him a list with small, uneven handwriting scribbled down on it. "I took the order by phone while we waited. If it's out of a bag, or microwaveable, it's on this list. We're going to need like three carts."

The two of them entered the store. I was about to follow, but Edward distracted me as he slipped out of his little silver Volvo. He looked shockingly improved from when I last saw him at Alice's house. His deep emerald eyes were bright with life today, and he was rather perky.

"Hey, Bella!" Edward greeted me as he strutted across the parking lot. I was surprised when he tossed his arms around me and smiled. "We are all going to have _such_ a good time tonight."

I glanced at him from over my shoulder as we entered the store. "Do you have something planned?" I smiled playfully and reminded, "This _is_ all a mission to make Rosalie happy again, remember that."

Edward's eyes glittered darkly and set off the warning signals in my brain. Had I ever seen him look so… devious before right now? No, I don't think so.

A hard chuckle rumbled out of him, and he flashed me a crooked smile. "Oh, don't worry about Rose. I'll have her so giddy you won't even recognize her. _Before_ midnight."

Edward grabbed a little green cart and disappeared into the back of the store. I shook my head and sighed a little. It was really great to see he was feeling better after his dad left, but since when was he all mysterious and confident? Huh, maybe Tanya had been able to help him!

I sought out Jasper, finding him in the frozen foods section in the back. His entire cart was full of boxes already. He saw me and asked, "Do you see anything we're missing?"

He had enough stuff to feed half of our grade! I shook my head. He glanced at his watch and frowned. "We're already running behind schedule. Let's get going, Tanya and Edward are taking care of drinks and munchies."

"You have a schedule for a New Year's party?" I asked, though I was not very surprised.

Jasper wandered over to the checkout counter and shrugged. "Organization makes everything easier. Now hurry up, and help me." He smiled at me as he plopped an armful of his mini foods onto the counter.

-------------------

It was almost eight by the time we got back to the house. Maria and Carlisle both helped us unload everything and stick it in the extra freezer in the laundry room. With that done, we migrated to the living room. Maria went upstairs to try and get Rosalie down to join us.

Carlisle sat beside me and sighed. "So, you two ready for school to start again?"

"Yes." Jasper answered immediately. I didn't have to ask why to know. General Hale came home the day after school started again. That was a fourth of a day that Jasper didn't have to worry about getting into a fight with him.

I shrugged rather indifferently. School had never bothered me too much.

We fell silent when Maria and Rosalie rounded the corner by the stairs. It _was_ the first time I had seen her in two days, and she looked terrible. Worse even then when she and Emmett broke away from one another. Her eyes were puffy and red, and she looked like she hadn't slept in a week.

Jasper frowned and patted the open spot on his other side. With a deep sigh, she sank down beside him, setting her head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her and tried to comfort her. "In five hours, it'll be a new year, Rosie. We can try to make it your best one yet!"

I decided to try and be helpful. I was surprised that I felt genuinely hopeful as I promised, "Yeah, Rose, you don't need any of those idiot guys. You've got all of us."

Rosalie turned her head to look directly at me, her eyes gentle for the first time I could ever remember. She actually smiled a little bit and seemed to spark with energy.

She glanced over my shoulder. "Well how about it, Carlisle? Should our resolution be to try and make 2005 the best year of our lives?"

Carlisle was still having quite a hard time with his life. It hadn't been too long since his mother passed, and then the support group we had tried to build for him fell apart. Now his dad was getting a little worse than before, and he wasn't used to that at all.

His pretty hazel eyes shined sadly, and he agreed with an overly optimistic smile. "2005, the best year of our lives! Forks better watch out for the Cullen-Hale tag team. They won't know what hit them."

We all laughed softly, and then the door opened. Her arms loaded with bags, Tanya pranced inside and made way for the kitchen. She announced over her shoulder, "Jasper, Bella, Edward wants you outside."

I led Jasper outside and over to the Volvo. Edward glanced anxiously over his shoulder before popping the trunk open. I felt my eyes widen as I glanced inside at the contents. There were three cases of beer, two very big bottles of what I think was vodka, and a little brown bag that was stapled shut.

Jasper frowned, his brow furrowing. He was usually up for the things Edward wanted to do, but he suddenly looked very, very serious. "Hey, man, I don't think this is a good idea. Last time-"

Edward cut him off with a dismissive wave of the hand. "Last time Marcus let you have too much. I'll make sure you're locked away when you start to slur your words and trip on imaginary cats."

For the first time ever, to my supreme surprise, I saw Jasper blush. He laughed nervously at the, apparently embarrassing, memory.

"And what's in the bag?" He asked, raising his eyebrows at his friend. Edward grinned, glancing at me knowingly. I figured that meant I was about to find out what he was talking about earlier.

Edward stuffed the bag in his pocket and handed me the two large bottles. I should have shoved them back at him, but I stupidly took them.

Isabella Swan, daughter of the police chief, was now officially in possession of alcohol underage. That was just wonderful.

He smiled, answering the question. "Ecstasy pills. Alice gave them to me. If Rose still feels depressed later, we can slip one in her drink. It'll cheer her right up!"

I nearly dropped the bottles I held. _What!?_

Jasper's face masked my shock, but his eyes were suddenly dark and furious as his protective vibes began to stir. "Edward, throw those away. You're _not_ passing them around."

Edward glared at Jasper. "And who is going to stop me? You? Maria and Tanya already know, and they don't care. Stop being such a daisy picker."

Did it surprise me when Jasper lurched forward at Edward and tried to snatch the bag from his friend's pocket? No, not at all. I was totally expecting it, in fact.

What _did_ surprise me was Edward's reaction.

With those faster-than-lightning reflexes of his, he grabbed Jasper's arm and fiercely slammed him against the side of the car. His forearm was shoved against Jasper's neck to pin him in place. There was a dangerous flash in his dark green eyes that made my heart skip a beat.

He snapped, "Jasper, don't start with me right now. She may be your sister, but she's my friend you know. I've known her longer than you have! I won't just sit around and watch her sulk over a jerk like Caius."

Jasper's entire demeanor suddenly changed. His confidently relaxed muscles tensed like coiled springs, and his eyes shadowed with fear as he limply tried to struggle out of Edward's stronger grip. Edward's too-aggressive gesture had changed _my_ Jasper into General Hale's Jasper. The one that shied away from dominance so he could retreat into the shadows.

Edward noticed the change in him as well. He looked regretful as he hesitantly removed his hold on his friend. He sighed, "Just get the damn cases and bring them in."

Edward grabbed one and stalked towards the house. I watched sadly, too stunned for words, as Jasper obediently and silently pulled the other two out. His head was lowered, and he asked, "Can you shut the trunk, Bella?"

I tucked one of the bottles under my arm and did what he asked. I wanted to talk to him, say _something_, but the look on his face was a clear warning to me that it would not be the best idea right now. I just followed him back towards the house.

Don't ask me what the hell happened, but less then an hour later, we had rock music shaking the walls of the house. We were sitting in a circle on the living room floor. All seven of us, even myself, had downed at least two beers already, and been convinced into trying Edward's ecstasy.

_Smooth talking bastard._

Maria somehow got our too-happy asses into playing a no restrictions shot game of never-have-I-ever. Because she thought of the game, she got to start it. Her eyes glinted evilly. It was pretty obvious she was just going to try to see who died of alcohol poisoning first.

"Never have I ever sworn in front of my parents." Maria started mildly to kick the game off. Carlisle, Tanya, and Jasper all downed a shot, being poured another by Edward.

Tanya smirked, officially making this game a battle of the sexes. "Never have I ever kissed a girl."

All three boys chugged their shots. Even through my strong buzz, I was glad to see neither Rosalie, Tanya nor Maria take a shot to that.

"Never have I ever eye fucked Edward." Jasper announced.

Edward and him both started to giggle like idiots as all of the girls, yes even me, took a shot to that. What can I say? Edward was one hot bitch with those tight shirts of his, and his unruly sex-hair. Carlisle was the one who refilled the tiny cups.

I randomly thought of one and blurted it out. "Never have I ever stayed up all night."

It was surprising to see only Jasper and Tanya take a shot. Those two were tied now, even though Tanya didn't look even mildly bleary eyed.

Carlisle smirked, looking quite a bit more devious than I could recall seeing before. "Never have I ever had sex."

_Prick._

Everyone except for him and Maria took a shot. That shocked me- I had expected her to take the shot, while Edward sat out.

Maria echoed my thoughts. "Edward, who the hell have you been with?"

Jasper's eyes twinkled, and he took a guess, his speech a little distorted. "Never have I ever slept with Esme Platt."

Edward, grinning like an idiot, took his shot. The rest of us seemed to become shell-shocked.

"You were with _Esme_?" Carlisle asked in disbelief.

"Marcus would shank you if he knew that." Tanya laughed.

Edward's eyes flashed with that same little spark from outside. "I'd like to see him try it."

The sudden hostility ringing off of him made us all shift nervously. Well, except for Tanya. Her eyes seemed to glow with the light of challenge.

Rosalie broke the tension by announcing, "Never have I ever kissed Carlisle."

Drawn back into the game, I scowled and downed my third shot. It was starting to burn my throat.

"Never have I ever kissed Caius." I shot back at her. Both Rosalie and Maria drank to that one.

Exactly six minutes had passed since we took the pills Edward gave us, and apparently it was starting to affect Jasper. He spilt the bottle of vodka he was holding onto all over us both as he leaned over to randomly kiss my neck. Tanya snatched the bottle from him to save the fourth of it that was left.

Jasper whispered into my ear, and _I_ even had trouble hearing his slurred words over the loud music. "C'mon, Bella, let's go back t' my room."

I smiled, and we helped one another stand up before we stumbled down the hall. Several of the others whistled as he went- but we paid no attention to them. Jasper held firmly onto my hand as he closed the door. A second later, I found myself sandwiched between his warm body and the hard wall.

His lips instantly attacked mine, and I found it was a struggle to get any air sucked in as our tongues began to massage each other. His hands tightly gripped my hips as I started to undo the wet button and zipper on his jeans so I could make him take them off.

It took him a moment to realize what I was doing. Once it sank in, he ripped himself away from me to allow me to breathe again. His hands began to strip my wet clothes off.

"Bella." He whispered, his sexy blue eyes locking directly onto mine. They suddenly looked clearer than they had in the living room. "What's your favorite number?"

I was distracted from answering when his body grounded against mine, and he started sucking on a very sensitive spot near my collarbone, as his magical hands worked on massaging my chest.

I groaned, wrapping my left leg around the back of his knees so I could press myself against him- searching for the friction my throbbing body was screaming for.

Jasper's hands grabbed my hips, and he held me still as he slipped inside of my body. I knew I was safe in his hold, so I daringly wrapped my legs around his waist and held on tight to his strong biceps.

He kissed me again, rougher even then before, and demanded, "Favorite number."

"Four." I answered breathily, without really needing to think.

It was a great number. It was the number of years a person went to high school. Most college degrees were four years. Counting myself, I had four family members now that Phil was around. I had four best friends- Jasper, Carlisle, Alice, and (maybe, sort of) Rosalie. It was officially an important number in my life, so it was my favorite.

Jasper smiled at me, and I felt dazzled by his handsome face and smoldering eyes. He growled, "I'm going to make you scream my name four times before the sun comes up."

I guess my record for not staying up all night was going to end.

* * *

**Teaser for c26:** Carlisle was… looking really bad.

_All reviewers who say more than "update soon" or "great chapter" will get an extended teaser!_

* * *


	39. Chapter 26: Break

* * *

The first thing I heard when I woke up, or perhaps regained consciousness, was someone saying my name. I groaned and rolled over, searching for the blankets to hide under. It was only when my hand met Jasper's shoe did I realize I was on the floor.

After that, I was quite suddenly hyper-aware of _everything_.

I was so hungry I'd eat my own hand if it were all I could find. My vision was a little blurrier than what it usually was when I woke up. I smelt like alcohol, my mouth tasted bad, my head hurt like a bitch- and lets _not_ even touch the subject of how much my female parts were aching.

Not a great list right there.

"Bella!" The someone from before tried to get my attention again. It took me a second to register the voice in question.

"What the hell do you want, Rosalie? I'm trying to die here."

My voice was sharper than I would have liked, having just realized I sort of liked Rose after being exposed to her for this many days. But I really, honestly, did just want to curl into a ball and wither away.

"Help me wake Jasper up. You two should eat something." Rose answered; sounding totally unfazed by my anger towards her for bothering me.

I'd rather eat real food than my hand, so I reluctantly pulled myself upright. Moving my raw-feeling insides in the sitting position was torture. I whimpered and sank back onto my side, unable to fight back the tears that started to roll down my cheeks. I sniffled and quickly wiped them away with a large sleeve.

It was only then that I realized I was actually wearing clothes- thank God for that. A pair of my shorts and one of my own shirts. Jasper had also put on me his favorite sweater. It was heavy and warm and smelt just like him.

I was surprised when Rosalie came and sat cross-legged on the floor between myself, and a pile of sleeping Jasper. Her hand was timidly set on my shoulder, and she asked gently, "Hey… you okay, Bella?"

"No." I whimpered through a serious pout. "I-it hurts to move."

"I wonder why." She commented with no real weight to the words. It was pretty obvious by the dark look in her eyes, and the awkward twist to her face, that she _knew_ why. Here's the problem: I wasn't sure _I_ did.

I had never had any alcohol before in my life. Call me weak if you would, but two beers and three shots had really messed me up rather badly. I had short blackout spurts the entire time Jasper and I were conscious together. I could not recall how I jumped from one memory to another as I lay there trying to figure it out.

I felt my cheeks stain red, and I asked, "How many times did we…" I found it entirely too embarrassing to finish asking that question to Jasper's sister- in every respect of the word.

"I had the count at three, but Tanya has it at four." She smiled shyly. I wasn't surprised that even she would be shy with admitting she was actually keeping a tally of something like that.

I groaned and pressed my palms against my eyes, muttering, "It was definitely four."

I hoped Jasper was happy with himself. His dumb ass did this to me. _What's your favorite number, Bella_, I thought to myself in a scathing and rather mocking voice. I should have known that was leading somewhere shifty. I should have said zero; that probably would have been the best thing to do.

Stupid alcohol clouding my judgment. Stupid ecstasy pills making me lusty. _Stupid Edward- _end of sentence_._

"What time is it, anyway?" I asked her.

"I think it's three in the afternoon, or somewhere around that." She answered promptly. "You guys were up until like five or something. Jasper wandered into the living room at five thirty to find you some new clothes. He said you had fallen asleep."

That made me smile, and I even laughed once. "That is such a Jasper thing to do." Only he would make sure I was taken care of when he probably felt just as- if not more- tired than I had when I finally shoved him off of me and crashed. I distinctively remember being on the bed, though. I must have rolled off.

Oh, well. At least Jasper had slept on the floor with me. Yeah, that _did_ make me feel a little better. Not sure why.

I was actually was shocked when Rose agreed with me, nodding at my comment. Damn, since when did we have a mental wave link? How could she possibly understand what the hell I had meant by that comment?

Well, then again, she was awfully close to Jasper.

Her deep, blue eyes turned onto his peacefully sleeping body, and she smiled. "He really cares about you, Bella. I've _never_ seen him like this before. He's never been so happy."

Have _I_ ever been so happy? No, not at all. Before Forks, I lived a life of self-inflicted seclusion, chasing after my mom or keeping to myself. Here in Forks, I was not a voice of reason. I was just Bella.

I was _Jasper's_ Bella. Just like he was solely and forever my Jasper- I was his now. I'd only had one other relationship, but I knew the difference between Carlisle and Jasper. It was easy being with Carlisle because he was like born to be my best friend. He was almost a brother from another part of the world.

Being with Jasper wasn't always easy, but it was right. I couldn't stop beaming when I was with him. Our bodies shifted in synchronization for even the slightest of movements. His arms around me were better than anything else in the world. Being with Jasper was like heaven.

"I think I love him, Rose." I whispered, sounding quite in-awe at the idea of this revelation.

She smiled at me. "You'd have to ask him, but I would think it's safe to say that he loves you, too."

I, slower than before, struggled my way into the sitting position, clinging to the leg of the bed frame as support. After a moment, she whispered, "Don't hurt him, Bella. He's already had enough of that."

Her eyes met mine again, and they were both fiercely protective and pleading. It was in that instant that I noticed a flicker of understanding had passed between us. Just by looking into her eyes, I could see that she cared about him as much as I did, in her own way. If I broke him, she'd crack too. If I made him hurt, she would share in the ache. They were connected in a way I'd never realized before.

For the first time, I had found some common ground with Rosalie Hale, and it sort of felt nice to know we wouldn't be at odds anymore.

"Don't worry. I'd never do anything to hurt him." I promised whole-heartedly. Apparently, she believed me, because she didn't say anything more on the matter.

In fact, her voice regained its usual firmness. "Well, wake him up, and drag him into the kitchen. I'll make something for you guys." She got to her feet and left the room.

I winced as I shuffled the four feet between Jasper and myself. I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him behind his ear. "Jasper, it's time to wake up."

He mumbled something under his breath and rolled away from me. I smiled and determinedly went back over to him. Sitting sideways, I leaned into his soft stomach. I gave him one small, sharp shake. "You get food out of it. Open your eyes."

After a few seconds of motionless silence, Jasper yawned, and with a small sigh, forced his eyes to drag open. He muttered sleepily, "It had better be good food."

I shook my head and smiled. "Rose is making it. Let's go see if it meets your standards, Superman."

"'Kay, Snowflake." He half-answered quietly as he rolled onto his back and sat up. He rubbed his eyes and messed with his hair for a few seconds. Those couple moments seemed to be all he had needed.

Looking a bit more alert, he glanced shyly at me and asked, "Uh... so are you okay? We got pretty wild last night."

"Let's not talk about last night." I groaned.

"I'm sorry." He quietly apologized, frowning sadly.

I leaned over and kissed his cheek, reminding softly, "That's considered talking about it."

I didn't want him to feel any sort of guilt or regret over the eight hours that we on-and-off frolicked with one another. It was fun as hell- even if I was suffering for it right now.

And speaking of suffering! "Come on, Jasper, I'm starving." Getting some aspirin for my multitude of pains wouldn't be that bad of an idea, either.

He stood up and then took my hands to pull me to my feet. My arms wrapped around his strong stomach, as his came over my chest and held me close to him. He supported me as we made our way into the kitchen.

Maria was asleep, possibly passed out, on the couch. Everyone else was in the kitchen.

Rosalie was frying something. Tanya was sitting at the kitchen table, glaring murder at Edward- who was sitting on the counter top beside the sink watching Carlisle with wide, regretful eyes.

Carlisle was… looking really bad. His eyes were hazy; and though he was shivering like he was half frozen, he was sweating profusely. His body looked tense and small because of how tightly he was scrunching himself.

"What the hell _happened_ to him?" Jasper asked, his voice echoing the wariness I was feeling.

Tanya answered dryly. "He got a little too happy with the disco biscuits at noon. We warned him not to take more than one, but he wouldn't listen. It should wear off in another hour or two."

"If it lasts longer than that?" Jasper asked with true concern. It was good to know he was warming up to Carlisle and actually able to care about his health despite their opposition to one another.

"Then he goes to the hospital!" Maria shouted sleepily from the other room.

Carlisle's eyes widened, his already large pupils looking like big, hazel full moons. His body tremored once, and he panicked, "I can't go to the hospital like this! They'll call my dad; I'm not eighteen yet! He's already unhappy with me; this will just cause a war or something."

My best friend began to fidget uneasily in his chair, going so far as to glance over his shoulder once to make sure his father wasn't behind him. Later I would research ecstasy and learn that paranoia was actually a side effect.

At the time, though, it frightened me to see him like that.

"Carlisle, calm down." Rosalie's surprisingly relaxed voice ordered the boy. "You're going to be fine. You're already better than earlier."

She set a large (huge) bowl of eggs on the table and tossed paper plates at all of us. Carlisle's eyes met hers, and I was surprised to see that they were so trusting. He quietly asked, "Will you take care of me, Rosalie? Y-you won't let me go to a hospital, right?"

She sat down beside him, her hand very gently squeezing his. "I'll take care of you."

Smiling much too cheerfully, he served himself some eggs and began to eat them. His chewing was quite forced. Tense jaw muscles- another negative side effect.

Quite out of nowhere, Jasper snapped, "Edward, you fucking idiot, this is your fault. Didn't I tell you the whole thing was a bad idea?"

The alpha-Edward we saw yesterday flared for a second. Edward's eyes crackled with hostility, and he glared directly at Jasper. The entire atmosphere of the room changed.

Carlisle remained oblivious- or he was ignoring us. But us girls noticed the thick aggression that suddenly seemed to cloud our very air. Rosalie frowned, keeping a close eye on Jasper as he curled his hands into fists. Even Tanya, who I had never once seen look anything but careless, shifted uneasily in her chair.

"Shut up, Jasper." Edward ordered sharply. "I told him he'd regret taking three of them earlier, and it's not like I stuffed them into his mouth. How is this my fault?"

_Alpha fight?_

Jasper sighed once, a short and exasperated noise. His voice was steely when he responded. "Stop trying to justify a mistake, Edward. You're only getting defensive because you know I'm right."

Edward opened his mouth to protest, but he didn't have the chance to talk. Jasper was not finished yet. "I told you last time your dad left that this was going to happen! I _told_ you that your weakness was going to bring you down. Now other people are falling with you. This isn't about your damn pills, Edward; it's about _you_."

_Damn. You tell him_, _Mufasa._

Hearing the bitter truth spouted with such harsh anger- from his best friend no less- made Edward retreat into a shell. He flinched away from his friend's furious gaze, his head lowering. I saw a couple of tears start to fall from his eyes.

I sat in silent amazement, as Simba seemed to shrink. He was not ten feet tall. He was not a big and powerful person like he was yesterday night. He looked smaller then even Alice, and that really was saying something.

Maria wandered into the kitchen and asked, "Tanya, can you drive me home?"

Tanya glanced at her, shrugging once before standing up. She held her hand out for Edward. His eyes locked onto it, and he hesitantly gripped it in his own, sliding off of the counter. All three of them were silent as Tanya led them out of the house.

"That was dramatic." Carlisle commented, though his attention was primarily on the table. "We could restage it and put it in a movie. I could feel the tension."

"Shut up, Carlisle." Jasper sighed unhappily. He just verbally bitch slapped the one person he considered a friend to him. He was clearly not in the mood for drugged up people to annoy him.

To everyone's shock, Carlisle fell instantly silent. That was a first for those two.

Rosalie glanced once at me before wrapping her arms around Carlisle's shoulders. She set her chin on his shoulder and started whispering something to him. He was mostly unresponsive, but he might have been listening.

I patted Jasper's back supportively. Edward didn't seem like the type to stay upset about something for long. Everything would be back to normal again.

----------------

_So I had thought_.

----------------

That night dad picked me up from Jasper's house. I told him that Alice had to go to some family thing for the New Year, so I came to spend time with Rosalie and her friends. He had sounded suspicious on the phone, but when we gave one another a very quick good-bye hug, I had him convinced.

Still feeling terrible the next morning, I forced myself not to skip school for the sole fact it was the first time I'd be seeing half of my friends in two long weeks. So much had changed for _me_, I was curious to find out if anything happened for _them_.

I learned three things.

Angela and Emmett were officially an item. He had invited her on a skiing trip in Canada over the break, and she said she could almost feel the pull they had towards one another.

Alice was not there, and not a single person – not even Marcus or Esme – knew where she was.

Edward had crossed a line of evil. I was sitting with the rest of the little pride at lunch when Carlisle noticed it. Rosalie had nervously brushed it off as nothing. Jasper was instantly so depressed he wouldn't talk to any of us for the rest of the lunch period. He was really quiet after school, too.

Wearing both a leather jacket and a fierce scowl, Edward was sitting with Caius and Peter. He snapped at Tanya when she went over to ask him something. Looking offended, she stalked off some other direction. The second she was gone, Peter had leaned closer to him and whispered something that made them both bubble with laughter.

When Peter got up to leave, Edward had followed without so much as a second glance at Caius. The two of them together were a rather intimidating sight, neither being too kind looking. People parted for them like the Red Sea.

Just like his cousin, Edward Masen was officially lost to the shadows of evil.

* * *

_And then there were four._

* * *


	40. Twenty Five & Six in Edward's POV

**_The Project_**

**_Outtake -- Chapters 25 & 26_**

**_Edward's POV  
_**

* * *

Time with Tanya proved to be a lot more helpful then I thought it would be. She was just the perfect balance of supportive and no-nonsense that I needed in life. She would hold me when I needed her the most, and hit me in the head and tell me to be a man if I started getting out of hand. Perhaps it wasn't the raft I was used to, but having a log to cling onto when being tossed around the ocean was never a bad thing.

A little over a week had passed, and I was a lot happier than I usually was when dad was gone. Yesterday Jasper called me here and told me we were having a party at his house. There had been some drama with Caius, and Rose was broken over it. I assured Jasper that Tanya and me would be there---then I went to Peter's house to find Alice. She, of course, had something for me to take to the party that would for-sure lift Rose's spirits.

Today was the day of said party. Tanya had just pulled into the parking lot of the most popular store among teens in the town. The store owner lived just outside of city limits, and he didn't care what he sold to whom if you had the money. It was a win-win situation!

I sat in the car, bored; as Tanya called Maria and Carlisle and compiled a quickly jotted list of things they wanted us to pick up. It wasn't long at all after she hung up that Jasper pulled into the parking lot, his car coming to rest in the space beside us. Tanya got out, and he went over to her. I watched them talk for a second before rolling out of the car myself and walking around it.

Jasper and Tanya disappeared into the store. I pinned my eyes onto Bella, heading towards her. "Hey, Bella!" I called out cheerfully as I came to stand beside her. I threw my arms around her and started leading her towards the entrance of the store. I grinned and promised her, "We are all going to have _such_ a good time tonight."

She peeked back at me as I opened the door for her and ushered her inside. She asked in a light tone, "Do you have something planned? This _is_ all a mission to make Rosalie happy again, remember that."

I remembered. How could I forget? I made a special trip to Ground Zero of evil, that being Peter's house, for the sole purpose of making Rose happy again. So what if pills were temporary? It was better than nothing.

I chuckled under my breath and felt half of my mouth pulling into my well-known crooked smile. "Oh, don't worry about Rose. I'll have her so giddy you won't even recognize her. _Before_ midnight." Bella would be giddy right along with the rest of us and she didn't even know it. Hah.

I got a cart and made my way towards the back-most section of the store. I slipped through a narrow glass door and entered the "restricted" area of the store. It held all the alcohol in it. I loitered for a while trying to decide what to get. How much, too. It wasn't long before I settled on a light beer, three cases to split between the seven of us.

Tanya poked her head in when I was looking at the vodka. She decided for me, "Just get the strongest one, you're taking too long."

I rolled my eyes and added two bottles of vodka to my cart. She was already checked out and had her stuff in the car. I slipped some money to the owner and we shiftily put the alcohol into the trunk of the car before we headed for Jasper's house.

----------------

Tanya went inside ahead of me, promising to send Jasper and Bella out to the car. It was only a minute or two before the two of them came over to the Volvo to stand beside me. I glanced over my shoulder, nervous about being seen by a neighbor. When I was sure we were alone I opened up my trunk.

Sounding more serious than death, Jasper tried to dissuade me before I even said anything. "Hey, man, I don't think this is a good idea. Last time-"

I waved my hand at him to make him shut up. "Last time Marcus let you have too much." I reminded him. Jasper had only ever drunk once. It led to the whole fiasco with Alice, which meant he would complain about this until he was blue in the face if I let him. I promised on a lighter note, "I'll make sure you're locked away when you start to slur your words and trip on imaginary cats."

His face turned red and he tried to divert the conversation. "And what's in the bag?"

I grinned at Bella. She was about to find out what I meant earlier. Well, in just a second. I extracted the vodka bottles and held them out for her to take. She did so silently, looking unhappy but not unwilling. Smiling to myself I answered Jasper as I pocketed the bag, "Ecstasy pills. Alice gave them to me. If Rose still feels depressed later, we can slip one in her drink. It'll cheer her right up!"

Jasper's face registered shock, and a storm of rage billowed in his eyes within seconds. He tried to sound firm when he attempted to shoot me down. "Edward, throw those away. You're _not_ passing them around."

I glared at Jasper and snorted. "And who is going to stop me? You?" A look of sheer fury was creeping swiftly across his face. He hated it when I flaunted his uselessness in his face. I continued, "Maria and Tanya already know, and they don't care. Stop being such a daisy picker."

Jasper suddenly hurtled himself at me. I had enough time to move if I wanted to. I also could have just shoved him backwards, the simplest of all defensive counter-attacks. Naturally, neither of those non-violent options worked for me. Instead I grabbed Jasper and twisted him sideways, slamming him against my car, hard. I shoved my forearm against his throat to keep him quiet as I glared down at him.

"Jasper, don't start with me right now." I warned, my tone making it obvious I wasn't messing around-if he hadn't already been able to guess that. "She may be your sister, but she's my friend you know. I've known her longer than you have! I won't just sit around and watch her sulk over a jerk like Caius."

I met Rose through Alice when we were like six. That was three long years before Jasper moved to Forks. In many ways, I liked him better than anyone else in the world. He wasn't always supportive like Alice or understanding like Esme, but Jasper was my confident and my best friend. That didn't mean, however, that he ranked as more _important_ than the other people I knew. Rosalie included.

My physically hostile behavior towards Jasper affected him badly, the worst it could have if we were getting technical. The confident and strong person I had always looked up to was gone, replaced by the weaker and submissive half that I hated seeing.

I felt Jasper's body tighten up, an instinctive reaction for him when he was nervous. His eyes were frightened and he uselessly tried to wiggle away from my over-powering hold on him. I knew that if he _wanted_ to, he could have kneed me in the stomach and flailed out of my reach. He was never the type to give up during a fight. The saddest thing about the exchange is that he just feebly fought back, which meant he _didn't_ want to escape the harm I could easily inflict on him. He couldn't find the inner-fire to try.

And that was my fault, because I forgot myself the moment he lurched at me. I forgot to remember how fragile he really was and how easy it was to break him. Regret stabbed at me and I relaxed my body, stepping away from Jasper a few paces to give him some space.

"Just get the damn cases and bring them in." I sighed at him. If he would stop being so difficult this wouldn't have happened! I snatched the top case of beer and brought it into the house, knowing they would both join me in a couple of minutes.

----------------

It only took me a bit longer than a half an hour to get everyone at least a little buzzed and talk circles around Carlisle and Bella to make them try the Ecstasy. Ninety seconds later Maria had us all in a circle on the floor, all holding a vodka-filled shot glass. She announced we were playing a game of never-have-I-ever, with no boundaries set up. Having "off limits" questions for this game was for sissies.

We told Maria she had to launch the game. She looked a little evil, but decided to start us off easy. "Never have I ever sworn in front of my parents."

Jasper and Tanya down swallowed their shot a half of a second later. More hesitantly, Carlisle followed suit. I was surprised that he swore at all, especially in front of his father! Shrugging the thought away I refilled their cups.

"Never have I ever kissed a girl." Tanya announced through a devious smirk.

Us boys took our drinks. The shot glasses were not even refilled before Jasper took his turn. "Never have I ever eye fucked Edward."

I glanced at him and we both started to giggle stupidly. Blame the alcohol. My ego swelled when all four ladies downed their tiny cups.

Carlisle refilled them as Bella said, "Never have I ever stayed up all night."

Tanya and Jasper took their shot. I had come close once, but a half an hour of sleep still counted as sleeping-therefore not being up _all_ night.

"Never have I ever had sex." Carlisle proudly boasted, which didn't seem to shock anyone here even though it gained him death glares from Rose and Bella. He and Maria sat out while all the rest of us swallowed the strong liquid.

"Edward, who the hell have you been with?" Maria asked, sounding astonished. I dated her for a while earlier this year, before we both got bored with each other. Apparently she didn't learn much about my personal life during that time.

"Never have I ever slept with Esme Platt." Jasper cheerfully declared, his words sounding funny as his strong buzz began to mess with him.

_My_ buzz was getting me there, and I grinned as I drank down yet another little glass. Sounding like he was in denial, Carlisle gasped, "You were with _Esme_?"

Tanya laughed. "Marcus would shank you if he knew that."

A blaze of fire seared through me at this challenge. I glared at Tanya and scoffed, "I'd like to see him try." Marcus was one of her closest friends, and she knew him well. But I did too, which meant I knew what he was capable of. He would not hesitate to try and stab me if it was over Esme; the boy was ridiculously territorial of her. You can't even look at her sideways without him bristling and threatening your eyes. But he wasn't fast enough or strong enough to hold onto a knife if I wanted to get it from him.

Unlike the others in the room, Tanya didn't seem afraid of me acting confrontational, even though we both knew I was hotheaded and dangerous. On the contrary, my display of Edwardness only seemed to excite the daredevil that slept within her.

"Never have I ever kissed Carlisle." Rose said, breaking the sudden silence. Bella alone drank to that.

She fought back, though. "Never have I ever kissed Caius." The statement drew both Maria and Rose to take a shot of their own.

Jasper decided he was tired of the game, and he half-flung himself at Bella. He sloppily pressed his lips against her neck, only really getting her wet as he spilled the vodka bottle in his hand all over her. Tanya yanked it out of his hand to rescue what remained.

The two of them stumbled to their feet and helped each other down the hallway towards Jasper's room. Rose and I both whistled, laughing when Jasper glared at us over his shoulder before slipping into his room.

The rest of us dispersed a few seconds later. Rosalie announced she was hungry and was going to go make something to eat. Carlisle and Maria were hot on her heels, all stumbling into the kitchen in a disorderly fashion. I was left alone with Tanya, and she took advantage of that.

She scooted closer to me and grinned. I raised an eyebrow and asked, "What?"

"So, you and Esme, huh?" She made the statement in the form of a question. She then tacked on, "How _did_ that happen?"

I shrugged, sighing wistfully. "It was a bad year for me, and everyone else was too busy to spend time with me. It was just the two of us for like fourteen months. One night we got talking and, well... it just happened."

"Just once?" She inquired curiously.

"Yeah, just once." I honestly answered her.

"What were you talking about?" She pressed, her head tilting very slightly as she waited for an answer. She always did that when she was very intent on an answer.

"Um, I was rather depressed that night." I admitted shamelessly. It wasn't really a shocker, was it? "I was on this little abandonment trip. Dad was gone, Jasper and Alice were busy with each other, and I hadn't really trusted myself around anyone else at the time."

I smiled, maybe even gushed a bit, as the memory flooded to my mind; fresh and vivid as if it had happened just yesterday. "I had my head on her lap, we were on my bed. I said 'I might as well just be dead, nobody would miss me.' She made me sit up, looked me straight in the eyes, and said '_I_ would miss you, Edward. I would miss you more than you know.'"

I didn't divulge much deeper into the conversation. It had been a rather heartfelt one between us, where she admitted that I had become a sort of anchor for her after Royce died. Where I admitted that I had always appreciated the way she'd stood beside me when I needed her, even if I tried to push her away. I informed my friend, "Then, as I said, it really just happened after that."

"What do you feel now?" Tanya asked, throwing me off guard. I glanced at her in confusion. She elaborated a little bit. "Your dad is gone again. We haven't seen Alice in a week. Esme is with Marcus all the time, and Jasper has Bella. Is that why you're so unhappy this time? Because it seems like you're all alone?"

I took a serious moment to consider her theory, which made total sense if I actually thought about it. I whispered sadly, "Yeah, I guess that is why."

"You know that I'm here for you, right Edward?" Tanya asked me quietly, her eyes boring into me with an intensity that matched my own. How come it took me this long to realize what pretty blue eyes she had?

Her declaration might have struck some people with hesitation, or surprise. There was not many people a girl like Tanya would be affectionate with. She was rough, she had a tendency to be mean, and she was not afraid to be violent if she had to. Hell, just if she _wanted_ to.

But I was not the regular old person. Not when it came to her, at any rate. She was my friend, maybe even a closer one than I had ever let myself realize. I met Tanya when I was just a kid. I met her the same day Alice met her. How old were we at the time? Five? I think so. It was at Marcus's seventh birthday party.

For the first time in days I smiled, laughing to myself a little bit. I then nodded and agreed, "Yeah, I know that. And thanks for that, too. Really. I'm a little short on friends these days, you know."

My attempt at humor did not seem to amuse her any. She didn't smile at all, or chuckle with me. She just stared at she for a few agonizingly long moments. I got a little nervous, pinned under those dark blue eyes that seemed to see right into my heart and soul. She had a thing for that, pinpointing exactly what it was that was bothering one of her friends. But why was she thinking so hard about it? I had just told her what was bothering me! Was I missing something about myself?

Hm... Well, I do suppose it wouldn't surprise me any. I was still in a fragile state of mind, even if it wasn't totally broken anymore. There was a lot about me that I didn't care to realize when I sank into these depressions. Maybe I needed a girl like her around to keep me updated on myself.

(I will admit I knew I got crazy when I was going manic. That partially incoherent babble just proved it.)

Without saying a word, Tanya shifted very close to me. So close that I could feel her knee brushing harmlessly on the edge of my thigh. I was startled this time. I moved away from her a little, bit, uncomfortable with the sudden closeness. Paranoia was heavily noticeable in my voice when I asked her, "What is it?"

She only leaned forward, her eyes locked onto mine and her warm breath on my lips. I was rather well practiced when it came to the simple things that girls wanted, so I didn't even need to consciously make the decision to lean forward myself and kiss her--it was just a natural response to the obvious opening she gave me.

So that's exactly what happened.

I drifted closer, closing the direly small distance she had left between us. My lips pressed gently against hers. She make it more forceful, enveloping me in a very passionate buss with her. The intensity that grew, blazed, between us as quickly as it did frighten me. I found myself growing anxious as she got closer to me. And man, was she getting close or what?

She had straddled my lap, an interesting feat considering my legs were crossed and not straight forward. She was _really_ up against me to make that position work for her. Her arms had snaked around my neck and she was sort of teasing me with her lips, tracing an impossibly faint and fiery line of kisses on my neck and cheek.

I wrapped my arms around her back, but I pulled away from her at the same time. I didn't want to let her go, I could never let go of the one thing I had left to hold onto. I just wanted her to slow down a little bit, the pace of things was scaring me. I had emotions that were really fucking easy to mess with. I had to try and guard them from any possible harm, even from her. I tried to sound confident when I spoke, though my voice quivered terribly, "Hey, take it easy there, tiger."

Tanya pulled away from me, her eyes flickering back onto me after I had roused her from her activities. She smiled gently and promised, "You don't have to be afraid, Edward. I'm here for you. I'm not going to hurt you. I'd never hurt you."

The heavy amount of warmth in her voice just broke the little resistance I had tried to build up. How could I possibly distrust someone who could address me in such a manner? Such a caring, honest tone? For whatever reason Tanya WAS here for me. She was NOT going to hurt me. It was an odd sentiment to wrap my head around. I wanted to trust her, and I knew that she knew what she was doing. I knew she would not push me farther than she thought I was ready for, emotionally. Of course physically there was no problem.

I cleared my throat nervously. I felt my cheeks flame and redden when admitted shyly, "I've only ever done this the one time..."

Quite a sly, devious grin snapped onto her face when she grabbed my shirt collar, pulling me to my feet after she herself had stood up. She laughed and stroked her leg between my own, making a jolt of fire strike through my groin. Her voice was low and husky when she whispered, "Don't worry about it, _tiger_. I'll teach you a thing or two before the sun rises."

I was half-dragged up the stairs, and I had no doubt in my mind that she'd make good on _that_ promise.

----------------

I have no idea what time I fell asleep once Tanya was finally done with me, but I crashed fast and hard. I had a dreamless sleep, which was something I was very thankful for. I hated having dreams. They were either happy ones, which made waking up all that much worse; or they were nightmares, which meant that I couldn't even escape my reality during the few hours a night that I had to run from it.

My deep slumber was disturbed however long later. I heard my name called, and felt a rather hard hit strike my shoulders. Sighing I rolled onto my back and opened my eyes a little bit. Tanya was sitting up beside me, gazing down and waiting for me to wake. The sunlight was filtering in through the window, making her pale blonde hair glow.

"Hey." She greeted cheerfully, piratically beaming down at me. She looked more radiant than the sun it's self.

"Hey." I echoed, smiling so big it hurt my cheeks. She laughed at me, reaching down to the floor and picking up my clothes. I sat up and stretched, noting that she was already fully dressed except for some socks.

I took the articles from her when she handed them to me. Her hair fell over her shoulder and brushed against my forearm. I smiled and raised my hand, brushing my fingers under her chin and raising her head up. We kissed one another gently. It only lasted a few little seconds, but it was so tender and pure that I felt myself sort of bubbling inside.

"You're eyes are even prettier in the sunshine." I whispered quietly, not sure if I should be embarrassed that I just told her that --- or if I should be proud of myself for being sensitive. It was an attribute I severely lacked the vast majority of the time.

Tanya just laughed a little bit, though it was not insincere. "I'll remember that, I guess." Those dark eyes sparkled with mischief and she added, "Maybe I can use it against you sometime."

We both got a good laugh out of that, and for a second in my life... well, things were easy. It felt natural to be with her, laughing with her and smiling because of her. I didn't feel any sort of pressure or darkness while she was right beside me.

But all good things come to an end some time or another, many a lot faster than we'd like. Tanya told me she'd meet me downstairs, and slipped out of the room. I got myself dressed and followed her shortly after. The clock in the living room said that it was just a little bit past eleven in the morning. Maria was asleep on the couch when I descended the final stair. Rosalie was nowhere in sight, and I heard Tanya and Carlisle chattering to each other from the kitchen. I suddenly knew my destination. I entered the doorway in time to hear a little snippet of what Carlisle was asking.

"...bad happen if I took a few more of these?" I overheard him ask Tanya. He was holding up an unmarked pill bottle. Several colorful tablets lay at the bottom. It was the ecstasy that was left over from the party.

Tanya raised an eyebrow at Carlisle, but she only shrugged and answered. "_I_ wouldn't do it."

She didn't seem to understand why he was asking. I knew, I could just look at him and tell. His face seemed older than it should have, and his eyes were dull with suppressed pain. He didn't want more drugs because it was fun. He needed them, because he wanted an escape from _his_ reality, too. And you know what, I didn't look at him badly for that. He lived in such a terribly worse world than anyone else in this house. His home couldn't even be called a home anymore. If he wanted to get away from that for a while, even if it was just a few hours... who were we to blame him?

"Go ahead and take one." I urged him quietly. He looked surprised, but not unhappy. His eyes snapped onto mine and I smiled a bit. "It's okay to want them, Carlisle."

"Edward!" Tanya snapped angrily, clearly using her common sense in this situation. She knew as well as I did that it was dangerous to take too much of any pill, especially stronger doses of ecstasy like Alice had given me. But I ignored Tanya, because sometimes logic was more useless than dirt.

I leaned forward, staring into Carlisle's eyes with the usual intensity people got from me. He looked unnerved, but he did not look away. "The people you love are all turning on you. You feel hurt and alone in a way nobody seems to understand. You can't take it anymore, it's just become too much for you." I paused, and he nodded meekly. I shoved a half-glass of water that was sitting on the table closer to him and smiled reassuringly. "Then it if that's what you want. Keep the bottle, actually. _I_ understand why you need them."

Tanya was silent now, just watching anxiously as Carlisle shook three into his hand. He asked me quietly, "Will three be too strong for me?"

"Probably." I answered honestly. I hinted, "If I were you, I'd only take one. You're not going to like the way you feel if you've got too much in you."

He just shrugged, popped in all three, and chugged down the water. He relaxed instantly, the mental hope it's make him happier actually making him happier. He smiled at me, and I smiled back.

----------------

Four hours since passed.

Carlisle was on a panic-trip, and we didn't know how to help him any. I called Alice, she didn't answer her phone. I called Marcus, his phone wasn't even on. Tanya said ecstasy wasn't her drug of choice, she had no idea what was wrong with Carlisle. He looked like he was having some sort of withdrawal, but his pupils told us otherwise. He was at the height of his high. Maybe it was just a little _too_ much mental-elevation for him to handle?

Rosalie had come downstairs about an hour ago, and man did she spaz when she found out -- I quote her words, "That it was _my_ fault _her_ Carlisle was in such a condition." She threatened to banish me from the kitchen entirely when I tried to tell her it was what was best for him. I resigned to sitting on the counter-top and monitoring, to make sure his condition didn't worsen any.

After a while we just agreed that we had to wait it out. Rose told Tanya to get some eggs ready for her and she'd scramble them up for everyone. She left the kitchen to retrieve Jasper and Bella from his room. It wasn't long before she was back, and the room was silent with the amount of unhappy clogging the air. Tanya was pissed at me. Rosalie was pissed at me. Carlisle probably was on my side, but he didn't count. I don't know why it bothered me so much, I was used to making people mad.

"What the hell _happened_ to him?"

I jumped a little bit when Jasper's voice shattered the silence. I hadn't noticed he and Bella had come into the room. Tanya shot me a swift glare before answering Jasper. "He got a little too happy with the disco biscuits at noon. We warned him not to take more than one, but he wouldn't listen. It should wear off in another hour or two."

_We_ didn't do anything of the sort. What _we_, myself and Carlisle, did was ignore the intelligent one in the room. She was just including me to try and keep a fight from breaking out.

"If it lasts longer than that?" Jasper asked anxiously, his eyes wide with fear.

"Then he goes to the hospital!" Maria, apparently awake now, yelled his answer from the living room.

Carlisle reacted badly. His eyes grew bigger and he shivered. His voice was tight with fear when he whimpered, "I can't go to the hospital like this! They'll call my dad; I'm not eighteen yet! He's already unhappy with me; this will just cause a war or something." He actually looked around his shoulder to make sure his dad was not in the room with us. I frowned even deeper.

Almost like she sensed the uncertainty we all felt, Rosalie stepped in and took control of the situation. She set the table as she spoke, "Carlisle, calm down. You're going to be fine. You're already better than earlier."

Gazing at her like his life depended on it he asked, "Will you take care of me, Rosalie? Y-you won't let me go to a hospital, right?"

She took the chair beside him and her hand clasped around his. She promised whole-heartedly, "I'll take care of you." That seemed to be good enough for him, because he beamed and began to eat.

"Edward, you fucking idiot, this is your fault." Jasper snapped suddenly, his deep voice laced thickly with anger. He glowered at me and demanded, "Didn't I tell you the whole thing was a bad idea?"

My own anger began to boil. What did he know about anything? And who the hell did he think he was, calling _me_ the fucking idiot? So what if I didn't give the best advice to people. Even people as messed up as Carlisle should know not to listen to me if they wanted a wise adviser. I was just a kid, you know. I didn't know everything. But I never claimed to, and it was the problem of whoever came into contact with me if they actually listened to me.

"Shut up, Jasper." I growled back at him. "I told him he'd regret taking three of them earlier, and it's not like I stuffed them into his mouth. How is this my fault?"

Jasper sighed, and I knew instantly his magnanimous patience with me had finally run out. Just like I knew it was coming, but I wasn't really ready for the onslaught when he snapped.

"Stop trying to justify a mistake, Edward. You're only getting defensive because you know I'm right." Jasper started, not even giving me the chance to say anything before he thrust the killing blow into my heart. "I told you last time your dad left that this was going to happen! I _told_ you that your weakness was going to bring you down. Now other people are falling with you. This isn't about your damn pills, Edward; it's about _you_."

And I flinched, tearing my eyes away from him. His words rang dramatically in my head, eating away at my soul as I sat before everyone. He had crossed a line there, mentioning my dad. But he was right. He _had_ to be right. Jasper knew me better than anyone else, in some aspects more than even Alice. He was not only my closest friend, but he was my brother. And brother's never lie to each other. I didn't want to believe him, though. I didn't want it to be true that I really was such a bad person.

A felt hot tears sting my eyes, rolling shamefully down my cheeks. I did nothing to stop them.

Tanya came over to me, extending her hand to me silently. I looked at it, feeling miserable. Despite the sadness, I felt a little spark of hope growing inside of my chest. She said she'd be here for me. She said she wasn't going to hurt me; like Jasper just did. _She_ was on my side.

I felt my heart closing off to Jasper, off to everyone and everything. If they didn't want me then that was just fine. Tanya wanted me. Alice would want me. My friends were not in this house. I reached forward and gripped Tanya's hand, slithering off the counter and holding onto her as we left the house and got into her car without so much as another glance towards the trio we left behind.

The divided pack had just gotten smaller, and there wasn't any desire in any of us to reunite.

* * *

**Teaser for c27:** "Bella, I need your help." Rosalie whimpered.

_All reviewers who say more than "update soon" or "great chapter" will get an extended teaser!_


	41. Chapter 27: Discovery

**SIX WEEKS LATER**

* * *

It was the second Saturday of February. It was the very first weekend since October that I was alone. By my request, Jasper and Carlisle were attempting to have some bonding time today. Because it required very little real attention towards each other, they were seeing a movie in Port Angeles. I was emailing mom and Phil when the phone rang. Dad was in Seattle, so I figured I should take a message. Maybe it was Billy, Harry, or Waylon inviting him somewhere tomorrow.

I snatched the cordless and clicked it on. "Charlie and Bella."

"Bella?" It startled me more than you'd have believed to hear Rosalie's voice on the other end. In the past month and a half, we have grown notably closer, but only when we were forced together through one of our boys. We'd never shown interest in being friendly outside of Jasper and Carlisle.

"Yeah, it's me." I answered a little needlessly. What other female would be over at this house?

"Bella, I need your help." Rosalie whimpered. "You have to do something for me. Alice won't answer her phone. Please?"

"Are you okay?" I asked in alarm.

"Maybe not." She answered. "Are you coming over?"

I sprang out of my chair and looked for my shoes. "Yeah, I'm coming. Give me ten minutes."

It took me eleven to get there, but close enough. Rosalie was waiting in her front yard, and she hurried over to the car before it had even pulled to a stop. She bounced inside and demanded, "We need to go to the store, Bella. Not one in town."

It was startling to hear that. The store? What did she need so urgently she'd call _me_?

I didn't ask questions; I just backed into the road and started for the little general store Jasper had taken me to on New Year's Eve. They had almost everything there- even if it was just in small amounts.

"So." I asked after a while of awkward silence. "What are we looking for?"

She met my eye, and she looked dead serious. "Bella," she sounded dead serious, too. "You have to let me know I can trust you. You can't tell anyone, not even Jasper. Okay? Promise me?"

I was getting bad vibes over this, but I _did_ want her to trust me. "I promise."

She looked out the window. "I think I'm pregnant."

I just about swerved off the road. She… pregnant? Oh hell!

"Why do you think that?" I managed to ask after the shock had worn off.

"I have all the signs." She answered gravely. "Every one of them."

"There are signs?" I asked stupidly. Had I ever paid that close of attention in health class? Probably not. Herpes and genital warts were not exactly my cup of tea. Sexual reproduction sort of tied in with the STD's.

She sighed a little. "Well, there's the tender breasts and sudden fatigue."

A little sensor in my brain clicked on when she said that. Were those signs? _Uh oh..._

She sounded bitter when she continued, "I missed my period last week, too."

My sensor in my brain started to panic. Last week I should have had mine, too. Had I? I couldn't remember, because I woke up on Wednesday and threw up. The rest of the day the smell of food made me queasy. It was a twenty-four hour flu.

Now I had to wonder if that was what it was.

"Rose," I whispered nervously. "Have you had morning sickness?"

"Yeah, once. A few days ago. It's what made me start to wonder; I was just too scared to buy the tests until now."

Sudden fatigue- which I had mistaken for simple exhaustion.

Tender breasts- which I had brushed off as a side effect of my non-existent time of the month.

Morning sickness- which was not the flu because nobody else had it nor caught it.

I felt myself turn what I was sure was a shade of green when I asked, "H-how much do these tests cost, exactly?"

I had like $40 with me. I was sure I could afford them. It was just natural for me to ask, to make sure something I deemed _direly_ necessary would be covered in expense. Rose's eyes met mine again, and we both frowned. Neither of us had to say it. I was very possibly pregnant, too. This knowledge made me drive faster. We were both tense and silent until I tore into the parking lot of the general store. Less eager than I, Rose followed me inside slowly.

I found the aisle near the front and laughed once, harsh and bitter, when I took in the contents of the shelf. I asked Rose, "Isn't that just a bitch?"

The pregnancy tests were right under six different sorts of condoms. Irony much?

Rose was able to find some humor, because she smiled a little and shook her head. She nudged me and joked half-heartedly, "You should get a box or two of those, Bella. They would have been useful."

I glanced at the six different sorts of Trojans, blushing profoundly when I asked for her advice. "Which one do you think I should get?"

She actually seemed to give it some thought before smirking at me. "Get the flavored ones."

And I thought I was blushing before!

Rosalie disappeared for a second, returning with a basket. "You go get some juice or something for us. I'll get these."

I shrugged and started towards the back of the store. I gathered an armful of vitamin water then went to the counter. Rosalie had two stacks of each sort of pregnancy test, and- to my horror- the little box of condoms that came in four flavors. I shook my head, if only to try and stop from being embarrassed with her. I would really have to take some time to try and get used to her forwardness. I'd never had a friend like that before.

We split the bill for everything and soon were back at my house. General Hale would be coming home soon, while dad was in Seattle until late. She took the bathroom downstairs; I took the one upstairs.

For the fifteen longest minutes of my entire eighteen years and four months of life, I waited. Every single second that passed, I became more worried and more anxious.

What if they said yes? I couldn't be a _mother_. My own parents had made the mistake of starting a family too early, and it ripped their relationship apart.

Did Jasper even _want_ kids?

My alarm clocked beeped, and I ignored it, going straight to my five little fate sticks. One said yes. Two had plus signs. One had a smiley face. One had a large pink P for positive.

They were positive. All of them. Every single one.

I felt my heart clench as tears welled in my eyes and began to spill down my cheeks at a fast rate. I had to lean against the wall to support myself as I fought off hyperventilation.

I didn't want this. I had never even considered kids before, and now I was going to have one if I liked it or not. It was six or seven weeks along inside of me. It was half way into its first trimester of development.

The beeping of the damn alarm clock was piercing through the air now; it was shrieking in my hyper-alert ears. Beep after beep like a heart monitor at a hospital. Louder and a steady pace. Like a heartbeat. Like the heartbeat inside of me.

My sorrow shifted to anger at the endless beeping. I grabbed the clock and threw it into the hallway. It ricocheted off the wall and broke into three pieces, shutting off.

Fuck. I just broke my alarm clock. I would be late for school on Monday now.

_Do you really care about school right now? Prioritize, Bella!_

I took a deep breath, wiping my face dry. Trying to find some sort of inner strength, trying _really_ hard to make myself okay with something that was not going to change, I headed down the stairs.

Rosalie was sitting on the couch, wide-eyed and looking stunned. I came to sit beside her. We were absolutely silent for a while. _Deathly_ silent.

"Are you?" She asked me eventually.

"Yeah." I answered quietly. "Are _you_?"

Her answer came in the form of sudden and hysterical tears. That was a yes. She curled into herself, burying her face in her knees. I gave her a loose hug and pressed my nose against her shoulder.

"Hey, Rose." I whispered as soothingly as possibly. "It'll be okay."

She didn't answer, she just shook her head. I understood why she had reason to be devastated. She didn't have a Jasper like I did. She didn't have two parents who would eventually get over it and be there for her.

She had Caius, who had not so much as glanced at her since the night they broke up. She had a very traditional father, who would more then likely not take too great to this news. She was virtually alone now.

I felt my heart starting to throb for her, but I had no idea what to say.

---------------

We called Jasper and told him to come over to my house as soon as he dropped Carlisle off. It didn't take him long to come through the front door.

His curious face flickered with apprehension the second he saw his sister's puffy red eyes and chalky skin. He came and stood in front of us, looking directly at Rosalie. "What's going on?"

Rose and I had come to an agreement. She wouldn't tell Jasper about me as long as I helped her break her news. Rose held out her hand. He took it gently and was pulled down to sit in between us.

His curious blue eyes looked directly at me. I nodded to Rosalie, who was about to speak. She took a deep breath and started, "So, Jasper."

Suspicion etched deeply across his face. "So, Rosalie?"

"There's something I realized we've never talked about." She started confidently. He nodded once to invite the conversation. Taking a deep breath to steady herself she asked, "What are your thoughts on being an uncle?"

"Oh." He answered, sounding caught off guard. "Well I know you want kids and everything… But I guess I never really thought about it."

"You should think about it." Rosalie prompted. "Right now."

She was losing her collected confidence. Her _eyes_ looked nervous, and her entire body was very, very tense. She shivered once and guiltily looked away from Jasper. I attempted to offer my support. "I think you'll make a great uncle."

Rose shot me a grateful look. I had done it for her. I didn't say _you'd_ I said _you'll_. He was smart, he'd catch it.

And he did.

"Caius's?" He asked scathingly. He looked torn between hoping it was- because that meant Rosalie only had one partner; and wishing it wasn't- because... that made it Caius's.

"Yeah." She whispered sadly, looking dangerously close to tears again.

"So, let me try and get this straight." Jasper mused aloud, his voice eerily quiet and seeping with danger. "He preys on you _right_ after Emmett hurts you; he practically forces you to sleep with him, only to leave you once it was done; and now you're stuck with his one-night-stand demon spawn?"

The protective flare that rippled across her face, though her voice was rather weak, shocked me. "It's not demon spawn, Jasper. It's just a baby."

I suddenly felt myself becoming indignant right along with Rosalie. It was not like the fetus chose who its sire was! It was not like the unborn child growing inside of Rosalie asked to be conceived. I knew my rage was building because of my own fear. Jasper didn't look any sort of happy about being an uncle. What would he do when I told him he would be a father in seven and a half months?

"Jasper, you idiot." I snapped furiously. "Don't call it that! And don't you _dare_ make her feel bad! This is not her fault. Do you think she wanted this?"

Jasper glanced at me, looking both startled and frightened. If he argued back, we were going to get into our first official fight. I was not in any way, shape, or form going to let him convince me otherwise. All children were precious things, no matter what. _Not_ demon spawn.

Something in my defiant glare seemed to overpower the emotions in him. I watched the resentment towards Caius, the fear for Rosalie, and the shock over the situation in general slowly melt out of his eyes. After a few long seconds, it was replaced with a soft acceptance. Jasper was not stupid. He knew that this was nobody's fault in particular, and that it was too late to try and change it. What happened had happened, and Rosalie would never get rid of her baby. _His_ niece or nephew.

He hung his head and mumbled, "I'm sorry, Rose. I didn't mean it." His voice was very sincere. She forced a smile for him, a silent acceptance of his apology.

"Well," I attempted to urge the conversation back towards the hoped-for goal of supportiveness, "What do you think about being an uncle, Jasper?"

He rubbed his eyes and sighed, sitting silently for a few long seconds. After him a moment of thought, he promised, "I'm here for you, Rose, no matter what."

A few tears, of happiness I would assume, fell from her eyes. She hugged him, and they held one another in silence for a long time.

"Will you tell dad with me later?" She asked quietly after a while.

Jasper grimaced, which went totally unseen by her, but instantly agreed, "I guess so."

* * *

**Teaser for c27.5:** I shook my head impatiently, losing my temper faster than usual.

_All reviewers who say more than "update soon" or "great chapter" will get an extended teaser! _


	42. Chapter 28: Eruption

_**Chapter Twenty-Seven and a Half**_

_**Jasper's POV**_

* * *

I swear I could hear Rose's heart thundering in her chest as I sat beside her on the couch, supportively holding her hand in my own. The front door opened, and Gregory came into the house. He glanced suspiciously at our forlorn faces and asked warily, "Did someone die?"

_Not yet_. "Daddy, I have to talk to you." Rosalie answered in a sad whisper.

I felt Rosalie shiver as her father crossed the room. He turned the armchair so it was facing us, and he sat down, looking directly at Rosalie. I gave Rose's hand a supportive squeeze.

She took a deep breath. "You're not going to like this, daddy. I didn't plan for it, but it isn't a bad thing."

Well, that was step one. We looked up online on how you're supposed to tell your parents about something like this. The Planned Parenthood website said to try and soften the blow, but make it clear the mother was supportive of the idea. I glared at Gregory with blunt viciousness on my face. I was prepared to become mean if he did.

"Rosalie, what's going on?" Gregory asked Rosalie in a small voice.

_Just say it. Do it fast, like a band-aid. It'll hurt less. Come on, Rose. You can do it!_

"Daddy, I'm pregnant." She barely managed to whisper. Gregory's eyes widened, and he got even paler. _Ghost_ pale, almost.

"With what?" He asked stupidly, too confused to think straight.

I shook my head impatiently, losing my temper faster than usual. "With a baby, you idiot. With what _else_, a kitten? She's pregnant with someone's baby."

His pale face flushed an angry red the second I spoke. The two of us had been going at it a lot more recently, and it was clear we had reached a breaking point with one another.

"Shut up, Jasper," he snapped aggressively. "I don't need your crap right now."

I growled under my breath.

His fierce violet eyes snapped onto Rosalie, and he demanded, "What the hell is _wrong_ with you, girl? Have you gone stupid? You're not even eighteen! What in the name of God's green Earth were you thinking?"

I could see tears sting her eyes at his anger. Of all the people we knew, we had expected her own father to be here for her. _I_ expected him to be disappointed, but never so angry. Both fear and severe hurt started to shine in Rose's eyes.

"I d-didn't think that th-this would happen." she stammered an answer. "It was only o-once!"

_Once is better than _my_ record._

He shook his head and growled, "My daughter! Of all the girls in this town, I never expected _my_ daughter would become a whore!"

He sprang to his feet and stomped into the kitchen. The tears that had welled in Rosalie's eyes at his comment began to fall relentlessly when she heard something in the kitchen shatter as he threw it against the wall.

I frowned and pulled her into a hug, petting her hair. Fury, such a fury, began to rocket through my entire body. I was a volcano, and I always have been. For so very long, my molten hot magma has been building. All the comments, all the glares, and all the cold shoulders- everything Gregory did that hurt me only built up that pressure more and more. _This_ was making my blood boil. The magma began to leak from the cracks that were forming.

"Rosalie, go upstairs." I whispered harshly. I felt her shiver again for a much different reason than before. She peeked up at me, sounding terrified when she tried to speak. "Ja-"

I cut her off, snapping fiercely, "_Go upstairs._"

Her bottom lip quivered, and she darted up the stairs, not shutting her door. I kicked the half closed kitchen door open. It slammed loudly against the wall. That sure got the bastard's attention.

He turned to me, narrowing his eyes. I raged, "What the hell is _wrong_ with you? You can't just brush your own daughter aside!"

His eyes flashed furiously. "Jasper, I told you to shut up."

_Shut up, Jasper. Do this, Jasper. Don't do _that_ Jasper. Why can't you just knock it off for once? Stop causing trouble. Can't you just listen to me?_

_I've heard it all before._

"Like I've ever cared what you told me to do? Why should I care?" I asked with a quiet seriousness.

He snorted in annoyance. "Because, even if you are an inconsiderate brat, I'm still your father."

A white-hot rage started to brew in the pit of my stomach. I sounded as demented as I felt when I insisted, "No you're not." A father would never do the things he did. A father wouldn't scream at me. He wouldn't shove me into being a person I would never be. He would never make me hurt or loathe so strongly I was swept away by a floodgate of tears, and then just pretend it never happened.

"You don't even care about me!" I accused acidicly.

_The magma began to stir under my flesh. It began to press against the rocky walls I concealed it in._

It was painful to see how stunned Gregory looked with that declaration. "How could you say something like that?" He asked with honest innocence. I knew that some deep part of him tried to be a good father. Some part of him was hurt as much as I was by all this tension. It was too damn bad he fucking sucked at being a parent.

For once, the blistering frigidness in my voice wasn't a mask; it was real. "Because it's true."

_My walls would not crack. I was tired of letting my frustrations come out in tiny, unsatisfying spurts. The lava continued to pulsate within me._

"No, it's not!" He wailed defiantly. "I've tried, Jasper. It isn't my fault you're just as stubborn as your mother-"

_Clouds of billowing ash._

"Don't talk about her!" I interrupted immediately. The hysterical edge in my voice was frightening to even me.

This argument was quickly taking a bad spiral. Gregory's anger towards me was just the rock that caused the avalanche. I was finally too full to hold anything more in. I was about to crumble- I was _crumbling_- and my stepfather was going to be buried under everything I've been stuffing away for all these years.

I kicked a table chair across the room and screamed, "Don't you _dare_ talk about my mom! You don't have a right to! What did you even know about her?"

His mouth just fell open a little in shock. Quiet, timid, people-pleasing Jasper was having a freak out. Who could stand by unsurprised by that?

"Why did the very idea of mushrooms make her sick?" I asked furiously.

_Because her little brother is so allergic to them he almost died after eating one when he was six. Every time she looked at one, she remembered the image of him turning purple from __anaphylactic shock__. _He was silent. Strike one.

"Why was her lifelong dream the desire to publish a children's book?" I challenged him, my fury building.

_Because she wanted to make kids smile. She loved the pure, untainted smile of a child. _Again, he was silent, and now looking acutely uncomfortable. Strike two.

One last chance. "What was her favorite rock?"

_It's a __jasper__, you fuckhead! She named me after it. The answer is literally glaring at you right in the face._ I bet you could guess that he was, again, silent.

He had not even known anything about her. Her scariest childhood memory. Her biggest future dream. Her absolute favorite stone in the whole world. The prick didn't know a single thing that had really mattered to her.

"What _was_ she to you, then?" I shouted in outrage. "Just another person in your life to hurt?"

Despair flashed in Gregory's eyes, and he wailed, "I loved her!"

_Boom._

"You killed her!" I screeched in retaliation. I felt my blood run cold with horror as I realized it at the same time as him. As three words I never allowed myself to even consider saying rang hollowly thought the kitchen. It was the very reason I just couldn't stop myself from being mad all the time. The reason I resented Gregory so very much.

My voice broke as the tears started flowing. "You _killed_ her! It was your fault she was in Forks and was offered the position on the sub crew. She didn't want to do it, she told me so."

'_Are you going to take the job, mom?'_

'_Probably not, honey. I don't want to work again right now. I want to spend time with you and your sister.'_

I felt blackness scorching my heart. "_You_ pushed her into it, and she would have _never_ said no to you. If she never met you, she would be alive. Then maybe, I would still have someone who could love me."

For the longest time, the entire house was silent except for the sound of my crying. Gregory looked totally heartbroken when he realized what had been bothering me for so long. The simple fact that I had never gotten over it. I never sought out help like he did. I was forced to retreat into myself and let all my bitter, sad emotions brew because I had nobody I could trust enough to talk to. Nobody who could actually love _me_.

"Jasper," Gregory whispered, his own eyes starting to water. "It wasn't my fault. Nobody could have known it would explode. Nobody could have helped it. It was an accident."

"That's not the point. It still happened." I sobbed shakily. "She's dead. And every time you look at me, every time I do _anything_, you compare me to her- and I'm not good enough for you. I'm _not_ her, Gregory. I never will be."

"Oh, Jasper." He whined sadly. "Why didn't you ever tell me you felt this way?"

A powerful wave of an emotion I never felt before bubbled forward. Surged forward with the speed and might of a hurricane. I hit the wall and declared, "Because _I_ _hate you_. I don't want your help. I don't need _your_ love. I just _hate_ you."

I fled the kitchen and raced into my room, slamming the door so hard it both hurt my hand and shook the entire wall. I collapsed onto the ground and just lay there, unable to stop the tears that practically spouted out of me and soaked my arms.

I heard the door open, and Rosalie crouched down beside me. She set her hand on my shoulder and whispered, "Jasper?"

I ignored her. I pretended I couldn't hear her concerned voice. Couldn't feel her gentle, reassuring touch. I refused to let her in. I refused _her_.

"Jasper, please talk to me." She whined. She sounded like she was crying. For once, for the very first time ever, I was physically incapable of caring about her. For once, I cared only about myself. I knew only myself, and how lost and miserable I felt.

After a long time, having not calmed down even a little, Rosalie grew panicked. "You stay here, okay Jasper? I- I'm calling Bella. Do you want to talk to Bella? Do you want to see her?"

_Bella_.

Suddenly, the darkness seemed a little grayer. Just at the mention of her, I felt some light returning to me.

It took all the effort I had, every little shred of energy in my body, to whisper through my tears, "Yes."

* * *

**Teaser for c28:** I smiled, my voice gentle when I pointed out. "You didn't call her Rosalie."

_All reviewers who say more than "update soon" or "great chapter" will get an extended teaser!_

(I just saw New Moon. :D)_  
_


	43. Chapter 29: Dormancy

**Jasper's POV**

* * *

Time seemed to stop for me, after a while. A day could have passed. An hour could have passed. All the time in the world, and no time at all. I couldn't vouch for anything. I had shut down. I didn't even know what was going on.

My mind was jolted back into awareness when a hand came to rest on my side, gently rubbing back and forth. "Jasper, are you okay?"

_Okay_. I spat upon the word. What even was "okay" anymore? For me, for her, for anyone?

"Jasper?"

I opened my eyes, feeling my body jolt with such joy to see Bella was actually kneeling beside me. I knew she would come.

Was I okay, she wanted to know. I would guess, by the raw misery throbbing in my heart, that I could answer _no_ to that question.

Bella tugged on my arm, helping me sit up. I latched onto her, hugging her tightly- hoping I wasn't hurting her. My face burrowed into her neck, and I started sobbing.

I heard her muttering with Rosalie, but I could not make out the words. My ears only heard distorted echos.

I never wanted to let her go. Now that I had her here; now that she was holding me and I was holding her; I felt safe, and warm, and real. Complete. I didn't know how to tell her that, though. I didn't know enough words to paint her the picture I wanted her to see. Would I ever be able to make her understand that she was more to me than anyone else ever would be?

The light chasing away the darkness of my life. The solid ground I needed to fall onto. The doctor that knew how to heal my wounded soul. Bella made me feel _loved_, and I had not felt that way for a very long time. I had felt a lot of other things, though.

Angry, because of Caius. He played my sister and now she was left to suffer the backlash without him.

Overwhelmed, because of Rosalie. She wanted me to do something I was not ready for, and I _would_ do it because I would not watch her fall again.

Useless, because of Carlisle. He was better for Rose than I could ever be, and he didn't even have to try.

Worthless, because of Edward. He was hurting himself, and I was too afraid of harming him more to step up and try to help him.

Ashamed, because of my mother. I knew that she was frowning down upon me right now. That she would never have been proud of what I was becoming.

Regretful, because of Alice. I had wanted to save her. I never wanted to have to watch her forget who she was just because she wanted me to. I never wanted to have to live in a world where she was not my friend.

Bitter, because of Gregory. He made me hate myself for hating him.

Lost, because I had spent so long trying to be everything for everybody else, that I didn't even know who I really was anymore.

For a long time, Bella just held me and let me cry. She let my hot tears wash forward, and my bitter whimpers tell her the story of my despair. She patiently and lovingly listened to the sad tale.

Soon, I came to that point where my mind was too weary to _allow_ tears to flow anymore. The point where my chest felt too heavy and my head too light- at the same time- for me to do anything but just sit there and try to remember to breathe.

As soon as my erratic behavior had calmed down a little, Bella patted my back gently. Her voice a soothing whisper when she assured me, "It's okay, Jasper. I'm here now. I'm here for you, honey."

It was okay, because she was here for me. Because she had come when I needed her the most. She would never hurt me. She would always understand. She was the only thing, the only person, I needed anymore. She was Bella, and I was Jasper. It was that simple with her. That was what I needed most, and she knew it.

The deepest parts of my heart felt totally content just staying like this.

Hugging her on my bedroom floor, sharing her warmth and breathing in her soft scent. Feeling her arms wrap around me like she was protecting me from harm. Acknowledging her soft lips on my forehead because she was trying to get closer to me. Pretending that we were alone somewhere, that just the two of us existed, and such things like pain and sorrow did not exist in _our_ world.

I wanted to let myself become totally lost in her and forget about everything else. I couldn't, though, because the deepest parts of my heart were not the _only_ parts.

The other ones were telling me to get out. Telling me that I couldn't be here anymore. This house, this life, that held so many hurtful memories for me. I needed to flee, even if it meant I had to leave Rosalie behind.

They told me, too, that it was time I let go of her, because I couldn't keep holding onto my sister. I needed to let myself find something sturdy in Bella. I couldn't cling to Rose anymore. If I never let her go, she would never let me go, and she would never let herself hold onto anyone else.

We both needed to move on eventually. Everyone did. It was part of the circle of life. The transition between adolescence and adulthood. I was ready to take those steps, if Bella would take them with me.

My throat was rough from my previously shed tears as I plead, "Take me somewhere, Bella. Anywhere. Please?"

I would follow her off the end of the Earth, if the Earth happened to be flat and that were possible of course. If she asked me to come, if she told me to go, you could find me there.

I forced my eyes open, looking up at the face of my angel. She smiled down at me, looking just as heart broken as I felt. Seeing me hurt made her hurt. If my heart wept, hers would sit down beside it and cry, too.

She really _did_ care about me, to be on that sort of emotional level with me.

"We'll go back to my house." She decided, her voice soft. "Do you want to go there, Jasper?"

Anywhere was better than here. If Bella were with me, absolutely anywhere would have been okay with me. And I meant that, too.

I clasped her hand in mine, putting my entire faith and trust into her when I accepted. "I want to go there, Bella. I just want to get out of _here_."

The look of understanding on her face made me feel fractionally better than I had before. Just the simple light of knowing in her eyes, making it clear that she knew exactly what was on my mind without even having to ask me, was already starting to try and heal my spirit.

I was suddenly very glad that Isabella Swan was igneous.

------------

Chief Swan gave us a very unhappy look when we entered the house, but Bella did not give him the chance to disapprove. She simply told him I needed to stay here for a while, and she'd talk to him about it after dinner. A half of a second later, I was ushered up the stairs and into her room.

We were now cuddling on her bed. I held her close to me, never wanting to let go. Her cheek was against my chest, and mine was on her forehead.

The silence was bothering me. I'd spent a good portion of my life in silence. I was tired of it. I asked her, "What were you doing earlier?"

"Arguing with Mike on the IM's." She answered me.

Mike. That was the blonde kid from her English and gym classes. "What were you arguing about?"

"Boo Radley of _To Kill A Mockingbird._" Bella scoffed, "He said that Radley was not symbolic in the story!"

"What?!" I gasped. "Has he _read_ the book?"

"That's exactly what I asked!" She giggled.

No wonder she was always complaining about this kid. Edward didn't seem to like him, either. How narrow minded could you be?

"Are you doing a report on that book?" I asked her conversationally. We read it sophomore year, but every teacher was different.

"No. We're supposed to be writing an essay on _The Grapes Of Wrath._ We got distracted." She answered casually.

I mused aloud, "Carlisle reminds me of Jim Casey."

After a small pause, she laughed once. "We can only hope he doesn't die."

"We can only hope." I echoed. I was serious, of course.

After a few seconds of non-awkward silence, she poked me in the chest. "I have another thing to cross off my list."

"What list?" I asked, slightly startled. I hadn't known about any lists of hers. Why was I just hearing about that now?

"The never-have-I-ever list."

_Ohh_.

"And what can you cross off?" I asked, feeling my stomach knot nervously. I didn't really remember every question that was asked…

"I swore in front of dad." She filled me in. "He took Rose's call earlier. I was fighting with Mike."

I smiled, my voice gentle when I pointed out. "You didn't call her Rosalie."

A few seconds passed before Bella whispered, "No, I didn't."

My smile broadened a little bit. It made me deeply happy to know that there was even just a little hope the two of them might be able to become friends. I didn't want them to be at odds anymore. No more glares, or sharp remarks. The two ladies in my life should be able to get along. It was just better that way.

I found it secretly comical that Bella was set on accomplishing the things said at that stupid game. A flare of dominance rippled through me, and I quite firmly demanded, "You're _never_ kissing Caius."

Bella laughed once, sounding scornful. "I'd never want to." She added as an afterthought, "I wouldn't want to kiss a girl, either."

"Ever kissed your mother?" I asked her.

"Yes." She answered without having to think.

I glanced down at her. She looked up at me curiously. I smirked. "If we void Caius, you officially complete the never-have-I-ever list."

A few seconds passed, and Bella grinned. "I didn't even think about my mom! Why didn't Tanya or Rose take a shot, though?"

I sighed sadly. "Tanya's never liked either of her parents. Rose's mom… well, we don't even know what the story is. Gregory refuses to talk about her. We don't even know what her name is."

"Oh." Bella said smartly, her innocent, brown eyes wide.

We were both quiet again. I suppose it didn't bother me that much. We never had been huge on talking when we were together, anyway. I sort of liked it this way. I liked knowing that we could be happy just being in the presence of the other. Not needing words to pass between us.

After a while of brooding about _why_ I was here, I felt the urge to know a few things. "Hey, Bella?"

"Yes, Jasper?"

"What's your scariest childhood memory?"

Bella looked up at me again, her eyes wide with wonder. I frowned and pled, "Will you tell me? I'll answer all the questions you ask me, I promise."

I needed to know. I needed to know her, and what made her who she was. I had to have those pieces of her become a part of _me_.

"I was ten the last time I came here to visit my dad." She started. "I'd come two weeks every summer. We'd mostly hang out in La Push. I was with Jacob Black and Seth Clearwater. They were eight and six."

I was studying her face closely as she relived the memory. Her eyes were very distant as she continued. "We were just playing in the forest, trying to catch a baby rabbit. We lost Seth, and instead of finding our dads, we tried to look for him ourselves. All three of us ended up separated, and it was getting dark.

"I'm still not sure if it was a wolf, a coyote, or a dog, but something howled. I thought about how I was supposed to be watching the smaller kids and how they could be in danger. I didn't know where _I_ was, and I was scared. I don't think I've ever cried more than I did that night."

"So who found you?" I asked her, feeling sympathetic. I've been lost in the vast forests around here with Edward before, but we had never cared too much. We were boys, though. It was in our genetic make up not to care.

"Seth's older sister Leah and her friend Sam." Bella reported. After a second, she sighed, diverting her attention onto me. "What's yours?"

"I was ten, too." I informed her. It had been less than a month before my eleventh birthday, but that was not important information. "Rose and I were splashing around in a creek that's near the house."

Bella would never had known about it, because we never went to it anymore. She was about to learn why, too.

"I had floated out into the deeper part of the stream, and called her over to look at some fish that were on the edge. I didn't know she couldn't swim, and she didn't know the water was a drop-off over there."

Bella's face got a little paler as she guessed where this was headed.

I sighed, shaking my head. "The current pulled her right under. She was just _gone_. I dove after her and got her back a few yards down stream. When I pulled her out, she wasn't breathing."

"Did you have to do CPR?" Bella asked nervously.

I shook my head, shrugging a little. "I didn't _know _CPR. I was ten. I just did what they did on TV and hit her chest a few times. The water came up, and she started to cough."

An eerie, and totally _not_ comfortable quiet settled around the room. Who wanted to think about traumatic things like your sister almost dying, or thinking you led your two younger friends to a wolf-induced death?

I attempted to distract us. "What is your biggest dream for the future?"

"I never gave the future much thought." She admitted. "It's always been a day-by-day thing for me." I waited a few seconds for her to give it some thought, but she just shrugged. "You tell me yours."

"Mine is lame. I want to go back _home_," I knew she would know I meant my house in Hoquiam, not the one here in Forks. "And I want to learn archery. My mom said it was my dad's favorite past time. I asked her once why we had a bunch of holes on the tree out back."

"I don't think that's lame at all." Bella whispered, smiling at me. I couldn't stop myself from smiling back. I didn't _want_ to stop myself from smiling back.

I kissed her, our lips brushing tenderly. Once we moved away, she looked a little startled, but her eyes were glowing.

I felt myself burning with intensity, and I whispered, "My favorite rock in the _entire world_ is the snowflake obsidian."

She blushed the slightest bit and countered, "Mine is, and will always be, diorite."

We both smiled again. Nothing in the world had ever felt more right than lying on this bed with her, looking into her eyes.

"Jasper," she asked suddenly, "Do you love me?"

A huge part of me was afraid of love.

I had loved my dad, and even though I can't remember him well, I know that it hurt to lose him at first when he died. I had loved my mom more than the world, and her death killed a part of me that I would never get back. Trying to love Gregory only damaged me. Letting Rosalie in made me become a needy person. Wanting Alice the way I had stabbed me right in the heart.

But this was Bella. And that was all I needed to tell myself.

"Yeah." I answered her quietly, surprising _myself_ with the soft emotion that was in my voice. "I do love you, Bella."

Her face lit up, and a few tears welled up in her eyes.

They rolled down her cheeks, but I kissed them away before they hit her pillow.

* * *

**Teaser for c29:** Looking at him right now it was no longer hard to believe that his aggression got him booted out of three schools.

_All reviewers who say more than "update soon" or "great chapter" will get an extended teaser!_


	44. Chapter 30: Scientists and Diamonds

The next morning it was Monday. Jasper and I both skipped school. He woke up so depressed he would barely speak to even me, and I had stayed up half the night arguing with dad so I was too dead with tire.

Dad had still been under the assumption that I was with Carlisle. Out of nowhere, he was told that some kid he doesn't particularly like was going to be sleeping in my room indefinitely. I had to put of quite the vicious "non" argument to convince dad that the only way to get rid of Jasper would be to toss us both onto the street.

We were a package deal now.

Early Monday night Rosalie and Carlisle stopped by the house. I had talked to Rose on the phone. They had most of Jasper's stuff with them. His chess set, his rock collection, and almost all of his clothes. He was unofficially moved into my bedroom now.

Carlisle, being Carlisle, had taken it upon himself to collect our homework for us so we didn't fall behind for missing one day. It was a typical, sweet gesture that reminded me to why was probably my brother in a past life.

We _did_ go to school on Tuesday, which was today. Things went as they usually did up until lunch time. That was when, for the very first time since I was absorbed into the Whitlock-Hale team, that the whispers being mutedly tossed around the table had a rather negative tone to them.

Due to the day I joined aforementioned team, I had actually become hearing-sensitive to the word "slut". It was what had started the whole explosive drama that was still not even close to being combed through between everyone. Because of this, I cut off mid sentence while talking to Jasper when I heard that word attached to Rosalie's name said somewhere behind me.

Jasper and I both glanced warily at her. She was extremely focused on the book she reading, and paid neither of us any attention. That meant she heard it, too.

I did not even have to stop and wonder what had gotten this rumor floating around again. Before I could do so much as blink, Emmett had flung himself into Carlisle's usual chair- between myself and Rose.

"You're pregnant?" he asked loudly, looking something along the lines of horrified.

_Wow, that was some grand use of discrepancy right there McCarty!_

This fifth of the lunch room fell totally silent. I suppose that was an answer to what the rumors were all about. Someone had found out about Rosalie, and our school mates disagreed with the idea. As if their opinions actually mattered.

"Oh, so we're talking again all of the sudden?" Rosalie asked with a harsh bitterness in her voice, seeming to totally miss what the actual question had been.

I understood her flare of resent. I'd come to learn that Rosalie met Emmett when she was three. Fifteen years of friendship shattered over something as stupid as what they had fallen out over was bound to foster a powerful sort of loathing.

Emmett, apparently, understood as well. His eyes flashed with regret and his face softened. "I'm getting tired of us not talking, Rose. We used to tell each other everything."

She turned her head away from him, as stubborn as ever. I could tell, and it shocked me to realize I could, that she was just being defensive because she was hurt. I could see layers of pain piled in her eyes.

"I have new people to talk to." She whispered half-heartedly. I figured that referred to me and Carlisle. "More mature, trusting, _loyal_ people."

Jasper and I both glanced at Emmett. Rosalie was a complex person. There were many, many different elements to her that made her who she was. I was more than positive that each person sitting at this table right now owned certain parts of that periodic table. None of the three of us could ever fully understand Rosalie.

However, that did not mean Emmett would have to lose knowledge of those elements just because he abandon the intricate science that was Rose for a while. We all knew that, and Jasper and I were waiting to see what he was able to do with what he knew.

It was sort of fun. It was like watching someone messing with an atom. It could split and explode, or it could change it's energy form and do what you wanted it to.

Emmett scooted his chair closer and leaned towards her. He wagged his eyebrows and asked quietly, "But are any of them even _a ninth_ as awesome as me?"

Rosalie rolled her eyes as a chuckle escaped her. Emmett smiled, looking triumphant. The two halves of the Earth had finally been gravitated back together. The healing process could now begin that the center was united.

Shaking her head slightly Rosalie decided, "Fine. You can talk to me again, but only because my life lacks serious awesomeness."

"Good!" He cheered. "Now what's all this nonsense about you having a _baby_? Who the hell did you piss off this morning to get that rumor started?"

Her favorable mood flickered into nervousness at that question. "Uh, well… It's not just some rumor, Emmett."

Emmett just sat there for a few seconds, staring blankly at her. He seemed to be trying to decide if she was kidding or not. Rosalie shrugged, looking more miserable then she had in a while. She whispered quietly, "I'm pregnant, Emmett."

"_What?!_" He bellowed, causing everyone at the table to jump and many, many sets of eyes to turn back onto us. He was going to cause a scene. Wonderful.

"Emmett!" Rosalie hissed, shaking her head disapprovingly.

He ignored her, his entire body tensing. "W-who's is it? How did it even _happen_?" A half of a second passed, and the large boy scowled. He asked in a low and threatening voice, "Rosalie, were you attacked? You have to tell somebody!"

Jasper rolled his eyes. I couldn't help but silently agree with him. Emmett was blowing this _way_ out of proportion.

Rosalie set her hand on his huge arm and plead, "Emmett, calm down. It's not like that!"

Several moments passed before Emmett's body relaxed. His eyes widened a little and he asked again, "So, who's _is_ it?"

My friend just looked away, closing her eyes and shaking her head. It was painfully obvious that she didn't want to even _think_ about Caius, let alone tell her over-protective Rottweiler of a friend that the unfriendly guy was the father of her child.

Emmett misinterpreted the head shake. He gasped, his volume level- again- much too loud for this private conversation. "Don't you even know who it is, Rose?"

"Emmett!" A sharp and commanding voice demanded the attention of the boy before any more questions that seriously ruined Rosalie's honor could be flung. I was shocked to the bone when I saw it was none other than Carlisle who had spoke.

Shock turned to horror when Carlisle grabbed Emmett's shirt and heaved him out of the chair he _always_ sat in. Emmett's eyes flashed with fury, and I was instantly afraid for my friend's safety. Rosalie even whimpered, her eyes wide as she bit her bottom lip.

Jasper's hand gently grabbed mine, though his eyes did not leave the scene. It was his way of silently assuring me one of two things. Either that he'd step in if he had to, or that he believed Carlisle could handle it. I felt myself relaxing considerably. If Jasper wasn't worried, maybe I shouldn't be either.

Carlisle's eyes blazed with something close to hate, and he shoved Emmett away from our table. His voice was frighteningly steely when he announced, "The baby is _mine_, Emmett. Do you have a problem with that?"

Looking at him right now it was no longer hard to believe that his aggression got him booted out of three schools. In fact, I felt a little stupid for not having realized how _very _simple it must have been_._

"What if I do?" Emmett asked angrily. It was obvious, though, by his body language that he was not looking for a fight with this fearsome half of Carlisle. His shoulders were tense, and his arms were loose at his sides rather than tight and battle ready. He had not even tried to close to gap Carlisle created between them.

Pulling his chair out and plopping into it, Carlisle glared up at him and scoffed, "Well get over it because nobody cares what _you_ think."

Intimidated by this sudden Mufasa behavior, Scar stumbled away and retreated over to his pack of hyenas on the other side of the room. The pride lands has a new King, and Jasper didn't look inclined to reclaim his throne.

In fact, Jasper and I were both staring at Carlisle with very wide eyes. Rosalie looked close to tears, and she just smiled. Carlisle had just done a very selfless and wonderful thing for her, and it was obvious she appreciated it beyond words. Carlisle set his hand on her thigh and leaned over to kiss her, quite a bit more passionately than anyone knew he was capable of!

I made a mental note to tell Jasper, as soon as we were alone, that Carlisle was chalk.

Chalk was a sedimentary rock, which meant it had layers. Though it was one of the world's softest rocks, chalk was formed in the ocean. A very, very intense pressure created it and was constantly trying to break it.

It did not break, though. Something inside of the rock made it too vigorous to allow hardship to force it to crumble. Day after day, it stood defiantly and quietly let it's self be subjected to that pressure.

And when it finally managed to break through the surface, it was a rare and incredibly useful substance.

_Clearly_, Carlisle had layers. His father was the ocean, constantly trying harder and harder to come down upon him and make him crumble. Despite everything Father Cullen did, Carlisle was able to stand tall and put on a brave face.

Nice guys were rare, and Carlisle was the nicest person I've ever met.

And now he had Rosalie, and he didn't need his dad. He could break through the watery surface and finally greet the fresh air.

Rosalie was his oxygen.

Just then, I suddenly understood. Rosalie may be many different elements to us, and those who knew her may be people who discovered certain parts of her. Never all of them. We didn't have the time to look for them all.

Carlisle's entire life could be dedicated to seeking out every single thing that made her who she was. Finding them, and learning to understand them. It was what they both wanted. Just seeing the way they stared, so trusting and adoringly, into one another's eyes made that very clear. He was her scientist.

Peridotite and chalk. Who would have guessed?

-----------

That same night, Jasper and I climbed onto the roof to look at the stars. We were lying on thick quilt, and his arm was wrapped around my shoulders. I shivered once; unable to not be cold as the night temperatures plummeted the closer it drew to midnight.

"You're cold." Jasper commented, glancing at me with wide, innocent eyes.

I smiled, scooting closer to him. "I'll be warmed if you hold me."

He chuckled, but sat up a moment later. I did the same, and rolled my eyes as he pulled off his sweatshirt. He shoved it at me and demanded, "Put it on. I'll be fine."

"Jasper," I shook my head, "I can just go into my room and get-"

He cut me off by kissing me. A moment later he whispered, "I want you to have it, Bella. You like it more than I do, anyway."

I felt my cheeks heating up and I took the article from him, slipping it on. It was warm, and it smelt just like him. Smiling contentedly, I snuggled up against him and he wrapped his arms around me. We both sighed happily at the same time, which of course got us both chuckling.

"Hey, Snowflake?" Jasper asked hesitantly.

I smirked. "Yes, Feldspar?"

I lifted my head, looking up at him curiously. He smiled a little and teased, "I thought you changed my nickname to Superman?"

"Oh, right." I agreed. "Start over."

Rolling his eyes good-naturedly he began again, "Hey, Snowflake?"

"Yes, Superman?" I giggled.

"You changed who I was." He pointed out for the second time. "I want to change you, too. I don't think you're _really_ snowflake obsidian."

Suddenly quite curious, I pulled away from him so I could turn to face him. Pulling my legs up beside me, I leaned on the slanted roof. I asked with a seriousness to match his eyes, "Okay, what made you change your mind?"

"You should be diamond." He stated with the utmost confidence.

"Why?" I asked, blinking in confusion. That was almost the opposite of obsidian!

He smiled at me, his eyes incredibly warm. "If I am diorite, you _have_ to be diamond. It's the only stone that's harder than diorite. You managed to crack me right open."

I let one small laugh escape me. "That does make sense. Too bad for both of us, though, that I don't own any rock except for the obsidian." I nudged him and added playfully, "And diorite, of course."

Jasper leaned in closer to me, so close that I could feel his warm breath on my throat as I looked up at him. His loving blue eyes dazzled even in the darkness, ad he whispered intensely, "Open your hand."

I found myself unable to look away from him as my fist uncurled and lay open. Jasper didn't look away from me, either, as his cold fingers found my palm. Something small and a light dropped into it, and Jasper quietly said, "Now you have a diamond, Bella."

I was incredibly startled by this declaration, and had to glance down at my hand. Resting harmlessly in my palm was a little golden ring. The slender band only highlighted the magnificence of the little white diamond embedded in it. I blinked, not even sure I'd have a coherent thing to say even if I were able to talk.

Jasper had no problem filling in the silence. He gently tilted my head up at him. Just like every other conversation we've ever had, he kept himself simple and to the point. He asked hopefully, "Will you marry me?"

Just like every other answer I've ever given him, I whispered, "Yes."

* * *

**Teaser for c30:** I sat upright, feeling the urgency in his tone making me anxious. "No, it's Bella. Edward, are you okay?"

_All reviewers who say more than "update soon" or "great chapter" will get an extended teaser!_


	45. Chapter 31: Panic

**_A/N:_**_ I am super sick, and you're lucky I even remembered to update! So don't expect fast or detailed replies to any reviews. :/_

* * *

The rest of the week whizzed by at an usually swift pace. I was proudly wearing my new ring, which Jasper had bought for me using the money he inherited from his mother.

Dad had seen it, of course. He was not blind. It didn't take a rocket scientist to notice the change in Jasper and myself, either. He was _always_ happy, and my face was starting to hurt from smiling constantly.

It was no secret that dad wanted to ask me about what was going on. He was starting to get super irritable, because there was never a moment Jasper wasn't cemented to my presence this whole week. I decided to suck it up and let him ask me what was going on later. I had to tell him eventually, right?

That thought made me cringe a little. The whole concept of telling people these things- parents in particular- recently only led to terrible outcomes. Rose told her dad about the baby, and it made Jasper crack. Carlisle's dad learned about it, too, and it led to World War Three.

News traveled fast in the town. Like wildfire speed, almost. The same day Carlisle publicly proclaimed the child as his own was the day Father Cullen confronted him about it.

Carlisle said he told his father as much of the truth as he was willing to, that he loved Rosalie and he was going to be there for the baby. Father Cullen got upset. The two of them started arguing with each other. Carlisle ended up storming out of the house and coming here for the night.

Things had been a bit smoothed over since then. General Hale helped, having a private conversation with Father Cullen that seemed to subdue the temperamental pastor. None of us even wanted to _start_ to wonder what was said within those fifteen minutes.

Dad was working today. Carlisle had taken Rosalie to meet Father Cullen, for whatever reason. Jasper was putting around with his rocks upstairs, and I was alone in the living room. I was lying on the couch staring out the front window when the phone rang. The shrill wailing scared the hell out of me as it shattered the absolute silence I had been in for a half hour.

I grabbed the phone off the base and clicked it on as I pressed it to my ear. I didn't have the chance to greet whoever it was. Edward's voice, highly distressed, bubbled into my ear the instant it was on.

"Jasper?" He asked hopefully. The word was shaky and broken, like he was crying. He demanded, "Is this Jasper?"

I sat upright, feeling the urgency in his tone making me anxious. "No, it's Bella. Edward, are you okay?" My voice quivered a little bit. I was getting the feeling that the answer would be no.

"I'm fine." He answered quickly. I felt my heart start to soar with relief, only to catch in my throat when he blurted, "But Alice isn't! S-she overdosed. I d-don't know what to do!"

_She overdosed_. Oh, God.

I tried not to panic. Edward was panicking; we both didn't need to. It would only waste precious time. I scraped together what I knew of First Aid and tried to sound reassuring. "Call 9-1-1. Don't move Alice; stay wherever you are."

I wasn't sure if the don't-move-the-patient rule applied to a situation like this, like it did for broken and bleeding people. From what I knew of Edward, though, he needed to be told _something_ or he wouldn't calm down.

Jasper must have heard me talking from upstairs. He had descended to the ground floor and was standing nervously at the edge of the couch.

"Are you coming?" His small, fearful voice begged. "I need someone here for her."

"We're coming right now. Where are you two?" I grabbed a pen and scribbled the address on my arm as he recited it. I reminded, "Call 9-1-1! And stay with her!"

I hung up the phone and scrambled to get my shoes on. Jasper's eyes were huge, and he asked, "9-1-1? What's going on, Bella?"

Shoving his keys at him, I promised, "I'll tell you as you drive. We have to go now."

----------

Jasper tore down the little streets of Forks, arriving at the dark and grim alley Edward told us to come to. Jasper was practically out the door before the car stopped, darting into the shadows. I flailed after him; skidding to a stop once I had reached Alice's side.

Jasper had fallen onto his knees to fret over Alice. Marcus, to my surprise, and not Edward was the fourth person in the alley. Jasper wasn't given time to worry over our friend. Marcus dictated another mission for him.

"Jasper, you have to stop Edward!" The older boy demanded. His voice, shockingly, sounded worried. I had never heard him say many words before, but from my knowledge, he never seemed to care about much. He was always so aloof with everyone.

"Stop him how?" Jasper asked, glancing down the alley. "What is he doing? Where _is_ he?"

Marcus half-shoved Jasper into standing up. "He ran after Peter the second I got here. Go find him, Jasper."

Jasper instantly turned and darted down the alleyway. I felt a jolt of fear clutch at me as I took a second to watch him go. What could Edward do that was so bad it would make both Marcus _and_ Jasper so scared?

Quite suddenly, Esme's gentle voice whispered in the back of my head. I heard Snippets of a conversation that was long since forgotten, for the most part.

_Peter is the last person she should have relied on. _

_Edward freaked._

_Your dad arrested him the next day because he beat Peter so bad he was almost hospitalized._

_Edward freaked..._

I might have taken a moment to worry about the situation, but then my mind caught up to my eyes. The instant I saw Alice, other thoughts were forgotten except for her.

She looked like death herself had come and cast a wicked curse upon her fragile little body. Her skin was pale and clammy as she shivered and sweated something fierce. Her eyes were open, but they were so cloudy and distant I was positive she wasn't seeing anything at all. Her breathing was shallow, and very sharp and erratic. It was almost like she was struggling violently to keep her lungs moving. Her cheeks were stained with old tears.

My heart felt like it was about to burst with horror when Alice moaned and fell unconscious, going totally limp in Marcus's arms. The siren from the ambulance was growing from its faint hum to a distant wail. It would soon be splitting the air with a deafening cry. Would it get here soon enough to save her?

I asked Marcus shakily, "Is she still breathing?"

"Yes." He answered absently as he started digging around her pockets. I wondered how he knew. Maybe he could feel it? He _was_ holding her against him.

"What did she overdose on?" I whispered, not entirely sure I actually wanted to know.

"There's this thing called a California Heart-Stopper." We both flinched at the title. "It's meth and morphine. The meth speeds the pulse up while the morphine slows it down. Taking both at the same time can actually explode her heart."

I felt tears pricking at my eyes as I clutched Alice's cold hand in my own. Why would she do this to herself? Why would she ever take these harmful things if they could so easily kill her? Once a person was dead they were dead. That was it. She'd never get the chance to regret her poor decisions and change how she was living. It was just a terrible thought.

I watched Marcus a bit curiously as he extract a little clear bag. Inside was a very fine powder resembling dust. It was a very, very pale shade of blue. Marcus scowled and jammed it into his pocket.

"What's that?" I whispered almost inaudibly, a little fearful of striking up further conversation with this boy. I still didn't like being in his presence. It was just so dark and over-powering.

"It's called Zombie Dust." He answered in a voice as quiet as my own; his eyes locked onto the girl in his arms. I felt my stomach clench at the name. He continued, "It's a mixture of cocaine and this little blue pill, Halcoin."

"Why did you put it in your pocket?" I asked, blinking in surprise. Was he going to keep it? Why wouldn't he throw it away?

"They will empty her pockets at the hospital." He answered, his voice as steely as the gray eyes that looked up to meet mine. "I won't let her go to jail for _him_."

"But you would?" I sounded as surprised as I was sure I looked. Marcus just frowned tightly and looked away. That was a yes.

Of course he was going to be searched once the cops, who were _very_ close now, arrived with the ambulance. He had a history with drugs, and Alice was dying in his arms. Peter was nowhere to be found. He would be a suspect, no matter what he told the police, until Peter and Edward were located.

He muttered something, but I couldn't hear it over the sirens. They had turned the corner. They were mere seconds away. With them came emergency help for my friend, his cousin. But with it was also Marcus's unfair fate. Why should he take the fall for a rat like Peter? Why should he throw his life away when all he wanted to do was look out for his cousin because nobody else would?

I didn't think before I spoke, my voice loud enough to be heard over the sirens. "Give me the bag."

His eyes widened, and he started to shake his head. I glanced fearfully over my shoulder and snapped, "Give me the damn bag, Marcus!"

My dad would never search me. Nobody would look at me, quiet and well-behaved little Bella. I would be allowed to slip through the cracks and absorb myself into the shadows. This way everyone would win, assuming Alice didn't die on us.

Marcus didn't have time to think before he shoved the little bundle at me. I thrust it deep into my pocket literally a fraction of a second before two EMT's dashed into the alleyway. Marcus and I were pried away from Alice as she was loaded onto the ambulance.

Deputy Mark asked Marcus for his jacket, while dad worried over me. I calmed him down and eventually got him to focus on his business, asking me for all the details I knew about the situation.

Forced to abandon Jasper, just for now, he agreed to take the two of us to the hospital a few minutes later so we could keep posted on our friend.

I hoped that it wasn't too late for her, even though I was secretly afraid that it was.

-----------

Alice was in the ER for five hours before she was stabilized, enough to move to an actual room, in the intensive care unit of the hospital. Esme's dad was the one assigned as her caregiver.

Esme herself was in the room with Marcus and me. Jasper was nowhere to be seen, but he had texted me and told me he was preoccupied with the legal system because of Edward. I didn't let myself worry about that. He could take care of himself.

Alice had regained consciousness fifteen minutes ago. Marcus was quietly filling her in on what she missed while Esme and I sat across the room and listened in grim silence. It was only a few moments later that Alec came stumbling through the door, tripping on himself in his haste.

His face went from worry to relief the instant he saw Alice was okay. She was weak and frail looking and would need recuperation time as well as medicine, but she was okay. He sighed under his breath, "Thank God."

Alice didn't even try to smile like she usually did. Round-eyed and frowning, I couldn't remember having ever seen her that pathetic. Sad- yes. Defeated- yes. But looking at her in this state was just heartbreaking.

Marcus scooted out of the way and leaned against the window as Alec crossed the room. He thoughtlessly climbed into the space beside Alice on the bed, fitting because he was rather small like she was.

His arms instantly wrapped around her, and he muttered, "_Damn it_, Alice, do you go around trying to give me heart attacks?"

The tiniest of laughs escaped her. "No. I was trying to give myself one this time."

Their eyes met and a deep frown fluttered across the boy's face. He asked seriously, "Were you really trying to kill yourself again?"

Alice shook her head, her eyes starting to shine with tears. "No," she whispered sadly. "Not this time."

"Then what happened?" Marcus asked gently, and all eyes darted onto Alice.

She lowered her head in shame, perhaps remorse. "Victoria gave the stuff to Peter. She... wanted to test it on me, before she had him sell it to people. Edward told me not to, but Peter said I would be fine. He said it was just a little stronger than usual."

She trailed off so she could wipe her eyes, which had started to stream tears down her face. Alec tightened his grip around her, and she pressed her cheek to his chest. He tried to soothe her in a low voice, "Cheer up, buttercup! You don't have to cry over _him_. You don't even have to think about him anymore."

"Yes I do." She whispered so quietly I was almost unable to hear her. "He'll come back, Alec. He always comes back. No matter what."

The two of them gazed deeply at one another, an unspoken conversation passing between their eyes. Alec promised her, "I'll keep him away from you, Alice. Just tell me that's what you want, and you'll never, _ever_ see him again."

Alice looked like she wanted to. The desperation and pain in her eyes made it sharply obvious that she _really_ wanted to tell him what he wanted to hear. Something was making her hold back. After a few seconds, she whined sadly, "I _can't_."

"Why not?" Marcus demanded, his voice sharper than anyone expected, as we all jumped a little. His eyes blazed with fury, and he asked in frustration, "Why the hell _not_, Alice? You have to stop this. He's going to kill you, you idiot. He almost did! Is that what you want?"

Flinching, Alice recoiled a little bit into her pillows like somebody had slapped her. Her cousin's harsh lesson in reality caught up to her quickly. She blurted in frustration, "How can I, Marcus? I can't hurt him."

The boys looked just as frustrated as she did. I felt it best to stay out of this conversation. I didn't know nearly enough to even attempt to comfort her or convince her that this was for the best.

Esme sighed a little bit. I fully expected her to offer the gentle words of support the rest of us were at a loss for.

Instead, to my utter shock, she snapped at her friend. Her voice was hard-edged and final. "You just have to."

Alice looked stunned. After a few seconds, she returned her head to Alec's chest and whispered, "Okay. Keep him away from me, Alec. I just want him out of my life." The room fell into a somber silence after that.

I felt myself simply oozing with surprise at Esme's sudden burst of… well, strength. She was always so shy and reserved, and here she was beating sense into Alice with four simple words while no other could.

Looking at her right now, I began to doubt that I ever saw the crumbling girl I had grown to know. Sitting with her arms crossed and eyes determined, she looked like the very stature of power. She was like a slab of marble, weak-edged because the people in her life had cut her wrong but still as unwavering and hard as stone in the center.

Before any more could be said, the door to the room was gently opened. Dad came trudging in, and he nodded to the bed. Two people scurried in after him- Alice's parents.

I had never seen her mother before, but it wasn't necessary so I could recognize her. She was the twin sister of Edward's mother. A little shorter, I suppose. I had met her father at the library two months ago.

I expected Alice to look happy. The one and only time I did see her interact with her father, a simple shoulder pat sent her to a state of near-euphoria. Whenever I saw her at her lowest points mood-wise, it was because they never seemed to care about her.

Naturally, my mind was sent reeling when happy seemed to be the furthest thing from Alice's mind. She glared at her parents with such spite and loathing I felt myself shiver.

"What are you two doing here?" She asked a bit meanly.

Both of her parents seemed surprised. Her mother answered, "We came to make sure you were okay!" Nodding, her father added, "We came as soon as we could."

Alice repeated softly, "As soon as you could." Pausing she asked, "But not as soon as someone called you?"

I understood her point instantly. She was admitted nearly six hours ago. What could possibly have held them up for such a long amount of time? Esme had come in less than a half hour after receiving a call from Marcus. Alec got here once Esme was able to contact him.

David and Mary shared an uncomfortable glance. Alice's father fumbled, "W-well, you know, we were at that book drive in Seattle. Dr. Platt said you were okay..."

It was frightening to look into Alice's eyes, as unforgiving and sinister as storm clouds just before a tornado hit. For a moment she looked wounded, but then the pain passed by her. It was blown away by the force of her hate.

She pointedly turned her head away. She asked in a voice that was simply dripping with acid. "Chief Swan?"

Dad seemed to jump into awareness, and he asked, "Yes, Alice?"

"I would like for you to remove David and Mary Brandon from my room." She dictated icily. She had every right to ask him to do this, too, because she was older than eighteen. "I don't want them to visit me. Keep them away from me."

Unable to protest, dad half-shoved them out of the room before closing the door. We heard muffled arguing happening outside, but it was quieted within a minute.

During this time, Alice had rolled fully onto her side, avoiding tugging the IV sending fluids to her arm. She totally relaxed into Alec's arms in what appeared to be an attempt to finally get comfortable and sleep.

"Finally." Marcus muttered under his breath. Alice gave no indication she had heard him, nor did she look back at the door. She just closed her eyes and seemed to shut out everything except for the presence of Alec, the boy who seemed set on becoming her knight in shining armor.

* * *

**A look into an interlude:**

Peter repeated my ominous promise so many years ago. "You said t-that you'd k-kill me, if I ever h-hurt her again."


	46. Edward's Interlude

_**The Project**_

_**Interlude -- Chapter Thirty and a Half  
**_

**_Edward's POV_  
**

* * *

I woke up in a bad mood. Glanced at the clock, it was 6:50. Well, damn, I would probably be late for school. I wondered if Tanya would pick me up if I called and asked her for a ride. I wondered if I actually wanted her to give me a ride.

Rolling out of bed, I slipped into some shoes and mussed my hair. While looking over my desk for my undone-homework-stuffed backpack, my eyes settled on the rock, which dominated the center of my desk. It was the only gift I ever allowed Jasper to give me for my birthday.

"_Come on, Edward! I picked it out __special__ for you and everything."_

_Sigh. Of course he did. "What for? It's just a rock, Jasper." _

"_It's a _sandstone_. You ARE this rock." He had glared at me, unhappy._

So I took it from him. He said we both had one now. I asked him why he thought I was the sandstone a few weeks later. If I had to look at it every day, I deserved to know why.

"_So, Jasper, what makes me the rock anyway?" _

_He laughed once. "You'd be mad at me if I told you."_

"_So? Tell me anyway."_

"_Well, it's sedimentary. That means it was made by strong pressure compacting several different stones and minerals together. It has a center layer different from the outer layers."_

_There was a pause. "And that's relevant?"_

_He smiled sadly. "Yeah, it is. You're the paler center stripe. Your dad is the pressure that crushed the other layers around you. It bottled who you were at first inside of what he wanted you to be." _

He was right, as usual. I had been mad at first. Only because I was horrified to realize he was right.. Terribly right. When I was little, I wanted to be a teacher one day. I loved learning so much, that I knew I should spread knowledge to other people somehow.

I got a little older, and dad stuck me into piano lessons. Mom was so happy to learn I was great at it. Dad smiled every time I played. Maybe I should have become a piano player, then, if that was what they thought was best for me.

We were fourteen when Jasper gave me the rock. I was a freshman. Dad started pushing me towards the military. He said that my intellect and fiery spirit could make me become an officer just like him. He said, '_Then_ you can make me proud, son.'

That sentence still bothered me. Did he mean that if I did not join the army and become an officer, he would never be able to look at me without feeling ashamed?

I had asked Jasper what he thought, and he freaked out. He told me that I needed to stop letting my father control my life. He called me weak, too weak to decide things for myself.

"_I _told_ you that your weakness was going to bring you down. Now other people are falling with you. This isn't about your damn pills, Edward; it's about _you_."_

Me.

It was about me.

My dad did live my life. I would break my hand off if he told me to. I jumped for him. I was totally bound to his will. Father's word was my very religion. I obeyed it. I lived it. I relied on it.

Every time he left, it made me feel so empty and lost. The man that kept me locked it in a small steel box and took those walls with him. I became water without a cup. I fell all over and made a huge mess when I was left to stand on my own.

I was spineless. I was needy. I was weak.

_Now you're bringing other people down with you._

_Other people._

_Other people. _

_Weak._

_Weak._

_Weak._

White, hot fury flashed through me, and I slammed the rock down against the desk. With a sick crack, it shattered, and the pieces of the glass, everything on it, began to tumble down to the ground. I sank to my knees and felt my chest heave with a great sob. With every item that hit the ground, I felt a piece of myself striking rock bottom.

_Car license._ My friendship.

_Pictures_. My mother and my family.

_Bee statue_. My pride.

_Books_. My education and hobbies.

_Music scores_. My future.

_Sandstone_. My identity.

_Every piece of glass_. My torn apart soul.

Who even cared anymore? What did anyone care about any of it? About _me_? I didn't care. Fuck it all, what was the point?

I didn't need friends or family. I didn't need to feel proud of myself if nobody else was going to. I didn't need schooling or skills, because I had no future. Souls were for people. I was not a person. I was just a nobody. I was nothing anymore.

Time slowed down dramatically the instant that little white pig hit the ground. I didn't even notice the stupid coins; I only saw one thing. I saw something that was small and fragile, something that needed to be cherished and protected, being carelessly dropped. The porcelain struck the ground, and it shattered into pieces. I made no move to save it. I let it break.

_Bubba Fred_. My cousin. My best friend. My sister. Alice.

She had needed me. Once upon a time, she felt as lost as I did now, and she reached out for me. I had been too afraid to let go of my own rock to allow her to find some solid ground with me. For the last _four years,_ I stepped back and watched her flounder and trip. I let the most important person in my life hit the ground and break.

I was weak. I did hurt other people. It was all my fault. Mine. All mine.

My mom had come into the room when she heard the desk break. She gasped when she saw me on the ground crying near a pile of glass. "Edward! Are you okay, honey? Are you hurt?"

No. I was not okay.

Yes. I was hurting.

Edward. I was no longer Edward. He had been a person worthy of his name. Someone with goals and a life. Someone who deserved a mother like her. A friend like Jasper. A cousin like Alice.

I _didn't_ deserve any of them. I was nothing.

I grabbed my backpack, shook glass off of it, and darted out of the room. I had to get away from this house. I had to flee...

I had to find help, or I was going to end up as agonized and lost as Alice.

-----------

That day was two months ago. Today was Monday. Tanya had been home sick, and Jasper... I was afraid to hunt him down during school and ask him the things I wanted to. How could I tell him he had been right? How could I shamelessly look him in the eye and beg him to help me like he always did? I couldn't. Pride wouldn't allow me to- if I even had any pride left.

I really was lost. I had nobody left for me. Nothing.

Today, right at this instant, I'd agree with anyone who said I had lost all my dignity. I was sitting on the floor of a cold, wet alley hugging my knees to my chest and staring at a brick wall. The rain, which I had noticed for the first time in two years, was soaking into my clothes. Was this something to be proud of? Angsting in a filthy, narrow alleyway and waiting for the merciless and unrelenting rain of Forks to wash my very soul away from me?

"Edward?" Alice asked gently as she sat down beside me. "What's on your mind?"

I shrugged, turning my head away from her. Guilt began to gnaw at my stomach. Because all the people in her life sucked, Alice was used to pain. She knew nothing but pain, having been living and breathing it since we were seventh graders or something. Of course, she would see I was hurting. And being who she was, of course, she would offer to be here for me.

She was a great person. She was willing to put everyone above herself. We all took advantage of that and stepped on her while she was down. I didn't deserve her kindness, so I just pretended she wasn't there.

"Alice!" Peter's voice echoed from the opposite end of the alley. I opened my eyes to see he had finally arrived, and he was holding something that looked quite suspicious. "Come over here," he demanded.

"No." Alice shot him down. "I'm busy, are you blind?"

She wasn't busy. It took effort to be busy, and Alice never wasted effort on me when I was acting unresponsive like this.

Peter's eyes flashed, and he snapped, "Do you always have to do that? Just get the hell _over _here and forget about him for a minute."

She wouldn't tell him to fuck off. She wouldn't tell him to stop being an ass and stop ordering her around. No, she was going to bite back her protests like the good little puppy he had trained her to be and heel upon command.

Sighing under her breath, she pushed herself to her feet and walked over to him. _Told you so_.

He handed her the little wrap. "Victoria just gave it to me. She said it's worth more than coke."

I snapped my head up, watching them with wide, disbelieving eyes. Alice asked casually, "What is it?"

Peter smirked. "It's a mix called a California Heart-Stopper. She says it's really hardcore, but you're used to that. Go ahead, and try it out for her."

I was mentally willing her to shove it up his nose and walk away. When did she start using again? What the hell? To my utter dismay, she opened the wrapper and curiously sniffed it.

I sprang to my feet and protested loudly, "Alice!" She jumped, looking guiltily at me as I stalked over there. "What are you doing, are you crazy? That shit has got to be dangerous." I demanded.

Peter disagreed. "Victoria wouldn't have given it to her if it was."

I glared at him, and he took a step back. "The words heart-stopper are in the _name_! Does that scream gumdrops and ponies?"

"No, but she might see them." He smirked arrogantly at me. I lurched at him. Alice's foot shot out in front of me, and I tripped, falling painfully onto my hands and knees.

I glared up at her. She was standing protectively in front of Peter, who smirked at me from over her shoulder. She was empowering his behavior, and she didn't even care to realize it.

Stupid bitch. Peter, not Alice.

I watched with desperate, hopeless eyes as she turned away from me to go and poison her body with more deadly substances.

-----------

I was sitting on the ground wallowing in myself again when a dull thud roused my interest. I lifted my head, horrified to see that Alice was on the ground and Peter was looking anxiously above her. Scrambling to my feet, I darted over there and shoved Peter aside, demanding, "What did you do to her?"

"Nothing!" He promised. "She just fainted."

Alice groaned, twitching a little bit on the ground. I instinctively grabbed her wrist and tried to find a pulse. I didn't need to count it to know it was _racing_. I could piratically feel her vein trying to leap out of her arm.

"Her heart is going way too fast." I reported, not finding the time to be accusing with him just now. I had never had any first aid training or whatever. I had no idea what to do with her. I glanced at Peter and asked, "How do we stop it?" He was the narcotics expert, not me.

He bent down and felt her forehead, frowning. Her big gray eyes seemed to pierce right into him. Flinching away he, too, started to panic. He wailed, "She's going to die!"

Horror seeped down to my bones like ice. "What? Why?"

"She over-dosed." He whispered, a thousand worlds of regret and despair in his burning amber eyes. His face turned a little green and then very pale. He hastily backed up, "I have to go."

I wanted to yank him back over here and make him help, but Alice's hands cut into my forearm and she started to breathe very heavily. I begged, "Help her, Peter! Come over here and do something!"

Tears started to stream down his face, and he shook his head. "No, I can't... I can't.... watch her die."

He shivered once and hurriedly walked away. I watched him go in shock. It wore off, replaced by a feeling of total helplessness as I glanced at my cousin. Tears of my own started to fall, and I yanked her cell phone out of her pocket.

Jasper would know what to do. He _always _knew what to do. Pulling the phone open, I fumbled over the letters and called Bella's house, knowing that he was going to be there.

-----------

Bella talked to me. I called the hospital, and then I called Marcus. The instant I saw his car, I set Alice against the wall and darted after Peter. He wasn't going to get away with this. He wasn't going to hurt Alice, risk her life again, and then just walk away like that.

He was going to pay.

Locating him was one of the easiest feats of my life; I could hear him yelling at Victoria on his phone not too far away. I turned the corner in time to see him throw the cellphone against the brick wall. It shattered, and he leaned against a building, starting to cry in what I'd assume was frustration.

Anger, such a fierce and overwhelming anger, surged through me. I growled, "Peter!"

Jumping, the small boy whimpered and backed away from me. This was a tragically close repeat to the last encounter we had over Alice. Him cornered between two walls, nowhere to run away to. It was the hallway of the school last time. I liked this setting better. The lightning that just illuminated the sky was great for dramatic effect.

"E-Edward, I d-didn't mean to hurt her." Peter uselessly attempted to defend himself as I stalked closer. "Victoria said-"

My fist cracked against his mouth before he could finish his sentence. He grunted as he was knocked back and his head hit the brick rather hard. I dug my fists into his shirt and held him at my mercy as he almost sank to the ground. "I don't give a fuck what _Victoria_ told you. _I_ told you it was dangerous!" I pointed out.

I shoved Peter backwards. He stumbled but managed to catch his balance. I could help him lose it again. My shin collided with his side, and I heard a few ribs snap. He cried out and skidded against the ground as he fell.

He coughed out a mouthful of blood and weakly wrapped his arm around himself. He begged, "S-stop! 'M s-sorry."

No, he wasn't sorry. He never had been, or he wouldn't have done everything he did to my cousin, the girl I loved so much I considered her my sister. He would want to protect her, not yank her under the water. He would have helped her when the rest of us didn't. But he ignored her. He used her and hurt her. He wasn't sorry at all, but he was going to be.

I delivered a sharp kick to his shoulder. He wailed as he was knocked onto his back. I set my foot on his chest and asked icily, "What did I tell you last time this happened, Peter?"

He started blubbering, shaking his head slowly. He didn't want to answer, because he was afraid to answer. I heaved him to his feet, ignoring his hands as they weakly tried to pry my clutch off of him. I shook him and demanded, "Tell me, Peter. Go ahead and tell me."

His speech slurred by his bleeding, swollen mouth- and a bit broken due to hyperventilation, Peter repeated my ominous promise so many years ago. "You said t-that you'd k-kill me, if I ever h-hurt her again."

"She's going to die because of you!" I wailed in despair. Would help come quick enough? Would the drugs running through her little body be held off long enough for them to help her?

"I didn't mean to hurt her!" He declared as he struggled against me again. I held firmly onto his shirt collar as I delivered another punch, hitting his cheekbone so hard it instantly started to bruise. I think I knocked him out cold, because his head fell forward and he didn't lift it back up. Blood was streaming out of his mouth onto my hand.

I knew I wasn't going to kill him. Yes, he did deserve to die. Bad people had no right to keep on living. It wasn't _my_ job to decide that, though. I didn't want to go to jail. This state had the death penalty. Besides, if karma wanted to get him back for everything he had done to Alice, then he'd fall off his roof or something.

I was loosening my grip on him when I heard someone shout my name. Instinctively, I glanced to the side. I flinched as a large fist cracked into my jaw and sent me flying onto my ass. Bleary-eyed, I watched Jasper catch Peter and lower him to the ground. Jasper had chosen Peter, over _me? _I knew I did the same at the new year, but that was different. He pushed me away. He hadn't wanted me anymore. I was never going to want my best friend out of my life.

"Edward, what did you do?" Jasper wailed, lifting Peter's wet shirt up to make sure his chest was still moving. "You need to call the ambulance. He's really hurt."

I rushed across the narrow way and dove into Jasper, making him yelp as we barreled harshly onto the wet blacktop below. I felt my pants and knee rip open, but I ignored the stinging. My hands closed around Jasper's neck, and a blood lust washed over me. What had I ever done wrong to him to make him hate me? I only tried to help Rosalie. I didn't want to hurt Carlisle. I didn't do anything at all. He had shoved too much at me at once and finally made me snap. It was his fault I was so weak. His fault I hadn't stopped Alice.

"I hate you, Jasper!" I wailed, feeling all of my suppressed and denied emotions flooding forward and smothering me. Jasper struggled against me, flailing quite impressively. I felt tears falling from my eyes as I glared at him. His face started turning blue when he thrust his knee into my groin. I doubled over and rolled away from him.

Jasper rolled onto his knees and glared at me, breathing heavily. He snarled, "What the hell is wrong with you?"

I clenched my fists and glared at him through my tears. "This is all your fault, Jasper!"

He looked shocked. "Mine? I don't even know what's going on."

I glanced at Peter scornfully. "Not him, Jasper. I couldn't care less about _him_."

"Then what are you talking about?" He demanded hotly.

I stumbled to my feet and glared at him as he got onto his own. I hissed, "I'm talking about me. I thought you were my friend! You're supposed to help me."

He snorted scornfully. "Nothing can help you. You're fucking psycho."

I winced, feeling another spurt of rage shoot through me. He knew I had problems with being called crazy. People had been doing it since I was little. I was hyper, and out of control, and temperamental. I was not psycho. I was just fucked up, and I couldn't even help that.

Angered further than before, I lashed out at him. I hit him so hard his nose probably broke. He was a lot tougher than Peter was, though. He didn't fall or become dizzy. Instead, he growled and sprang at me in an attempt to retaliate. I shot my arm forward, ramming it brutally into his abdomen. Winded, his breath hissed as he toppled limply to the ground.

"You're going to get hurt." I spat at him distastefully. Was he suicidal? I could break him in half. I could locate and rupture his spleen if I wanted to. Why would he even try to win in a fight against me? We, being the kids that we were- the trouble causing and ill behaved sort- had definitely gotten into our fair share of fights when we were younger. He used to win some, until I turned twelve and finally caught up to his relative size. Having been stronger and trained in combat, I kicked his ass each and every day after that. He knew it, but he was determined anyway.

I realized I wasn't the only one who was being fueled by outside sources right now. I was upset over Alice, and my dad leaving, and being such a fucking weak loser. Whatever the hell his problem was- I knew he was going to take it out on me. He always did. And just like always I was going to hit back instead of becoming a punching bag.

Elbow to the sternum. Foot to the thigh. Fist to the face- again. That was Jasper's damage total by the time he gave up and sank to the ground. He wasn't a totally inaccurate shot. I didn't think my left eye was opening anytime soon; it was too swollen and watering something fierce.

I, too, sank onto the ground to catch my breath. I was surprised beyond belief to see Jasper had started to cry as he wiped blood off of his face with his wet shirt. I had only seen him cry twice, ever. At his mother's funeral, and the day Alice kicked him to the curb.

He was lost. He was hurting. He was weak. Just like me.

I opened my mouth to apologize to him, but he waved his arm at me and chocked out, "Don't talk to me, Edward. Just shut the hell up." He fumbled around his pocket and pulled out his phone. I listened in silence as he called the EMT's and told them to come get Peter. They were really getting experience tonight.

"You're going to jail for this." Jasper hissed at me. "Fifteen years for premeditated if he dies. Did you know that?"

I looked away from him, not wanting to think about that. I was quite suddenly regretting today's actions. Jasper acutely ignored my silence and continued, "So are you happy now, Edward? Was this worth it? Will knowing that you, a registered lethal weapon, tried to kill some confused kid keep you smiling when you get to call your mom and tell her why you've been arrested?" He glared at me, his eyes burning. "Do you think your dad would be proud of you right now?"

"Oh, what do you know?" I snapped back at him, surprised that I was still able to feel hostile after literally beating my earlier aggression into two people. "You never had a dad that could ever be proud of _you_. Don't preach to me."

"I never wanted a dad." Jasper whispered under his breath.

"Yes, you did." I snorted at him. "It's all you wanted until you met Bella."

His bottom lip quivered, and he wiped his eyes. He was bruised, bleeding, crying, and sitting in a cold and filthy alleyway with the rain soaking though his clothes. It was a painful jolt to realize we were more alike than I ever wanted to admit to myself.

"So what if I did?" He whimpered. "Was it wrong of me to want that? Does it make me a bad person?"

My heart stirred a little. "No," I answered gently. "It just makes you a kid like the rest of us."

"Everyone feels weak sometimes, you know." He replied, apparently trying to match my small level of readiness-to-talk. "Things happen in life that make us realize how fragile and useless we all really are. You can't let that weakness rule your life, though, Edward."

I crossed my arms and pointed out, "And you can't let bitterness rule _yours_. Nobody could have stopped your mom from dying. Not you. Not Gregory. Not any of the people on the base. Stop trying to reason it out and torture yourself. It was just an accident."

I could see how tense Jasper had gotten from here. We were not allowed to talk about his mom, ever. It was just a rule that everyone respectfully agreed to. It was like how we all avoided talking to Alice about her parents, or me about my dad. Sometimes things just had to be said, though, and that was that. It was time Jasper let go and tried to move on. Just like it was time I tried to let go of my father and attempt to stand up on my own.

"It isn't your fault that Carlisle got sick on New Year's." He muttered to me. "His life sucks, too. He just wanted to be happy. I was... afraid he was going to get hurt like Alice did today. I didn't mean to hurt you." His eyes met mine, blue pools of regret and sorrow.

I sighed once, shrugging. After a few seconds of silence, I admitted, "I don't hate you."

"I'm sorry I abandoned you when you needed me." I could hear he was sincere.

"I'm sorry that Gregory doesn't want you." I answered, knowing that was the biggest problem in his life and had been for a while.

"Me, too." He agreed sadly. After a few more seconds he added, "I'll visit you in jail. It shouldn't be more than a year, probably."

"Yay." I answered unenthusiastically. I was an idiot. A fucked idiot, because now I was going to get a _second_ aggravated assault charge on my record. Damn it all to hell.

The sirens of the ambulance and the cop cars was dangerously near to our location. I asked hopefully, "Will you come with me? Can you call my mom, so the cops don't have to? She likes you, she might take it better."

Jasper staggered to his feet and grabbed my hand, pulling me to mine. Heartlessly he accepted, "Yeah. I can do _that_ for you, at least."

I forced myself to smile. I had feared that our relationship was shattered forever. I had been convinced he really wanted nothing to do with me. Violent and painful as it was, we finally struggled back to the level of closeness we once had. It wasn't much, but it was better than nothing.

Maybe I could be somebody again, if I had somebody willing to help me find my identity amongst the darkness life had buried it in.


	47. Disapperance Update!

**Author's Note:** Hi! I'm just here to let everyone know I have most definitely not given up on this story. (The mere thought is a tragedy to me.) Life is just draining the life out of me. College stuff, family woes, hamster deaths. But fear not, for I shall refresh myself on this fic and get back to working on it before Monday. Let's hope for an update before too long. Encouraging PM's will make me write faster. :P


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